Chapter two

Scars

Hastily walking down the dirt pondered walkway, Sakura didn't feel like talking at the moment, to her friends, to Itsuka-san, no one. She was in one of those moods again. The moods when she would isolate herself for the whole day or even a week…

She wanted to be mature, she wanted to know if she was mature at seventeen years of age but she still didn't know the real meaning of growing up. He always seemed to be grown up just like he was like when he was younger. Always taking in the pain and hiding it, always trying to move forward and never forgetting what his goal in life was. He was always strong but what was she to him? Sakura felt like she was a complete weakling compared to him but there was some things that he lacked… and in another way there was some things that she lacked herself.

"I always thought that he was the one who finished the side to me from which I lacked skills of fighting, of being strong," Sakura thought. He was a part of her, to finish her, even if he liked it or not. Therefore, leaving… just for more power, leaving her without a proper good-bye, broke a part out of her. Thus her mental being suffered. She wanted to wake up each daybreak knowing that he was there, to wake up knowing that she could take care of him, to wake up and know that he was alive. But for years… she was sceptic about all of this.

She shook her head as she walked down the main hallway at head quarters, to Itsuka's office. How could she be thinking like that? Of course he was alive! He had to be. He wouldn't die that easily. He was Sasuke of the Uchiha clan! Slowly, proceeding as if the door was made of glass, Sakura made her way in refraining from slapping her face, just remembering that she had forgotten to knock.

"O-wabi itashimasu, gomen nasai." Sakura bowed regret rising, creeping up her arms. "Itsuka-san it's because-"

She chuckled lightly tapping the bottom of her pen on her desktop. "Sakura, do itashimashite. Lucky for you, I don't mind it so much now because I'm not in a bad mood…" Drifting off, Itsuka shifted in her seat, propped her elbows and put her chin in her hands. "Sakura." The green orbed teen jumped from being startled. Itsuka smiled and leaned back in her chair. "So how did things turn out, at the movies I mean?"

Tapping her toes on the ground Sakura made sure that she wasn't going to make any eye contact with Itsuka. "Well… it's kind of well…" Why wasn't she able to let out the words that she wanted to say? Oh yeah, because they're my personal thoughts. "Well, let's just say that it really makes me think about my life and how it's really related to the movie. It's just that…" Itsuka observed her face carefully. "That," Sakura's voice dropped to a whisper, "that I felt like I'm in Ayuki's position at the moment."

There wasn't much for Itsuka to say already having thoughts in her head for conclusions. "Sakura, you're free to leave my office. And for the day, you can take it easy. Thank you for your report."

Bowing respectfully Sakura had a slight lump in her throat. "A-arigato…" Straightening herself she turned and left with thoughts darting in and out of her mind. Why did you want us to watch the movie? Sakura thought. Especially when you wanted to hear my report about it? There is something that you are hiding, Itsuka-san and I want to know what it is, hopefully someday.

On her way out she concentrated on the dirt road, eyeing every small pebble and grain that her eye could catch a sight of. She mumbled to herself under her breath…

"Sakura, matsu!"

She jumped, rubbing her arms. It was Ino… Sakura swept her mood and painted over a new face. "Ohayo Ino… Nani?" she asked quietly when Ino caught up beside her catching her breath.

"Oi, I was just saying hi. Geez… Anyways I was just thinking, do you remember that the festival that Tsunade-sama is thinking about?" With question Sakura nodded. "Well I wanted you to come with me and-" Opening her mouth, Sakura was about to protest until Ino lifted a finger and went, "Ah, ah, ah. Let me finish. I was saying that I wanted you to come with me and Shikamaru and it'd be strange for you to go without someone… since this is the Festival of Hatsukoi we're talking about. And there was this really hot guy that I just thought…." she trailed off when she saw Sakura look away from her and up ahead of herself instead as if focusing on something far away.

Taking a deep breath she responded in a calm voice, "Remember, I like someone else so I don't want to go."

Ino's mouth fell agape then she smirked. "It's Sasuke, isn't it?… Right, Sasuke."

Sakura slightly twitched then nodded trying to forget about her reaction. She hesitated but answered anyway. "Right… Sasuke." It felt raw- his name, rolling off her tongue so smooth. It was a while since she last said his name.

Ino placed her hands on her hips. "Sakura, Sakura, Sakura. You're still going after him? I mean he left the Leaf years ago and never made contact with us. Face it, he's a missing-nin and you-"

With clenched fists Sakura halted, pivoted on one foot so that she would face Ino and spat surprisingly in her face, "And you should shut up! Damare! I know that and never forgot about it so would you just stop rubbing it in? All that stuff, just stop rubbing it in!"

A bit taken back, Ino stepped away from Sakura waving her hands, palms facing Sakura. "Hey, gomen nasai, I was just…." Her blue eyes followed Sakura as she just left refusing to say a good-bye. Rubbing her head Ino thought, "Great, I think I over did it…"

That Night

Sakura shifted in her bed feeling uncomfortable just like she did for so many days, for so many years. Her jade orbs narrowed focusing on my mofu as her mind thought of him and everything else. Maybe Ino was right, maybe she-

"No can do, Sakura! Don't listen to her, listen to your heart. It's your life and your own choices. Sakura, you love him then go for it. Just like what happened in the movie, remember?"

Shutting out her inner self Sakura shut her eyes tight and tried falling asleep. Every minute seemed like an hour something that Sakura felt like years just lying there, tossing and turning. When she would lie on one side she would get tired of that position and move to her other side. Once that side was tired she would move again. Frustrated she sat up and gazed blankly at the wall in front of her. Sleep was something that she was not getting for weeks. Too many things were on her mind.

Bringing her knees into her chest she wrapped her arms around then and rested her chin on her knees. "What does he think of me?" she whispered shutting her eyes tight leaning her forehead on her forearms. "Why does he think I'm so weak?…" Tears lingered at the rims of her eyes dangerously hanging off the edges. "What's so wrong with me?" Her shoulders shook from her cries. She remembered his face… his words.

Looking briefly over his shoulder Sasuke answered, "Because you're annoying." Sakura stood there stiff…

"After all the missions we did, you are weaker than Naruto…"

"You shouldn't take the Chunin exam, you're still too weak."

But when she had found him leaving the village…

"Suki desu…" Tears fell smoothly down Sakura's cheeks from her jade orbs.

She felt him walk up to her back as his breath lingered on the back of her neck… he was so close. "…Arigato," he whispered.

He actually replied with something more than she had expected him to say.

Sakura pulled her mofu around her shoulders and shook, crying from all the memories. Maybe he wasn't worth waiting anymore but then again, at the same time Sakura didn't want to let him go. Not yet. Hiccupping, she still managed to let some words slip out of her mouth, "Sometimes I wished that we never met…" Maybe he was thinking the same thing…

His dark eyes fixed on the wall he remembered that day…

"Okasan… Otosan, what does he really think of me and Niisan?"

Looking over her shoulder she was able to take a sight of her son. "…Why all of a sudden?"

His eyes fell onto the table. "Before, Otosan had said to me, 'As I expected you are my child.'" He paused then resumed talking. "He was always saying that to Itachi and because of that, it was great when he said it to me."

The mother smiled closing her eyes, head tilting at an angle. "Well that's good isn't it?"

Still, his eyes were fixed on the table. "But lately… things haven't been going good between Niisan and Otosan." His mother opened her eyes surprised even if she knew already. "I am only a replacement for my brother," he whispered.

She sighed quietly then replied, "Your brother is your brother and you are you. Otosan is always concerned for the both of you."

His head jerked up. "Then, why always Niisan!"

Her eyes softened as she answered, "That's not it. Otosan is the representative of the whole clan… If the clan is in an unfortunate position he must protect it."

"What!"

Putting out her hands in the air, palms facing the ceiling she said, "Itachi is the older brother of you and the next one to your Otosan… so the job of looking after the clan will be left to him someday. Your Otosan is the supervisor of that job so in that case he might be paying more attention to your Niisan." When his face fell she added while pointing to herself to emphasize the idea more she said, "But when alone and your father has conversations with me, all he talks about is you."

She smiled as the look on her sons face lifted. His eyes softened and he smiled weakly.

"Hmph. What would you think Otosan would think of you now, Itachi!" he asked the air hoarsely. Eyes falling to the ground as he gripped his wounded arm he whispered, "But worse… what would Sakura think of me now?… Am I becoming like Itachi?" His breath became heavy as he forced himself to move into another position. "She knew this before I had even noticed myself. She tried to stop me before I would loose everything but I ignored that."

Smirking was something too difficult for him to do. Instead he had a frown. "Now… I've almost lost everything that I had." Stomach uneasy he thought, "But… what I think about most is… have I lost you?…" Removing his hand from his wound he gazed down at the blood on his hands. "What have I done?…" he whispered.

Sakura choked and coughed. Grabbing a hold of herself she got off her bed and stumbled into the kitchen downstairs. Slowly drinking a glass of water she thought, Why did I choke all of a sudden? This doesn't ever happen to me. Is it possible that he's thinking of me? What timing…" She placed the glass back down onto the counter and stared at the glass. Frowning she whispered, "What exactly is he trying to do me? It's: he likes me, he doesn't like me, he likes me, he doesn't like me… Or is he just confused more than I am?

"But he always seemed on the right track for things. He was strong. When I was pained I would have to stop for my own sake. When he was pained he would keep moving not stopping even if whatever conflict hurt his heart. He would eat up the pain… and I would bleed from the pain, those were two big differences between us."

As she got under her mofu she was able to close her eyes without having any tears fall from her eyes. But her mind wandered.

What's left for me now? Maybe it's just my heart wishing for that… that miracle? Or is it just a scar that's left on my heart?

Japanese Translations

A/n: I apologize if I forgot to translate any of the other ones in this chapter or the previous ones… -- heh.

O-wabi itashimasu, gomen nasai: This means, "I don't have an excuse, I'm really sorry."

Do itashimashite: It's nothing/no problem.

Arigato: I'm sure you guys remember by now, "Thank-you."

Matsu: Wait

Ohayo: "Good morning" or it could also be said, "Ohayo gozaimasu.""

Nani: What?

Hatsukoi: First love.

Damare: Shut up.

Suki desu: "I love you" but usually in English people translate it as "I like you."

Okasan/Otosan/Niisan: Mother/Father/older brother.

Mofu: Blanket.

a/n: Thank you to those who have read this! I know that the main plot isn't out on the reading yet but it'll soon be. And for the Sasusaku, it's coming!

-Lenna