Disclaimer: This is beginning to be a pain. We all know that I don't own them, but I guess I have to give credit where credit is due…here's to you, Dick Wolf.
Olivia sat at the table outside the café and stared into Erin's eyes, her eyes. Her daughter's eyes were exactly the same as hers, and showed all the same emotions of fear, worry, hurt, and excitement. But the one emotion the girl did not have was guilt.
"Erin, I'm not a good person," she began.
She didn't know where to start, so she started at the beginning, and ended up telling more than she meant to. But once she started, Olivia couldn't stop the words and stories pouring out of her. She'd kept them pent up for so long because she felt that no one would understand. But, for some reason, it was easy to tell Erin…it was her duty to tell Erin. This was Erin's past and she had every right to know. So Olivia told her about her mother's rape, hating her father, the years of abuse and living with an alcoholic, finding out she was pregnant and the fears and doubts she had about being a mother, the hard decision to give her daughter up for adoption, her passion and love for her job, helping victims. The guilt she felt when she looked into her daughter's eyes when she saw her lying in the hospital bed and promising her daughter that she'd bring her daughter justice. Finally, she was done. The words just stopped. She sat and looked into Erin's eyes and, at the same time, felt like she had to catch her breath.
"Wow, um…I'm not sure what I expected, but…umm… I was definitely not expecting any of that."
"Erin, I know it's a lot. And I am so sorry to just spill all this on you after everything you've been through….
"Olivia, stop. I may only be 15, but I understand and I'm glad you shared with me. It's hard to keep all of it bottled up inside. I've never been able to tell anyone of the abuse until the day in the hospital…but you know, I'm a lot like you."
Liv looked at her with curiosity, "In what ways?"
"We both have the strength to go on, we both keep our pain on the inside, and we both want to help people."
"Really? What do you want to be?"
"I want to be a school teacher. Maybe teach 1st or 2nd grade. Teachers are heroes too, but they're sort of hidden behind the cops and firefighters. My teachers were there for me everyday and school was a way to escape. I really admire them and want to be there for kids in the future."
Olivia smiled proudly. Her daughter had a good heart.
"But Olivia, there is one thing that I still want to know."
"Okay, even though I'm not sure what I could have left out."
They both laughed. "You didn't tell me who my father was."
"Oh. Well, he was a guy I knew in college. His name was Kyle McFritzman. He didn't want children… in fact, he wanted me to abort, but I could never, ever do that. He signed away his parental rights, so that if I had decided to raise you myself, I couldn't milk him for child support. I don't know much about his history. He was an only child and both his parents are dead; I do know that much. But he died a couple of years ago in a car accident."
"I didn't want to contact him anyway…I…"Erin was interrupted by the ring of Olivia's cell phone.
"Excuse me. Benson…uh huh…what? How did that happen? No, she's with me. I'll drive her back to the precinct and she can stay there…someone call the foster family…okay, we're on our way," she hung up the phone. "Erin, you have to come with me. Your father escaped from the prison guards at his arraignment. You're going back to the precinct where it's safe."
They jumped from the table where Olivia dropped the money for the bill and ran to the car.
Erin sat at Elliot's desk while Olivia sat at hers trying to concentrate on paperwork. Everybody was out chasing the escapee, except for the captain, who stayed behind to keep Olivia sane. As he looked out the office window, he couldn't help but think that Erin was Olivia's twin, much younger, but almost her exact look alike. He was still baffled at the thought that Olivia had a kid.
Ring Ring"Cragen. You caught him? Where? Queens? How'd he get there? Oh, great, he hailed a cab…yea, that made sense. Okay, I'll tell Liv."
"Liv, you can take her back to the foster family. They caught him."
Erin and Olivia sat in silence the whole car ride back to the foster house. Now that Olivia had met her, she wanted to protect her, but she couldn't rewrite the past, and she definitely couldn't take in a child now. She only hoped that by meeting her, she hadn't traumatized Erin anymore than she already had been.
"Well, here we are."
"Yep."
"Erin, if you need to talk, I'm here for you…" a sob caught in her throat. Erin reached over and squeezed her hand.
"I know, Olivia, I know."
Erin opened the door and got out of the car, "Olivia, can we have dinner sometime?"
"Sure, I'd like that."
"Okay, I'll call." Erin shut the door and walked up to the house. Olivia jumped out of the car and shouted,
"Erin, I never stopped thinking about you. I-I never stopped loving you. I…I…I just wanted you to know that."
"Thanks, Olivia," she smiled. "Now go put my dad in jail."
Olivia smiled as she got back in the car. She knew she needed to talk to Huang, captain's orders after all. But first, she had to go talk to Elliot.
I know you're getting sick of cliffhangers. Is it good, and should I keep it going like this? Reviews are lovely!
