I DON'T OWN THE TEEN TITANS.
I DO OWN THE PLOT OF THIS STORY.
(NOTE: THIS IS DEDICATED TO MY DAD. IT'S ALSO DEDICATED TO HOW DARK AND SAD LIFE WOULD BE IF YOU HAD NOTHING).
IS IT WORTH IT?
"No, it's not worth it." A voice called out from the shadows.
Starfire jumped with surprise. She scanned the room for any sign that another person was in the room. The mountain of books, notepads, Video and DVDs blocked her sight. She felt incredibly tense. For about a minute or two she kept silent. She listened for anything. When nothing happened for a while, she remembered what she heard.
"No, it's not worth it."
The words echoed through her head. It rang clearly and fully. She gathered enough courage to speak out and ask a question to no one.
"What do you mean by, No."
There was a pause. Dead air passed. Starfire was just about to think that what she heard was her imagination, until she got her reply from nowhere.
"I mean that it's not worth it. Isn't that what you asked. I was just being polite and answering your question."
"Who…who…what are you?" Starfire stuttered.
Again a pause filled the room.
"Hello." Starfire said softly, as to not scare away who ever was in her room.
"…I'm sorry. But I don't understand your question. Can you please explain it?"
"Um…what are you?"
Starfire didn't mean to be rude by not explaining the question, but she didn't know how to make it any clearer.
"Well," the voice began, "If it helps, I don't know what I am either."
Somehow, a voice talking to you from nowhere saying that it doesn't know what it is didn't help to ease Starfire's tension. She soon ignored this and tried to think of something to say, but all she could think of was "What do you mean, it's not worth it?"
"Please tell me. Why do you believe it's not worth it?"
"Well if I didn't believe that it's not worth it, why would have gone and killed myself."
At this point of time, Starfire's tension level went through the roof.
"Are you…dead?"
Dead air sank down upon the room once again.
"Well normally when someone kills themselves they normally die." The voice broke the silence.
"What…what are you doing here?" Starfire asked, unsure what to expect as a reply.
"I'm here to answer your question, and to show you that death is a release from the pain of life. There's nothing to fear from killing yourself just to spare you from the strain of living."
Starfire was stilled confused by the fact that she was talking to a dead person. Raven had told her many times about ghost. She felt sorry for souls that weren't able to move on. A bit of disbelief kept Starfire from fully comprehending this situation.
"If you are a lost spirit, then please prove it."
A long pause filled the stale air in the room, much longer than any of the silent moments before.
"Look under your bed."
Curious, Starfire did as the voice said and, to her surprise, pulled out a long sword that was coated in dried blood. Sickened and disturbed, Starfire dropped the sword and screamed out for help.
The door flung wide open to let Robin rush in immediately.
"Starfire what's wrong!" He said, panicking that something happened to his favorite Titan.
Starfire told him everything. The question, the voice, the blood stained sword, she just let her emotions take over. As she rambled on, Robin searched the room to see if there was anyone or anything hiding. He couldn't see anything past the clutter in the room. This soon caught his attention more than his search for this voice. The more he saw, the more he worried. Starfire had been coped up in her room for at least a week or two. She hadn't spoken to any of the other Titans for the last number of days. She only came out for missions and for breakfast. Both she complete as quickly as possible. Robin was scared that his happy alien might be turning into another Raven (no offence to Raven fans).
"She's been reading to much." Robin thought to himself.
"Starfire, how long have you've been awake for?" Robin asked politely.
"I do not know. With all the reading I have done, I have not had much time to count the number of sun rises and sun sets. But I do know that I have been able to read all those books over there." Starfire said as she pointed towards the biggest pile of books.
Robin took one glance at the monster size amount of extremely thick books.
"Okay, that's it. You're going to bed."
Starfire tried to resist Robin pulling her, but tiredness got the better of her. Before she could do anything, she was tightly bundled under a silk blanket.
"There. Now please try and get some sleep. It's for the best."
"But what about the sword." She asked.
Robin looked around the floor but found only 'dust-bunnies' and pieces of ripped up paper.
"Please, get some sleep." Robin said before he turned on his heel and head towards the door.
"Robin." Starfire spoke, as she held her blanket up to her neck.
"Yes." He said, quickly turning around to face her. Robin was always like this towards Starfire. Always ready and willing.
"…Nothing."
Robin felt uneasy, but still continued his way to leave the room.
Starfire wanted to ask Robin the question. She hoped he had an answer for her. But so far the only one, who seemed to have a straightforward answer, was the voice.
She gazed around, unsure what to say.
"Are you still there?"
"I never left. I saw everything. Your friend thinks you're a psycho."
"No he doesn't. He's just worried about me."
There was a long silence. These momentary pauses were becoming familiar with.
Starfire thought to herself for a second while she waited for the voice's reply.
"Why does Robin care? Why would he care? Am I worth it for him?"
"Look at the floor." The voice returns.
Scared of what she'll find this time, Starfire slowly tilts over to the side of her bed. Lying on her pink carpet is the blood stained sword. Starfire isn't as surprised to see it now as she was last time. Driven by impulse, she leans forwards and picks it up.
"You can end it all now. You don't have to live in a world with so much pain and suffering. You can free yourself."
Even though it does seem like the only way out, Starfire is held back by something. A strange feeling that if she does this, she'll affect a love one deeply. But who.
As she builds up the courage to perform this deed, she pauses and thinks to herself.
"How do I know that you're not someone from HIVE, or a bad guy, or even Slade?"
"You don't."
Not exactly the reply Starfire was expecting.
"I will not perform this bad deed if you are a bad person."
The pause returns and echoes through the room.
"Look at the side of the blade."
Curious, Starfire peers down. To her it seems like a normal blade (except for the fact that it's covered in dry blood). Smooth side, sharp edge, mirror-like appearance, it seems normal, Possible only used once.
"Now close your eyes."
"What?"
"I'm going to prove to you that I'm not someone from HIVE or a super villain or even Slade. Now please close your eyes."
Troubled by the voice's request, she slowly shut her eyelids. Soon she can feel a slight humming vibration from the sword. She wants to look at what's happening, but she also wants to obey the voice's request since he's done so much and 'could' be correct with his statement.
"Open them."
Slowly she opens her eyes, gazes towards the blade, and is amazed to see that the dry blood stain has been replaced by and engraving that reads: 'Death is the third side of the coin'.
Both the engraving and what had happened confused Starfire.
"Do you know any bad guy who can do half the stuff of what I showed you? Slade would come close, but even he wouldn't be able to do that engraving thing."
Fear swallowed her whole. Starfire didn't know what to say.
"Why…why…why do you want me to kill myself?"
Something strange happened. Starfire felt weak and sleepy. The late nights studying had drained her of her energy. She begins to fall asleep. Before she dazed off, she managed to hear to voice's reply.
"Because I want to save you."
THE NEXT MORNING…
The pitter-patter of rain woke Starfire late in the day. About just past lunchtime. She sat up quickly in her bed. She looked down on her lap. There it was. Waiting for her like a little puppy waiting for his owner. She wondered if the sword was begging her to use it, or if she was just imagining it.
Her eyes wandered to the window. Grey clouds filled the sky as far as she could see. Rain poured from the heavens like a never-ending waterfall.
"Good day…the weather of this world is getting worst everyday. Twisters, tidal waves, hurricanes, earthquakes, floods, droughts, heat waves, blizzards, bush fires. The end is going to be hell. And most likely it's going to be soon. But you don't have to see it. You can spare yourself from it. End it now. Please…spare yourself."
"Why? Why do you want me to kill myself? You said you wanted to save me. But why?"
"Because you remind me of someone I wasn't able to save. I blame myself for letting her die."
The voice seemed to be talking to himself.
"Why didn't I do something? Why couldn't I have done something? I know that I couldn't do anything, but that's not good enough. She was in pain and she begged me to do it. But her father wouldn't let me. He was a malicious bastard. He made her suffer. She knew what was going to happen. She knew, I knew, and yet I failed her…"
The voice seemed to fade away.
Starfire was about to say something until the door opened up.
"Hey. I thought you might like some tofu on toast. Or as I like to call it, 'Toast-fu'."
Starfire stared weakly at the green changeling as he entered the carrying a tray with tofu, toast, and a cup of tea. He placed the tray on Starfire's lap. When she looked down, she was surprised to see that the sword was gone. Beast Boy noticed how pale she looked.
"Star, are you okay? You don't look so good."
She was about to say something until she saw a large scar on Beast Boy's hand.
"Friend Beast Boy. What has happened to your hand?"
"Oh that. It's no biggy. We went out to stop Mad Mod last night and I just got cut by one of his little British robot things. No big deal. Well, enjoy your breakfast…or lunch or something."
As soon as Beast Boy left, and Starfire set the tray to the side of her bed, the sword reappeared on her lap.
"He's lying. He's got cuts and scrapes all over his body. He fainted last night because of so much blood lost. Being a Titan is so dangerous. Do you think you can handle it if someone dies? Raven, Beast Boy, Cyborg, or even Robin. You don't have to go through that pain. You can end it now. Please, save yourself. I don't want to be guilty for not saving two people."
"I can't." Starfire as began to cry. Her tears fell on the blade of the sword, which made it seem even shinier.
The voice began to sound slightly angry.
"How far do I have to go to convince you to save yourself? We're all going to die anyway. You might as well die without suffering."
"But…I can't."
Stillness followed. Then the voice ended the silence by saying a name of place that Starfire would never forget.
"Old bridge cemetery. Opposite St. Artec church. The last row. Second last tombstone."
OLD BRIDGE CEMETERY (STILL RAINING)…
The huge rusty gates, for some strange reason, were the most welcoming things Starfire has seen in the past few days. From standing at the entrance, she could tell that the cemetery was old and filthy.
"I'll wait here for you okay." Cyborg said as he sat on the 'T-car'. He offered to give Starfire a lift to the cemetery. He was a bit curious as to why would Starfire would want to go here, but like the gentle man he is, he didn't ask any questions and gave Starfire her space.
Starfire slowly hovered down the narrow lane. To both sides of her there were graves cluttered together like cloud of sorrow above her.
She was a bit startled by the return of the voice.
"They died in wars. They died in hospitals. They died in the line of duty. Some even died making sure others didn't die. But they all died in pain. Remember what I said. Last row. Second last tombstone."
A few minutes of silence with herself, she soon arrived at her destination. She stood facing a tombstone that seemed perfectly dry in the never-ending rainfall.
She read the engraving out loud to herself.
"Kiaro Yamagushi. Died age 15. Died as a human, now lives forever as an angle."
Starfire wondered to herself. And even though she didn't know if the voice was still there or not, she still asked a personal question.
"Voice, who was she?"
THE NEXT CHAPTER HAS SLADE IN IT, BEFORE HE BECAME SLADE. THE NEXT CHAPTER IS A FLASHBACK OF ABOUT TEN YEARS…. LIKE I SAID BEFORE, IF YOU FIND THIS TOO DEPRESSING, STOP NOW! BUT IF YOU'RE LOVING IT, GO ON AND READ SOME MORE?