Chapter 13 An Engaging Proposal

Several days later, they were all still quite shaken from the trip to the child psychologist. Grissom had taken off all but one workday and Sara hadn't even thought of going to the lab. On top of that, Sara had practically moved back into Grissom's home, falling asleep every night in Hannah's bed or on the sofa. On Saturday night, they decided that they all needed to get out of the house and back into society. Or at least out of the house. After a quick consultation with the newspaper, they decided on a casual dinner and an early showing of Because of Winn-Dixie. Hannah simply loved the movie and the two adults couldn't help but think that she was just as adorable as the little girl on screen. By the time the credits were rolling, Hannah was yawning heavily, looking to Grissom to carry her out to the car.

"I think the lady is getting a little spoiled," he teased as he placed her in the booster seat. Hannah giggled and gave him a childish kiss before he moved away and closed her door. Grissom was still smiling when he started the engine and began to drive back toward home. After a few minutes of silence, the two adults realized that Hannah was sound asleep.

"What are you thinking about work?" Grissom's question was abrupt, but not terribly surprising; Sara knew it had been coming. Since Hannah's arrival, Sara had officially been on leave from the department, only going in on a few urgent cases where they were short staffed or Grissom felt her insight was needed. In all, she had barely worked sixty hours in the previous four weeks. For a woman who was used to working 72 hours straight, it was a huge cut back. It also couldn't be easy for the lab, loosing someone who had worked so well and so frequently. The case loads of the other CSIs had increased three fold once Sara had cut back her usual hours.

"I haven't been," Sara answered evasively, looking out the window as the passed through the neon-lit streets and moved into the more residential area.

"That's not like you."

"Neither is sleeping, or cooking, or taking care of a four year old," she pointed out wryly, turning to look at him for a moment. "But I've been doing that."

"Sara, I don't want you to feel like you have to do this—"

"I don't want you to keep making me feel like I can leave at any time. That makes a person feel a little unwanted," she pointed out, her voice bordering on anger.

"Sara, I want you with me. More than anything. But I won't cost you your career."

"First of all, you haven't made me do anything or even asked me to do anything I haven't wanted to do. And second, my career isn't ruined. It's on hiatus. One that I needed, whether Hannah had come along or not. I get too involved in these cases."

"I know," he agreed gently, surprised that she had said it herself after so many years of denying her close empathy for the victims she encountered daily. "You've been thinking about something," he prodded gently. "I know you, and you couldn't go a month without mulling over some idea."

"Teaching," she said suddenly, as though spitting it out might be the easiest way to clear her mind.

"Teaching?"

"College," she said simply, letting the conversation stall for a few moments. "I love my job, I do."

"I know you do."

"But that's not all there is to life—"

"No, it's not."

"For the first time, I can imagine myself without the workaholic part. It's sort of nice. I never thought I'd be able to imagine myself outside the lab. I thought that was the only place I'd ever matter."

"Sara, you'll always matter—"

"Thank you," she said softly. "But that's not how I felt. Not until recently. And it feels nice, to be needed by someone who's actually alive." Grissom kept quiet, realizing that she needed an outlet at the moment. She continued, clearing her mind of all the unusual thoughts that had been occurring over the past few weeks.

"I was sitting with Hannah about two weeks ago, helping her build some sort of tower out of those block sets Nick gave her. She was trying to build a tower like the one in this picture of Sleeping Beauty. Eventually she did. And she was so proud of herself. So was I," she added with a small smile.

"It was such a big deal for her. I was thinking about all the things that were important to me, when I was little. I realized that my mother was never there. And I always felt so alone. I don't want Hannah to know that feeling. I want to be there while she's learning to read and when she rides her first two-wheeler. Last week, she was with Martha and she read a book. Or, at least a few words. She read her first words and I was investigating a murder on the strip. I don't want the babysitter or nanny or daycare worker helping her with school assignment or tucking her into bed. I want to be there." Her words toward the end were incredibly resolute and Grissom could tell that she had made up her mind, no matter what else she might say.

"So, you've thought about it a little?" She could see that his eyes were sparkling as he tried not to laugh at her extremely out-of-character outburst.

"A little," she answered with a smile. Grissom pulled his Tahoe into his garage and gently carried Hannah up the stairs to her bedroom. Sara carefully removed her shoes and helped him tuck her under the covers, right in the middle of the bed where no one had to worry about her falling. Turning out the light and plugging in the little crystal nightlight, the two adults returned to the living room. Grissom took Sara's hands and led her to the sofa before she could even mention leaving.

"Sara, I want you to be happy. If being with Hannah is what you want, then I'm all for it. If you want to teach, I think that's great. Greg can attest to your talent as a teacher."

"I can't teach," she said quickly, "I never finished my masters, and that's barely enough to teach at the university level. I'd need a PhD."

"So get one."

"Grissom, a PhD takes years. Not to mention the money. Forget I mentioned it—"

"I'm not forgetting it," he insisted. "This is what you want, I can tell."

"Griss, you know you can't always have what you want. I'd think you'd learned that lesson by now—"

"But we can this time," he insisted, his eyes intently staring at her, almost paralyzing he with their intensity. "You've told me what you want. I'll tell you what I want, and then we can make it happen for one another."

"It's not that easy," she said with a cautious smile, inwardly in awe of his current state of child-like optimism. She didn't see him this excited very often; he usually kept his feelings extremely well hidden.

"Sure it is," he exclaimed, "you want to go back to school. You've got the drive and the intelligence; the money won't be a problem—"

"And what is it that you want?" As she spoke, he knelt on the ground and Sara felt her heart literally skip a beat. "Grissom, what are you doing?" Her eyes grew wide as he reached into his pocket and withdrew a tiny black velvet box. "Griss, what's going on?" Clearing his throat, smiling shyly, he took Sara's left hands into his.

"Sara Sidle, will you marry me?" He flipped open the little box to reveal an antique white gold ring, engraved the entire circumference with a beautiful motif and set with a simple, elegantly cut diamond. Sara's hands flew to her face as the sobs started, but he pulled them back, his eyes begging her for an answer. She nodded as the tears continued to flow.

"Yes," she finally said between the sobs.

"Yes?"

"Yes!" A giggling voice said from the hall. They turned to see Hannah standing there, smiling broadly as she watched the scene unfold. They both laughed as Sara dried her tears. Grissom slid the ring onto her left ring finger and then kissed her before turning back to Hannah. He attempted to be stern, but he couldn't hide the merriment in his voice as he fought back the urge to grin.

"What are you doing awake, young lady?"

"I wasn't tired," she said innocently, making a face. "I heard you and Sara."

"You heard me and Sara? What did you hear?"

"You're getting married," she said with a happy giggle.

"Do you know what that means?"

"Sara's gonna live with us!" Hannah bounced across the room and hugged Gil, then Sara. "I'm happy."

"We're happy too," Sara assured her, still a bit shaken. "But it's time for bed."

"We didn't read a story," Hannah reminded her with a silly smile.

"You're right." Sara stood and offered her hand to the little girl, who took it and began pulling Sara to her room. The almost-giddy new bride-to-be took Grissom's hand and pulled him along as well.