To Reviewer (sorry, can't remember who you are): I know for a fact that Cheese is a girl. I thought she was a guy at first, but I've heard many references to her being a girl. I can't remember exactly where, but I know I have... And yes, it was the actual Cream the actually said it.

2. A Chao Too Fast For Sonic?!

"Take a look at this list, geez!" Tails exclaimed, letting the scroll of paper unroll.

Knuckles flopped down on the couch beside him and snatched the paper from Tails' hand. "Wash every night...read bedtime stories... monitor naptime... keep on a leash when taken outside...keep away from Knuckles' mouth... WHAT?! What's that supposed to mean?"

Tails took it back from his gloved hand. "A dog's mouth is cleaner than yours. You might want to think of brushing once in a while, Knuckles."

"Rouge was right—echidnas do smell. Probably because they've been extinct for years! Don't feel bad about the smell just because you're a rotting corpse, Knux," Sonic chimed in.

"Oh yeah? How 'bout I give you a rotten knuckle sandwich?" Knuckles roared, taking after Sonic through Tails' house once more.

"You watch too much TV!" Tails heard Sonic yell in reply as he saw Cheese sitting in front of the screen door and wistfully watching the wind blow through the trees outside. Tails smiled at the chao sitting there so serenely amid the chaos that Sonic and Knuckles were wreaking on the house.

Tails got up from where he sat and moved to stand behind Cheese, his hand rested on the latch ready to open it. "You wanna go out, Cheese?"

The chao nodded, the innocent look on her face charming Tails into submission. "You're so cute!" he said as he flung open the door, startling the birds from the nearby treetops and squashing a spider that had got caught in the door.

"Chao-chao!" Cheese chanted before taking off at a breakneck speed through the door. Tails stood in the doorway, watching the chao depart.

"Oh...She's so cute! It sounded like she said, 'bye-bye' in her chao language!" Tails exclaimed just as Sonic and Knuckles ground to a halt behind him.

Knuckles rushed to the door and shielded his eyes from the sun to see Cheese quickly disappearing. "Tails! You idiot! You're not supposed to let Cheese out without her being on a leash!"

Tails turned to Knuckles with hearts in his eyes. "But she was so cute...That look in her eyes said she really had to go take a—"

"Thank you!" Knuckles interrupted. He leaned out further to try to see Cheese. "Wow... I think that Cheese might be moving faster than Sonic."

"Well then, what are we waiting for? And no one's faster than me, cause I'm Sonic the Hedgehog!" Sonic yelled as he zipped out the door only to be caught in the opening with Tails and Knuckles, who had moved at the same time.

"Hey, lemme out!"

"That's my leg, peabrain!"

"On the count of three," Tails began the countdown. "One, two, three!"

The three shot out of the doorway and landed in a heap. Sonic was the first to recover. "Get back here, you...you..." he trailed off and looked down to Knuckles for support.

Knuckles crawled out from under a dazed Tails. "Chao?"

"What he said!" Sonic finished, dashing off towards the desert, where Cheese was headed.

"Come on, Tails! We've gotta help Sonic!" yelled Knuckles as he grabbed one of Tails' tails and ran.

"Wha?"

"Hah! You're mine!" Sonic said, closing in on Cheese. He reached out to grab her but she took to the air. Sonic made a giant leap, but missed.

Tails followed her. He kept on her tail, literally.

"TAILS! You're right on top of her! Bring her back down!" Knuckles yelled.

"And keep in mind this fic's only PG-13, Tails..." added Sonic.

"Yeah, yeah..." Tails grabbed her, but she slipped out of his grip and flew too fast to be caught up to. "No! Come back! You were good!"

Cheese swooped for the ground and headed for a mini-waterfall.

"Wow! A waterfall and river right in the middle of the desert!" cried Knuckles as he and Sonic came up to it.

"Ever heard of the Nile, knucklehead?"

"Stop calling me that!"

"Knucklehead! Knucklehead!"

"And cue fight scene," Tails groaned as he landed. He saw Cheese head straight for the waterfall and enter a small hole in the rock behind the torrent of water. "Great. Now I can never see her again."

"What's worse is what'll Cream think?" Sonic asked rhetorically, holding off Knuckles with one hand. "We can't come back empty-handed. Hey, I know! We'll make a doll that looks like Cheese. Cream's not too bright, that should fool her!"

"Don't talk about Cream like that!" Tails countered.

Sonic stared him down with a devilish smirk. "Ooh! Someone's got a crush on her, eh?"

"Do not!"

"Do too!"

"Do not!"

"Prove it!"

Just then, Knuckles broke free of Sonic's grip. Sonic and Tails leapt out of the way as Knuckles barrelled forward in a flurry of fists and into the water. He reached the water and continued flailing, breaking the whole rock with his fists, creating a tunnel for the three of them to climb through.

Tails and Sonic stared, dumbfounded.

"Or we could follow her," Tails offered, his eyes still locked on Knuckles.

They both walked leisurely after him. "Hey, keep it up, my personal boring machine!" Sonic called over the din.

You know, everybody, I could use your ideas, too. I'm not much of a comedian, so if you all could give me ideas to feed off of, that would be great. Meh, I'm more one of those Shadow-like people that doesn't like having fun the same way as everyone else and has a weird sense of humour...