Here is the next chapter – sorry again about the weight. I'm not sure I'm thrilled with this chapter, but it gets the story in the right direction, so I'm leaving it. I hope you all enjoy! Please let me know what you think! Thanks so much for all of you that have reviewed in the past – it keeps me inspired.
Chapter 21 Christmas in the Heart
Sara groaned softly from her cocoon of warm blankets as the alarm gave off a shrill warning. It was not the rude and abrupt manner of being awoken that bothered her; it was the overly cheerful Christmas carols that were sure to follow. Although she normally loved Christmas, she felt it was coming entirely too quickly this year, giving her no time to prepare for the perfect holiday. And perfect it had to be, if Sara had anything to say about it.
She was immediately aware upon awaking that she was not alone in the spacious master bedroom. Sure enough, as she opened her bleary brown eyes, she caught sight of a particular young child, sitting on a sofa in the corner of the room, curled up with a soft blue blanket and one of her Magic Treehouse books.
"Good morning," Sara said brightly, stretching as she sat up amidst the warm blankets and comforters. Her brunette hair, freshly cut and styled into shoulder-length locks, fell haphazardly in front of her eyes as she moved. She shook it out of the way and cursed herself for allowing her hairdresser to try something new; it was a hassle, even if it did look sort of amazing.
"Morning," Hannah answered with a smile.
"How long have you been awake?" The little girl was still in her nightgown and the braids that Sara had plaited into her hair the night before, but she looked very alert despite the dark circles under her eyes.
"I only woke up when papa came home. He had a break," Hannah informed Sara timidly. She was a bright child and was fully aware of how worried Sara and Gil were about her; especially her recent sleeping habits.
"Did he leave a note?" The child nodded as her gaze fell momentarily on the nightstand before she turned back to her book.
"Hannah, sweetie, Gil was here at four this morning," Sara said after she read the short note. "Have you been awake since then?" Hannah nodded, pretending to be so entranced in her book that she failed to look up at Sara. Knowing that nothing could be solved in that moment, Sara held back the urge to lecture the young girl; it wouldn't help matters and they certainly didn't have the time. "We'll talk about this later," she added, offering the less than subtle hint that the subject was not closed. "But today we have a full day ahead. We'd better get ready."
"What are we doing?"
"Lots," Sara answered cryptically. "But first we're going to breakfast with Greg and Lily." Hannah grinned and jumped up off the sofa; she absolutely loved Greg and Lily. After their initial rocky venture together, the three had a smooth and happy relationship. Lily, Greg, and Catherine were the only people that Hannah would stay with at this point. It had been a month since they'd started regularly going to Dr. DeMaurier and while both adult saw measurable improvement, it was still upsetting that Hannah couldn't be without at least one of them for more than about an hour. After that, she still got fidgety, nervous, and physically ill.
"Go get dressed, kid-o. I'll be there in a minute to help with your hair."
"I'll wait for you," Hannah said simply, sitting patiently at the antique walnut vanity table that Grissom had bought to tastefully hide Sara's makeup and hair things. She had been thrilled to find it one day, sitting next to the window with a large bow tied around it. Although Grissom was not aware of this until after his purchase, she had spent much of her childhood wanting a similar vanity.
"That's okay. I need a few minutes to get ready. You go and pick something to wear while I get dressed."
"Can you come and help me pick?" Sara bit back a sigh; she could tell that this was going to be one of Hannah's more difficult days. Sometimes she was able to spend the entire day playing on her own as long as she knew where Sara or Gil happened to be. On other days, such as this one was appearing to be, she followed them from room to room, panicking if one of them disappeared into the bathroom. Sara knew that, with the day they had ahead, it was best to go along with the child.
As she stood, it was hard not to smile as she felt the small bulge that had begun to show at her waist. Hannah had not become aware of anything different and they were trying to decide the best way to tell her. Loosely securing her bathrobe around her nightgown, Sara took Hannah's hand and they went into the little girl's room to find suitable attire.
After a quick consultation of the closet, Sara helped Hannah decide on a red sweater, red and black plaid skirt, and a pair of white stockings with black Mary Jane shoes. Once she was dressed, Hannah followed Sara back into her bedroom and watched as the woman dressed in black slacks, a fitted red sweater, and a beautiful silk scarf that had been another gift from Grissom. Sara was not sure who had finally indicated to Grissom that giving gifts was a good idea, but she wished to thank him or her; she was certainly enjoying it.
The ride to the restaurant was quick, luckily for the sanity of Sara. She really needed to get used to the Christmas Carols that Hannah, not knowing them well before, already loved in the few days since the radio stations had begun to play them. Since Sara had never before had someone with whom to meaningfully spend the holidays, she had never allowed herself to enjoy the accoutrements of the season. They spotted Lily right away, sitting alone at a table toward the back of the restaurant.
"Good morning," Lily said kindly, her voice sweet and soft as usual. Sara knew that the bright young girl would remain in the lab for the rest of her career; she was much too timid and sensitive for the field. On the other hand, she was simply a brilliant asset in the lab, a fact that was asserted by every member of the team at one point or another.
"Hey," Sara said, her friendly smile beaming as she settled Hannah into a chair and then took her own spot across from Lily. "How are you?"
"Good," the younger woman said, her voice wavering ever so slightly. As they sat and looked at the menu, Sara carefully took inventory of the situation; Lily had shown up without Greg. On top of that, the petite scientist usually appeared perfectly put together from her tiny crystal barrettes to her perfectly painted nails. Chipped, worried nails clutched the green menu. As Sara took a critical second look, she realized that Lily's glistening hair wasn't curled as usual and her blouse showed a bit of wear, despite the fact that it was still early in the day.
Broken out of her investigative mode by a tug on her arm, Sara turned to see Hannah trying to get her attention. "Can I get Belgian Waffles?"
"If that's what you want," Sara consented. "That sounds delicious. What about you, Lily?" Lily barely answered, quietly saying that she hadn't decided yet. Breakfast continued uneventfully, filled with Hannah's chatter and Sara's occasional comment. Hannah's newest interest while out was to inspect every restroom that they came into contact with. It made Sara, who tried never to enter public restrooms, cringe every time the child announced that she had to use the ladies' room. In the interest in keeping her breakfast where it was, Sara waited in the hallway outside the restroom, warning Hannah to wash her hands when she was done.
"Lily, is everything okay?"
"Not really," the young woman said honestly, fighting back the tears that were threatening to fall. "I'm sorry, you don't need to worry about this—"
"I like to think we're friends," Sara said gently, "I'm here to listen. What's up?" Lily was silent, turning slightly so that Sara could no longer see her as tears flowed down her pink cheeks. Before either woman had a chance to speak, Hannah appeared in front of them, watching inquisitively.
"Mama, what's wrong with Lily?"
"Nothing, sweetie," Sara lied as she pulled a small bottle of hand sanitizer from her purse. Motioning for Hannah to hold out her hands, Sara gave her a bit of the lotion, making the small girl sigh.
"I washed my hands," she objected.
"Public bathrooms are very dirty," Sara informed her. "Use it." Hannah obeyed but rolled her eyes, letting Sara know that she thought it was a silly precaution. As they pulled their coats on in the restaurant lobby, Sara caught sight of the time and continued with a renewed sense of hurry.
"Lily, why don't you come over tonight? Grissom and Hannah are going out. We can have a girl's night in," Sara suggested carefully, watching for the younger woman's reaction.
"That would be nice," she answered somewhat shakily.
"Come over whenever you're ready. I should be home around 4."
"Bye Lily!" Hannah waved happily before taking Sara's hand and skipping toward the car. She talked a good portion of the ride, not paying any particular attention until she noticed that Sara was pulling into an unknown parking lot. Before Hannah could panic, she noticed that they were pulling in next to Gil; he was standing outside waiting for them.
"Where are we?" Hannah looked suspiciously at the large stone building in front of them and then back at Sara, who was helping her out of the car seat.
"This is going to be your school," Sara explained, taking a moment to look around. "We don't have to stay today. We just came to visit so you can look around and meet your teacher."
"I don't want to go," Hannah said firmly, standing her ground as Sara pulled gently at her hand.
"Let's at least take a look," Sara pleaded, stooping in front of the child so that their eyes met. "If you don't like it, we'll find somewhere else. But you have to give it a chance, all right?" Hannah nodded, her expression miserable as she sighed and took Sara's hand. As soon as they reached Grissom, a woman came to the door and ushered them inside.
"You must be the Grissoms," she said pleasantly, smiling as she pulled the door close and then led them into a nearby office. "Dr. Ann is expecting you," she said. "I'm Mrs. McClure, Dr. Ann's secretary. May I take your coats?" She took their three coats and hustled out of the room, leaving the door slightly ajar. Sara sat on one of the large leather chairs and remained quiet as Hannah climbed into her lap. Grissom remained standing until another woman entered the room, this one dressed in a classic, sophisticated manner.
Her black pantsuit and red silk blouse were striking with her dark hair and bright green eyes. Offering them a glistening white smile, the woman closed the office door and walked closer. Instead of introducing herself to the adults, her attention focused immediately on Hannah, who was still perched nervously on Sara's lap.
"You must be Hannah," she said brightly, offering her beautifully manicured hand to the tiny girl. Hannah looked at her skeptically for a moment before accepting the hand and shaking it as best a five year old can. "I'm Dr. Ann Battiste. But everyone here calls me Dr. Ann. I'm the headmistress here at Queen of Angels. I'm so glad you came to visit today."
"Thank you," Hannah said politely, still uncertain how to take the situation.
"Who did you bring with you?" After a moment of silence from Hannah, Sara started to speak but Dr. Ann raised her hand slightly, indicating that they should wait. Hannah did eventually answer, introducing the adults quite eloquently in a soft, tiny voice.
"It's nice to meet you both," after shaking hands with both Sara and Grissom, the woman turned her attention back to Hannah. "I was thinking we could go on a tour first and then we'll introduce you to Mrs. Gregson, your teacher. How does that sound?"
"Okay." Hannah latched on securely to Sara's hand as they exited the spacious office and began to walk through the large stone hallways. The extroverted headmistress took them on a tour through the cafeteria, gymnasium, music room, and art room. After the art room came Hannah's absolute favorite; the library. It was large but most of the shelves were low, sitting at a convenient height for their most important customers.
"Do you like to read?" Hannah nodded absently as she walked among the shelves, her tiny fingers tracing the titles. She stopped about three feet away from them, looking puzzlingly at the shelves of books. "I can't read this one," she said, her voice conveying a slight panic. Before Sara could reach her, Dr. Ann let out a wholesome chuckle.
"Those are in German, darling. We have many books in different languages. Would you like to learn to read them?" Hannah nodded eagerly, tentatively pulling at one of the books and revealing the cover of a magic tree house volume.
"It's the Magic Tree House!"
"But this one was published in Oberammergau instead of in New York," Dr. Ann explained patiently, smiling at the tiny girl's excitement. Sara stood back and watched, tears welling in her eyes as she realized that Hannah would be just fine in school; she wouldn't be dependent on them forever. She quickly wiped them away as Hannah turned to her and ran over with the book, eagerly telling Sara about the story and how it was probably the same, even though the words look funny. They were able to eventually drag the little girl from the library and walk toward the main hall.
The headmistress indicated to them that they could enter another office, this one situated across from her own. Inside, Hannah let out a tiny, excited giggle.
"Dr. Mary, what are you doing here?"
"I could ask the same of you, my darling," the older woman said with a bright smile.
"This is my new school," Hannah explained simply, as though that was perfectly sufficient.
"That is wonderful," the woman said emphatically, kneeling down to Hannah's level. "How do you like it so far?"
"It's big," the child answered. "I like the library."
"It is magnificent. I see you've met my friend Dr. Ann," she said, looking up at the younger woman, who was still standing in the doorway. Hannah nodded, looking questioningly between the two women.
"What are you doing here, Dr. Mary?"
"This is where I work, my dear."
"Really?"
"Really."
"Every day?"
"Every one," the woman confirmed. "Some days not as long as others. I have to work at my private office too."
"What do you do here?"
"Oh, I'm just here to listen. Or talk. Just whenever one of the students wants to come talk to me. You're welcome to come too. You remember that, okay?"
"Okay."
"Now, you go on. You still have to meet your teacher! Have a wonderful day. And I'll see you on Friday, right?" Hannah smiled and turned on her heel, ducking back into the hallway and making her way toward the hall that had already been pointed out to her earlier in the tour. Sara, Grissom, and the headmistress hurried to catch up.
"I think she'll adjust just fine," Dr. Ann said with a smile. Sara smiled back hesitantly, hoping that the woman was right. They stopped in front of Mrs. Gregson's door and Dr. Ann knocked lightly, waiting a few moments until a petite woman with long, gently curled, dark hair opened it.
"Good morning Mrs. Gregson. This is Hannah Grissom, your new student. We wanted her to have a chance to meet her class before she starts with us after the holiday."
"I'm so glad you're here, Hannah," the woman said, her voice a mixture of happiness and magic. "This is such a wonderful day to come. Please, come in. You can bring your parents too." The woman stepped aside; her simple black dress swinging gracefully as she let the group into her brightly decorated room. Although the room was fairly quiet save the light strains of Brahms coming from hidden speakers, the nine children were all working busily.
"Today, we're creating our own winter holiday stories to share with the class. We had the choice to work in groups or alone. We just started now. Would you like to work with us?" Without waiting for an answer, she looked to Sara, "Will you be staying long enough?"
"Is that okay, Hannah?" Hannah nodded, her eyes wide as she took in the scene.
"Wonderful," Mrs. Gregson said enthusiastically. From where, no one could see – but the woman pulled out a bell and rang it once. The result was amazing; eight children immediately looked up and fixed their eyes and attention on their teacher. "Mes enfants, we have a new addition to our class. She will be joining us after the winter holidays. But for today she's going to help us with out stories. This is Hannah. Let's introduce ourselves." One by one, the children tentatively walked up to Hannah and told her their names. A tiny blond named Grace was followed by Katrina, Olivia, Serena, Josh, Michael, Matthew, Jason, and Lucas.
After everyone else had gone back to his or her projects, the small redhead named Katrina tugged gently on Hannah's sleeve. "You can help me and Livie. We're making a puppet show."
"That's very nice of you, Katie," the teacher said in genuine praise. When Hannah looked up at Sara for permission to go, her mother nodded, smiling her allowance. The two little girls scampered across the room to a large puppet stage where a small Asian child, apparently Olivia, was sifting through dolls and puppets. After they had gone, Mrs. Gregson turned her attention to the anxious parents.
"I think she'll be busy for a while. You're welcome to leave her for a while, if you still have things to discuss with the headmistress."
"That would be lovely," Dr. Ann said, having just thought the same thing. "We'll go back to my office and finish up a bit of paperwork while the children are working." Sara gave Grissom a worried glace; she didn't want to leave Hannah. Placing his hand on the small of her back, he gently led Sara out of the room, not giving her enough time to object.
"I think Hannah is going to fit in just beautifully," the headmistress said enthusiastically as she perched herself on a chair in her office. "Do you two have any questions yet?"
"Do you have any half day programs?" Sara asked, her voice indicating that she was only slightly kidding. Most of her brain was distraught at the idea of leaving Hannah all day.
"Mrs. Grissom, I understand your concern. But Hannah will be fine—"
"She's been through a lot in her life," Sara argued, ignoring the fact that the woman had mistakenly assumed that she and Grissom were married. It would be the truth soon enough; it was simpler not to argue.
"I'm aware of that. That's the reason this school exists. To make sure that children like Hannah don't grow up with the fear and abuse that's already been instilled in them. Mrs. Gregor is a certified teacher and a licensed children's counselor. Hannah's daily needs will be met with every resource available. And she'll meet with Dr. DeMaurier twice a week, more often if necessary. But from what I've seen of Hannah, I'd say you've already done an amazing job in creating a safe environment for her. Between your home and our school, Hannah will have every advantage in her education and her social experiences."
"This is a good day for her," Sara said stonily. "But she has bad ones too."
"We understand that. The children are never pushed."
"If she can't handle being here on a particularly bad day?"
"You'll be called immediately. I understand this is a hard thing, Mrs. Grissom. But I truly believe that this is a positive place for Hannah. I believe that Dr. DeMaurier thinks so too. She's been recommending Hannah since she first took on her case."
"She's just so young to be in school all day. I don't think waiting another year will hurt—"
"If you come to that decision, I have to respect that. But from my experience, children flourish if placed in the best possible environments as early as possible. Social interaction is key with a child who has been victim to Hannah's years of trauma. The earlier she begins learning and playing in a safe social environment, the less likely she is to have lasting effects from the past few years."
"We want whatever's best for Hannah," Grissom said simply, reassuringly rubbing Sara's hand between his own.
"Then I propose we give this a chance. After the holidays, Hannah can start and we'll talk about her progress from there." The remainder of the meeting was full of paperwork and details, pulling on information that Sara and Grissom has absolutely no way of knowing. Eventually, they made their way back to the first grade classroom where the children were just setting up to tell their stories. Sitting on a carpet in the back of the room, the three adults watched as the bright, energetic children wove stories of Christmas, Chanukah, and many different winter traditions. Hannah played several parts in a puppet show where a fox and a bear learned about the spirit of Christmas.