Big Brother: The Gaian Version
Day Three: Kuja's Folly
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the rights to Final Fantasy or Big Brother they belong to, well someone who isn't me.
" Here we are once again folks, Day Three of the Gaian Big Brother and this is the last full day before the eviction tomorrow night. After Amarant's outburst yesterday he was automatically put up for eviction. The housemates appear to have already decided on Quina which more than likely means she'll be his opponent ". Apollo stood up and shot a grin at the huge crowds which were crammed into the small stands." Anyway folks it's morning in the house and we're about to go check on them, who should win ? You decide! ".
Early morning and most of the housemates are fast asleep in bed. Amarant Coral had roused at sunrise and stepped out into the backyard for some early training. Kuja Tribal had woke in a rather mischievous mood, he shovelled down some breakfast and stepped outside into the glorious sunshine. He schemed some cunning pranks underneath the scorching sun whilst his younger brother snoozed, blissfully unaware. As was expected, Steiner laid out the breakfast whilst the other housemates slumped out of their beds, like lifeless zombies. Eiko, who was extremely bored with life in the house was persistently pestering Amarant with questions such as " can I give you a perm " and " has your head always been that small ". He rolled his eyes and muttered under his breath " I really hate kids ".
Freya and Lani sparred on the crisp lawn, Freya tended to leap around whilst Lani enjoyed her somersaults through the air. Steiner paced through the doors from the kitchen, leaving Vivi to dry the dishes, aided by the heat from a Fira spell. Steiner hated to admit it, but as he watched Freya perform her skills, he realised how much he admired her.
Kuja stepped back into the shade of the house and headed for Zidane, the only one still asleep. He sniggered as he pointed his white palm in his brother's face and whispered the word " Blizzaga ". " YAARRGHHH " he screamed as the freezing cold ice collided with his face and he was shot from the bed. " Wake up call " said Kuja through a sneer " you've gotta learn how to handle your drink bro ". He skipped off happily leaving Zidane pissed off and unaware that there was more to come. Freya and Lani lay on the grass, exhausted from all the energy they'd used up. Garnet kindly cast a Cura spell on Freya but purposely neglected Lani; she'd not forgotten that the young bounty huntress had attempted to kill her a few months before. By the time the afternoon arrived, Zidane, who was already pretty groggy had been caught in Kuja's surprisingly decent traps five times and was becoming increasingly sick of it. He was on the verge of beating the shit clean out of him when Big Brothers voice boomed over the others.
" This, is Big Brother, would Zidane please come to the diary room ".
He leapt up at once and rushed through the door, eager to find out what he wanted. He dropped down into a seat and put his clumpy boots up onto the side. " This is getting pretty stupid now, Kuja's taking things way beyond the limit ". Big Brother chortled wickedly, he was as eager as Zidane to get one over on Kuja. " Listen very carefully Mr. Tribal, I can provide you with a little something that'll shut that cocky bitch up for a while ". Zidane smiled and leant forward, anxious to hear what punishment Kuja would receive.
Meanwhile, outside the diary room the unwitting Kuja was cursing his stupidity, he'd lost sight of Zidane. After ten minutes of searching, he abandoned his pranks game and focused his energies on pulling Lani. She fancied Kuja, no matter how much she denied it she knew deep down that she loved his badboy attitude. Zidane stepped forth from the diary room some fifteen minutes later clutching a small sweet. He spotted Dagger in the lounge and strode across the lawn towards her. He whispered his plan in her ear and showed her the secret weapon. She still had a score to settle with the cheeky perv so she went along. She skipped over to Kuja and dropped down beside him, waving a small lavender sweet before his eyes.
" Look what I've got Kuja, a sex sweet " whispered Dagger through a smile " If eaten, you receive sexual powers for up to 15 hours ". Upon hearing these words Kuja's eyes bulged and he swiftly snatched the boiled sweet. Zidane, who'd been sitting in the shade of a dark corner cackled evilly " hehheh this is gonna be good ". To Freya and Lani's surprise, Steiner stepped up to spar with Freya, she was far more agile than the ageing Captain but his strong blows were not to be reckoned with. Vivi and Eiko watched Steiner in awe, they'd never seen him gloss such energy. Amarant stood up quickly as Quina slinked round a corner and out of sight; the ex-bounty hunter had been keeping a very close eye on the wide Qu.
Zidane approached Kuja and Dagger with a wide grin. " How are you dearest brother? " he asked brazenly " how are you feeling ". Dagger nodded at Zidane who could hardly contain his severity.
" Boobies ".
Kuja snorted at this remark but his face quickly morphed into a shocked smirk. " OH SHIT ! " he screamed before sprinting into the house bathroom. The other housemates could heard his shrieks of pain as his backside exploded into the toilet. Dagger and Zidane erupted into a fit of giggles as he crawled from the bathroom, clutching his backside as though it may drop off at any minute. Even Big Brother couldn't resist having a turn as he called Kuja to the diary room. Kuja attempted to take a seat before Big Brother uttered " boobies " and he rocketed straight back out the door. Kuja skipped dinner that night, his new found fear of boobies kept him locked up in the safety of the bathroom. No-one minded of course, but Lani who could barely contain her feelings any longer.
She stood at the other side of the thick bathroom door, trying to comfort the pained magician. Upon finishing her own meal, Freya walked over, " what is it he's scared of? " she asked with a hint of genuine concern. " Um, Boobies I- " PHHRRTT, Kuja could be heard groaning as his ass was blasted once again.
" boobies? " asked Freya as Kuja commenced with the shrieks of pain.
" Yeah boobies ". PHHRRTTT. " YARRGGGHHH, SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU STUPID COWS ! ".
One-by-one the housemates were called to the diary room to vote for whom they wanted to be up for the public eviction. Kuja declined if course and spent the night in the bathroom, whilst the housemates had an early night, ready for the eviction the next night.
Jesus man, I never thought a Kuja tale would be difficult top right but this was pretty hard. I've constructed a short system with the days, Day 1 was a Zidane story and Day 2 was sort of an Amarant story. This one was a Kuja story and I think I'll be heading for a Freya or Vivi or Steiner story next. Next chapter is the eviction and I thought I'd let you, the reviewers vote this one so tell me who you want out, Quina or Amarant, the choice is yours.
Robshi: Thanks for the review. Yeah I figured Freya would stick with Fratley and I knew how much you hated it when people crammed Amarant with Freya. I'm planning on putting Freya in the spotlight soon, and I think I know what direction I'm taking it in.