I'm not stupid. Despite what is told about me. I'm not a genius, but I'm smart enough. Smart enough to realize that something's not right. In fact, I KNOW something's not right when I look to my left and see some blond hair peeking out of my covers. The normal black hair that's usually beside me wasn't seen anywhere. I ran a hand through my mangled ginger hair in frustration. I closed my eyes in hopes that the blond woman would be my baby…my angel. I open my eyes and have been proven wrong.
Damn! Is this how it's suppose to be? I know this was a huge mistake, but how many has SHE made? I struggle to unwrap my body from the blond woman's grasp. After four attempts, I succeeded. I grabbed my pants and walked out of the room and into the kitchen.
At first my plan was to cause her pain. Now…now I'm afraid that it's my own pain that's being caused. I never wanted it to be like this. Can you really blame me though? SHE acts like I don't know all about HIM. Like I don't notice the damn longing looks that they share. Do they think I'm fucking dumb…blind even! I'm not blind! That's bullocks and they know it.
However I am blind to the fact that this relationship is unhealthy. Not only for me ,but her as well. The sad part is that we both love each other so much. So much that we are willing to tear each other's hearts out. Argue, cheat on one another, break up, then make up, have sex, and start all over again. We both know we have to let each other go. Yet, we can't because the pain of letting go is greater than the pain we put on ourselves. We need each other and we can't live without the other. I know that my heart doesn't belong to that blond in my bed. OUR bed.
It seems that I gave her something, but it wasn't my heart. I notice that, unknown to me, that I'm opening and closing cabinet doors like I'm actually looking for something. Looking up, I see that the blond is awake and fully dressed. She looks at me with beautiful blue eyes that held laughter in them. I don't want to see her eyes. I want those wonderful chocolate eyes that I love so much.
Love? Hm…I wonder after I explain all of this if love will still be easy to find. I don't know if I can continue with our cycle of love anymore. The blond walks over to me and kisses me with such passion. Then she just leaves. As simple as that. Fucking me in the night and leave me in the morning. Can't complain because I do the same thing.
I sigh deeply and go sit on the couch. Turning on the TV, I feel guilt rise in the pit of my stomach. Not soon after the blond has left, my angel walked in. Her long elbow length black hair placed in a high ponytail. Braids long forgotten in 6th year. Pain was written on her face as she took off her shoes. Her sexy body was shown clearly in her tight fitting blue jean outfit. She doesn't look at me.
On days like these she never does. She just walks straight passed me and to our bedroom, but she stops. Looks at the room in disgust and walks into the bathroom, closing the door behind her. I'm aware of the fact that she knows what happened. I heard her come home while the blond and I were going at it. She just left and hopefully went to Alicia's house, but I know she went to him.
On days like this…she always does.
A/N: Yes! I'm done with the first chapter. Hope you can find it in your heart to review.