Why? That's all I have to say. Why? Why do I do this to her? Why does she do this to me? Sometimes I wonder if its all worth this. I'm asking questions that I should know the answer to, but hell I'm still searching for them. I know she's crying in there. I hear her sob, stop, choke, and start crying again. My heart wants me to kick down that door and hold her close. Tell her that were both stupid and we need to stop.
I can't. I want to and God knows that, but I can't face her like this. My mind constantly reminds me that she does the same shit, too. It's hard to live like this, but we do it for each other. My mum always told me love is hard to find, but even harder to get rid of. Back then I laughed at her, but now I understand completely. Every sob is like someone's pushing a knife into my heart. Do you see what we put each other through! She's in there asking herself why she stays…why she does this to me and herself. Hell if she finds this out I hope she tells me because these are the same questions I ask myself. She tells herself that maybe because life is so fucked up. I nod my head in agreement. I never thought of that one. She sobs one last time and sighs. I lay my temple a against the deadly cold wall.
This has to stop before we both slip into something that's just to deep to escape from. My heart tells me that it's a little to late. Suddenly the bathroom door swings open. Her hair has clearly been tugged at, her eyes redder than blood, and her angelic face tearstained. I've never seen her like this before and it hurts. I reach out to wipe away her tears, but she steps back. Mumbled something about not knowing were my hands have been. I tell her I'm sorry. She says that she's sorry as well. I tell her I didn't mean to hurt her. She says well you did. I tell her I love her. She says she hates me. I laugh darkly and rose up of the wall. I don't believe that. If she did truly hate me than why was she her. Trying to work out something that was to damaged. She looks at me straight in the eye and boldly walks into our room slamming the door loudly. She should hate herself if anybody. I walk into the bathroom for a long shower.
The warm water does nothing to my cold skin. I feel sick to my stomach. I love her and I know she loves me, but will that be enough for them to survive all of this. If I didn't know any better I'd say that love is tearing us apart. However, I DO know better and I DO know that our love is tearing us apart. I get out of the shower and warp my towel around my waist. Once I get out I hear the sound of drawers opening and closing.
I look into our room and she her packing her things as fast as she could. My heart's pounding in my chest and my mind is going wild. We've never had a silent argument, but I know this is our last. My body is suddenly heavy and I plop down on the bed and watch her. My head screaming at me saying that this is for the best. If this is for the best…then I'll settle for what's wrong.
I call her name and she has tears coming out of her eyes. I thought we loved each other. I thought that we could make it through the storm. I thought wrong. She tells me that she has to leave well she has the strength to do it. She goes on in a sing song voice that causes me to shiver. She says that if she doesn't leave than neither of us will. That we will only hurt ourselves if we continue on any longer. But I can handle the pain. I know I can take it. She walks up to the door and opens it. I stand there with a face of a one who has lost everything and I have.
She smiles at me and picks up her bag.
"I love you George."
Then just like that she's gone. I close my eyes and slide down the wall. I fell the tears streaming down my face. I lied…I can't handle the pain.
Poohbear1990: Well how was that? I had you guys thinking it was Fred, but now you know. I'm soooo evil. Anyways review and tell me your reaction to this chapter. HAPPY NEW YEARS!