Author's note: Well, here we are at chapter 19. Already, it's about six more chapters than it was supposed to be, and still going strong…beh…I'm getting a little tired of this…I think I'll try to end it at twenty, and then maybe an epilogue.

Disclaimer: Don't own it, 'cept my characters…

Extra Rambling: So I was on this website, looking up Yuki's age, and then I got all into reading the character stuff and everything, and then I saw the people who did the voices, and all the other anime they did too, and I was like holy crap! Because it's crazy, I didn't know that Shuichi's voice guy did so many other voices that I knew…and Hiro, and EVERYONE…it was crazy…hmm…maybe I'm just crazy…or a terrible fan...well, I"m going off to the corner to sulk..enjoy!

Chapter Nineteen

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Toby restlessly prowled the hallways, contemplating Tai's reaction to his betrayal. Apparently, he had been forgiven, but…only for some reason that Toby didn't understand. Something about Tai's name being…Sheechy? It didn't make sense. None of it did, and the boy suspected that it was all a ploy so that Tai wouldn't have to think about what had happened. After all, Tai hadn't even "thought" his name was…whatever…until he'd seen Toby with that girl.

Again, Toby cursed his stupidity. He never should have told her to come over, especially after leaving the hospital that day without an explanation, when he had been about to tell Tai everything. But then, Tai had fallen over onto him, and he didn't want to hurt the small boy that he had been clutching in his hands. Although, he may have inadvertently done more damage now. Hmm…

Forming an idea, he switched directions and began padding towards Ms. Hift's office. Maybe they could have a chat about Tai's state of mind at the moment.

The blond boy chose to take the stairs; the elevator was off-limits for him, according to some stupid rule, and he didn't feel like having a big argument right now. All he wanted was to have a decent conversation with a human being, something that he'd been missing ever since Tai had gone to the hospital, and if Ms. Hift was the only person who could provide that, then so-be-it. He could stand the endless comments about not socializing with the other boys (as if they'd let him) and not fighting (as if they'd let him) if he could only prevent his brain from melting.

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Shuichi sped through the streets, blinded by his tears. It was just too much. He couldn't handle the stress anymore. The whole world was against him, and it hurt. It hurt too goddamn much, and he just wanted it to stop. Why had Yuki said that? Why hadn't he believed him?

But running felt good…well, good in the way of not feeling any pain at all, except the physical pain in his legs. It distracted him nicely, he decided, and kept going until he reached the point where he was unable to breathe, collapsing in a heap on the side walk.

From his awkward position, the boy knew that he had to somehow tell everyone who he was. As soon as he could get people on his side, he could go back to Eiri and try to talk to him again. After all, who wouldn't be shocked after seeing their lover back? Maybe it was just some temporary thing…

Getting up, slowly this time, Shuichi set off in the direction of the subway, still breathing heavily. What could he do to convince them that it was him? Maybe if he found pictures in the newspaper, or got a hold of a cd and sang along to it? No, that probably wouldn't work. He needed something bigger…like video footage or something similar.

Coming to this conclusion, Shuichi made a quick detour in a cheap video store. He knew that some time there had been a video thing released, but he didn't know if it had come out in America. But he hoped so…

"Uh, excuse me?" He desperately tried to get the attention of a scummy looking clerk who was apparently in charge of the cash register, briefly, wondering who would possibly choose employees who looked liked they might grab the money and run away…

The man turned a bleary gaze over to him, and the boy saw, to his disappointment, that his eyes were completely rimmed with red. Just what he needed right now…a stoned hobo man. He decided to try anyways.

"Um, this may be a shot in the dark, but do you have any Japanese music videos here?"

"Hmmmmmm?" Shuichi almost cried, but he really needed this, so he kept going.

"Please, Japanese music videos. You know, they come in special edition packages? Imported from Japan? Do you have any idea in hell what I'm talking about?"

"Hmmmmmm?"

"Hmmmmmm? How do you like that hmmmmmm? Can you please help me?"

The man smiled a gap-toothed grin, way too high to be offended. "Well, since you said the magic word…" Shuichi had to grip the magazine rack to restrain from climbing over the counter and throttling the man.

"Let me just check our database," he said, in a completely clear and normal voice, "okay, we have a select few artists here…who are you looking for?"

Taking a very deep breath to maintain patience, Shuichi plastered a grin on his face.

"Bad Luck or Nittle Grasper."

"Um…no, sorry, we don't have either…wait, but we do have…Gackt."

"Uh, no, that's no good…thanks for looking…" The extremely frustrated boy ran out of the shop, unfortunately colliding with a man, who was, unfortunately carrying a large bundle of flyers…that, unfortunately, flew everywhere. Unfortunatley for Shuichi, having a very strong conscience, he had to help the man. Fortunately, having a conscience was pretty useful today.

Staring up at him from about two hundred flyers was the cool half smile of his lover that was so familiar. A feeling of numbness washed over Shuichi as he saw a picture of what was advertised as "The Great Eiri Yuki's Newest Novel". It was one that he'd never seen before, but more importantly, there was a picture of Shuichi's face on it. Sure, it was airbrushed a little, to make the hair longer, and give him make up, but it was there. His mouth dropped open.

"Wha…what? Who is that?" The man who he'd collided with, still collecting up the other papers, answered him without looking up.

"It's supposed to be the main heroine of the story. In the back of the book, it claims that it's a picture of Eiri Yuki's old boyfriend, who died, but I don't believe that. I think it's a girlfriend who wanted to be on a book. Sneaky bastard…"

"That's…not a picture of a girl. That is most definitely a guy."

"Uh, no, sorry. I think I, the greatest fan of Eiri Yuki ever, would know who was on his…" The man's obnoxious sentence trailed off as he looked up to see the identical indignant face that was on the cover of the book.

"I think," Shuichi started slowly, "Being his lover, and more importantly, that being my face, I would know if I was a guy or girl." Looking up, expecting to see a chastised face, he instead saw the man staring at him in wonder.

"Y…you're Shuichi Shindou?" Said boy threw his hands in the air.

"Well at least somebody believes me…too bad it's a random person I don't even know…"

"But, you're dead."

"Oh, right, sorry, forgive me, I'm in the wrong. Obviously you are right in this situation. I'll just be going."

"No, wait! I'm sorry, I just…well, it's such a shock, like seeing a ghost or something…are you a ghost?" The man reached out a hand and tried to poke Shuichi in the side, but it was deflected with a slap.

"Get away from me you nutter!"

"Wait! Wait!" Shuichi stopped, wondering why he was listening to the man.

"Can I have your autograph? I still can't believe I didn't recognize that picture as yours…wow…" The man pulled out a copy of the book that was, strangely, sealed tightly in a plastic bag. "Will you sign this for me?"

The boy grabbed the book excitedly. This was it! This was the proof that he needed to show everybody. If there really was something in the back of the book that said who he was…skimming through excitedly, Shuichi felt his heart rate increase. Finally, his clumsy fingers flipped to the back, where, true to the crazy man's word, there was another picture of him, the real thing this time, and a description of who he was. It was a candid shot, a nice one in Shuichi's opinion, taken in a brief instant when he had been holding Eiri's hand while they walked down the street; Eiri was even half-smiling!

Without asking permission, Shuichi sped out the door, off in the direction of the hospital. As he ran, he pulled out a cell phone; there was someone he needed to talk to.

Flashback

Shuichi walked through the familiar room, picking up random items of clothing the belonged to him. A flash of silver caught his eye; digging deep into a pile of clothes that may or may not have been dirty, he unearthed Toby's cell phone, which was now vibrating in his hands.

Curiously, he opened it to see who was calling, but he didn't recognize the name or number. Eventually it stopped moving.

It occurred to Shuichi that maybe that girl's phone number would be programmed into the phone, and he could find out her name or something.

Opening the address book, and expecting to see one or two names (after all, Toby never seemed to call anyone, in fact, he barely ever used the phone, at least when Shuichi was around) he was incredibly shocked to see an enormous list of names, or girls that he didn't know.

Just as he began to scroll down, the sound of the door opening brought him back to reality, and he automatically shoved the phone into his pocket.

"Wha…oh! Tai! How come…" The blond boy's voice faltered as he saw all the stuff in Shuichi's hands.

Refusing to look at him, instead opting to stare around the room and at the ground, the small boy stood there awkwardly, caught. He had come specifically know, because he hadn't wanted to be here when Toby was here. The blond boy was supposed to be in school at the moment, so why was he here? The best thing to do was pretend he didn't care; he hadn't been caught sneaking around.

"I'm just grabbing some stuff…I'm running out of clothes at the hospital."

"Oh, okay…well…I guess…that's cool…uh…"

Shuichi walked by Toby and out the door without pausing, leaving the boy still standing there with a sad look on his face.

End Flashback

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Ms. Hift was in the middle of her meeting with Toby when the phone rang. Although she didn't usually answer the phone after being so rudely interrupted, the name on the caller ID made her pick up. How could Toby be phoning her right now, if she was in the middle of talking to him?

"Hello?"

Toby stared curiously at her; from where he was sitting, he couldn't see the name on the display, but he did know about the matron's strict values of interruption, and had been very surprised when she answered the phone.

"Well, you can talk to him yourself, he's sitting right in front of me." The blond boy wished that he had superpowers and could hear the other end of the conversation.

"Don't be so unreasonable, I'm sure he won't mind talking to you."

"…"

"Okay, just this once, but remember that I'm not your personal message lady. Goodbye."

Toby looked expectantly at her; Ms. Hift sighed impatiently, as though she was the one waiting for the important message.

"Mr. Retsuri wants you to meet him at the park nearby, he said you'd know which one, and that he'll be sitting by the stone wall, and he just wants to talk about something, he said you'd know what."

"Okay, thanks!" The boy got up to leave, but was stopped by a bony hand on his arm.

"Where do you think you're going?"

"Uh…to meet Tai?"

"Don't take that tone with me! You will stay here, and we will finish our conversation, and when I've decided that you fully understand my point, I'll let you go." Toby sighed, this might take a long time, "The first thing we have to talk about, is how you never socialize with the other boys…"

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Shuichi sped down the hospital hallways, dodging carts, chairs, stretchers, and angry nurses who were pointing at the NO RUNNING signs on the walls. As he rounded the corner before Dr. James' office, he caught the sound of the doctor's voice, and brought himself to an abrupt stop.

Making an attempt to slow down his breath, and calm his hair, Shuichi slowly walked to the doctor's door, where he had just walked back to his desk after waving goodbye to someone, and knocked.

"Tai! There you are! I've been looking for you; you're always disappearing on me."

"Hi..uh…can I come in?"

"Sure." The doctor, sensing the serious tone in Shuichi's voice, closed the door behind him, not failing to notice the book tightly clutched in the boy's hands.

For a moment, he sat there silently; Dr.James finally decided to make the first move.

"So, what do you have there Tai?" The doctor saw his squirm at his words and wondered what he'd said. He found out soon enough.

"My name isn't Tai. It's Shuichi."

"Oh, right, sorry, Shwee…chee." Said boy rolled his eyes discreetly at the pronunciation, but let it go.

"Just say Shu."

"Okay." The man was relieved to have a shortcut like that, but he still would prefer to call the boy by his real name.

"Look, I know that you don't exactly believe me, about my name and everything, but I have proof." Instead of arguing the point, Dr. James decided to examine the book that was unceremoniously shoved at him, open to the very last page. What was he supposed to be looking for?

Soon, as he began to read, it became obvious. There were several mentions of a Shuichi, who appeared to be the man who wrote the book's boyfriend. And at the bottom, Tai's so called "evidence" was staring him in the face. A boy, who honestly did look incredibly similar to Tai, smiled happily out at him. But the doctor read the caption, and it said quite clearly that this boy was dead.

"Oh, Tai…"

"Shuichi. Can't you see? I'm him! Look!" he began to get frantic, pointing insanely at the picture, "Can't you see that it's me!"

"I can see that there is an uncanny resemblance between you and this young man, but this boy isn't even alive. Even if he was, he'd be three years older than you."

"But—"

"It's okay, it's common for amnesia victims to grasp at any clues they can, for their identity. But, we already know who you are. You're Tai Retsuri."

"No I am not!" Shuichi screamed, jumping up, "I am Shindou Shuichi of Bad Luck! I'm not going through some identity crisis; I remember who I am, and I'm not fucking Tai Retsuri!"

Before Dr. James could reason with him further, the boy had kicked over his chair angrily, and fled from the room, leaving the open book in the doctor's hand for his to wonder over the alikeness of the two boys.

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Author's note: Alright! I'm in the clear! It's all good, and I've finished the story! Just one last chapter to post, and then maybe the epilogue! Woo I'm excited!

So this chapter, sorry about the short scenes, and the tons of phone calls, but I couldn't figure out any other way to do it!

R&R