Part 5: Raven It's Not a Pimple and You Can't Flirt
Disclaimer: I do not own the Teen Titans
BBxRae: Originally part of myupcoming story "Love Me Senseless" I decided this argument deserved its own story. Therefore, I give thee a bad-at-flirting Beast Boy and a somewhat humored, somewhat irritated Raven. And a chakra.In a nutshell:It's Not a Pimple and You Can't Flirt
I am taking deep, calming breaths.
I am meditating.
I am keeping my sanity.
I am holding my demon in check.
I am blocking out all sound.
I am… dealing with Beast Boy…
"And, Dude… sorry, Dudette, I was totally kicking their sorry little pixilated butts. I mean, can anyone rock as hard as I do at MMORPG total domination? Cy is about as close as it gets to my prowess but that rusty milk pail is nothing when it comes to true, gamming talent, you know? Heh, if I could get just one dollar for every ounce of mad gamming skill I've got I could be as rich as that Bruce Wayne chum from Gotham. You know, everyone thinks he's so cool 'cause he's got all that money and stuff but he's not all that special. Seriously, I could have just as many ladies swooning over me if I had that much cash in my back pocket.
"Heh, it's not like he's the most badass thing from Gotham anyways. Come on; think about it Rae… does Bruce Wayne even compare to Batman? Robin's one lucky seagull… er, don't ask why he's a seagull… but still. He got trained by like… the ultimate vigilante! I bet Rob's got the potential to be a really good MMORPG king… nothing close to me, of course, but if we could pull him away from his love-making with the punching bag I bet he could really kick butt.
"'Cause he does alright when you steal his bo-staff and shove a game station controller in his hand instead. But like I said… I still rule all. Hehe… Hey Rae, you ever played game station? I bet you could be pretty good too. I could give you some help, ya know… teach ya the basics… oh! Look! There's a fly on Cyborg's sandwich. Gee, I feel bad for the little guy. He probably doesn't even know what he's standing on. Wretched fly! Know ye not what lies beneath the surface of rye! Hehe. Gawd, how can that tin can eat slaughtered animals like that? It's got to be blasphemy or something. Hey, did I use that word right? Blasphemy… hrm… I think I heard some televangelist use it the other day…" and he just keeps going and going and going…
I look forlornly at the disregarded copy of The Agony and the Ecstasy lying on my lap. I had actually intended on reading that…
I mutter a soft oath under my breath. He doesn't hear and I don't expect him to. He is still rambling on. Dear Lord, please fix the cable… now… I ponder for a moment why it should be I that was cursed to have entered the Main Room just as the cable went out and our resident animorph declared himself bored. If this is some form of judgment, I repent with all my heart. Perhaps he cannot see that beneath the shadow of my hood I am trying desperately to tune him out. Finally, I grit my teeth. I can't take any more. An artery pulses in my forehead and I jerk my hood down to give him a more effective glare.
"Beast Boy, may I please entreat you to leave me alone! I just want to read… quietly… without distraction… Beast Boy, are you listening to me?" I growl. He is not. Rather, he is staring rather intently at my forehead. I blink rapidly and frown, crossing my eyes in an attempt to look up and see what has caught his attention so abruptly. "Beast Boy?" I say again, unsure. He shakes his head and leans forward a little, squinting at my forehead very fixedly. And then I realize: My chakra. I press my lips into an irritated line.
"Beast Boy, why, pray tell, are you staring at my chakra?" I ask. He is like some wild animal drawn to a sparkly object. It bothers me… greatly… "Beast Boy," I emphasize. He finally snaps back to reality and pulls away from my face and his thorough studying of the gemstone on my forehead. A goofy grin spreads across his face. I narrow my indigo eyes. Thickly applied, black eyeliner outlining two irate, violet slits.
"Er, sorry Rae-Rae… I just noticed your little red forehead thingy looks like a really shiny pimple." He slurs. I am appalled by the comment. "
"Wha-? Beast Boy, it's a chakra and it does not look like a pimple. And DON'T call me Rae-Rae. Don't call me Rae, for that matter." I snap. My gaze simmers a turbulent grey. He chuckles.
"Well now, don't be getting your pink panties in a bunch…" he grins boyishly. I am horrified that he would even imply…
"Pink panties, Beast Boy? Don't even go there…" I snarl. The Agony and the Ecstasy has been forgotten for the moment.
"Right, right. I'm sorry oh great Ice Princess… you only where pink panties on specific days on which you don't think they clash with your shiny zit." He cackles. I stand up in all my petite glory, seething. Without cable TV, he must be going through some deranged form of withdrawal because he is being very bold… testing my nerves…
"I don't wear… pink underwear… and it's a CHAKRA," I mutter. I must not give in to my urge to close Beast Boy in the toilet and send him on a spin cycle of doom. I try to regain composure and return to a nice monotone. But he has already gotten me irritated with his endless chatter. And now he targets my chakra as his next victim. Will he talk it off of my forehead? Or will he talk me to death first? Beast Boy bows low. I stare warily.
"Ah yes, of course… A chakra is what it is… but a pimple I see! A lovely, shining pimple… from the gods! They send their heavenly zit to grace your forehead! You and you great Care Bare nightgown presence has been kissed by Aries… or was the goddess of love Aphrodite… no matter… you have been kissed by a wondrous and awe-inspiring zit of shininess!" He chortles. I cross my arms vehemently. I will keep control… I will keep control… I will keep control…
"Hehe, what's the matter Raven, flustered? Did I fluster you? Haha! I flustered you… didn't I?" he is leering with a pathetically smug grin that looks like a massive crescent-moon on his impish face. I flex my fingers slowly. Even breaths slither in and out of my tightly pressed lips. And then I nod slowly.
"Oh yes, Beast Boy… you have sooo flustered me…" I drone sarcastically. And then…
FLLAAASH—ZAAP! A wave of telekinetic energy leaps from the floor and knocks the elfish energizer bunny over.
"Daah!" he rubs his head, scowling, and stands to his feet. He wrinkles his nose and I can't help myself. I smirk, subtly. He takes note and rolls his eyes. "Right, now you smile. Jeez…" he huffs. I shrug.
"Was I supposed to smile when you called my chakra a pimple?" I ask. He blinks, pondering. I wait, and then he comes to a conclusion.
"Erm, yes?" he offers. I snort. Not very lady-like, but I really could care less.
Beast Boy sighs. "Um… right… s-sorry, if that, um… actually bothered you. I was just bored and you weren't paying attention and so I figured…" he babbles. I stare at him, dead-pan. I bend over and daintily pluck my fallen book from the floor.
"Mhm. Well, you did succeed in getting my attention," I sigh. I begin to walk towards the sliding doors that will lead me out of the main room and hopefully to a place of more solitude. "The cable should be back up now, you know." I drone.
Beast Boy stares after me and then tilts his head to the side, childishly. "I know." He replies. I stop at that, frown, and turn back to face him.
"Then why did you insist upon continuing to pester me?" I inquire, vaguely irritated again. He blushes slightly, and I am rather surprised. He is… embarrassed… well… there's a new one.
"Erm, I didn't really intend for it to be pestering… at first…" he admits. I shrug.
"Whatever. You're free to go back to rotting your brains out in front of that oversized screen now," I comment. He blinks rapidly and then nods.
"Yup, guess so." He stands, awkward for a moment, and then retreats to a comfortable seat on the couch. He picks up the remote and begins to flip through channels. The cable has indeed been fixed. I stare at him for a little while. He scratches his tummy, disturbing the fabric of his baggy white undershirt. Beast Boy seems to have given up his uniform today, content to be a mindless couch potato in a pair of sweat pants and a T-shirt.
Finally, I mutter a soft curse to myself, roll my eyes and amble up behind him. I prop my elbows up on the back of the couch and then lean over his shoulder. He is startled and looks over at me. I look him steadily in the eye.
"Next time you try to flirt with a girl that doesn't do emotion… try asking her to a café… or something…" I drone. And then I very lightly, daintily, girlishly brush my lips over his. I pull back and retreat as abruptly as I had begun my endeavor, holding The Agony and The Ecstasy loosely between my thumb and pointer finger.
As I disappear through the sliding doors to find silence at last, Beast Boy looks like a Christmas decoration. His cheeks are fiery red in contrast to his emerald skin. I kissed him… well… there's a new one.
Author's Note: Ok, I understand there are probably some grammatical errors and things in this and I'm sorry I didn't go through for a second edit. But I wanted to post this tonight... so yeah. 1/2 hour until the premiere of Kole. Fun! Um, anyhow... I had fun writing this one, I'm not sure if it qualifies as "funny" but I just wanted something a bit lighthearted after Blue Tears and Perception. So... here ya go. Raven's shiny zit ahoy. Jeez, I must be really pathetic to come up with things like this as plot lines. But you have to admit, a Beast Boy attempting to be flirty in his own little way is cute, whether or not the concept worked in this story . :Huggles BB: Now off to section 6! Forward March!
Love, Princess Starfire of Tamaran
ps- anyone want a brownie:offers brownies, grinning like an idiot: I love chocolate...