January 8, 2006

AN: To all my readers, I'm so sorry for the late update… I just hope you continue reviewing… I didn't get much reviews in this fic as I had hoped for… TT oh well…

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From afar, the dojo looked normal and peaceful, yet Kaoru could sense that something was terribly wrong. Slowly, she approached the hall, heart beating at a thunderous pace and forcefully opened the closed doors.

Such a surprise greeted her when her eyes focused on the dojo. Such a surprise made her take a step back, such a surprise made her gasp and make tears fall voluntarily on her cheek. Such a surprise… such a gruesome surprise…

The dojo wall was bloody. The wood smashed and wrecked. With blood painted as if splashed by a deep coating of red paint. The wooden tablets lay shattered and broken on the floor. As if it wasn't enough, a trail of red liquid followed a path, and as her eyes trailed over it, her face crumpled and she let out a loud, piercing scream.

Four headless bodies were slumped at the far corner of the wall, each limb twisted and forced off. A crooked arm lay separated from a corpse and a leg was beside it. Her eyes frantically searched for the missing heads of the bodies and she slid on the floor as her mind registered the faces that rested on the bloodied floor, eyes and mouths open in a silent scream of terror and pain.

Sanosuke

Yahiko

Megumi

The other head was turned away from her and Kaoru couldn't stop herself from approaching the torn part and knowing who it was.

Soujirou.

Before she could even emit a gasp, she felt light quick footsteps behind her and as she turned around, shock registered on her blank mind.

There behind her back was Kenshin… no… Battousai….

His hair was tied up in a high ponytail and he wore a black gi, instead of a magenta one. He would have looked handsome, beautiful still; but his clothes were torn and bloody. His eyes were ablaze, promising death and terror. And when he spoke, Kaoru was paralyzed, fear gripping her senses.

"I killed them all."

It was too much.

Her friends…

Soujirou…

Blood…

Death….

Battousai….

Kenshin…

Kaoru screamed.

Soujirou was inside his room, mentally battling with himself and trying to decipher the mixed emotions he held for Kaoru when her shrill scream pierced his mind. At once, he was at his toes, the speed of the tenken and his personal worry and fear for her well being making him arrive at her door in just mere seconds. Slamming the door open, he found her curled in a tight ball, shivering, eyes blank and pained tears falling.

She's dreaming… He realized.

I have to wake her now! Or else… she might very well lose her sanity…

Quickly rushing to her side, he shook her once, twice, then forcefully, calling out her name with an edge of panic, fear and desperation in his voice.

He must have been successful for Kaoru woke up with a start, a shrill scream erupting from her throat. At first, her mind went blank, blank, blank, until it registered that Soujirou was kneeling in front of her, and suddenly, she had launched herself towards the poor surprised man locking her arms around him in a nearly deathly grip.

To say that he was surprised would underestimate the shock that flashed through his senses. He was comfortable and uncomfortable. Comfortable because he held her in his arms and it seemed like the most natural thing he could do, and uncomfortable because, scarcely after a day they met, he had touched her more than what propriety allows. She seemed not to mind though, merely hugged him tighter, all the while muttering incoherent words. Some he could understand, some he could not.

"Ssshhh… Kaoru…. It's only a dream…" he whispered unconsciously tightening his grasp on her.

"Only a dream… only a dream…" She repeated. "You're alive…you're alive…." A slender hand crept to ghost on his face as she shuddered, memories of her nightmare flashing once again.

Alive…"What happened?" he asked

She shook her head. Clutching him, "He killed my friends… he killed you…"she almost screamed, once again in a fit of hysterics.

"Wh-who? Battousai?' he was uncertain how to ask the question.

"Yes… yes! He killed my family… he killed Yahiko… Sanosuke…Megumi… you Seta-san!" her voice was almost garbled by her sobs and if he had not been listening carefully, he would have missed his name that ended her sentence.

"Kao—Kamiya-san… "He started, his tongue, again slipping, "It's only a dream and Himura didn't really kill your friends… they're all here… and it should come with no surprise that he should kill me. After all, I was an enemy before." He concluded seriously.

"But you're my friend!" she exclaimed, tears running freely down her cheeks.

"M-me? A-a friend? D-Do you think of me as a friend Kamiya-san?" he asked uncertainty and surprise clearly shown on his voice.

"OF COURSE!" vehemently she almost screeched.

Soujirou was taken aback. A friend? He was a friend in her eyes? Now that was a surprise. Nevertheless, he continued soothing her, calming her until her sobs died down. It was just until her head rested on his shoulders and her cries stopped did Soujirou realize how awkward their situation was. So rising on his feet, he was about to greet her again goodnight, when a hand swept to hold tightly on the hem of his hakama.

"Matte… Matte-yo Seta-san…"

Surprised brown eyes turned to focus on deep blue ones.

"Yes Kamiya-san?"

She released his pant leg, her hands clasping with one another fiddling in a nervous motion.

"I… well… never mind…" she shyly said.

Smiling at her, he nodded before disappearing in the corridor and walking towards his room.

She smiled to his retreating figure. Soujirou… what is it in you? She was oddly comforted by his presence and she was glad it had been his soothing voice that had drawn her out from her nightmare and not Yahiko's annoyed sleepy one in its stead.

Her heart was all but racing as she thought of him. The strange weird feelings she had felt for Kenshin rushing back for Soujirou. She couldn't understand herself, she was supposed to hate him for whatever he has done to Kenshin in the past, not be glad with his presence. She was too much of a confused being to even think of going to sleep, so she got up, dressed herself with a thick robe and went to the kitchen to brew some tea. Maybe Seta-san wouldn't mind a bit of company…

K
N
K

Truly, the night held so many unexpected if not pleasant events for Seta Soujirou. He had the chance to thank Kaoru, Comfort her, embrace her, and then comfort her once again. And as he heard her shy knockings on his door, as he was about to prepare for bed, Soujirou could almost believe that the gods were truly playing on his side now.

He opened the door to find her holding a tray of teas for two in her hands.

"I'm sorry… But I couldn't sleep… So I brought tea… would you mind sharing it with me?" she asked, her shyness drawn in her features.

"Of course I won't mind."

"Are you sure? It's a bit late… I understand if you would want to rest." She murmured.

Shaking his head in negation, he sheepishly said. "I couldn't sleep either…" Of course… A man such bloody as me couldn't and wouldn't sleep for the rest of my damned life…

Nodding her head, a true smile blossoming on her lips, Soujirou's breath caught as she led him to the porch.

The couple settled with only teacups and the kettle a space between them.

"Thank you Seta-san." She started.

"Kamiya-san… Call me Soujirou… Seta-san is much too formal for me." He smiled teasingly.

His smile was mirrored on her lips and she replied, "Well then call me Kaoru. Seta- I mean Soujirou."

Nodding his brown head, the couple found themselves like that for the whole evening, throwing questions, sharing hidden glances, expressing their opinions, opening about their respective pasts.

So… that was why he was in Shishio's side. She realized.

So… that was why Himura's leaving had affected her too much…"he thought, envy trailing behind him.

"Kaoru…?" he asked

"Hai?"

Taking her hand and covering it with his, he shyly said, all the while blushing till the deep roots of his hair, "Take Care… of yourself and your family. When I'm gone, I couldn't watch over you." He murmured.

When I'm gone, I couldn't watch over you. As the thought dawned to her, she gasped in realization and she faced him, distress written in her face. "Soujirou… don't leave! Onegai…"she whispered.

"But your friends… Sanosuke… Himura…" he trailed off.

She wiped the tear that had somewhat fallen on her face. "But Soujirou, you can't leave!"

"Why not?"

"Be-because, you… you have no home anymore!" she exclaimed, trying to convince him not to leave.

"I've survived for three years without a home…" he started, a smile blossoming on his lips.

She pouted cutely and argued, "I… but Sou-chan…please don't leave…you don't have food… or anything!" she argued, her reasons sounding silly.

Soujirou was very much enjoying the situation himself. He was willing to wait to know how far she wanted him to stay. And Kaoru could tell this, and it all the more allowed her anger to bubble in the surface.

"I can eat berries and fruits in the woods."

"But there are wild animals out there!"

"Kaoru, they can't hurt me, tenken remember?"

"How about the weather?"

"I can handle it."

"But Soujirou!" she huffed, "If you're gone, there'll be no one to tease me, or smile at me, or protect me." She murmured, a blush spreading on her face,

"Sanosuke could do that."

"But not as good as you." She halted him abruptly.

Now he faced a dead end. That's probably right. And besides, why argue? He really did after all want to stay. He silenced for a minute or two, fondly watching her twist her hands in a nervous gesture. Finally, he spoke,

"Fine… I'd stay Kaoru… only because you want me to. But just tell me if you don't want me anymore and I'll kick myself out of this dojo." He joked.

She giggled, and both settled themselves in a peaceful silence.

"Sou-chan?"

"Hai Kaoru?"

She smiled "You're a genius in what you do."

"What I do? Hmm... Kaoru… what are you talking about?" he tried to muster a stern voice but it showed affection instead.

She grinned. "You're a master in making other people smile, cheering them up, and hiding your true emotions."

The smile he had on his lips vanished in all but a moment. "Whatever do you mean Kaoru?"

She shook her head, smile turning wistful. "You don't have to hide your loneliness and guilt from me Sou-chan. I can see through your mask. It's okay… You don't have to hide it from me… friend remember?" she smiled, eyes showing concern

His forced smile faltered. "Never in my life… had I heard someone talk to me like that…" he whispered, head bent and eyes filling with unspoken loneliness.

She neared him and placed her hand atop his. " Well, you're the only person who had made me smile again, made me sit with the others during dinnertime, made me realize my emotions and made me understand that it is time to move on, after Kenshin left…. I figured it's time to return the favor…" she added.

He was surprised. Surprised that his stay made an effect so changing in her life. But he knew it was stopped there. She loves Himura-san. He's probably perfect for her. Give me a reason why she should fall for you.

But instead of talking about his discontentment, he faced her, his eyes shadowed by his hair.

"I know you still hurt Kaoru… about Himura… I just hope… I could make you smile again… A true smile… not with sadness and grief…I hope…"

Her face was shining when she looked at him, the endless sapphire pools, "Someday I would… And someday, maybe you could smile for me… a genuine one… one filled not with guilt and loneliness but of content and happiness…" she bowed her head down, then lifted it up to gaze at his brown eyes, face filled with excitement and determination.

"Maybe, we could help each other Sou-chan!"

He looked at her incredulously, "How?"

"We could make each other happy!" she replied enthusiastically.

You already made me happy. "Yare… yare… we will see Kaoru…"

She nodded and sighed, looking up and gazing at the sat lit canopy above their heads.

Soujirou was not so sure on what time he carried her sleeping form to her room, but it must have been dawn, for his eyelids felt heavy and droopy. Going back to his room, he settled himself on the futon, wanting to catch even a few hours of lost sleep.

TBc…

Hmmm, a bit mushy there aint it?

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