He was my manager, my friend, my slave, my admirer, my god… my love.
And now, he's gone.
For how long, I do not know.
All I know is that I was the one who drove him away… and now I must pay the heavy, heavy price.
Why oh why, did I do the things I did, say the things I said, when I knew that they would surely break his kind, caring heart? Why did I suddenly decide that he was not worth my time and effort to keep? Why did I cruelly push him away, even as he hesitated in the final moments?
I guess I took him for granted.
I thought that he would always be by my side, always be ready to spring into action at my every whim, always be ready to study with me, always be ready to stand by me… always be ready to wait for me… until one day, I was ready to reciprocate his love.
Actually, he was.
He was ready to give up anything in the world for me, to forever be by my side, supporting me in my most difficult times and celebrating with me at my happiest. He always stood by the sidelines whenever I didn't need him, but was always ready to come to my side at the slightest sign of trouble. I guess that I had gone on for so long with his comforting presence always by my side, and I was so protected, that eventually I began to take him for granted.
It was my own foolishness, that made me believe he was redundant, just one of the many partners would come and go in my life. Not for a second I took him seriously, for I merely thought of him as a stopgap measure until I found someone more "suitable"
Little did I know, that that someone had already come... and would soon be gone…
I thought that he was poor - that he was stupid, and that he was embarrassing, especially when he tried to approach me in the university grounds. After I yelled at him for embarrassing me right in front of my friends, he backed off and kept his distance whenever he was in public. He did this for me, stayed in the shadows, even when he had every right to be seen with me.
One day, he unwittingly set me off, and I flew into a rage, telling him to stay away from me and disappear forever, for I never wanted to see him again.
Normally, this wouldn't be very serious, and after a few days we would be back again.
But that time, I was angry. And as usual, I was angry over trivial matters that were most definitely not his fault.
I ignored him for sometime, and soon, he was gone.
Leaving behind only a letter addressed to me, containing his regret and apologies. Not a single trace remained of his stay in that room.
All that was left behind, was a lingering aura of sadness and regret.