The last forty-five minutes of Clark's life suddenly comes screaming back to him. A barrage of images from Chloe and Lois wrestling in the dirt to the most current image, little pink hearts, swarm into his brain pan.
Beyond the hoopin' and hollerin' crowd Clark can barely make out Jonathan picking Chloe off of the ground. His mind's still a little fuzzy, but he can't quite remember how Chloe got thrown to the ground.
Lois, on the other hand, he remembers exactly how she got to the ground. He also knows, in no uncertain terms, how she feels about it. His memory doesn't have to work at all, he can see it in her pulsating red eyes. That rage swirling in her eyes almost hypnotizes Clark, freezing him in his spot, unable to move as Lois picks herself off of the ground and plants her two feet in a definite fighting stance.
Her arm crooks back slowly with no intention of a playful punch to Clark's arm. This punch will most certainly be aimed at his head.
"Hold on there, Peaches," the auctioneer cradles her drawn back fist and tries a soothing tone, "we don't need no lover's spat up here on the stage."
"Lover's spat!" Lois asks incredulously.
"Yeah, most these folks here get that at home for free, it ain't gonna help sell this here bike," he whispers desperately, worried he may lose his huge sale. "Why don't ya'll get back to lockin' lips, the crowd sure ate that up!"
"Kiss him?" Lois asks unbelieving. But, the crowd didn't hear the anger in her voice, but rather thought she was still playing to the crowd.
"Kiss him again!" several voices scream.
"You want me to kiss him, again?" Lois asks, her fury growing with each passing moment.
"Go on! Kiss the boy!" more catcalls come from the audience.
Clark doesn't know how to react, all he knows is that he wants off of that stage, and wants his pants back. He looks out over the crowd for his father to come save him, but Jonathan is too busy attending to Chloe, who has a perfectly round welt on her forehead. Clark lifts his leg up, trying to unsaddle the bike, but Lois kicks his foot down keeping him in place.
"You want me to? Really? Is this what you want?" she wraps her fingers around the scruff of his black T-shirt and pulls him in close for an angry kiss.
The crowd screams in approval.
Her lips hang precipitously close to Clark's as she breathes angrily, "Where the hell is that bracelet, Doughboy?"
Clark blinks his eyes to keep his head from swimming, "I don't know, it was down my pants..." he trails off.
"You don't have your pants anymore," Lois notices.
"Do you really think I'd keep it from you anymore?" Clark asks, not prepared for how far Lois is willing to go.
"You want to take this game to its end, fine, let's play," Lois twists her wrist holding Clark's shirt tighter to keep him from wriggling loose, and dives her free hand into Clark pink hearts boxers.
The crowd goes wild, this show is better than the tractor pull.
"Whoa!" the auctioneer cautions, "let's keep this as family friendly as possible, young folks!"
Chloe rubs the sore welt on her forehead and catches a brief glimpse of Lois on stage with her hand down Clark's shorts. "How hard did I get hit?" she asks.
"Are you feeling alright, Chloe?" Jonathan holds his arms behind her in case she falls again.
"No, I don't think I am," Chloe says, blinking bewildered eyes at the stage, startled out of her whine by a shrill voice silencing the entire crowd.
"Claaaarrrrkk!" Martha screams in her patented maternal tone.
Lois turns meekly towards Martha, slipping her hand out of Clark's shorts. "Hi, Mrs. Kent."
"Mom!" Clark shrinks onto the bike trying to hide his near-nakedness.
"Party's over," the auctioneer notices. "Sold! For twenty thousand to the young lady down front!" he screams to a completely quiet crowd. The young lady doesn't remember bidding for the bike, only for Clark.
"Does anyone else hear bells ringing?" Chloe asks, Martha's ear piercing scream adding to her pounding migraine.
Martha's nowhere near Chloe to apologize, she's bounded up on stage and tries her best to block Clark with her body.
"What are you doing, Lois?" Martha asks unbelieving. The crowd dissipates, not interested in the scene anymore.
"Getting back what's mine, Mrs. Kent," Lois spurts off only tasting her words after she says them.
"Yours!" Martha almost faints.
"He took the bracelet I was going to give Chloe as a gift," Lois tries to recover.
"You mean this one?" Jonathan holds up the chain with no stone. "I'm sorry, Lois, I think I accidentally cracked the stone."
"You bought me a bracelet at a flea market?" Chloe asks, wondering just how much worse this day can get.
"It's vintage," Lois insists, hoping to not so cheap. "And it was supposed to be a surprise," she adds, glaring over at Clark.
"The little red stone," Jonathan practically winks to Martha.
Martha immediately understands what Jonathan is hinting at, but can't quite understand, "What does that have to do with Lois?"
"Clark just pushed the wrong buttons. You know how boys are," Jonathan smiles a familiar grin he uses far too often to cover up the oddities that surround his family.
"That's it? 'You know how boys are' and that's it?" Lois asks, her rage having barely subsided. "And let this be known, there are no buttons anywhere on me for Clark to push. Got it?"
Jonathan nods, a little scared of the raging young girl.
"For being the supposed super parents, shouldn't you be punishing him?" Lois asks.
"I'd prefer clothing him at this point," Martha answers.
"He should be flogged, or whatever it is you farm parents do to their kids!" Lois yells. "I'm out five bucks for that bracelet!"
"Five bucks?" Chloe asks, offended at her value to her cousin.
"Money has been slim!" Lois barks.
Martha cradles Clark and begins moving him off of the stage.
"Or maybe you should send him to his room without supper, not that it looks like you've ever deprived him of food judging by the size of him!" Lois again doesn't taste her words.
"The size of him!" Chloe practically gasps.
Martha pushes Clark out of earshot, shooting a shocked face over her shoulder at Lois. Jonathan can't even turn to face her.
"I didn't mean," Lois tries to cover up, "Clark junior, but I've had my arms around smaller boys." Lois suddenly realizes there's still a bit of an audience. "I want my five bucks back!"