Martha drops the freshly dismembered chicken into the fryer. Grabbing her tongs, she gently rolls the chicken in the boiling oil.
Lois turns the heat down under the boiling pot of potatoes.
"Okay, what do I do now?" Lois asks, genuinely perplexed at how to mash potatoes.
Martha maneuvers Lois away from her food, "Why don't you set the table for me, honey?"
Lois happily complies.
"Chloe, honey, do you mind draining the water off that pot?" Martha asks, her hands a little full with the extra couple mouths to feed.
"What?" Chloe asks, the ringing in her ears and pounding in her head still altering her reaction time.
"Never mind," Martha says, managing to do the ten tasks with her two hands.
"Lois is the more domestic one in the family," Chloe says, finally catching up with the conversation.
"Well, why don't you put the glasses on the table then, okay?" Martha says, opening up the cupboard for Chloe.
Clark sulks up at the top of the stairs only happy to be fully clothed again, his mother's call still ringing in his ear.
"Clark! Johnathan! Dinner!" Martha calls again.
Slowly creeping down the stairs, Clark peers around the corner into the kitchen and sees both Lois and Chloe sitting at the table. Chloe snacks on a bowl of peanuts, Lois drums her fingers angrily on the table. He shrinks two steps back up the stairs.
"Claaarrk! Dinner! Johnathan!" Martha calls yet again, slightly annoyed.
"Come on, Clark. Supper's on," Johnathan appears at the head of the stairs behind Clark.
"I'm not..." Clark begins.
Johnathan pushes Clark down the stairs, somewhat to get the boy to dinner, but mostly to get him out of the way so Jonathan can have his own dinner.
"Let's move it!" Johnathan barrels down the stairs and pushes Clark into the kitchen.
"Fried Chicken!" Johnathan kisses his wife on the cheek, appreciating her cooking. He maneuvers around the crowded table bumping Chloe's arm, knoking the peanut she was twiddling in her fingers to the ground. Jonathan's boot smashes down on the peanut.
"Oops, sorry Chloe. I stepped on your peanut," Jonathan says, patting her on her shoulder.
Putting his fingers in his mouth, he lets out a whistle, summoning Shelby to his side.
"Shelby, clean this peanut off the ground, will ya girl?" he says, rubbing the scruff of her neck.
Like a dutiful servant, Shelby licks the floor clean, relishing the peanutty goodness shell and all.
Clark allows his eyes to dawdle a bit as he awkwardly looks over to Lois and Chloe sitting at the table. Whatever conversation they were having has abruptly stopped. He tries to break the ice by smiling. Lois glares back harshly, so much so that Clark winces in fear.
Chloe rubs her forehead. When she pulls her hand away, Clark gets a good look at the purple welt that's grown there. The sight of it makes him jump back further.
"What? Is it bad?" Chloe asks.
"No, honey. It's barely noticeable," Martha reassures.
"I want to look at it. Let me see your compact," Chloe asks, reaching out to Lois.
"My purse is upstairs," Lois lies, kicking her purse from her feet to under the table.
Chloe bites her bottom lip, determined to get a look at it.
"Clark, sit down so we can eat," Martha demands.
"Yeah, Clark," Lois kicks out the chair next to her, "Have a seat."
Picking up a spoon, Chloe tries to see her reflection in the back of it. Lois flicks it out of her hand.
"Oops, sorry about that," Lois apologizes with very little sincerity.
Clark tentaively pulls out the chair between Chloe and Lois. Lois smiles wider than the cat who ate the canary.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt dinner," Lex says from behind the screen door.
"Lex!" Clark almost screams like a little girl, never happier to see his friend. "What are you," Clark begins but quickly changes his thought mid-sentence, "Stay for dinner!"
Clark takes one step to the door, swings it open and pulls Lex inside.
"I don't want to impose on you mother, Clark," Lex politely smiles.
"No, there's plenty, isn't there, Mom?" Clark asks, not caring that he is imposing on his mother.
"Sure, Lex," Martha offers, frantically looking around her kitchen for another dish to pad her dinner for another guest.
"Sit here, Lex," Clark posiitions Lex behind the chair Lois has planned for Clark.
"Thanks, Clark," Lex awkwardly says, unsure of why his friend is pulling him around the room like a ragdoll.
Martha finds her extra side dish. She pulls a bowl from the cupboard and fills it with a bundle of her fresh peaches. She spins around, hoping to cover the fact that his is a last minute add on to her meal, and places the bowl in the center of the table.
Lex begins to take his seat, noticing the young ladies to either side of him.
"Chloe," Lex acknowledges, then turns to Lois, but is momentarily distracted by Martha's bowl of peaches, "Oh, peaches," he remarks.
Lois kicks the chair out from under him just as he is sitting down, assuming he was addressing her.
Lex's butt is introduced to the Kent's kitchen floor rather abruptly.
"Lois!" Clark exclaims.
"Oops!" she replies smugly, but after noticing the bowl of peaches on the table, she offers a far more knowing, "oh, oops," she cringes.
Lex sits on the floor, unsure, or unwilling, to attempt to sit in the chair again.
While on the ground, Chloe peers at the top of his smooth head to try and see her forehead in the reflection.
"Let me help you," Clark offers while yanking Lex off of the floor and planting him squarely into his chair.
Lex turns to Chloe who is awkwardly staring at his head. Lois peers around the young billionaire, trying to clue her cousin in to the fact she's being terribly rude.
"Is there something I can do for you, Chloe?" Lex just has to ask.
As if breaking out of a trance, Chloe realizes what she's doing, flashing a toothy grin. On the other side of Lex, Lois rolls her eyes.
Jonathan sits down at the head of the table, "Let's eat, shall we?" He spoons out a large helping of mashed potatoes, dabbing them down to his plate. He goes for a second spoonful, but sees Martha eyeing him. Getting the hint he passes them along.
Lex takes a sliced peach and then passes the bowl to Lois.
"Would you like some peaches, Lois" he offers.
Jonathan, unable to contain himself, bursts out laughing, well aware of what people from his neck of the woods refer to as peaches.
At this moment, Clark is extremely thankful Lois has never developed heat vision, or Lex and his father would surely be dead.
Martha coughs, hoping to signal to her husband that he needs to cool it.
Trying to be a gracious host, despite the chaos rampant in the room, Martha picks up the plate of chicken, ready to serve her bewildered guest. "Can I get you a piece, Lex?"
Jonathan, trying desperatly to obey his wife, puts his fist to his mouth, hoping to hold in his laughter.
"A breast?" Lex says sheepishly, two words that cause Lois' knuckles to crack, and Jonathan's damn to break. Banging his hand against the table he releases a belly laugh, no longer able to hold in his amusement.
Clark cringes, waiting to see who Lois is going to take out first, his keen eyes seeing her fork being squeezed in her hand like a weapon.
Lex takes the piece of chicken from Martha, not sure what he said, but well aware it was a hot button.
Trying to smooth over the chaotic freight train that seems to running through her kitchen full steam, Martha pushes the bowl of potatoes at Lex, saying "they might need a pinch of salt."
Reaching across the table and scooping three heaping spoonfuls of mashed potatoes on his plate, Martha treats Lex like a child, needing to feel like she has some control of the situation.
Returning to her chair, she places the bowl down, snapping her fingers sharply to get Chloe's attention. "Lex needs salt."
Chloe's eyes widen, instantly realizing the salt shaker might be just the reflective surface she needs to see her battle wound. Picking up the shaker she sees the mirror like silver is obscured by a few granuals clinging to the lid. Working for her own gain, she licks the lid clean, paying no regard to Martha's jaw that just hit the floor.
Squinting her eyes, she peers into the hole ridden lid, before deflating and handing the salt to Lex at her side.
Using two fingers, Lex takes the shaker, placing it on the table far away from his plate.
Lois lets her eyes move from Lex, to Clark to Jonathan, her jaw clenching as her knuckles whiten around the fork. About to pounce, she feels a tickling at her legs. She turns slowly to Lex and glares.
"Keep your hands where I can see them, Richie Rich," Lois sneers.
Lex throws his hands up plastering the most innocent look he can across his own face.
Lois still feels the tickling. Pushing back from the table she peers down to see Chloe reaching down under the table, stretching her hand out for Lois's purse.
"Chloe!" Lois calls, startling Chloe enough to make her fall out of her chair, landing fully under the table. "What are you doing down there?" Lois asks.
"I found your purse!" Chloe exclaims, "I need your compact."
Chloe begins to crawl out from under the table. She loses her balance and has to grab on to something to keep from falling over. That something happens to be Lex's crotch.
Lex tries to jump back, but Chloe has quite the grip, holding so hard that Lex squeals.
"Getting a little fresh with my cousin, aren't you?" Lois asks.
"I didn't...she..." Lex stammers.
"What's the matter, a little jealous?" Clark asks, delighting for a moment that Lois's anger has been defelcted. Unfortuenately for him, it was a tactical misfire.
Lois retightens her grip around the fork, staring down Clark. Clark panics and decides to redierect her anger again.
"Dad laughed at your melons!" Clark says pointing down to Jonathan.
"Melons?" Lois asks angrily.
"You know, your peaches," Clark corrects himself.
"Peaches?" Lois asks more angrily.
"Do you mean her rack?" Lex asks, struggling to help Chloe up from under the table.
"I think he means hooters," Jonathan adds.
Chloe's holding on to Lex's pants pockets to pull herself up. Slipping, her face dives right into Lex's crotch. Lex jumps back, his arms swinging wildly, one smacking Lois across the face. Startled, she instictively dives the fork towards her attacker, burying the four prongs squarely into Lex's thigh.
"Jesus!" Lex screams in pain.
"Jesus!" Chloe exclaims, the compact pointed at the large bruise on her forehead. "I have a melon on my head!"
"Let's not start that again!" Martha barks, rounding the table to tend to Lex. She glares back to Clark and Jonathan who are awkwardly standing next to eachother. Sheepishly they point accusatory fingers at each other.
Clark and Jonathan help Lex limp towards the passenger's side of the Kent's truck. Athick white maxi pad is taped to his bare thigh, his pants having been cut off high enough to reveal his boxers.
"I'm sorry I didn't have any bandages," Martha says, swatting the two girls who are about to die laughing. "That should be absorbant enough to get you there," she reassures him.
"Better hope you're not having a heavy day there, stud," Lois says grinning.
Lex takes a look back at the two young cousins standing on the porch.
"Watch yourself, those two are wild ones," Lex warns.
"I can handle it," Clark reassures, beat red with embarassment.
"Don't worry Lex. Smallville Medical Center will patch you up in a jiff," Jonathan says.
"Yeah, with as much as you're in there, Dad, they should offer frequent flyer miles or something," Clark jokes.
Lex smiles, happy that Clark finds levity in the situation. Clark shuts the door so his dad can pull away.
The back tires spin in the driveway, kicking up gravel. A few pebbles hit Clark's boot, which he looks down at. Next to his boot, is a small, glowing red stone.
"Coming, Smallville?" Lois asks from the porch, Martha and Chloe rounding the door into the house.
Clark looks down at the stone, then back up at Lois.
He smiles.
The end?