MWPP: Through Moony's Eyes
What Are You Wearing!
"No Zonkos," Sirius said, miserably.
"No Honeydukes," Peter continued, in the same tone.
"No Three Broomsticks," James added.
"Of course, our detention happens to be the first trip to Hogsmead," Remus said, bitterly.
"Don't remind me," Sirius groaned." I was looking forward to this day since I heard about Zonkos." The four boys were sitting in Filch's office, waiting for their punishment. The door of the room opened to reveal a very upset Filch.
"I have to stay here, at Hogwarts, with you four brats instead of being up at Hogsmead with the civilized students," Filch spat. " Argus, I need you to stay at Hogwarts this trip, so that someone can look after Sirius, James, Remus, and Peter," Filch said, imitating McGonagall's voice. "If Dumbledore let me I'd..."
"We know, we know, hang us by our thumbs," Sirius said automatically. "I have an idea. Why don't we all just forget this little detention and all of us can go to Hogsmead." Sirius offered.
"Even if I have to stay down here at the castle to look after you, it's always pleasant seeing the students miserable." Filch's mouth turned into an evil smile. "You four will be polishing the trophies."
"If we finish early then can we –" James was cut off.
"No," Filch said sharply. "No matter what time you're finished, NO HOGSMEAD. Now, I have to go patrol the corridors making sure you four don't escape out of the castle." And with that, Filch stormed out of his office, Mrs. Norris by his side, and slamming the door behind him.
"Well I suppose we better head off to the trophy case," Remus said with a defeated look. The boys trudged up a few flights of stairs until they arrived at the trophy room. Glittering gold and silver filled the cabinet. Each of the boys grabbed a trophy to spit shine which was accompanied by Sirius's grumblings.
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"There, we're done," James stated. Indeed, all of the 627 trophies gleamed and sparkled.
"It's only noon," Remus said, looking at his watch.
"I want to go to Hogsmead!" Sirius whined.
"You heard Filch, he's patrolling, we have no way to leave. Even with James's invisibility cloak, we can't fit all of us under there," Remus reminded them.
"Well Peter doesn't have to go does he?" Sirius joked, as James smacked him in the back of the head. Peter scowled. "I was just kidding!"
"Come on, let's walk around the castle. I don't want to stay in the trophy room all day," James said. The other three agreed, and they all walked out of the room.
"There has got to be someway to get out of this castle other than the obvious exits," Sirius said.
"Of course there is," Remus said. "There are many secret passage ways, but no one knows where they are. Not even Dumbledore." Remus added, seeing Sirius's hopeful face.
"Well if anyone can find one, we can!" Sirius exclaimed. Remus looked doubtful.
"Have you ever noticed how gigantic this castle is?" Remus remarked. "I mean, we could probably find one eventually, but today?"
"Sirius," James sighed. "Remus is right, there's no way we're getting to Hogsmead," James said.
"No...James," Sirius said, pleading with him. "Come on, don't you want to go to Hogsmead?"
"You know we all do, Sirius. But..." James trailed off and shook his head. Sirius, defeated, slumped onto a statue of a one eyed witch behind him. Without warning, the statue gave way to reveal a tunnel.
"You have got to be kidding me," Remus said, shocked. Sirius's face filled up with happiness.
"I told you we could find one!" Sirius said, excitedly.
"But Sirius...everyone up there knows we're supposed to be in detention. Not to mention that McGonagall is up there. We'd get caught for sure. Besides, how do you know this," Remus motioned to the tunnel behind him. "even leads to Hogsmead?
"I can just feel it."
"You can feel it," Remus said, unconvinced.
"Sirius, that still doesn't answer our 'getting caught problem',"James said.
"I have an idea.." Sirius said, smiling.
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"No way," Remus said, shaking his head while looking at himself in the boy's dormitory's mirror.
"I'm siding with Remus," Peter said, agreeing.
"But, no one would recognize us!" Sirius exclaimed. "We wouldn't get caught!"
"He does have a point Remus," James said. "Nobody would ever suspect us looking like this."
"The glasses have to go though James, it'll give you away." Sirius said, as James removed his glasses. "And besides, we have got to be some of the HOTTEST looking girls in Hogwarts!" Sirius observed.
"But...but," Remus stuttered. "Come on, Sirius. Goodness sakes, I have long hair!" Remus said, holding up his waist length, crimson hair, in his hand and looking at it in disgust. Sirius's "brilliant" idea included, raiding the girl's dormitories for muggle looking clothes and makeup.
"I don't understand how girls can wake up, get dressed into this stuff, put on all this make up, do their hair, and still manage to get to class on time." James said, while trying to tie his, now shoulder length, jet black hair, into a ponytail.
"Sirius, I'm wearing a dress," Peter whined, stressing the word dress. Peter was examining his crimson sun dress, while trying desperately to keep his long blonde hair out of his eyes.
"How long is our hair going to be long, our legs going to be smooth, and our chests...well...girl like?" Remus asked. James picked up a bottle that was labeled Hair Growth in 10 Seconds and another bottle labeled Have a Bigger Chest in Only 15 Seconds and read the labels on the back.
"3 hours, however our legs will be smooth until the hair grows back."
"Why do we always go along with Sirius's brilliant ideas?" Remus asked.
"Does that mean you're going along with it?" Sirius asked, hopefully.
"I suppose. I'd rather be a girl at Hogsmead then a girl stuck here."
So, the decision was made. The four boys trooped out the room, James coming out first, wearing jeans and a pink shirt, with his hair tied back in a ponytail, and a bit of eyeliner and mascara. Sirius, strutted out next, with wavy light brown hair, wearing a black skirt and a red top. Sirius went all out on himself, including the pounds of makeup and the painted nails. Peter slumped out of the room after Sirius. Peter, with his long blonde hair and red sun dress. Last, came Remus, wearing jeans, a light blue top, and a scowl on his face.
"Now," Sirius said, in a high pitched voice. "James, you are now Jamie, Peter, you are Penelope, Remus, you are Rachel, and I am Sophie. Remember, we're not from Hogwarts, we're just here on vacation...or make up some other lie." Remus and Peter reluctantly nodded.
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"You know, that shirt goes great with your eyes, Sophie," James commented in his high pitched voice.
"Never again, do I want to hear you say that," Remus said. The four boys were finding their way through the tunnel that they found only an hour before.
"Come on, Rachel," Sirius said," have a bit of fun. When's the next time you're going to be a girl?"
"Never," Remus said briskly. The tunnel eventually came to an end, but no Hogsmead was in sight. "Well, this figures."
"Ow, " James said, stumbling into the wall he couldn't see because he was without his glasses. Sirius looked at him and laughed, then turned back to Remus.
"Rachel, Rachel, Rachel," Sirius tsk'd. "How quickly you give up. I'm betting the entrance is right above us," Sirius said, abandoning his high pitched voice. Sure enough, when Sirius pressed up on the ceiling , it gave way.
"How did you know that?" Remus asked, amazed.
"I'm Sophie remember? And, I don't know. I told you, I could feel it." Remus rolled his eyes.
"Sorry, my dear Sophie," Remus said, in a girly voice of his own.
"Now you're getting into the spirit!" James exclaimed. "Let's get out of here and explore Hogsmead." The four boys, or young ladies, hurled themselves onto the floor above, and found themselves in the basement of Honey dukes sweet shop.
"Hurry up, we'll look too suspicious being down here," whispered Remus. They snuck up the stairs and arrived in the biggest sweet shop they had ever seen.
"Thank goodness I brought my galleons," Sirius said, putting on his girly act. The other three boys laughed nervously. Remus inched towards the chocolate frogs, but because of the bad financial state he and his family was in, he couldn't buy many. Before he knew it, he was tugged down the street to Zonkos joke shop. James's and Sirius's eyes were staring greedily at the shelves packed with everything from dungbombs to love potions.
"Think of all the havoc that could happen if Potter or Black ever got a hold of a love potion," said an all-too-familiar voice. Sure enough, when Remus turned around he saw the ruby hair that could only belong to Lily Evans. James obviously heard he voice too, because in a split second he was by her side.
"Excuse me, but did you just say something about James Potter?" James asked in a dainty voice.
"Why, yes I did," Lily said, startled. "I'm sorry, but have we met?"
"Um, no, you see, I don't go to Hogwarts, I'm just here, visiting with my friends." James gestured to 'Sophie, Penelope, and Rachel'.
"Well I don't mean to be rude, but how do you know Potter?"
"Oh..I...um...I met him over summer. He is very good looking isn't he?" James asked. Lily raised her eyebrow. "And smart, and funny," Lily snorted.
"I'm sorry, but I think you and I are talking about two completely different people."
"If you ever get the privilege to go out with him, you should," James said, eyeing Lily closely.
"No thanks. Well I better go. Nice meeting you...um..."
"Jamie," James supplied. Lily nodded, and walked off.
"Well, that was quite interesting," Sirius commented.
"Can it, Sophie," James snarled. " Let's just get the stuff we want and then head over to the Three Broomsticks."
"Yes, I think a nice warm butterbeer might ease up the fact that you were rejected once again." Remus said, before adding quietly, "and you were a girl this time."
"Ugh, don't remind me." The door clinked open to reveal the inside of the Three Broomsticks. The boys found an empty table for four, so they each grabbed a seat and sat down.
"Don't forget to sit like ladies," Sirius muttered to the other boys, Remus and Peter crossed their legs reluctantly. However, James did it very enthusiastically.
"What would you four lovely ladies like today?" Rosemerta greeted them.
"Four butterbeers, please," James asked in a lady's voice.
"Coming right up," Rosemerta said before she left. Sirius started daydreaming while looking out of the store window.
"Oi!" Sirius yelled. "I'll be right back," Sirius said, while flying out the door.
"Wonder what that was about," Peter asked.
"Oh no," groaned Remus. Sirius was strutting over to the hooked nose Slytherin.
"Oh, this is going to be good," said James, who was looking enthusiastically out the window.
"Hullo, there," Sirius said, to an unsuspecting Snape.
"Er..hullo," said Snape.
"I was just watching you from inside the Three Broomsticks and I was...drawn...to you," Sirius said in his sweetest voice, batting his eyes.
"Really," Snape said, coldly.
"Yes, and I just wanted to say what a horrible, greasy, appearance you have." Sirius smiled.
"What?" Snape growled.
"You heard me..." Sirius said. Remus saw the look in Sirius's eyes...he couldn't resist, he was going to blow their cover. "See you around...Snivellus."
"Black," Snape seethed. "You're not supposed to be here."
"Who's Black? The only Black I know of is Sirius Black, the incrediably handsome boy at Hogwarts. He's smart, and funny, and athletic. But me, I'm Sophie, and I'm here with my friends, Rachel, Jamie, and Penelope," Sirius said, pointing at the Three Broomsticks window.
Snape turned around, his cloak billowing behind him as he headed towards the castle. Sirius strolled back to the Three Broomsticks, grabbed a mug of butterbeer off the table and took a big swig.
"I cannot believe you," Remus said, stressing every word. "You blew our cover!"
"Nah, you really think Filch is going to believe that Snape saw us four up here, looking like girls? I don't think so."
"Yeah Rem– I mean, Rachel, calm down," James said, grabbing his own mug of butterbeer.
"Uh, girls..." Peter said, staring out of the window.
"What is it Penelope?" asked James, following Peter's gaze. "Marilen's Beard, Filch is walking up here. I can't believe, he listened to Snape!"
"Let's get out of here," Sirius said, while rushing out the door. The other boys followed. They made their way back to Honeydukes as quickly as possible. But out of the corner of his eye, Remus could see Filch catching up.
"Shoot, someone is down in the cellar." James said.
"Quick, behind here," Sirius said, ducking behind a barrel of Drabbles Bubble Gum .
"I might know someone that can help us," Remus said, recognizing the red hair, once again, over by the chocolates. Remus made his way over to Lily, ducking behind objects and people as he went along. He was soon hiding behind a wall of Chocolate Earth Worms , grabbing Lily's ankle as he ducked.
"Do I know you?" Lily asked while sitting down by Remus.
""Yes, you do."
"I do?" Lily looked surprised. Remus's eye's were darting on Filch.
"Lily, it's me, Remus," he whispered
"Remus!" She said, shocked. "What are you wearing?"
"Nevermind that. Filch is after us, someone is blocking the secret passageway, and we need you to sidetrack Filch and whoever is in the cellar," Remus said, quickly.
"Who's we?"
"Sirius, James, Peter, and I."
"Oh, you mean Jamie?" Lily remembered.
"Yes, yes, now hurry."
"Stupid git," Lily muttered. "Alright, alright, just one more question."
"What?" Remus asked, impatiently.
"Are those my pants?"
"Maybe..."
"Hm, they look good on you."
"Leave!" Remus rushed.
"Alright, I'm going, I'm going." And with a swish of her red crimson hair, she was off to see Filch . Remus could barely make out the conversation, but sure enough, Filch had left the store. Lily then stuck her head into the basement and yelled out that there needed to be a restock of Acid Pops. With that, the man in the basement made his way up the stairs with an armful of Acid Pops. Remus made his way back over to James, Sirius, and Peter and grabbed the back of their shirts, or in Peter's case, his dress, and dragged them down the cellar stairs.
"Well this was a great adventure," James stated, while hoisting himself down into the dark tunnel.
"Good thing we're leaving right now. I think we're going back to normal," Remus said, while feeling his shortened hair that was going back to its original color.
"I have to admit, I'm glad to have my hot, manly, chest back," Sirius said. They trooped through the darkness. The only way they could see was by the little light that illuminated the tips of their wands.
"All we have to do now is get back to the common room, return the girl's stuff, abd get back to normal," James said.
"One question Sirius," Remus said. "How exactly did you get up into the girl's dormitories? We all knew guys couldn't get up there after James tried."
"Easy. Just jump on the banister and pull yourself up. Had to use Alohamora on the door though, it was locked. This castle can't outsmart me," Sirius said, nonchalantly. By the time they emerged into the common room, all the boys looked like they got dressed in the wrong wardrobe. After changing into their normal robes, Sirius returned everything back to the girl's dormitories.
"First time we got out of detention, without getting caught. You did good Sirius," Remus said.
"Aw, thanks Rachel," Sirius said, smiling his goofy smile.