Chapter 3

AN: I know I said this would be up sooner, but I felt it needed to be tweaked a little first. I hope you all enjoy this third and final part and thanks again for the feedback to the story so far! I think this chapter ends at a place that requires no epilogue, but do let me know if you think one is needed. I'll be getting back to my other stories now, it's been awhile since they were updated, especially And Baby Makes Three. I just had to get this one out though, the question of "what if" was too strong not to! All right, that's all from me. Read on!

AJ had noticed that two of his officers were absent at the beginning of the dining out that evening and was having a hard time deciding whether that was a good or bad sign. It wasn't like Mac to be late for anything but he knew that Harm was prone to being late. He decided to give them a little longer before giving one of them a call. Just minutes later, AJ saw Harm escort Mac into the room. They greeted the others at their table and Harm pulled Mac's chair out for her before taking a seat himself. AJ wondered about what had happened between the time he'd dismissed them earlier and that moment. Sturgis was also watching them with interest, AJ having informed him of what had gone on in his meeting with Harm and Mac. He'd have a situation to deal with all right, but at least it was for a good cause. Harm caught AJ's eye, giving his CO a smile and a small nod. Mac noticed the interaction and smiled in AJ's direction too. A satisfied smile crossed AJ's face, his plan seemed to have worked out perfectly. Once the speeches had been completed and everyone was mingling, Harm took Mac's hand and led her outside.

"Where are we going?" asked Mac.

"It's a nice night out," said Harm vaguely. Mac gave him a curious look but sat down beside him on a bench.

"It feels natural doesn't it?" began Harm nervously.

"What does?" asked Mac.

"This. Us," said Harm, gesturing between them.

"Yeah, it does. It feels completely natural," said Mac with a smile.

"I love you Mac, I have for a long time now," said Harm.

"I know. I love you too," said Mac, touching his cheek affectionately as she smiled at him.

Harm covered her hand with his and took her other hand also, holding them between his larger ones. His throat had gone completely dry and he coughed, trying to get his nervousness under control.

"Are you getting sick Harm?" asked Mac, concerned.

"No, I'm fine. Just nervous," said Harm.

"What are you nervous about?" asked Mac, not quite following.

"I need to ask you something," said Harm.

"Okay," said Mac, a little amused to see him so nervous.

"I know this might be sudden but we've wasted eight years already and I don't want to waste any more time. Mac…Sarah, will you marry me?" asked Harm, looking into her eyes.

Mac stared at him, shocked and thrilled at the same time. Everything that had happened that day went through her mind. It wasn't sudden, not after all the years they'd loved each other and although he'd just made all her dreams come true, she knew she couldn't possibly accept. It would be unfair to him, he deserved more than she could give him. Tears filled her eyes and she tried to blink them back. Harm was waiting for her response nervously.

"I'm so sorry, but I can't. I can't marry you," said Mac, her voice breaking with emotion. She burst into tears and looking at him apologetically, walked quickly away from the bench, resisting the urge to run due to having been told to take it easy by the doctor.

Harm watched her go, the hurt clear on his face. He sighed sadly, sitting there for several long moments before getting up and heading to the porch, not wanting to go back inside. AJ glimpsed Mac briefly before he lost sight of her. From that quick glimpse, he saw that she was crying. AJ shook his head sadly, earlier she and Harm had been the picture of happiness as they talked and laughed together during dinner. Had they already managed to ruin what they'd found?

Mac headed for the ladies room, hoping to find it empty. She didn't think she could face anyone at that moment and just wanted to be alone. Alone to regret what she'd just done. Mac found the ladies room empty except for Harriet who was drying her hands on a paper towel. In that split second when Harriet looked up at her, the urge to run away again disappeared and she felt glad that she'd found a friend to comfort her at a time like this.

"Ma'am, what's the matter?" asked Harriet, drying her hands hurriedly and rushing to her friend's side.

"I just….made…the biggest mistake…of my life," Mac managed to get out between sobs.

"It's okay ma'am, I'm sure it can be fixed," said Harriet, hugging Mac as she continued to cry.

"He asked me to marry him," said Mac tearfully.

"Who?" asked Harriet, her eyes wide.

"Harm," said Mac.

"Oh my goodness ma'am! Finally!" said Harriet, clearly thrilled.

"But then, why are you crying?" asked Harriet, confusion setting in.

"I turned him down, I screwed it all up. It's the biggest mistake I've ever made," said Mac.

"What? Why would you do that?" asked Harriet frowning.

"I found out I have endometriosis today Harriet. I'm never going to have kids. Harm deserves a wife who can give him children," said Mac, wiping a few tears away.

"Oh Mac, I'm so sorry," said Harriet, giving her another hug. "There are other ways though – fertility treatments, IVF, surrogacy, adoption."

"Harm deserves a wife who can give him a biological child," said Mac sadly.

"Does the Commander know?" asked Harriet.

"Yes, he was there when the doctor told me," said Mac.

"It wouldn't matter to the Commander," said Harriet, confident that now that her friends had finally found each other, something like this couldn't possibly come between them.

"He might think it doesn't now, but it will and then he'll resent me for it," said Mac, wiping a few tears away with the back of her hand.

"I don't believe that. Why would he?" said Harriet.

Mac shrugged, unable to speak as fresh tears made their way steadily down her cheeks.

"Do you love him?" asked Harriet.

"More than anything," said Mac. "I've loved him practically since the moment I met him." Saying it aloud at that moment made her smile, despite her sadness. Whatever happened between them, she'd always love him and knew that he felt the same way.

"I don't see the problem then. Harm loves you, you love him. You don't need to have kids the old fashioned way, there are other ways you can have a child. Even one that is still biologically yours and his," said Harriet wisely.

"Scientific ways," said Mac dejectedly.

"So? Would you love the baby any less?" asked Harriet. She knew what Mac's answer to the question would be, but felt that making Mac answer it might just make her friend see past her immediate pain regarding her condition.

"No, of course not," said Mac, the thought never having occurred to her.

"I don't see a problem with anything then," said Harriet with a smile.

"You're right Harriet. I've been stupid," said Mac, managing a small smile. "I hurt him so badly, I don't know how he could ever forgive me."

"Go find him," said Harriet.

"If he even wants to talk to me," said Mac.

"He will. He'll be hurting right now but just talk to him," said Harriet.

"I will," said Mac determinedly.

"Mac, I'm here if you need me. And if you and Harm decide you need a surrogate, after I have the twins, I'd be happy to," said Harriet. Mac just stared at her friend for a moment, not quite believing what she was hearing.

"Oh Harriet, that's really nice of you," said Mac, hugging Harriet.

"I mean it," said Harriet.

"Thank you, that means a lot. Thank you for everything," said Mac.

"A wedding invitation will be all the thanks I need," grinned Harriet.

"My maid of honor will definitely get an invitation," said Mac with a smile. Harriet wished her luck and left her alone, glad that after all the years they'd secretly been in love with each other, her two friends would finally get things right. Mac fixed her make-up quickly and then went to find Harm, hoping he hadn't left yet.

She found Harm out on the porch, leaning on the railing. He didn't look at her when she stood beside him but kept staring out into the night.

"I'm sorry," began Mac.

"You don't need to apologise. I understand. I'm sorry I pushed you so quickly," said Harm, determined to hide the hurt he was feeling.

"No, don't be sorry. I don't want you to be sorry," said Mac. He still hadn't looked at her, and she studied his profile. He was looking out onto the grounds, his mouth set in a line and his back rigid. Nervously, she reached out and touched his arm, letting her fingers slide down and rest on top of his hand as he leant on the railing. Harm had flinched slightly at the contact but then relaxed. He sighed and glanced at her quickly out of the corner of his eye.

"Can we still be friends?" he asked tentatively.

"I don't want to just be friends," said Mac, shaking her head.

Harm turned to looked at her then. "You don't want to be friends?"

"Harm, I'm really sorry about earlier. I was so stupid. I thought my condition would keep me from having everything I ever wanted, but I realise now that I already have it," said Mac. "At least I think I do. I still have your love don't I? I wouldn't blame you if you hate me."

"You do. I couldn't hate you Mac," said Harm. Mac felt a strong wave of relief wash over her. As long as she had his love she knew everything would work out. It had to, for the both of them.

"I'm glad. I wish I could go back in time and fix it but I can't. I can try though," said Mac. Harm merely looked at her questioningly.

"I love you Harm," she said.

"Not enough to marry me though. I understand," said Harm quietly.

"More than enough to marry you," said Mac, reaching for his hand and squeezing it gently.

Harm didn't reply, not quite knowing where she was going. Tears were falling down her cheeks and he reached out to wipe them away without thinking about it, it was an action that came naturally. As he moved his hand away, Mac took hold of it, placing a kiss on his palm.

"Will you still marry me Harm?" asked Mac, her eyes sparkling with tears.

"What?" asked Harm, his surprise evident.

"I'm proposing," said Mac, looking into his eyes.

"I don't understand Mac. You can't have changed your mind just like that. If this is about sparing my feelings, don't worry about it, I'll be fine," said Harm shortly. He couldn't believe that Mac would toy with his emotions like that, even though her eyes seemed to be telling him that she was completely serious.

"Harm no. Do you really think I'd do something like that?" asked Mac, her voice cracking. She couldn't believe that Harm would consider her capable of such a thing, she thought he knew her better than that.

"No, I know you're too kind to do that," replied Harm, reason catching up with his hurt feelings.

"Good. Listen to me please?" said Mac, relaxing.

"I'm listening," he said, trying hard to extinguish the ray of hope that had ignited the moment she'd asked whether he still loved her and was steadily getting stronger.

"I owe you an explanation. The reason I said no earlier was because I didn't want you to marry someone who couldn't give you children. You deserve more than that," said Mac, her eyes locked to his.

"There are other ways to have kids Mac, it doesn't matter to me how, as long as we do it together. I proposed because I love you," said Harm.

"I know that now and I'm so sorry. My answer wasn't because I don't want to marry you and certainly not because I don't love you enough. Can you ever forgive me?" said Mac.

"Forgiven and forgotten," said Harm, caressing her cheek lightly.

"Thank you," said Mac, relieved that they once again appeared to be on the same page.

"Are you sure about this Mac? I don't want you to do anything you're not sure about. I want you to be happy," said Harm, wanting to make sure that they understood each other completely.

"I'm very sure and I'll be the happiest woman in the world if you agree to marry me," said Mac. She kissed him, trying to put all of her love for him into the kiss. Harm's response was immediate, but after a few moments he broke the kiss and moved slightly away from her. Mac looked hurt for a moment but gasped when she saw him go down on one knee in front of her.

"I love you Sarah Mackenzie. Will you marry me?" asked Harm, no trace of nervousness in his voice as he now knew her answer.

Mac smiled widely, happy tears running down her cheeks. "Yes, definitely yes!" she said.

Harm stood up grinning and pulled her into a hug.

"I love you," he breathed into her ear.

"I love you too," said Mac.

"I don't have a ring on me right now but you'll get it," said Harm with a smile.

Mac smiled back at him. "I don't need a ring, but I'd be honored to wear any ring you give me. One thing I do need is a kiss though."

"What would your fiance say?" asked Harm, quirking an eyebrow at her with a teasing smile.

"He'd give us his blessing," said Mac grinning.

"In that case, your wish is my command," said Harm smiling. He pulled her close, kissing her lovingly.

Inside, AJ took one last look at the people he had come to consider his family through the years, and again noted the absence of Rabb and Mackenzie. Harriet and Bud were dancing, his new shoulder boards clearly visible. Jennifer was talking and laughing with the others at her table, and Sturgis was talking to Mike. He'd take a part of all of them with him and hoped that wherever Harm and Mac were, that they were together and happy. Stepping outside he started to walk away before something made him look back. There, in a corner of the porch were Harm and Mac, wrapped in a loving embrace, oblivious to anything but each other.

"About damn time," he said softly and smiled as he walked away.