Sakura and the Prince of Flowers
By Miss Angel Maxwell

Free Talk: This is another long chapter, and was very difficult to write. I'm not sure how it is for other people, but I find it much easier to write action and dialogue than thoughts and feelings (which this chapter is full of). Perhaps it is because I am such a beginner. In any case, I really hope this chapter came out okay. I worry a little that this story is getting boring. Is it? There are only a few chapters left (about 4 or so). The focus is finally back on our heroine. I did have fun writing Temari, though. I am a big fan of her (I cosplayed as her last Otakon, actually). As a friend, I do think she would be a bit bawdy. Gaara was harder to write. So I hope I didn't get him all wrong. Thank you for the support! And please comment and tell me what you think!

Chapter 17: "You Are The One Who Taught Me"

"Aiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"

A sickening scream tore the sleeping palace of Suna in half, waking all but the very heaviest of sleepers within. As soon as she heard it, Temari flung herself, disoriented and disheveled, out of bed and flew down the hallway, her bare feet slapping furiously against the marble floor as she headed towards Sakura's room. Without hesitation, she kicked open the doors to the young woman's newer and much nicer dormitory and immediately flipped on the light. Sakura was sitting bolt upright in bed, pale-faced and trembling, her eyes widened and her face bathed in sweat. Her hands were clenched into tight fists, which were both dripping fresh red blood onto the pink silk nightgown that covered her round, protruding belly.

"Sakura, you're bleeding!" Temari exclaimed, rushing to her side. "What happened? Was it another nightmare?"

"No," Sakura breathed. "It was the same nightmare. Only this time, the monster had already killed Sasuke and Naruto and then… Then it went after me. No, not me… It went after… and then it lunged…" Her voice was getting louder and frightened and began to crack. "The baby! The monster killed my baby!"

"It's alright," Temari soothed. "It was just a dream. There's no monster here." She gently pried open Sakura's tiny balled-up hands, each covered in blood and sporting four deep cuts from her fingernails, and placed them on her stomach. "See? The baby is fine, it's kicking."

The maid-turned-tutor's heart had been firing like a machine gun, but it calmed down as soon she felt the forceful movement inside her. "Oh, Temari," she sighed. "I can't believe I keep doing this. Waking everyone up in the middle of the night with my screaming… But… it was so real! I just… I…"

"Blood? What happened? Is she okay?" a cold but somehow gentle voice interrupted. The two girls looked up to see the Kazekage framed in the doorway, clad in fine burgundy pajamas.

"I'm sorry I woke you," Sakura answered, carefully avoiding Gaara's gaze. "I had a nightmare again."

Gaara's slippered feet didn't make a sound as he moved, smooth as water, to the young woman's bedside. "These nightmares are coming more frequently. And they seem to be getting more intense, as well. You've clenched your fists so tight as to draw blood."

"I'm really worried about you, Pinky," Temari confessed, hugging Sakura close. "Gaara, what are we going to do?"

"There is one thing I shall do first of all," the red-haired boy replied calmly. He took one of Sakura's hands in his own and she shivered slightly from the coldness of his skin. Then he gently touched her wounds with his fingertips and the self-inflicted injuries healed themselves, then he repeated the process on her other hand. "Better?" he asked.

"Y-yeah," she said, stuttering slightly. "You've gotten very good at that. Thank you."

"You are the one who taught me," Gaara reminded. "So thank you, Haruno Sakura."

Though she couldn't explain why, Sakura felt her cheeks grow warm. Why did Gaara always call her by her full name? "I hope you two will be able to get back to sleep," she said.

"Don't worry about us," Temari replied, smiling. "We'll be fine. But hey, is there anything you need?"

"Well," she said thoughtfully. "I did get blood on my bed sheets, so I could use some clean ones. But I can get them myself, you don't have to…"

"Nonsense, Pinky. I'll go and get them right now," said Temari.

As soon as his older sister had left the room, Gaara moved over and took her place sitting next to Sakura. Suddenly she felt the hairs on the back of her neck rise. "How have you been feeling lately, Haruno Sakura," he said after a short pause.

"Eight months pregnant," she answered. "So, very uncomfortable. Aching back, aching feet, swollen… everything… Almost makes me forget that there's a shinobi under all this."

"Actually, I was inquiring more about your mental health," Gaara responded. "But I am sorry that you are so uncomfortable physically."

Sakura blinked a few times, quite surprised by the Kazekage's query. "I suppose you're asking because of the nightmares… I am a little anxious of course, what with the baby and all. But I can't think of anything so severe as to trigger these terrifying dreams."

"Are you sure you are just a little anxious?" Gaara asked curiously. "You have not yet turned eighteen, and in just a few weeks you are going to give birth. You are living here, miles away from your home and your friends and family, and you still have not explained to anyone why you left. Plus, you have been working yourself extremely hard, teaching my siblings and I medical ninjutsu while continuing your duties as a maid, despite my telling you that you are free to quit, and that it is putting undue stress on your already strained body."

"I… I want to feel useful," she answered nervously. "What's wrong with that?"

"There is nothing wrong with it," said Gaara. "But I do not believe that is the reason for your behavior. You are running from something, and you are keeping yourself very busy in order to mask it. Whatever it is you are hiding, I can tell that it is a heavy burden on you, and I believe it is the cause of your nightmares. I believe it is killing you from the inside out."

Sakura was left still and breathless. Somehow that young man's freezing blue-green eyes saw right though her carefully maintained façade. "I…" she began, but her voice was cut off by the liquid movement of the Kazekage's pale white hand towards her neck. For a brief moment she got the irrational idea that he was going to strangle her, but instead he picked up the tiny white button still hanging from a red string around her neck and held it in his hand.

"I hope that soon you will let yourself be free," he said silkily. "Until then…" Gaara stood up silently, intentionally leaving his last sentence open. As he was walking towards the door, Temari was just arriving with an armful of fresh linens.

"I brought clean sheets, and some nice blood-free pajamas to boot," she declared cheerfully. "Need any help making your bed?"

"No, I can manage it my…"

"Help her, Sister," Gaara interrupted. "Also, there will be no lessons tomorrow. Please sleep in as late you wish, Haruno Sakura. And you are not to do any housework. Sister, you may forgo your duties tomorrow, as well. I bid you both goodnight, and I hope that your return to sleep comes easily."

Without another word, the redhead left the room, and the two ladies began the task of making Sakura's bed. The pregnant girl wouldn't say much, as she still felt strangely shaken by Gaara's keen insight, but she smiled mildly as she tucked in the cream-colored sheets, happy just to not be alone right now. Temari smiled back at her.

"You and I will have fun tomorrow," she said happily. "We can steal some of the good stuff from the kitchens and we can… well, I can get wasted. And we'll talk trash about guys… you know, bawdy stuff… We'll just be big bitches all day long! Whadaya say?"

Sakura couldn't suppress an amused giggle that bubbled from her lips. She knew that she was the only person that the sassy blonde talked that way to. It was always meant to make her smile, and almost always succeeded. "When you put it that way, how can I refuse?" she answered.

When the bed was all made up, and Sakura was tucked in wearing clean pajamas, Temari left and turned the lights out. Despite what Gaara had said, though, sleep would not come easy for the runaway of the Leaf. Her mind was still swimming from his speech to her earlier, and it didn't help that the baby was still wide awake and kicking wildly. She let loose a tried sigh.

I'm sorry Gaara, but I can't let myself be free, she thought to herself. If you knew what I did to your friend, you'd understand why I left, and why I have to work so hard. But then, maybe you do know. Did you recognize Lee's button? It must be suspicious that I showed up in your country pregnant with your friend's child just weeks after his death. You could tell so much just by looking at me. Could you see Lee's blood on my hands?

But more than just her reasons for running, Gaara's words had reminded Sakura of what she'd left behind.

Could you tell how much I miss them?

For most of the time that she had been living in Suna, at least after she'd secured the position of medical jutsu teacher, Sakura was able to force her mind onto other things than the life she left behind. She thought about the three siblings' mastery of the skills she was teaching them, as well as their cooperation as a family unit. (In both respects they had indeed made great progress). She also worried about her health and her baby, and made a habit of reading pregnancy books in her free time. Thoughts of Sasuke and Naruto were just too sad for her to bear, so she repressed them as much as possible.

But that red haired young man had turned a key in Sakura's heart, and now the door was wide open. Besides, right now, thinking about her teammates and longing for them was the one thing that seemed to keep her mind off of the nightmare she'd had earlier. That sudden image of a hideous fang-filled jaw ripping her unborn child right out her stomach in a spray of blood made the young woman's heart race and her whole body shudder.

That's a much scarier thought than Sasuke and Naruto, she thought. I bet they're still going on missions without me. And they're probably doing all right. But… I miss them… I miss them so much… It hurts… Naruto's eager grin… Sasuke's dark eyes sparkling with triumph over a job well done… My Sasuke…

Sakura's heart squirmed a little bit. It had been a very long time since she'd ever thought the words "my Sasuke." It was true that she'd spent the better part of her youth passionately in love with the handsome Uchiha and actively pursued him romantically. But after he had returned from being with Orochimaru, she toned down her effort. She had been so happy that day, just to have him back, that she cried for hours. It was on that day she decided that it was enough for her just to be near Sasuke and be on his team, and that for him to fall in love with her was just too much for her to ask. And she had been happy just being a team, especially since Naruto had become so important to her as well, a best friend supplanting Ino even.

Tonight she felt different, though. For a while, her mind was content just to relive that day last summer when she splashed happily in a stream, post-mission. It was the last truly happy day she could remember. But then another image took its place, one she hadn't envisioned in years. She saw herself married to Sasuke, living in that little red-roofed house in the quiet part of Konoha, where the grass grows thickly and every yard has flowers. Two or three children were playing out in front, anxious to be ninja just like their mother and father. Actually, the only thing different from her original childhood fantasy was that now Naruto was part of her family too. Somehow she just pictured him as a constant in her and Sasuke's life, like a relative that you couldn't get rid of, but if you were honest with yourself wouldn't want to get rid of, ever.

Why am I thinking of that now? I stopped wanting that a long time ago, she reminded herself, but she felt a lump forming in her throat as she thought it. I'm just thinking that that's what I want because of the baby, and because I've been away for so long. Besides, that… that will never happen now. If there was any chance that Sasuke felt that way about me, wanted to have a family with me… He can't possibly want that anymore. Trying to force him to love me would be bad enough. But making him love a baby that isn't his is unthinkable. She rubbed her stomach. No, this baby is mine alone, now.

Sakura tried to think about something else but soon realized her efforts were futile and decided to let herself fantasize a little longer. After all, a little daydreaming wouldn't hurt anyone. Still, laying there in her bed in the palace of Suna, the stubborn young kunoichi refused to admit the truth, that what she wanted most in the depths of her heart had never changed. A team really wasn't enough for her, and her soul ached for the family she'd dreamed up long ago. In any case, imagining Sasuke's strong arms around her, Sakura finally was able to drift into sleep, and even the baby calmed down inside of her. And it was a sweet deep sleep, without any nightmares.

Temari or Gaara must have turned off Sakura's alarm clock when they were in her bedroom because it didn't go off in the morning and when she finally did wake up it was almost noon. Though her sleep had been deep and peaceful, she woke up with a strange uncomfortable feeling buried somewhere in her mind, like there was something she had to do, something huge and difficult that she didn't fully understand yet. But she decided not to let it bother her, and got ready for her day.

The new room that Gaara had arranged for Sakura was remarkably opulent, especially when compared to the little box in the basement that she'd started out in. She rolled a bit awkwardly out of her canopied four-poster bed and tottered over to an elegant armoire that was filled with beautiful and expensive clothes, all courtesy of the Kazekage.

"It's my day off," she said to herself, looking through her clothing options. "I should pick something comfortable. Maybe the royal blue dress."

She had just put on the soft and gorgeous maternity gown, and was brushing her hair when Temari walked in uninvited.

"Damn, Pinky," the blonde remarked. "I still can't get over how good your hair looks really short. I know you only cut it like that to get rid of the last traces of black, but it's so cute, like a pixie."

"Have you already started drinking?" Sakura asked suspiciously. "You seem a bit…"

"No, no… I'm fine," she stated, though she was holding a half-empty bottle of strawberry wine in her hand. "Say, did I ever tell you about the time that Shikamaru and I got it on on Gaara's desk?"

"I don't think you told me that one," Sakura lied, causing the Sand girl's face to light up.

She actually had heard this story before, more than once, but was perfectly happy to hear it again. After the trio began to respect her as a teacher, Temari had become a very close friend to her. And it didn't take long for Sakura to discover that her new friend had a real talent for telling sexy stories, which was just fine because the young Leaf's surging hormones made her crave something titillating. She loved hearing about Temari's sexual exploits. The drawback of course, was that now if she ever did return to Konoha, Sakura could never look Shikamaru in the eyes without turning beet red.

The two young women were relaxing comfortably on the bed, and Temari had just finished up her story (which had somehow gotten even more risqué in this telling) when Sakura suddenly sensed the question that always ended these sessions. Usually Temari got in two or three tasteless true stories before asking that question, but today it was going to come early.

"You know, we always talk about my sex life," the blonde said. "But what about you, Pinky? Come on, how was King Eyebrows in bed? You can tell me."

The pink-haired girl growled slightly in frustration. "You've asked me that about a hundred times, Temari, and my answer is still the same: I don't want to talk about it. So stop asking already!"

"Aw, come on!" the older girl pleaded. "I just want to know how Rock Lee's bun ended up in your oven, that's all."

"You know how it goes," Sakura answered flatly. "An egg, a sperm… it's basic biology."

"Not that part! You know what I meant!" she stammered. "Could you at least tell me if he was as good as Uchiha? Hmmm… Come to think of it, you've never told me about pretty boy Uchiha in bed either. That must've been something else. C'mon, spill!"

Sakura's face suddenly became hot and red. "Sasuke and I never…!" she began to blurt out, but stopped herself mid-sentence.

Temari raised an eyebrow. "Oh? Oh! So that means… Sakura, was Lee your… first?"

Sakura looked down a bit embarrassedly. "My only," she corrected. "But I still don't want to talk about it."

"Fine, fine," Temari sighed. "I don't really blame you, Pinky. If my first and only time was with that guy I wouldn't want to…" This time it was her who cut off her sentence, seeing that Sakura's eyebrows were already furrowing angrily. "I think I might go get something to eat," she said, changing the subject. "Wanna join me?"

"No, thanks," Sakura replied. "I think I'm going to just take a walk, get some fresh air."

-

February in Suna was colder than Sakura had imagined, and she had to wear a thick cloak while walking around the palace courtyard. Her conversation with Temari had upset her more than she wanted to admit, but she couldn't really explain why. Her friend hadn't said or done anything out of character or unusual, and honestly, she wasn't really mad at Temari. Sakura felt mad at herself, but it was easier to blame the impertinent blonde.

"Why does she always have to be so nosey?" she grumbled to herself. "Not everyone wants to shamelessly flaunt their sex life like she does. And she just assumes that me and Sasuke were lovers? Where does she get the nerves to… Ow!" Sakura paused and held her stomach. "You don't have to kick me so hard!"

"Giving your mother a hard time, eh?" an icy voice spoke from behind her. "You're already determined to have the strongest taijutsu ever, aren't you kid?"

Sakura smiled slightly. Gaara's casual tone didn't surprise her. This was a habit he had picked up several months ago and by now she was used to it. It was very odd, but the Kazekage really seemed to enjoy talking to her unborn child. Even odder was the way in which he talked to the baby, as if this developing little person was his close friend and the only one around here who truly understood him. Up until now, Sakura had just dismissed it as a weird quirk, like Temari insistently calling her Pinky, but today, standing out in the chilling winter air, she stopped to think how very weird it was. She watched the redhead as he gazed wistfully through the bare tree branches at the hazy gray sky, and something connected in her head.

I can't believe I didn't see it before! The way Gaara talks to the baby, it's the same way he must have talked to Lee! As soon as Sakura realized this, she started to think about how completely strange it was that Gaara and Lee had ever been friends. They were completely different. Gaara was cold and quiet and dark, while Lee was warm and overflowing and bright (in terms of personality, not intellect). Gaara had actually tried to kill Lee at least once. Her stomach tightened. He tried to kill Lee, and now Lee is dead.

"Gaara?" she asked, for once remembering not to call him 'Lord Kazekage.' "How much do you know about Lee's death?"

He turned and looked her in the face, his dark rimmed eyes taking on a rare sympathetic expression. "Come sit down and let's talk," he said, indicating the ledge of a huge stone planter. As soon as Sakura had taken a seat next to him, he continued. "I know exactly what happened on the day Lee died, as well as the night before. I've known since before I came back and found you here. Your Hokage told me."

Sakura gasped.

"Don't worry, I did not tell her that you were here," Gaara assured her.

"You knew all along?" she asked softly. "How could you let me stay here in your palace knowing that I'm the cause of your friend's death? Knowing that I killed him?"

Gaara looked at her severely. "Haruno Sakura, you should not say such foolish things. You did not cause Rock Lee's death. You did not force him into the woods, and you certainly were not the one who attacked him. No, you are not responsible for his death. And you've known this all along. Yet you keep blaming yourself for something you know you didn't do, because you feel the weight of guilt in your heart."

"What are you talking about?" Sakura asked. She was in a strange state of shock that Gaara seemed to know more about her own heart than she did.

"You feel sad that Lee is dead, because he was your friend," the Kazekage explained. "But that isn't the source of your guilt. You feel guilty because you slept with him without being in love with him, and you took advantage of his feelings for you. You never meant to be so thoughtless; it was a moment of weakness. But then he died before you got the chance to apologize to him. You would have felt guilty even if Lee had dropped dead from a heart attack."

"Gaara, I…" Sakura began. "That's not exactly…"

"Well, there is actually more to the situation than just what I have stated," he went on. "Ever since you were a little girl, you have been in love with Uchiha Sasuke, right? And now you feel like you betrayed him by making Rock Lee your first lover. Furthermore, even though you would never admit it, I think you feel guilty and confused that your experience with Lee felt good physically, that you really did enjoy that night with him. And it confuses you even more that you love the child you and he inadvertently created that night just as much as if it were Sasuke's. Am I correct?"

When Gaara finished and looked over at Sakura, her face was glazed with tears. "Why are you crying?"

"Because," she sniffed. "Everything you just said… I didn't even realize it… but it's all true. Every word of it. It's like hearing you say these things has just churned them up from the deepest part of me. How? How did you know? And why didn't you tell me this earlier?"

"You weren't ready," he said, touching her soft chin with his cold fingertips. "I had to wait for you to bring it up. Your emotions have been clouded over from the moment you arrived here. But I have been observing you every day, wondering how someone so strong and beautiful could get so lost."

"What do I do now?" she asked hopefully. "I don't want to feel this way anymore. I don't want to keep feeling guilty over things I can't change. If I'm lost, how do I become found?"

"Now that you understand your own feelings, everything else will begin to get better," said Gaara. "If you want it to."

Then he hugged her. It was even more shocking than when Temari had hugged her on the night she tried to escape. She'd never seen Gaara hug anyone before, and now she was on the receiving end. It was a warm and comfortable hug that made her feel that this young man was someone she could relate to, someone she could trust.

"I'm getting kind of chilly," Sakura finally said, gently pulling out of the tight embrace. "I think I'll head inside."

"Very well," he replied. "If you don't mind, I think I'll stay out here a little longer. But you two go on in. And don't push yourselves too hard."

"We won't," she said. "Oh, and Gaara… Thank you."

-

Despite her current girth, Sakura went to bed that night feeling lighter than she had in months. It was like being on a mission and dropping off your backpack full of supplies before pursuing an enemy. Gaara's kind and enigmatic smile as he watched her leave the courtyard was still on the young woman's mind.

I do want things to get better, she thought. I want to forgive myself. If Gaara can still see something good in me, than maybe it's not so hard to believe that Sasuke and Naruto might want to let me be with them again. After all, it really wasn't my fault that Lee was killed… Maybe in the morning, things will already be starting to get better…

Sakura fell asleep with an optimistic smile on her face. When she awoke from her nightmare-free night, she was greeted by a pair of dark eyes, watching her silently from above.

"Sasuke…" she breathed.

To be continued…