"A Rose By Any Other Name"
By: Rena Cresten
Chapter 5
Disclaimer: Don't own it. Still wish I did. Wanna marry Darien. Can't do that either, so I married my husband this last July 19, 2003. See, don't have the money anymore to be worth suing. Case closed.
Author's Notes: Ahh.... I finally got this chapter done. Hope it meets with everyone's approval. Things should be getting much better from here on out. Enjoy!
*********************
"She's a model." Bless Andrew's heart, if I don't rip it out first, he did try to find the best women for me. Well, the best in his mind. And it occurred to me just then that perhaps I should make Andy put together a file on each woman. Yeah, like I have on my patients. With pictures and biographies and so on. Then I could just tell him no without having to leave my couch. The thought was really starting to settle in when Andrew pulled me back to reality.
"Come on Dare, what could it hurt?" Was he pouting at me? "She's beautiful. Do you know how many guys would love to date a model?"
"You date her." He laughed at me. And for some reason I couldn't find the joke in all of this. "What?"
"I already asked Mina to go with me." Ah, now I get it. "If you aren't gonna take the opportunity, I figured I would." Was it just me, or is my friend a pig?
"And if a say no ..." It was an honest question. But from the shocked look on Andy's face it was like I had suddenly grown three more heads and maybe a few tentacles. Wow, that must be the look they had in mind when talking about someone's tongue 'lolling' out.
"You can't be serious!" Can't be serious about what? Oh yes, now I remember. The whole model thing. I was stuck on the absurd way his face was transforming. Well, if he could be that grotesque with shock, I guess I could put up with another beautiful woman. Did that sound as bad as I thought it did?
Now for the hard part.
Telling Rini.
Now you may think I sounded scared just then. You would be right. My daughter was the soul focus of my life, and she knew it. And she had a nasty habit of doing everything in her considerable power to keep it that way. Somewhere along the years I had forgotten to even look for any of Anna in Rini, it was a hopeless cause. Unless one saw her asleep. Then the beautiful angel I called my daughter was the perfect copy of her wondrous and kindhearted mother.
Keeping the image of her resting ever so peacefully among her pillows and stuffed rabbits, I kept the thought of how death row-like the trek down the hallway seemed. I also kept the images of flaming women, acid eaten dresses, and horrific screams at bay. That was until I made it to her doorway and lost all of my courage.
What was I going to say to her?
How was I going to deal with her tantrum?
Who was left, sane enough to baby-sit her?
Hey, I'm the father here. And if I want to go out for the night and have a little fun every now and then, I'm fully entitled.
Yeah, that's the spirit. That's what I'll say if I have to be strong.
Yet when I finally left that fluffy pink room I felt so overwhelmed I could have actually fainted. And I must have looked it, for when Andrew took one look at my bulging eyes, pale skin, and the drool just waiting to drop down my chin, he ran to my rescue with some sort of drink in his hands. When I sipped it I didn't know whether to bite him or thank him. The whisky was so strong it nearly knocked me on my butt. And though it was exactly what I needed, I still had my principles to never drink. Then I truly considered that. Remembering the horrific temper tantrum my lovely daughter had just thrown, the endless string of equally horrific women Andrew dropped on me, and the boring THING that is my life, I grabbed a hold of that whisky and downed the whole glass.
"I'm going, Andy. Tell her I'll pick her up around ... when is this party?"
"Seven."
"Okay, I'll be at her house at 6:30. Can you get me another drink?"
****
The rest of the week came and went, three days of Rini screaming and refusing to eat. But surprisingly I didn't give in. And boy, was I proud of myself. My daughter on the other hand got sent to her room for the first time in her life. It was enlightening to see the anger fade from her face when she finally realized I wouldn't give in to her. She had never before come up against opposition like this and I could see the light of power fading from her eyes. I didn't feel as bad about it as I thought I would.
When that evening came I tugged my white tie into place against the white dress shirt. Then dawned the black dinner jacket and gave a once over to my appearance.
Not bad.
I caught a glimpse of Rini in the mirror and her sad little face made the hard-nosed-Dad-mask crumble. Smiling at her I turned and crouched to receive the tear filled hug. Her eyes were so red and her cheeks so puffy she had obviously been crying for a long time. Those things she couldn't fake.
"Honey, I'm just going out to a party that Uncle Andy invited me to. He has a friend in town that he wants me to take because he already has a date with Aunty Mina. I couldn't tell him no. Besides, Honey, it wouldn't be fair to me. I need to have grown-up fun sometimes." She sniffled loudly and her face scrunched unhappily.
"But I try to be all growned up for you so that you can have grown-up fun. Don't I do it right?" Oh God, how to answer a question like that. Especially with her bright blue eyes staring at me so pitifully.
"Of course you do it right. But Baby Girl, your not a grown-up. You don't need to be. You need to enjoy being a kid, cause you only have one chance at it." I knew I was late now, and try as I might I couldn't keep a small part of me from reminding me of that fact. Funny thing was it wasn't just that small part of me that wanted to go. I really did want to go, for the first time in nearly five years I wanted to go and have fun. I wanted to dance with a beautiful woman and once more be a fun loving adult. I-
Oops, saved by the bell. That would be the new baby-sitter. I actually felt sorry for the teenager waiting outside my door. But she charged a decent price, and besides ... no one else would dare to take this job. I couldn't complain.
"You be good Rini. I am running out of baby-sitters quite quickly. And the next time I go out your gonna get stuck with Old Lady Mitchelle." The horrified look on her tiny face was enough to convince me I had made my point. And the fact that this new baby-sitter came equipped with facials and hot curlers made my leaving an almost joyous experience. Yay!
****
I wish I could say I was just as impressed by the model Andy had talked me into taking out. Oh, don't get me wrong! She had hair like the blackest night sky and eyes like warm honey. She was thankfully still shorter than me, and possessed a figure to temp God himself. But she had the brains of a newt. No, that's not really fair ... to the newt.
The party on the other hand was a raving success. The ballroom was lavish, the food was a culinary masterpiece, and the company, besides my date, was an intellectual thrill. All in all I was fully enjoying myself. Perhaps even drunk a little too much punch. Yes, I remembered my no drinking rule. But people change. And I already knew I would be sending my date home in a cab, why not me as well.
Did I remember to put everything about having fun in past tense? If I didn't, I should have. For while I was having a stimulating conversation on rare diseases I finally learned who the patron of this party really was. You wanna know how I found out? Well, I'll tell you.
She walked up to me and faced me down with a sneer that made her beautiful face quite grotesque. And not the lovely sweep of her golden hair nor the glitter of yellow diamonds against her alabaster skin, which by the way matched her utterly tasteful and elegant yellow satin dress perfectly, could make her look very appealing with that vicious glint in her eyes. Did I manage to compliment her profusely while trying to tell you how hideous she looked? Well, I'll be darned. I did.
"Who the hell invited you?" Do you remember that wood chipper from when I first met her? Well, I realized in that moment just how graceful and lovely yellow satin would look flying about in tiny bits, so long as she was still wearing it. "Was it my pathetic sister? She's always bringing that horrible 'family' atmosphere to things that should be strictly business. You've made your appearance, why don't I call you a cab home."
Maybe it was the excess punch, maybe it was this newfound power and adult sense I had about myself, either way I found myself walking steadily toward her and leaning my face down towards hers. For a brief moment I saw her eyes widen in shock, or fear, or something like it. Then narrow into icy blue slits. I should have apologized, excused myself, and enjoyed a nice rerun of "I Love Lucy" on TV. Um, did I mention I had already drunk far too much for a person who doesn't drink? Good, I want that on the record for future reference.
I would like to think I blacked out and woke up with my body doing something I could blame on an alternate personality or something. But, unfortunately I was fully aware of every stupid movement I made.
I was aware of sliding my arm around her tiny waist and how smooth and soft her hip was under the grip of my hand.
I was aware of the slender hands that ran up my chest as if to push me away and yet never did.
I was aware of the true falsity of her anger just before I bent my head down and triumphantly claimed her blood red lips. I recognized, if only partially, the foggy and yet electric feel of my body in response. I recognized the soft and supple feel of her lips that were so much more than perfect. And nearly lost myself to it.
But the fact she was responding to me woke me instantly to the situation. And I pulled myself back from the heaven I had tasted.
Her red lipstick was slightly smeared and her bottomless blue eyes were still slightly dazed and confused. It made me wonder if she had ever actually been kissed before in her life. And when the anger began to flood back into her face I realized I hadn't just overstayed my welcome, I had decimated it.
"You bastard. Who the hell do you think you are?" Her voice shook, but I think I was the only person to hear it. "Get out of my house now. And I hope I never see you again until the end of eternity."
"Till then." Why the hell did I say that? That's it, who took control of my body and how can I get rid of him?
I did have the dignity though to very calmly walk out of the party, nodding a curt good-bye to my date. And only when in the comfort of a cab, because I really did have too much to drink, I let the dignity slide away.
"Stupid idiot! Have you lost every ounce of functioning brain cells? What the hell made you kiss her? You should win the award for 'Biggest Loser in the World.' What are you going to say to Andrew? How are you going to face yourself in the morning? And why do you have to be too truthful to blame it on the punch!" Needless to say, the cabby tried his damnedest not to stare at me and laugh. Which would have made it just that much better. The perfect end to a perfectly lousy evening.
By: Rena Cresten
Chapter 5
Disclaimer: Don't own it. Still wish I did. Wanna marry Darien. Can't do that either, so I married my husband this last July 19, 2003. See, don't have the money anymore to be worth suing. Case closed.
Author's Notes: Ahh.... I finally got this chapter done. Hope it meets with everyone's approval. Things should be getting much better from here on out. Enjoy!
*********************
"She's a model." Bless Andrew's heart, if I don't rip it out first, he did try to find the best women for me. Well, the best in his mind. And it occurred to me just then that perhaps I should make Andy put together a file on each woman. Yeah, like I have on my patients. With pictures and biographies and so on. Then I could just tell him no without having to leave my couch. The thought was really starting to settle in when Andrew pulled me back to reality.
"Come on Dare, what could it hurt?" Was he pouting at me? "She's beautiful. Do you know how many guys would love to date a model?"
"You date her." He laughed at me. And for some reason I couldn't find the joke in all of this. "What?"
"I already asked Mina to go with me." Ah, now I get it. "If you aren't gonna take the opportunity, I figured I would." Was it just me, or is my friend a pig?
"And if a say no ..." It was an honest question. But from the shocked look on Andy's face it was like I had suddenly grown three more heads and maybe a few tentacles. Wow, that must be the look they had in mind when talking about someone's tongue 'lolling' out.
"You can't be serious!" Can't be serious about what? Oh yes, now I remember. The whole model thing. I was stuck on the absurd way his face was transforming. Well, if he could be that grotesque with shock, I guess I could put up with another beautiful woman. Did that sound as bad as I thought it did?
Now for the hard part.
Telling Rini.
Now you may think I sounded scared just then. You would be right. My daughter was the soul focus of my life, and she knew it. And she had a nasty habit of doing everything in her considerable power to keep it that way. Somewhere along the years I had forgotten to even look for any of Anna in Rini, it was a hopeless cause. Unless one saw her asleep. Then the beautiful angel I called my daughter was the perfect copy of her wondrous and kindhearted mother.
Keeping the image of her resting ever so peacefully among her pillows and stuffed rabbits, I kept the thought of how death row-like the trek down the hallway seemed. I also kept the images of flaming women, acid eaten dresses, and horrific screams at bay. That was until I made it to her doorway and lost all of my courage.
What was I going to say to her?
How was I going to deal with her tantrum?
Who was left, sane enough to baby-sit her?
Hey, I'm the father here. And if I want to go out for the night and have a little fun every now and then, I'm fully entitled.
Yeah, that's the spirit. That's what I'll say if I have to be strong.
Yet when I finally left that fluffy pink room I felt so overwhelmed I could have actually fainted. And I must have looked it, for when Andrew took one look at my bulging eyes, pale skin, and the drool just waiting to drop down my chin, he ran to my rescue with some sort of drink in his hands. When I sipped it I didn't know whether to bite him or thank him. The whisky was so strong it nearly knocked me on my butt. And though it was exactly what I needed, I still had my principles to never drink. Then I truly considered that. Remembering the horrific temper tantrum my lovely daughter had just thrown, the endless string of equally horrific women Andrew dropped on me, and the boring THING that is my life, I grabbed a hold of that whisky and downed the whole glass.
"I'm going, Andy. Tell her I'll pick her up around ... when is this party?"
"Seven."
"Okay, I'll be at her house at 6:30. Can you get me another drink?"
****
The rest of the week came and went, three days of Rini screaming and refusing to eat. But surprisingly I didn't give in. And boy, was I proud of myself. My daughter on the other hand got sent to her room for the first time in her life. It was enlightening to see the anger fade from her face when she finally realized I wouldn't give in to her. She had never before come up against opposition like this and I could see the light of power fading from her eyes. I didn't feel as bad about it as I thought I would.
When that evening came I tugged my white tie into place against the white dress shirt. Then dawned the black dinner jacket and gave a once over to my appearance.
Not bad.
I caught a glimpse of Rini in the mirror and her sad little face made the hard-nosed-Dad-mask crumble. Smiling at her I turned and crouched to receive the tear filled hug. Her eyes were so red and her cheeks so puffy she had obviously been crying for a long time. Those things she couldn't fake.
"Honey, I'm just going out to a party that Uncle Andy invited me to. He has a friend in town that he wants me to take because he already has a date with Aunty Mina. I couldn't tell him no. Besides, Honey, it wouldn't be fair to me. I need to have grown-up fun sometimes." She sniffled loudly and her face scrunched unhappily.
"But I try to be all growned up for you so that you can have grown-up fun. Don't I do it right?" Oh God, how to answer a question like that. Especially with her bright blue eyes staring at me so pitifully.
"Of course you do it right. But Baby Girl, your not a grown-up. You don't need to be. You need to enjoy being a kid, cause you only have one chance at it." I knew I was late now, and try as I might I couldn't keep a small part of me from reminding me of that fact. Funny thing was it wasn't just that small part of me that wanted to go. I really did want to go, for the first time in nearly five years I wanted to go and have fun. I wanted to dance with a beautiful woman and once more be a fun loving adult. I-
Oops, saved by the bell. That would be the new baby-sitter. I actually felt sorry for the teenager waiting outside my door. But she charged a decent price, and besides ... no one else would dare to take this job. I couldn't complain.
"You be good Rini. I am running out of baby-sitters quite quickly. And the next time I go out your gonna get stuck with Old Lady Mitchelle." The horrified look on her tiny face was enough to convince me I had made my point. And the fact that this new baby-sitter came equipped with facials and hot curlers made my leaving an almost joyous experience. Yay!
****
I wish I could say I was just as impressed by the model Andy had talked me into taking out. Oh, don't get me wrong! She had hair like the blackest night sky and eyes like warm honey. She was thankfully still shorter than me, and possessed a figure to temp God himself. But she had the brains of a newt. No, that's not really fair ... to the newt.
The party on the other hand was a raving success. The ballroom was lavish, the food was a culinary masterpiece, and the company, besides my date, was an intellectual thrill. All in all I was fully enjoying myself. Perhaps even drunk a little too much punch. Yes, I remembered my no drinking rule. But people change. And I already knew I would be sending my date home in a cab, why not me as well.
Did I remember to put everything about having fun in past tense? If I didn't, I should have. For while I was having a stimulating conversation on rare diseases I finally learned who the patron of this party really was. You wanna know how I found out? Well, I'll tell you.
She walked up to me and faced me down with a sneer that made her beautiful face quite grotesque. And not the lovely sweep of her golden hair nor the glitter of yellow diamonds against her alabaster skin, which by the way matched her utterly tasteful and elegant yellow satin dress perfectly, could make her look very appealing with that vicious glint in her eyes. Did I manage to compliment her profusely while trying to tell you how hideous she looked? Well, I'll be darned. I did.
"Who the hell invited you?" Do you remember that wood chipper from when I first met her? Well, I realized in that moment just how graceful and lovely yellow satin would look flying about in tiny bits, so long as she was still wearing it. "Was it my pathetic sister? She's always bringing that horrible 'family' atmosphere to things that should be strictly business. You've made your appearance, why don't I call you a cab home."
Maybe it was the excess punch, maybe it was this newfound power and adult sense I had about myself, either way I found myself walking steadily toward her and leaning my face down towards hers. For a brief moment I saw her eyes widen in shock, or fear, or something like it. Then narrow into icy blue slits. I should have apologized, excused myself, and enjoyed a nice rerun of "I Love Lucy" on TV. Um, did I mention I had already drunk far too much for a person who doesn't drink? Good, I want that on the record for future reference.
I would like to think I blacked out and woke up with my body doing something I could blame on an alternate personality or something. But, unfortunately I was fully aware of every stupid movement I made.
I was aware of sliding my arm around her tiny waist and how smooth and soft her hip was under the grip of my hand.
I was aware of the slender hands that ran up my chest as if to push me away and yet never did.
I was aware of the true falsity of her anger just before I bent my head down and triumphantly claimed her blood red lips. I recognized, if only partially, the foggy and yet electric feel of my body in response. I recognized the soft and supple feel of her lips that were so much more than perfect. And nearly lost myself to it.
But the fact she was responding to me woke me instantly to the situation. And I pulled myself back from the heaven I had tasted.
Her red lipstick was slightly smeared and her bottomless blue eyes were still slightly dazed and confused. It made me wonder if she had ever actually been kissed before in her life. And when the anger began to flood back into her face I realized I hadn't just overstayed my welcome, I had decimated it.
"You bastard. Who the hell do you think you are?" Her voice shook, but I think I was the only person to hear it. "Get out of my house now. And I hope I never see you again until the end of eternity."
"Till then." Why the hell did I say that? That's it, who took control of my body and how can I get rid of him?
I did have the dignity though to very calmly walk out of the party, nodding a curt good-bye to my date. And only when in the comfort of a cab, because I really did have too much to drink, I let the dignity slide away.
"Stupid idiot! Have you lost every ounce of functioning brain cells? What the hell made you kiss her? You should win the award for 'Biggest Loser in the World.' What are you going to say to Andrew? How are you going to face yourself in the morning? And why do you have to be too truthful to blame it on the punch!" Needless to say, the cabby tried his damnedest not to stare at me and laugh. Which would have made it just that much better. The perfect end to a perfectly lousy evening.