Wheeeee (Smiley face) I'm finally finished my revision of this crazy update. I said this story was never going to continue... I'm such a terrible liar!
Okay, not totally. This story isn't really "continuing" per se. I don't have enough middle thoughts to actually create a story; I do however, have haunting visions that fit perfectly with the main title. Therefore, I'll be posting these visions for the sake of someone very special. But there will be no 'real' story continuation; just tidbits to help the settings.
Warning: Asking me to revamp things is a death wish. This original draft from last year was barely two and a half pages in length. Revision: I was at nearly four full pages before breaching original page 2. You'll never know how much of this thing I BS'ed, but hopefully, it came through beautifully. I'm impressed with it, so I'm hoping for satisfaction amongst the masses.
Chapter Game: Name those tunes (lines of song within the story) A shout-out to Zanisha who was the one who got me hooked on this band.
Dedication: There is truly nothing I can say about this wonderful and inspiring author for the words would always understate reality. She started reading this story and told me it inspired her. It was a shock to me, because I never expected this story to be anything except fodder. But what really got to me was her persistence; she hassled me about updating this story ever since she read the first draft. I planned to continue then, but I never had enough to do so. But still she demanded I try. If it wasn't for you, I fear these next two updates would never have been posted...or even completed. Thank you, RedCrow1120. These are for you.
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Fear is slowly seeping into my heart. The hand I used to grasp so tightly has almost fled from my sight. It scared me when my hand passed through yours, but soon I could barely reach it. It keeps drifting further and further away...away into darkness. Don't leave me here alone...Riku... Here in the darkness of my heart...
Deep in Her Heart…Was a Death Most Feared
She wanted to cry…to scream…to tear her heart from her chest to make this reality melt and drop away from her entity. She wanted everything to return to what it should have been…in turmoil, perhaps, but she wanted to be there…
…A new and more hateful thought took her entity as she struggled not to break down before anything even occurred… That maybe she regretted not remaining in the pit of oblivion…behind those doors that should have held her heart…
But nothing brought her solace now. She had returned to the depths of her 'heart' in a wave of exhaustion. She had been struggling to stay within the realm of the conscious, fearing the subconscious existence more than she cared to admit. But she knew it was unavoidable and here she was again…waiting…wondering…
…Fearing…
She bitterly questioned how she had returned, the inquiry being viciously mocked as the jet abyss and disconcerted pulse continued their existence around her, refusing to relinquish her so easily. She knew where her physical essence was, lost within the cave of the Island memories. She knew why it was there too, succumbing to pathetic conclusions and overpowering emotions. She felt tainted…unclean…like a part of her had been smudged and nothing could make it go away. She couldn't face him with that smudge…but she knew the only way to make it go away was to talk to him… She cursed silently, knowing that all she could do now was try and decipher what this all meant, if she ever hoped to look into his aquamarine eyes again.
She didn't want to move, but she knew this hell wouldn't fade until she did. It was up to her to initiate the torment and raping of her sanity …How bitterly unnerving… She couldn't understand what her visions were meant to mean. The first, one that still shook her body at the mildest of nights, brought her the message of what she could only describe as 'fantasy-rant doom'.
-x-
…Your decision… Cannot escape fate… And other such wonders. The worst of the situation though, was her messengers. Four different forms of the one person she couldn't deny caring for, all delivering the same ground statement…in the very words he had spoken during the trialing journey of Kingdom Hearts. She knew it wasn't coincidence those lines were chosen, nor was it obscurity for his form to be the one that brought them. And he brought them again…a few days later, in the same pit of despair. But only one entity this time. An unnerving figure that stood facing away from the one it came to inform…or torture…
But he wouldn't speak to her…not initially anyways. She had stared at his back for countless minutes, frightened to speak…even more terrified not to. She had stepped towards him, questioning his name in hopes that it was him this time. She couldn't identify the others for certain in her previous vision, and was praying she could this time. She didn't know what would have hurt more: his face or another's. She eventually didn't care; all she begged for was some kind of certainty. They could touch her, but she could not do the same… Salty irony… He drew into his rawest form the instant her fingertips caressed his shoulder: pitch, writhing tendrils that took hold of her wrist and spread about her entire body…engulfing…possessing… Only then did his message brush her ears and leave her lying awake with the struggle to breathe and another tear-stained visage.
She was breaking…she knew she was… Helpless, weak, scared… She could barely keep herself together when she first began to feel warm emotions; emotions that made her feel real and happy. And even that, she had him to help ease the transition.
Cold, alone, lost. Things she should have been used to…now the slayers of her mind and heart.
-x-
She didn't know what her visions were supposed to represent, but there was one underlying theme that seemed to be clear. Chilled, her arms clung to each other tightly; almost imaging the fear she was experiencing about her and the boy she loved. Shaking--desperately holding on though reality intended for the connection to deteriorate into dust.
They hadn't spoken in a week; hadn't seen each other at all for that matter. She didn't want to believe that these horrible visions were trying to symbolize the destruction of them, leaving two solitary and no longer functional halves. But what else was she supposed to expect after such unarguable proof?
Her teeth bit into her trembling lip fiercely, almost determined to draw blood, and her arms tightened, fearful that her heart was looking for a gap in its chain bindings and just waiting to escape. She shook her head viciously to eliminate the idea, but the evidence was too demanding to ignore.
…Focus on what cannot lie…
She knew why he was feeling the way he did. It seemed impossible that the older one would feel threatened by the younger power, but he was never one to be on the majority side. She thought a mutual trust amongst the four of them should have been enough to prevent this, but she knew little of this category and did the only thing she thought would help: Ask Kairi and Sora for help. She wasn't an expert in the category, but she also knew that Riku was over-reacting. Problem was, she didn't know how to ease this situation without telling him something that she had neither the guts nor the hopes of explaining.
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'Misty… I think it might be best if you talked to Riku about these visions…''That's a brilliant idea, Kairi. There's just one thing I've been having trouble with… "Hey, love. Guess what? I'm currently being plagued by visions of your many forms giving me ominous messages that are ironically your very words." That being said, let's have dinner.'
'Misty…'
'Or maybe, "my dreams seem to think that we shouldn't be together anymore. How does that make you feel?" … Not to mention we haven't spoken in a week and I'm terrified to confront him…'
'He won't speak to me either.'
'Oh, Sora. I'm sorry… This is all my fault.'
'Try not to be too hard on him. His reaction is understandable. You tell him that nothing's going on and yet, you're not talking and spending every moment here.'
'I know, Kairi. I know…'
'Misty… D-Don't cry… We'll think of something.'
'Sora…'
'You have to tell him, Misty! Hiding and keeping quiet won't change anything.'
'I know, Kairi! But I can't… I… I can't!'
'Wait, Misty. Come back!'
-
The words echoed in her skull; she knew it was wrong to keep Riku in the dark…but she couldn't calculate which reality would bring him more pain. She felt her entire body go on edge at the sensation of a presence slipping into the eerie atmosphere around her. She didn't look; she knew it was pointless. She knew it was there, but it wouldn't appear until it could take the most from her heart. She knew that too. But despite her efforts to stay levelheaded, her sanity was dismantling itself fast. She knew they were in here with her, waiting…watching her body tremble amidst the blackness…listening to her heart pound viciously… It made her sick and terrified to feel so vulnerable and exposed to them.
…So exposed to the darkness that was once her strength…
She started to run, and eventually broke into such a furious sprint that she feared to stop for the sake of her legs remaining in one piece. But she could still feel that presence all around her, wrapping its icy claws around her heart and tightening violently. She closed her eyes to stop the burning of those bitter salt emotions, but they seared through her skin regardless. It hurt. Everything was hurting. She didn't know how to make it stop, make the pain go away. She was trapped…trapped in her own oblivion.
Her body exploded with pain as she, in her blind state of unmonitored running, slammed into what felt like an iron wall. The collision flung her backwards in accordance with the unreasonable laws of Physics; she didn't know what she hit, but she knew it didn't move as it ceased her 'escape'. Her head cracked off the invisible force that kept her from falling through the nothingness, sharp daggers stabbing through her mind. She couldn't breathe, couldn't think…everything hurt. Her eyes were shut deeply in anguish, red flashes filling her closed vision. Agonized salt burned beneath her eyes, her chest begging her to breathe. She knew she was theirs now…and she was never going to forget that.
Chills took her as the object she slammed into whispered her name gingerly, almost affectionately. She didn't want to look at him; fearing what events would ensue if she did. But she had to, for she farther feared that he would do more than whisper her name if she didn't. She recognized the voice with little effort; she knew his voice all too well. A voice she loved and dreaded now…
"Riku…?"
"Yes… Come with me…" Forcing her eyes to cooperate and reveal to her the image of her darkened fate, the pained girl gazed up at the shadow-faced boy that resembled her Island-bound Riku. Tears caressed her cheeks at the twisted comfort that form brought; it was her light, her guardian, her heart…now a figure of torment and despair. It hurt so much…
"Come… Take my hand." He offered it to her, his entity holding out the safety and comfort she desired earnestly. But his face…hidden beneath those obsidian shadows…it shot his 'sincerity' all to hell. Biting back the agony her entity was wrought with, she furiously rejected the invitation and knocked his hand away. She brought herself upright, glaring at the image in an attempt to ignore the pounding of her skull and the throbbing of everything else. He turned to fully face her, offering his hand again. Her breathing tattered and worn, she eased herself backwards, trying to retreat into the shadows. She doesn't get far though; as if she had hoped she would. Obsidian hands with indigo tipped fingers gripped her biceps firmly, pulling her backwards to the owner.
"Accept the darkness in your heart. The way you always have." The icy chill of death swarmed her skin at the touch of his exposed muscle-like body, filling her blood with panic and loathing. Out of pure instinct, though driven by distaste, her elbow connected with the entity's ribcage and she broke away tearfully. Whipping around to keep the two of them in sight, she shook violently at the sight of them. Their shadowed faces were unnerving, but the burning holes in her skin made her know that their eyes were watching her intently…more intently than she ever wanted anyone's eyes to be on her entity.
"Have you forgotten who you are? What you are? You thought you could escape?" She didn't even have to look, though her traitorous eyes glanced in that direction anyhow, to realize that her third messenger of "fate" had completed the trinity-triangle behind her. His words struck her the hardest though, bringing the foreboding dread that her life was not her own…that it still belonged to the darkness. She forced the distracting and irrational conclusions into the reserve section of her mind, knowing that her mind was already vulnerable enough and didn't need to be diverted. They weren't moving, but their auras were enclosing her, crushing her heart beneath their darkened grasps. She slowly turned to face the unknown version of her fate-messengers, sizing up her situation and watching around for a chance of escape. She was faltering though. She knew that they were aware of her thoughts, her intentions…but she had no choice. She couldn't read what they were planning for her and she knew her adrenaline spike would drain her body soon, which left her little choice options.
Making to dodge between the original two messengers, she leapt backwards and watched their reactions carefully. Timing herself, she barely escaped the barricade and flung herself forward, taking advantage of the slightly enlarged gap between the Heartless one and the Unknown. Though his face was shadowed and she knew that another blindfold was tied around his head, she felt his eyes pierce her soul and shamefully expose her…she felt stripped beneath his gaze and it affected her far more than she would consciously realize. His rain-soaked glove closed viciously about her wrist before she could get far, striking her with defeat and terror. Her body acted on its own, her autonomic nervous system shifting into 'fight', as she whipped around to drive her fist into the jaw of her captor. Her arm screamed in pain as she wrenched it violently to complete her action, but it became nothing, her mind in utter chaos. Her strike was halted though, coming to a dead stop at the realization that her target was no longer a form. Writhing black tendrils possessed her wrist now, the atmosphere seeming to awaken and claim its prey. It fed off her shock and fear, taking in her gasps and feeding its insatiable hunger for her vulnerable state of heart.
…Swallowed up by the sound of my screaming…
She felt herself try and break free, struggling to pointlessly run, but the shadows clamped down upon her other wrist and reeled her backwards. Her lungs compressed at the impact against what felt like solid steel, releasing a good portion of what precious air she had managed to retain. Her tears of wrought emotion flew into the abyss upon contact, her entire body arching in pain before slumping upon her slate of imprisonment. Pain and terror taking control of her rationality, she began to struggle violently against her restraints, only to come to much graver realizations. Her movements became almost non-existent as the shadow drew in her arms and the lower sections of her legs. Despite her attempts to suppress it, her larynx dislodged a small scream as two individual tendrils wrapped around her waist and her throat. She knew what it was meant to read:
…Escape? Hah! You can never escape yourself…or your darkness…
She wouldn't relent; she refused to surrender herself to the shadows. Her movements were shallow, but still she struggled against the blackness that bound her. But like quicksand, the more she twisted and fought, the faster it possessed her. The tendrils around her waist and throat tightened, threatening to pierce her flesh is she so desired to die. At this point, she wanted to, but her body wouldn't let her. Just like your lungs eventually force you to breathe when you keep from doing so or when you try so hard to stay awake and you fall asleep regardless, her body forced her to stop moving…refusing to die. An act of self-protection won over personal wishes. She had never realized the complexities to the heart-body connections of those who lived in the light.
Brokenly, she stared forward, watching in fear as her messengers slowly appeared, one by one, and began towards her. Their mouths were exposed now, leaving above their noses in shadow still. Each of them bore a malevolent smirk, each one chilling her blood in its own personal fashion. The smirk…it had been one of the most precious things she remembered about Riku, that expression always filling her heart with a smile that she couldn't erase. It was special to her…his special signature of sorts… To see it twisted and mocked so brutally brought such anguish to her chest.
They began to recite their original messages, those that they brought to her originally, in her primary vision. Their voices merged, their words entwined together. Audibly, no one could make them out…at least no one that hadn't known what they were from past experience. But she couldn't hear them around her, those messages of destruction. No… They cascaded through her mind as though every syllable owned the chaos-endowed space. Weaving in and over the other, drowning her sanity and making her entity beg for silence. They were quiet, but the volume would increment variably…testing her, breaking her. Daring each other, the words slid over her spine and played in her body, claiming her for their own.
…Tainted…stained… She couldn't face him…
"Stop it! All of you stop!" She could still hear them, wrapping around her heart. Forgetting her situation, she fought desperately to get free…to get away from the rasping voices in her head. "It doesn't make sense! What do you want with me? Who are you?" Her cries fell short to the pressure on her throat and she again drew still. Her salt emotions felt so hot on her iced flesh, like someone was dragging a hot dagger down her cheeks repeatedly. She felt so scared that fear only grew at the knowledge. But it wasn't enough for them. They aimed to break her of all doubt, of all mitigating factors…
Sanity…connections…emotions…
Slowly, they began to dissipate into black shadows, inky forms that twisted and writhed mockingly, and soon began merging into each other; all to create a single entity that both encompassed all of them and held nothing of their previous entities. She shook uncontrollably at the sight that claimed her tattered viridian eyes: The 'Anti-Riku' Heartless image that ripped away her sanity in her first vision. A small flash indicated the finished metamorphosis, the grave reality of the situation digging away at her heart like a relentless child.
…Cannot cease for the fear of silent nights…
They were invisible from a face-on encounter, but she could feel his formless lips open to the atmosphere…feel them as they slowly drank in her essence and drained away her life. A distorted voice breathed over those lips…distorted tone of the silver paladin that its form represented. Her tears tasted so bitter…
"Is this the answer you've been looking for?"
Her response was a shattered whimper, her breathing growing irregular. "No…"
"No?" He stepped closer, breathing in the taste of her emotions, feeding off her terrified heart. "You asked who I was, didn't you?"
"Please, let me go…" Her voice sounded so pleadingly that she began to feel pathetic. A faint memory dusted about her mind at what she was and what she had become, a foreign wave of hatred passing over her heart. But it wasn't yet potent enough to breach her voice. "What do you want from me?"
The mutated voice countered with an unconcerned 'hmph' as though it was concerned with something within her rather than the question itself. She knew that if his lips were visible, or even existed for that matter, they would have taken that precious smirk in her heart and raped it of its true meaning. The thought cut her so deeply. The snap of its shadowed fingers tore through her skull as her restraints pulled her to eye level, leaving her displayed in a sick torture of passion. Its mist-like hand rose arrogantly from its side, reaching delicately for her face and resting icily upon her cheek. It possessively brushed whatever tears it could reach with that one hand; its touch felt like acid to her heart.
She tore her face from its grasp, now trumping her body's act of protection and choosing death to this torture. She could feel the cold tendrils begin to bite at her skin, slowly revealing her crimson tears to her pale flesh. A murmur of discontent caressed its 'mouth' and it quickly tightened its fingers around her chin, cupping it to the palm in the process. As if it were unapproved of her suicidal decision, its cold, merciless eyes finally open. Paralysis again took her battered form, causing her struggles to fall dead and leaving her in his control. The thought made her sick…so helpless and exposed…
…Immobilized by my fear…
His tarnished orbs glinted excitedly at the flurry of emotions chaotically spread within her shaking viridian eyes. It could taste her hate, and drew sick pride in being able to tear it from her heart. Tauntingly, he brought his miasmic face close to hers, feasting on her emotion-doused breath. Blinking slowly, his distorted voice filtered around her again, the damning in his tone rivaled only by his words.
"His voice will leave you…"
She still couldn't move, frozen inside. The claws of emotion ripped at her chest, slashing at her ribs and spilling tears of bloody crimson all about her heart. She couldn't cease the external emotion either. She felt so disgusted with herself, that hatred growing stronger. But those words echoed hollowly about her thoughts, despite her anger…
…Soon to be…blinded by tears…
Though seemingly amused at her reaction to its message, the shadow creature still wasn't satisfied with the current state of her heart. It brought its face closer, gingerly claiming her tear-splashed lips as its own. She tried so desperately to jerk away, but she felt more drained with every passing second that its entity had contacted hers. A gag reflex had instinctively risen to her throat, but it refused to move any farther; trapped, halted, incapable…she didn't know, but it still worsened her sanity. This was happening; she couldn't deny it. She hated this thing with such a dark and powerful passion. But feeling such rage only increased her suffering; she had only felt that anger then. To feel it back within her flesh was indescribable…
…I want to die…
After a moment of silent hell, it pulled away from her; raw pleasure and sickening satisfaction shined within that hateful aureate. Its hand finally relinquished her chin to claim another possession. She gasped hurtfully as its Heartless fingers traced an icy line down her sternum and took hold of her precious pendant…
…Tattered everything else that she loved about him… Was this so different?
The stone cried broken tears as the treasured ocean colour of the stone died and became pitch black. Its hand gently flattened the tainted pendant onto her sternum and drew a flickering, yellow tinged light from her chest. She felt her eyes cloud over as all warmth left her body with that tiny orb and he finally stepped away from her to hold the tiny ball above his palm. Her violent restraints slowly began their completion of taking her body into the darkness that spawned it. As her vision faded into the obsidian chasms that surrounded her she saw the final form of that enigmatic light…and a black hand that slowly came around it.
…An inimitable star…two leafs upon two adjacent points…a treasure of the Islands that represented something very special for those who dared give it away…
All she could do was hear…a haunting sound that would follow her through the deepest darkness…the most blinding light…and the most neutral state in-between…
It sounded like shattering glass, but she knew it was much more than that…
…So hollow inside…
-
Her chest hurt. Something was repeatedly pounding on it. She couldn't understand why it hurt, why it was being so wrongfully abused. She wanted to see why, but her eyes wouldn't open. Her hands wouldn't move. But everything hurt. Everything…
Voices were screaming, but they barely amounted to whisper. They sounded so familiar, but she couldn't recognize them. Something else was screaming…deep in her chest. It felt like her lungs. She couldn't understand how her lungs could be screaming or how they could be overpowering actual voices. The pain in her chest kept increasing, though the external pounding was matching it fairly evenly. She was so confused.
One word immediately caught fire within her thoughts and smouldered deeply in her mind:
Breathe!
Wasn't she breathing? She thought she was. Her lungs were screaming so loud; she couldn't concentrate. Her sternum was begging for mercy from the vicious onslaught that tortured it. Her breath…she could feel it – lodged in her throat. She focused on it, willing it to move, begging…
A final shot tore through her chest as that bubble of air was finally freed from her throat and cascaded into the atmosphere. Her body gasped violently, repelling another strike from her breastbone. She flipped onto her side, coughing viciously to gather oxygen as thief would to rare jewels.
…If only she knew the irony of such a metaphor…
"Misty! Damn you, what were you thinking?" She could barely make out the voice, her thoughts once again a victim of chaos. But despite all confusion, despite her pain, physical and otherwise, one thing remained fresh and dangerous within her.
"Coming here without telling anyone! How could you do something so stupid?" She felt someone's arms ease her upwards into a seated position, taking note of the different voice that now chastised her. But she still could not acquiesce their concern with such images still raw in her heart.
"You're so lucky that Sora thought to look here!" Misty felt tears from the speaker as they raced down the anguished girl's face. "Your heart just stopped! Damn you, why would you come here all alone!" She still didn't react; her life had faced such danger, and yet, she couldn't react, its importance not registering within her. She started to shake, emotions racking her confused and drained entity. Her breathing quickened and her eyes began to burn once more. She felt the one who supported her entity whisper her name with concern, and she finally shattered. She fell into Sora's chest and cried out of sheer terror and hopelessness.
"They won't stop! They keep getting worse! What am I supposed to do?" Sora hesitated; never had he seen the alleged 'Heartless' key so dangerously fragile before. He felt guilty comforting her like this, especially knowing how angry Riku was at that particular time, but she was slipping from the cliff of sanity. And he was afraid of losing her over everything else. He held her gently, grateful that she was still breathing and beckoned Kairi over. Once Kairi was close enough, Misty's words cut through the night air like a knife. They reverberated through that Island cave as though to haunt it for the rest of their lives.
"Don't tell Riku anything… He can't know about this…"
…This truth drives me into madness…
-
--No one was aware of the hurt presence beyond the confines of those stone walls. He'd been so concerned until it became clear that it was 'Kingdom Hearts' all over again. Abandoned… Forgotten… No…worse… Refused…--
…Blurring and stirring the truth and the lies…