Challenge from: Atlantis (Atlantis2 on )

Line: "Kuno, would you PLEASE stop staring at my ass? And while I'm at it, you too Kaiba!"

Pairing: Seto/Téa

Universe: Yugioh/Ranma

Note: I know Mazaki is Anzu's surname in the Japanese version of YGO which is why I used it as Téa's mother's maiden name.

The In-Laws

by Kysra

Usually, Seto Kaiba would not be caught dead in this place with these people; unfortunately, Seto Kaiba's brother had different ideas.

The reunion was a boisterous cacophony of yelled congratulations, brawling insults, and tinker bell laughter, and all he wanted to do was rescue his brother from the – no doubt – torturous conversation currently being pressed upon him by the overwhelming presences of Akane Saotome and her erstwhile rival-friend . . . What was her name again?

He watched the brunette smile brightly at one of Mokuba's smooth compliments (Seto had no clue as to where his brother learned such charming behavior but he knew it wasn't from him!), taking in the bright blue eyes, the silky looking, nearly burgundy strands that cut across her forehead and brushed their ends against her rear.

Her shape was familiar yet strange, tugging at a memory that didn't exist; and as he struggled with the puzzle, his eyes never left her form even as she turned her back to him.

She was a vision in a blue dress that hugged the ample bosom and fairly caressed the rounded posterior. He gave a small gasp of recognition when – apparently caught up in acting out some humorous story or another – she began to jump repeated on the balls of her feet causing the sweet curve of her derriere to bounce alluringly.

Seto knew that bounce. He owned that bounce.

And as he stood there – utterly enthralled with his own little fantasies – he was completely deaf to the frustrated curse of a woman on the rampage before he was jerked to half-bending, half-stooping by a very firm hand clutched around his tie, "Kuno, would you PLEASE stop staring at my ass? And while I'm at it, you too Kaiba!"

Blinking owlishly in a rare unguarded moment, the aforementioned Kaiba looked over to his immediate right, where the aforementioned Kuno was also half-bending, half-stooping due to a firm hand fisted in his very elegant, very expensive kimono. The two men gave each other a long, measuring look before Kuno dared to open his mouth, "I was not aware you were acquainted with the lovely Ukyou Kuonji, Cousin."

Sparing a glance for the irate woman who had so thoroughly suffered his inappropriate attentions only moments ago, Kaiba answered, "I don't believe we've been introduced."

"Ah," his moronic cousin sounded satisfied, "Then, I have erred most tragically! Let us exchange names and become friends!"

But the woman had let them go with a snort of derision even as she planted well-formed fists upon shapely hips, "I'm Ukyou Kuonji. You are Seto Kaiba. No introductions are necessary." That last was directed – with a pointed glare – at the Kuno heir apparent.

"I was not staring at your ass." Simple. Blunt. Kaiba.

"Your brother was the one who informed me of it."

Seto made a mental note to hide all the chocolate when they returned home, "Obviously he was hallucinating."

"Sorta like you were when I stalked on over here."

Before he could retort, his other cousin – the female psychopath, Kodachi – sidled up to him before giving an ear-piercing laugh and latching onto his arm, "Seto-darling, it's time for family pictures!"

Rolling his eyes heavenward, he replied, "I'll be just a moment."

Strange, violet eyes shot nearly visible electric shocks toward the woman in blue, this Ukyou Kuonji, before Kodachi glided toward the small group huddled near the photographer.

"So, you're the Kunos' cousin?" She seemed a bit uncertain.

"Something like that." He wasn't all that comfortable talking about his connection to this family of nut-cases.

"I bet you can't guess who my cousin is. She lives near you. Goes to the same school. She might even be why you were staring so intently at my ass."

"I wasn't –"

"Save it."

"I don't know."

"You don't know your own fiancée?"

He couldn't help the slight flush from forming on his face, "Téa?"

Kuonji smiled, "Yeah. I got the invite to the wedding, and I was going to come over to introduce myself later but . . . "

Seto coughed, feeling slightly embarrassed but covering it with an irritated glare, "I see."

"And don't feel bad. All of us Mazaki gals got the bubble-butt."

"Mazaki?"

"Her mom and my mom are sisters."

"Oh." You learn something new everyday.

Like when to get the hell outta Dodge, because suddenly . . .

She glomped him with a bright yell, "So that means we're future cousins-in-law! Welcome to the family!"

It was too late to stop his current cousin-in-law, Nabiki Kuno, from taking the incriminating photograph.

A photograph his little brother smartly used to get all of his chocolate released from grounding when they returned home.