27 Feelings of guilt

I shouldn't have created Gaara. Even my own wife was in disagreement with the idea. I should have killed him when I had the chance.

Kazekage

When Naruto dreamed about being a shinobi, he had dreamed of fighting hundreds and hundreds of enemy shinobis. He had never dreamt of fishing for an hour so he could eat lunch without catching anything. Besides, it was damn hot! As soon as he becomes the next Hokage, he would issue an order for all fishes to...

In that moment Naruto felt a push from behind. The ground gave way. He yelled as he fell onto the water.

"What?" He screamed as he stood up in his feet in the water. There was a shinobi smiling in a mischievous way on the shore.

"Good shinobis must always be aware of the surroundings. They must never be caught in surprise. Control Earth and you will control Heaven." Explained Sasuke in a teaching-voice. It had taken years for the self-appointed Avenger to be able to even think about acting with mischief. However an amused smile was flying around his face now. Never really appearing, but never leaving either.

Naruto growled as he tried to walk to approach the shore. His orange suit was glued to his skin and its weight was pushing him down. Sasuke sighed. He gripped a twig and stretched his other hand to help the drenched Naruto to get out of the stream. He couldn't believe he had actually pushed Naruto. Doing such an unnecessary thing was very out of his character. He even thought to apolo...

"Uh?" That was everything Sasuke was able to mutter as Naruto grabbed his arm in surprise and pulled him into the water. Sasuke's grip of the twig wasn't strong enough against the sudden tug. Sasuke's eyes were widened in shock as he went flying straight into the river.

"YOU!" Sasuke yelled rising from the water.

"Good shinobis must always be aware of their surroundings. They must never be caught in... Control Heaven and you will control Earth" countered Naruto copying Sasuke's words, and mistaking them.

Sasuke had to hold a chuckle.

With the very typical and patented angry Uchiha stare, Sasuke stood up and started to walk towards Naruto.

"Uh? Sasuke, you aren't angry. Are you?"

"Naruto. I am Uchiha Sasuke, the last of the Uchiha clan. I have been living eight years as an Avenger. I don't forgive anybody!" Yelled Sasuke splashing him with cold water.

Naruto hadn't expected the water, and he had to shake his eyes. He also heard a sound very unusual that somehow made his heart flutter.

It was Sasuke's laugh, packed with genuine glee. It was a happy sound.

"I am going to be the future Hokage! I will not lose to anybody" yelled a very happy Naruto splashing Sasuke with water.

"You idiots! You are going to catch a cold! Get back NOW!" yelled Sakura from the camp.

Sasuke and Naruto smiled to each other as they started to walk towards the shore. They were going to apologize to her... and push her into the water as soon as she was...

Sasuke abruptly remembered... How did he know that? This particular scene... Didn't it happen already? Just before the Jounin exams?

He turned around to ask Naruto, but only his body was there. His head had disappeared. Sasuke shook his head and looked at it again. The headless body was still. Naruto's head was floating. His dead eyes were staring at him.

"It's your fault" the bodiless head said. Sasuke recoiled in horror.

"Sakura! Kakashi! Naruto is...!" Yelled Sasuke looking to the camp. Sakura was glaring at him suddenly missing an eye. The empty spot where the eye was supposed to be was crying in red tears. Kakashi was staring at him with Mangekyou Sharingan eyes.

"It's your fault" said Kakashi sounding like Itachi.

"What the?" Asked Sasuke in strangled voice. He felt the headless Naruto getting closer repeating over and over behind him.

"It's your fault. It's your fault. It's your fault."

Sasuke fell on his knees in the river. The water was now covering his whole body, including his head. Funny enough, he wasn't drowning. He could still breath... and hear the accusations of Kakashi and Naruto. He stood up, only to see that the empty spot was growing, swallowing Sakura.

"SAKURA!" Sasuke yelled running towards the shore. He tried to concentrate chakra in his feet for jumping, but somehow his chakra control was off. Sasuke ran desperately trying to somehow save Sakura

He reached her when the nothingness had swallowed most of her face. Only the mouth was left. Yet she managed to say something.

"It's your fault."

It was that moment Sasuke started drowning. Breath was not coming to his lungs. Sasuke fell on his knees, trying to reach for Sakura, Naruto, Kakashi, his family, his brother... anybody. However nobody was there. Everyone was dead. It was his fault, after all, because he was weak. If he didn't have strength, he didn't have anything.

Sakura woke up in the hospital. She rolled her head to the side to see someone's head on the bed beside her. Black hair? Sasuke!

She smiled softly. She moved her arm with a bit of effort. She gently slid her fingers into his hair trying to awake him.

It was a startling awakening. Sakura saw him opening violently his eyes. He looked at her with a fearful expression. He started to look around for somebody else. Sakura knew whom he was looking for.

He squeezed his eyes closed for a few seconds gritting his teeth with a haunted expression. She could see all the hurt and self-loathing in his face. He finally opened his eyes and he managed a smile, raising his face to look at her.

"Sorry, I fell asleep. How are you doing?" Said Sasuke with a big smile. Sakura wondered why he was apologizing. Was sleeping a sin?

"I'm doing fine. How are you doing?" Asked Sakura. She could see Sasuke was far paler and gaunter than she was, and she was the one hospitalized.

"Great." He looked at her as if he were surprised by the question. "Seriously Sakura, when are you going to stop asking the same question over and over?"

"When you tell me the truth" Sakura answered looking with her left eye straight at his eyes.

Sasuke closed his eyes shaking his head, with a smile. The expression was probably trying to be one of amusement. However while the smile was one of amusement, the rest of the face somehow was not. Sakura frowned.

"You should concentrate on recovery. Team 7 is lonely with just Kakashi and me. As soon as you are better you can join us again." Assured Sasuke with a confident smile.

"Being realistic, I don't think I'll ever be able to join up with you guys again." Said Sakura.

Pause. Sasuke wavered for a second as if he had been hit. Just for a second.

"You are being too pessimistic. I think..." Sasuke continued on talking, with exactly the same confident smile as before.

"Without my right eye I'm weaker at taijutsu. My left hand was crushed in the fight against Itachi. My speed for making seals has decreased. It's going to take me a lot of rehab to be able to take my former speed. I know you have been trying to get me a prosthetic leg. Again, rehab is going to take me a lot of time. Even when rehab is finished I'm going to be less dependable than before. Besides, I don't even think the Leaf will let me be a shinobi like before."

"Don't be an idiot." Pleaded Sasuke." It will be a little long, but..."

"You would never trust any team-member in my condition. Listen, I don't like to lie to myself. It's not that I'm not going to be a shinobi anymore. But it's going to be really hard to reach the level I used to have."

Sasuke had always been very composed. He didn't even appear bothered. He was quite good at hiding his feelings.

Sakura stretched her hand to caress his hand, when he instinctively snatched away his hand. After a few surprised seconds, he smiled and took hold of her hand.

This time it was Sakura who pulled away her hand.

"Sasuke, please leave. I am tired. I need to sleep" She said.

"OK." He said without making any objections like he usually did. He leaned on her and kissed her cheek, staying the farthest apart from the place where her missing eye used to be. Now there was only a bandage there. He left.

Sakura knew Sasuke would just lean on the door outside and wait until the nurse threw him out when the time for visits was over. She had noticed that Sasuke had never kissed her in her lips since she had been injured. Sakura frowned. Sasuke could be accused (and had been accused many times) of multiple things. However he had never been a liar. She was making him a liar now. For two weeks he had been coming to visit her every day. He was showing a relaxed face with her and was making small talks, which something he usually hated to do. However he always appeared more tired and the bags in his eyes were only growing larger. Still he dodged all her questions always.

He was trying his best to comfort her, but he was the one suffering the most. Usually she could encourage him to talk to her, but she couldn't anymore. She was very worried about him, but she didn't know how to help him.

She tightened her hand into a fist until she felt her nails leaving marks on her flesh.

"Damn you, Itachi!" She muttered. His rotten brother-in-law was hurting the person she loved. Itachi had cut the connection she and Sasuke had built over the last three years. She didn't know how to repair it, or even if it could be fixed.

Sasuke took another combat pill to fight the sleep. Next he lit another cigarette and started quickly to smoke it before anybody could order him to put it out. He was running out of dead people to smoke.

He took a long drag and sighed. Sakura was too perceptive, as always. It was true. Team 7 was finished. Naruto was dead. Sakura's days as field shinobi were over. Hell, after that fake Kakashi had appeared, he couldn't even trust Kakashi anymore.

However that way of thinking was not positive for recovery. Sakura had to get better.

"Damn it!" He said.

Kakashi looked at Sakura as she walked with her new crutches. Her eyes did not have the usual shine and her mouth had a semi-permanent frown. It still hurt him every time he saw her, although Sasuke was having a far harder time because of survivor's guilt

"It's really helpful that tradition says that funerals can be held long after the person dies" was commenting Sakura. "When I was a kid I used to think that it was silly. It makes sense if you consider that many times shinobis are not in the village but doing missions for the village and need time to come back. We even have people coming from Sand Country, or from Wave Country."

"Sakura. Why didn't you ask Sasuke to accompany you to the funeral?" Asked out of the blue Kakashi.

"I didn't want to ask him. I wanted him to go for himself. If I ask him, he will go but that's not his will and I would feel like I was forcing him. I want him to go for himself."

"Are you sure he will go?"

Sakura raised her eye brusquely.

"What do you mean? Of course he is going! It's Naruto's funeral! There is no way Sasuke is going to miss it!"

Kakashi looked away. Sakura swore under her breath

"Kakashi. How is Sasuke doing? Please, don't lie to me. I need to know the truth. He won't tell me anything."

Kakashi wondered to himself how he could tell her the truth. Well, Sakura, you see. Do you remember how Sasuke used to be? Wasn't he always alone and afraid to make relationships with anyone? Don't worry Sakura. He is not like before. He is much worse. He has been training non-stop not for hours for days. And I really mean non-stop. Would you like to know his daily schedule? He trains non-stop all night until it's time to visit you in the morning. He takes a shower then visits you with that fake relaxed smile. After that he goes to train until it's time to visit you in the evening. Then he goes training again all night. Now, you are wondering when he sleeps. Ok. He doesn't. He survives thanks to combat pills that he has been taking constantly for not sleeping. Hai, now he is a pill junkie. Did you mention that he fell asleep yesterday? Well, that's great! That's the second nap he had taken in two weeks! What about eating? Well, have you noticed that for the last two weeks Sasuke has been losing weight? Well, he doesn't really eat normal food anymore. He hunts. He hunts and eats the food of the animals he hunts. I guess it's because he wants constant training. His training is being quite brutal, by the way. Leaf Country is named after the great number of trees, right? Well, I hope you can calm him down before he changes that. Sixty-three trees has been down and counting. Did I mention about the fights? He has been constantly getting into brawls. Of course, all proof show that it was always self-defense. How do I know all this? That's because the ANBU has been keeping a constant watch on him. Top-notch guys this time, just in case he wants to run away from us again to Orochimaru. We are very concerned with his mental state. I mean, how long can anybody be without sleeping? We are afraid he just may fall down dead any time.

"Sasuke is feeling a little guilty, that's all" was all what actually Kakashi said.

Still one hour to Naruto's funeral, Sasuke noticed. He shrugged, as he continued running and pounding on the broken boulder. He finally stopped

"Your killing intent is giving you away" he warned.

Nobody answered. Then from behind another boulder a person appeared. Sasuke looked at that person. He gasped. It was a shinigami, dressed totally in black, and with skin of the color of white, like a corpse.

Sasuke closed his eyes and shook his head. He opened them again. It was just Hinata, totally dressed in black and an expression of hate.

"I love your new style" he said.

Hinata glared at him.

"You shouldn't do anything you are going to regret in the future. Naruto's funeral is going to be very soon. You shouldn't miss it." Sasuke recommended.

"What for? Naruto's body its not there. You chopped it off remember?" She said nastily.

"Of course I do." Answered Sasuke looking to the floor. He kind of preferred the old shy Hinata who would cry and cry to no end for the death of Naruto. At least that one would not bother him. "What are you going to do about it? Just staying still and regretting?"

After a pause, Hinata said with a very slow voice

"I want revenge."

"Do you understand what you are wishing for?" Asked Sasuke. "Itachi is a real demon. When he was far younger than us he was already strong enough to destroy the strongest clan of the Leaf. The Uchiha clan was entrusted with the protection of the Leaf Village and formed the bulk of the Police Force. Yet, they were worthless against my brother."

"I don't care."

"If you become an Avenger, you will to have desperately search for power. Revenge is just an empty cup with a bitter taste. There will be very few people that even will try to appreciate it. Nobody will truly understand you. And of course, nobody will support you. You will be all alone in your quest. People will try to stop you. They will call your dream a "dangerous obsession" You must be ready to leave your friends, your family and your home. You will have to become an evil spirit hated by all, loved by very few, if any. You will have to destroy all the doubts in your heart. Every second that you are not training or preparing your revenge, your heart will be in pain. Finally, if you happen to succeed, you will only have blood in your hands, blood that will never wash off. Are you prepared for that?"

"Hai" Hinata said. There was no doubt in her voice.

"In that case" Said Sasuke opening his arms as if he was to hug Hinata "Kill me."

"WHAT?" Asked Hinata.

"If you are truly committed to the path of revenge, you must kill me. I am the one responsible for the death of Naruto, anyway. I was too weak to save him." Long breadth "If you kill me you will become an outlaw. That way your path will be set. You won't be able to run away. My brother will also hear about my death. Maybe he will concede you a few seconds of his time to kill you. Are you ready to harden your heart and kill me?"

Hinata didn't move for a few seconds. Her hand went swiftly to her back. Sasuke didn't lower his arms. Hinata doubted for a few seconds. Then she glared at him with an expression of hate. She grabbed a kunai and launched it to the ground. After glaring angrily at him one more time, she ran away.

Sasuke sighed as he picked up the kunai. If his reverse psychology didn't work, Hinata was going to going to go through a rollercoaster of bitterness and pain.

"Is dying your way of feeling alive? Or is it just for atonement?" Asked a new voice.

Sasuke raised his eyes. There was someone on top of the tree watching him with open hostility.

"The only way of atonement for a shinobi is the way of the blood." Sasuke said "I don't know or care how long it's going to take. I don't care about the sacrifices I am going to suffer. I am going to kill that man."

The person glared at him without saying anything. Finally he nodded, very slowly.

"Don't do it" warned Sasuke "That man is too strong. Even for someone like you."

"Maybe" said Gaara of the Sand, Kazekage of the Village of the Sand "but not trying is a sin."

Sasuke smiled sadly.

"I'll see you in hell then."

Gaara nodded as the sand carried him to the ground.

"As you said, you shouldn't do anything you are going to regret in the future. Are you sure you don't want to go the ceremony?" He inquired

Sasuke closed his eyes for a second. Exhaustion was trying to reach him again. He searched his pocket for another combat pill.

"Please, don't repeat my sentences. The person who used to do that is dead. I should know that," Sasuke's eyes turned red "since I cut him to pieces."

Sasuke turned to the boulder planning on continuing training.

"I don't know if this is good or bad, or even if it means anything" said Gaara. Wind started to move, stirring the sand around him. "But I have never been able to care about the people that I have killed or have died because of me" The sand covered him for a second, and then he was gone.

"Whatever makes you sleep at night" commented Sasuke taking the combat pill. He immediately felt the rush of adrenaline. He closed his eyes, feeling the need to sleep disappearing. He opened them... only to see from the corner of his eye a slight unexpected movement on the ground. Sasuke brusquely turned around.

"What the...?" There was nothing on the ground, just his shadow. However he could swear he had seen something... his shadow had changed without any movement from him and there were no clouds on the sky...

Sasuke shrugged. Probably it's his imagination or a trick of the light.

Probably…

And here is the next chapter. Expect the next chapter hopefully soon. Everyone is welcome to send a review and to give your opinions

Since we are here, I wanted to explain something. There are some that have expressed their doubts about two 12-year-old marrying. That's true, that's very unlikely in our society and in our time.

However, since the story of Naruto is situated in another society and time, rules may change. As an example, a marriagefor so youngin Japan in the 16th century (ripe time for the real shinobis) wasn't exactly common but still not unheard of.

Well, anyway, I hope you like this chapter. Please send all the reviews you want. I love hearing from the people that read the story