Fire Emblem 7, The Parody

Chapter 01: Footsteps of Fate

And so, the strange duo of Lyn, swordmistress of the plains, and Cecil, a novice tacticion, set out into the world. Their first stop was Bulger, the commercial center of Sacae and the world's leading capital in bobble head dolls.

Unknown to Lyn, it was there she'd make a discovery that would alter her life forever. As if we couldn't see that coming...

"Welcome to Bulger, the largest city in Sacae!" Lyn grinned, leading Cecil into the city. "We should stock up on supplies here."

Cecil looked around. "Pretty crowded here" he observed. "We'd be best not to get..."

--ZOOM--

"..separated, right Lyn? ...Lyn? Lyn, where'd you go?"

The swordswoman had up and vanished. A mere few seconds later, a man in red armor, riding atop a brown steed, rode up to Cecil. He had a serious look on his face, and short, orange hair. "Excuse me" he said, "but you didn't happen to see a torquoise and brown blur rush by a few seconds ago, did you? My partner spied your companion, and...well..."

"Swept her off her feet?" Cecil asked with a smirk.

"You could say that."

The two looked for both of their companions, who were just around the corner. Atop another horse was a young man with short, brown hair, green armor, and a boyish face. Lyn was let down on the ground, and she was none too happy.

"Oh my heart! What a dazzling vision of loveliness!" the man grinned. "O beautious one, would you not grace me with your name, or better yet, your company?"

Calm down to ten...1...2...3... the nomad girl thought to herself.

"Where are you from, good sir knight, that would speak so freely to a stranger?" Lyn asked through clenched teeth.

"Thought you'd never ask! I'm from Lycia, and hail from the Caelin canton, home to men of passion and fire!" He struck a dashing pose.

4....5.....6...

Lyn strained a joking smile. "Shouldn't that be home to callow oafs with loose tongues?"

"Oh, you are even lovelier when you are cruel." The knight growled.

TEN!

"Okay, you're dead!" Lyn shouted, leaping at the knight.

"Noooo!" Cecil screamed, grabbing Lyn's arm and holding her back.

"Let me at him!" Lyn shouted, her free hand waving her sword around wildly. "I'll kill him! I'll pulverize him! I'll slaughter him if it's the last thing I do!"

The orange haired knight rode next to the brown haired one. "Well, that's another fine mess you've gotten yourself into Sain."

"Ah, Kent, my boon companion. Why need you be so severe?"

"Well maybe if you'd hold your tongue I wouldn't HAVE to be so severe. We've a mission you idiot, so keep focus!"

"Oh, but how could I in the presence of pure beauty? It would be discourteous !"

"That's what you said for the past fifteen towns! Besides, what would YOU know of courtesy?"

"P..pardon my friend, good sir knight" Cecil quickly apologized. "She's a little aggressive around people such as your companion..."

"And I apologize for letting him charge off" Kent said apologetically. "Sometimes, I feel like I must keep him on a leash."

Lyn started to calm down. "At least you seem honorable."

Kent stared at Lyn, looking her up and down. "I'm sorry but...it feels like we have met before..."

Lyn twitched. "I'm sorry?"

Sain went teary eyed. "No fair, Kent! I saw her first!"

"Argh..." Lyn's vein began to bulge. "Seems there are no more decent men among Lycia's knights! Let's go, Cecil! I'm out of patience!" She strode off.

"Technically, I saw her long before either of you" Cecil bragged.

"NOW!"

"Coming Miss!"

"Wait, hold on, I didn't mean it like that!" Kent begged with a shout. "... ... Sain, you smeg head!"

Sain laughed. "Sure it wasn't like that" the younger knight sneered.

"I'm NOT you!" He shook his head, and let out a sigh. "Come on, we have to follow her. She might be--"

"Your girlfriend?" Sain asked accusingly.

Kent glared daggers at Sain.

"I was joking. But seriously, you think she's our mission? You've got to be kidding me!"

"Only one way to find out..."

"Full ahead!" Both shouted, nudging their horses to move.

"Ever get the feeling you're being watched?" Cecil asked.

Lyn looked to the left. Then the right. Then behind. "Nope, we're in the clear." The two continued on.

"Attack to kill?" asked one of the bandits hiding behind the bushes.

"Wait for the signal."

"RAGH!" shouted a loud, monstrous voice.

"There's the signal. Let's go!"

Lyn and Cecil froze, and reached for their weapons. Stepping out of the bushes was a large man with a tattered, dark green shirt, a thick stubble, and gray hair. A long scar traced his eye. "Heh heh, aren't you the pretty one?" he said in Lyn's general direction.

"Yeesh, what is with you perverts today!?" Lyn griped.

"Yer name is Lyndis, is it not?"

Cecil looked over at Lyn. "Wasn't it Lyn?" he asked.

"...Who...are you?" Lyn asked. The gruff looking man apparently struck a nerve.

"Such a waste. An absolute waste. The things I do for gold...ah well. Time to die, darlin'."

Cecil was frantically waving at the bandit. "Ex-ney on the arling-day!"

Lyn's eye twitched. "Okay, NOW I'm pissed! You're dead!"

"Come on out, boys!" the gruff man laughed.

A group of four axemen came from nowhere.

"...Ah crap" both tacticion and swordswoman cursed.

"There she is!" shouted a familiar voice.

As the bandit took a retreat to a more comfortable, chapter boss position, the two horsemen rode up to the two on foot. "We finally caught up to you" panted Sain.

He scanned over the enemy horde, and growled. "Such numbers against a girl? Cowards, every last one of you!"

"I've got a score to settle with you" Lyn grinned evilly, unsheathing her sword a tad.

"Revenge later" Kent interupted. "Right now, let's concentrate on those ruffians. If it's a fight they want, let them look to me!"

"Stand back!" Sain laughed, raising his spear high. "I'll handle this!" With that, he charged towards one of the axemen, spear raised.

"He didn't even give me a chance to give my order of attack" Cecil whined.

Sain pulled back his lance, and thrust forward.

"Sain, wait!" Kent shouted.

The spear drove through the bandit's chest, landing a killing blow. Sain looked over at the orange haired knight. "You say something?"

"... ...I was going to say that a sword would've been a wiser choice of weapon, but, okay then..."

"You know, a sword would be very much appreciated in all respect" Sain grinned.

"...Mook." Kent sighed, and tossed Sain a sword, who caught it with ease.

"Now then, it's my turn. Ya!" Kent kicked his horse's sides, urging it forward. He charged towards an enemy bandit, and sliced him down with one sword swing.

Lyn and Cecil scaned the area for another bandit, when one leaped out and swung his axe. Lyn was quick enough to side step out of the way, and Cecil spun a long, iron pole in the way to block. The axeman leapt back.

"Got him in my sights!" Sain laughed, turning his horse, and charging towards the bandit in the foliage.

"Hold it Sain! Hold your attack!"

With a swift swing, Sain was successful in taking down the bandit. He turned to Kent. "What is it this time?"

"... You know what? Just forget it."

"Hello? I'm still here" said Mister Stubble, waving the team over.

"Ya know, if he were smart, he wouldn't have caught our attention" Cecil smirked.

"And now he pays the price" Lyn nodded, clenching her sword tightly.

All four made the advance towards Stubble Head.

Said Stubble Head's eyes widened. "shit" he squeaked, before trying to run away.

A guy on foot could never outrun a guy on horseback, now, could he? Well, he didn't. Kent drove his lance through Mister Stubble's chest.

"Argh..there was only supposed to be one girl..." he wheezed, before keeling over.

"Now then" Lyn said, after the four had recovered from their battle, "you knights of Lycia...why were you so intent on finding me after I told you off?"

"We've ventured from Lycia, in Caelin, in search of someone" Kent explained.

"That's the country beyond the moutains in the southwest, ain't it?" Cecil asked.

--Whap--

Lyn whacked Cecil over the head with a wooden board. "No interrupting. Now, do continue."

"--ahem-- Yes. We've come as messengers to the lady Madelyn, who eloped some 19 years ago" Kent continued.

"Say, you're nineteen, aren't you Lyn?" Cecil asked again.

--WHAP--

Lyn whacked Cecil a little harder. "I said NO interupting!" She put the board away. "Now...Madelyn?"

"Our lord, the marquess of Caelin's only daughter. He was heartbroken his own daughter would abandon him so. Eventually, he simply declared he had no daughter."

"Took the easy way out, didn't he?" Cecil sneered.

"You're just BEGGING for my worst, aren't you!?" Lyn shouted.

"sorry" Cecil squeaked.

"And just this year" Sain continued, "we got a letter from Lady Madelyn. It said that she, her husband and their daughter were living happily on the Sacae Plains. The marquess was estatic to learn he had a granddaughter of 18 years. I remember the smile on his face when he announced that he suddenly became a grandfather. The granddaughter's name is Lyndis."

"Which was also the name of the marquess' wife before she passed away at a young age" Kent added in. "That she should bear that name thawed the marquess' heart."

"Now his only wish is to meet his daughter's family at least once" Sain finished. "That's why we're here. We didn't know that Lady Madelyn died a few days after sending the letter. In fact, only a few days ago, when we reached Bulgar, did we hear the news."

"But we also learned that all was not lost. The daughter still lives" Kent pointed out. "We heard she was living along on the plains."

"Lyndis...the late Mister Stubble called me Lyndis..." Lyn started laughing. "Wait...you're not suggesting I'M the marquess' granddaughter, are you?"

"Yep" Both knights nodded.

"I mean, come on, is this the face of a princess?" She pointed to her face. Her beautiful, unscarred face. Fully matured, her eyes sparkled like moonlight. Her long, green haired danced in the breeze. Her face just radiated beauty.

"Yes" all three men nodded.

"The resembalnce to your mother is uncanny" Kent put in.

"You knew her?" Lyn perked up.

"I'm sorry to say, I never met her directly" Kent shook his head. "I have seen her protraits in Castle Caelin."

Cecil raised his hand. "Yes Cecil?" Lyn asked calmly.

"May I speak now and not get pulverized?"

"Yes, Cecil, you may."

"How could a common thug like 70% Stubble have known that you were Lyndis?" Cecil asked.

Both knights thought, before Sain punched the palm of his hand. "He must've been a henchman for Lord Lundgren!"

"Lundgren?" Lyn asked, tilting her head. "Who's that?"

"He's the marquess' younger brother" Cecil pointed out. "He wants the throne for himself, like all members of the royal family. And like all younger brothers, he's planning to make sure no one sits on the throne except for him."

"How did you know this?" Kent asked.

"I've...been to Caelin on occasion...during my travels" Cecil stuttered. "And I...sorta...picked up on this kind of thing? Ehe..."

None of the three were buying it.

"CUT!"

"Lundgren?" Lyn asked, tilting her head. "Who's that?"

"He's the marquess' younger brother" Kent explained. "Everyone assumed that Lady Madelyn was gone forever. This made Lundgren the heir to the marquess' title."

"To be blunt, milady" Sain continued, "your existence is an obstacle to your granduncle's ambitions."

"But...I don't want to inherit any title!" Lyn said quickly. "You know where Caelin would go if I were in charge? Straight down the toilet, that's where!"

"Unfortunately, your granduncle is not one to believe that" Sain sighed. "The attempts on your life will, I fear, persist."

"And what do you suggest we do?" Cecil asked.

"Accompany us to Caelin. Continuing on your own is dangerous" Kent explained.

"Well, for lack of anything better to do" Cecil laughed, "we might as well go with."

"Excellent" Sain grinned. "We leave tomorrow!"

"...It's ten in the morning" Lyn pointed out.

"Okay...we leave after lunch. Sound good?"

"I'm cool with that."

"Sounds good to me."

"--sigh-- Whatever."