Chapter 31: The real reason he left.
"Orochimaru was one of the most brilliant shinobis in Leaf's short history. The real reasons why he became a missing-nin are still unknown."
Leaf's History book.
"Nobody in the Leaf ever understood my dreams"
Orochimaru.
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Sasuke knew that he couldn't consume too many combat pills at once. He needed them to last as long as possible, or as long as he could think of a viable plan.
He realized it would be much harder when the illusions became much worse. He spent one third of the time lying awake, watching the corpses of his family and Naruto over and over. The rest of his time was spent in extreme training that left him too tired to waste time wondering about his own future.
It was three days after the bloody meeting with the Sound Four when he started to suffer another nightmare, even if he was awake. His whole body was in pain for too much training. His eye was still swollen. His head had felt like a punching bag the whole day. His hand hurt as it was probably fractured after he had used Chidori one time too many times. He was also drowning.
Technically he knew he wasn't drowning since there was no way there could be so much water in the middle of the forest. Obviously he was dreaming, but… Did it really matter when he couldn't breathe? He was about to pass out when he felt a presence coming closer to him. He tried to fall into the wings of sleep, but a lifetime of training didn't let him. Making a supreme effort he bolted awake.
He slowly rose. He was still on the solid branch he had chosen to rest. It was a miracle he hadn't fallen.
Sasuke took a careful look around. There was somebody out there, but he didn't feel that it was a hostile. He couldn't pinpoint it. That meant the observer was masking his presence, and that meant shinobi. Just in case he took another pill of his dwindling reserves.He caressed for three seconds the second-level curse pill Kabuto had given him. After he glanced to the ground for a few seconds he lit a cigarette.
"Come out!" He demanded.
There was only silence for a few seconds. Afterwards somebody with blond hair jumped and landed in the branch front of him. The new shinobi gazed at Sasuke's bandaged hand and the state of Sasuke's clothes and body odor.
"Look how far has the mighty have fallen." The blonde shinobi commented.
"Long time no see…" Sasuke said politely "…Ino. How did you find me? I was careful with covering my trail."
"It was half-good luck and half-hard work. You told Sakura quite a few times that you'd like to visit Naruto Bridge back when you still talked to her. The Hokage sent a lot of ANBU to the frontier with the Sound with the order of bringing you back dead or alive. Since we knew you had probably gone to Wave Country, we decided to look for you to make sure you were brought back alive. We found the battle zone on the bridge but missed you for one day. We split and started looking for you. I admit it was mostly chance that I found you."
"We? Who is "we"?" Sasuke asked, suspicious as always.
"Well… I brought Chouji and Shikamaru with us. Hinata also joined and she brought Kiba and Shino with him. Plus, Neji from the class above us was informed by Hinata and he said something about some debt with you. Lee said that he didn't want to lose your eternal rival and immediately adhered to the search group."
"I guess it's nice to have so many friends." Sasuke observed.
"Hai! We in the Leaf are a big family where we must always help each other." Ino exclaimed with enthusiasm "We even got your three friends in the ANBU to help us."
"… My three friends in the ANBU…" Sasuke repeated very slowly
"Hai! Even before we thought about looking for you, they immediately said they wanted to help" Ino explained.
Sasuke was not answering. He was staring at Ino, who could not help but blush and squirm under his gaze.
"Why are you looking at me like that?"
"It's nothing. I was just thinking that we're the same age. It's funny, but I have never thought about it." There were a lot of facts in life. One of them was that he wasn't a very social person. Sasuke perfectly knew that he didn't have any friends in the ANBU. He was constantly switching from team to team. He could barely remember his teammates' faces. Three ANBU teammates who wanted to help? No way. Chances were they reported directly to the Hokage. Placing some spies in his circle of known acquaintances had been a smart move on her part." Are you in radio contact with the rest of the search group?"
"Of course. I contacted with them half an hour ago, when I found your trail" She answered with a smile.
Sasuke's headache was getting worse and worse.
There were some things in life that were absolute facts. Fact number one: Ino was still a kid. She was naïve and innocent, like a kid of her age should be. He had been like that, before his brother shook up forever his innocence. Fact number two: He was dead. ANBU were surely getting closer as they spoke.
"What do you want from me?" Sasuke asked exhaling smoke.
"Straight to the point, aren't you, Sasuke-kun?" Ino observed "Well, I want you to go back to the Leaf, and that means N-O-W. Now!"
"I can't. I…"
"I know, I know. You lost control when you were with Sakura and you couldn't control the release of the seal. I came to tell you that there is an explanation to it. The combat pills you "like" so much are dangerous. I did my homework. Its official name is P.A.A: Psychotropic Aggression Amplifier. It gives the user increased speed and reflexes. It has the risks of potential addiction and lack of control. Their addiction effects were considered under safe margins, and that was the reason it was released for shinobis."
"Your point being?" Sasuke wondered trying to smoke the cigarette as fast as possible. Ino was having a funny feeling about that cigarette.
"My point is that leaving the Leaf because you physically hurt Sakura is stupid. With the amount of combat pills you were taking it's a wonder you didn't become totally psycho! If you come back now, things may still be solved. You have a lot of talent. The Hokage will forgive you. Everything will be like before!
Sasuke closed his eyes. He also wished everything could be back like before. That had been his wish for years already. He wanted his family to be alive like before. He wanted Naruto to be alive and be his friend like before. He wanted to still believe in the slight possibility of a future of a happy ending of his relationship with Sakura. Maybe he was the one who was naïve and innocent, even more than Ino.
"I can't go back anymore." He stated leaning against the tree.
"Why not? You love Sakura, don't you?"
"My so called "love" would definitely kill her." Sasuke glanced at Ino again. "I didn't leave the Leaf because of me losing control of the seal."
"Excuse me?"
"Don't misunderstand. I believe hurting her was a valid enough reason to put a lot of space between her and me. I couldn't protect her and besides that I'm a danger to her. But no, there was another reason I had to leave." Sasuke looked up to the sky. The full moon was shining on them. That was good. They left their holes in the night. "I left the Leaf because I understood that everything had been a lie. I understood that I was a monster, even if I manage to hide my fangs or horns."
"I don't understand what you are talking about" Ino whispered.
"Let me tell you a story that is a lie. Three years ago we went drinking the four of us, Kakashi, Naruto, Sakura and me. We got drunk and somehow Sakura and I ended up spending the night together. Due to many reasons, I decided to marry her. Somehow I found happiness on those three years." Sasuke exhaled noisily.
It was a long time before Ino dared to speak up.
"Why did you say that the story was a lie?"
"I was always suspicious about that story. It sounded too much of a cliché porno story, like the ones Kakashi-sensei liked to read. I even met an old blind seer who told me that I was questioning the story even before I was aware of it. Maybe it's in my nature to be suspicious."
"No!" Ino quickly exclaimed "I know what you are thinking. You think that Sakura tricked you. I know Sakura very well. She is in love with you and she would never betray you."
"I know that. I confess much to my shame that once I dared to doubt her, but no. For years I had thought that the lie was the truth since I couldn't believe Sakura, Naruto or Kakashi-sensei would betray me that way. Now I finally remember that there was another person who was likely to betray everybody."
"Who?"
Sasuke chuckled. Ino hadn't even conceived that a laugh could sound so sad till that moment.
"There were four people in the party: Kakashi, Sakura, Naruto and me."
"You? But…" Was everything the dumbfounded Ino was able to say.
"This the hard truth about what really happened that night: My duties were to kill my brother and to resurrect my clan. I was planning on leaving the Leaf for Orochimaru as soon as possible and become a missing-nin to get enough power to kill my brother. That was a very dangerous move. Chances were I was going to get killed by somebody sooner or later and the possibilities of taking care of my second duty were very small. I decided to accept Kakashi's invitation to at least leave to the people I learned to love a good memory of me. We all got drunk, including Sakura and me. When people get inebriated, they lose their inhibitions. I don't know the exact point when I decided it, but somehow, I am sure I made up my mind up to take advantage of her. She was too drunk to even realise what we were doing. The funny part was that I was so drunk that I forgot about it afterwards."
"No!" Ino yelled "That can't be true! If you say you don't remember how can you be so convinced it happened that way?"
"I can't be sure, that's true. But that's the only way it makes total sense. I realised last week: I had lost control the curse seal, and I had hurt Sakura. I was in the living room, trying to contain the curse seal, wondering how I could have hurt her, when I realised it. Moments of clarity are rare in my life. That one was downright frightening. If I am the kind of person that could try to kill a friend to gain power for vengeance, it meant I am the kind of person who could force another to become my breeding sow. It's consistent." He paused to suck in air. "Yes, I could do that. I could deliberately destroy her life. I am sure of it. I did that."
"You can't be sure!"
"It's the only explanation that makes sense; that finally makes full sense. Kakashi-sensei and the Hokage sensed immediately the truth. That's the reason they were so hostile to me." Sasuke continued explaining. "I was taught at the shinobi academy that the definition of a perfect crime is the one when the victims don't know they are the victims. Well, I updated the definition: Perfect crime is the one when even the criminals don't know they are the criminal. When I understood the truth I…"
"YOU CAN'T BE SURE!" Ino yelled. Sasuke paused, surprised by Ino's outburst. "You… you were happy. I don't know what happened that night… but you were happy, weren't you?" Ino continued.
Sakura tried to hit Sasuke, who easily avoided her attack. Her fist uselessly hit another tree inside the training grounds. Kakashi was on a mission and Naruto was training with Jiraiya.
Sakura yelled and darted forward. Two emerald eyes met two onyx eyes. Sasuke easily read her straight movement, evaded her attack and flicked her with a slight violence, which knocked her down.
"Not enough!" He sternly said. "Taijutsu is your weakest ability. You need to improve. In real battle you wouldn't stand a second."
Sakura was on his knees, looking to the ground. She started to sob. Sasuke panicked. He could deal with psycho-sannins, berserk shinobis and deranged team-mates. He could even kind of deal with his mass-murderer brother. He could not deal crying girls.
"Sorry, OK. End of training for today? I was too hard on you. I apologise. Please don't cry. I'll treat you…" Sasuke stuttered getting closer to her.
Sasuke got near her and moved her hand tentatively to comfort his crying wife. Sakura suddenly rose and head-butted him. Sasuke was too shocked to react. Before he knew what was happening Sakura was lying over him and she had caught each of his hands by the wrist and pinned them over his head.
"That's cheating!" He angrily shouted.
"In real battle you should never let your guard down" Sakura mocked. Thanks to gravity and her advantageous position she had Sasuke trapped.
Sasuke sighed.
"You won. I guess you deserve some reward" Sasuke admitted with mock anger, raising his head. Sakura lowered her head and their tongues entwined in a passionate kiss. Still kissing, Sasuke turned their bodies around in surprise and grabbed gently her hands, pinning her against the ground.
"How…? You…" Sakura complained when she understood this time it was her who was immobilized.
"In real battle you should never let your guard down." Sasuke recommended. He bowed his head to trace his tongue along her neck before gently nibbling on her earlobe.
"Now… what should I do with you? I wonder." He purred.
"I do have some ideas" Sakura admitted with a wicked smile. Sasuke lowered his head… when he suddenly blinked and moved away from her.
"Sakura, I am sorry. I have something to confess. I am gay I also like older men. I am in love with Kakashi-sensei and Jiraiya-sama turns me on."
Sakura stood in dumbfounded stillness.
"Uh?" was everything the talkative Sakura was able to say.
"If I have resisted Ino's incredible feminine charms, it's evident I can't be straight" He explained.
Sakura's stunned expression turned into an expression of anger. She hit Sasuke's groin with a powerful kick. Sasuke screamed and rolled away from her. Sakura stood and looked around, looking for someone in particular. She was right on the mark as fifty metres from her, behind a tree there was a body with blonde hair lying on the floor.
"Ino-pig! Release Sasuke NOW!"
The jutsu on Sasuke's body was released and the formerly immobile body of Ino burst out laughing.
"You got me there big-forehead!"
Sasuke, finally in control of his own body, groaned in pain as he staggered.
"My dream of reviving my clan broken forever" He muttered in pain.
"I'm going to kill you Ino-pig" Sakura promised.
Ino was still laughing.
"We were happy" Sasuke admitted lighting another cigarette after glancing again at the ground. "And because that happiness weakened me, the bearer of death visited me again, taking away my best friend. When a star like Naruto brings his light into your life, after he passes there are only shadows." Long sigh "I'm not going back to her, Ino. My "love" would destroy her. She must find someone that can love her without so many turbulences."
Ino was going to yell at him. She was going to call him a bastard. She was going to say that Sakura was too good for him. She was going to declare that unless he had a crystal ball to see the past, he couldn't be sure of anything. She was going to warn him that she was going to torture him to death unless he agreed to come back to the Leaf NOW.
She wasn't able to say anything as a roar interrupted her. She looked to the ground, where a strange animal had appeared. It looked like a cross between a hyena and a tiger with a werewolf thrown in for good measure. The animal's jaws looked strong enough to crush a kunai, after those teeth had ripped the kunai from his owner's grasp, hand and all.
"What's that?" She asked with repugnance.
"Its official name is "Project 145"." Sasuke, who had gotten suddenly very close to Ino, explained. The blonde chuunin jumped away. "They were created just before the war to serve as weapons of destruction. Orochimaru himself worked in the project, although only as an assistant. Sure, he was a genius, but it was his first time working in I+D. It was one of the many black-ops of the ANBU that were secret to the general population of the Leaf, known only to the higher authorities, like the Hokage. Those creatures ranked high in the savagery department but they proved to be too difficult to control. Eventually the elimination order was given, but some of them managed to escape and hide."
Sasuke fell silent. Ino looked again at the ground. Another creature had appeared. The tree was extremely tall and the branches were very thick, so they weren't in danger for the moment. Ino understood that Sasuke hadn't chosen at random the tree.
"Those night beast have long lives, but they have already grown very old. For years they have travelled in packs. Probably they only wanted to be left alone, but they couldn't fight their own nature: The number of human casualties they have killed is around six-hundred, according to ANBU estimates. They were constantly on the move and they only killed in isolated villages, so they were difficult to track down." Sasuke explained while he continued getting closer to Ino, who was backing away, although she was running out of branch. The number of beats continued to increase.
"How come they weren't eliminated?"
"The ANBU wasn't interested in showing an interest in them. They were a black-op after all. It would be bad PR. One of my first ANBU missions was "making sure" a journalist didn't say anything about this black-op which he had discovered. I killed him. It didn't bother me since I was just following the Leaf's commands." Sasuke explained, getting still closer to Ino. The chuunin tried to back away, but she didn't have any more space. The number of beasts were still increasing. There were a dozen of them already.
"They are already very old. They can't reproduce. In a few years most of them will die of old age. However they can't ignore their nature to kill people. That was the reason they were created. It's not that I want to make amends, but I thought they could get good exercise. This morning I attacked and killed five of their number during the day, when they were weak. Now they are coming for revenge and I am ready for the showdown." Sasuke continued, moving his hands around Ino's head. Ino closed her eyes, her heart hammering her chest violently.
Sasuke, without touching her skin, untied the ribbon she had on her hair. He moved away from her while tying the ribbon around his head, covering his eyes.
"What are you doing?" She asked. She would never say to anybody that she felt disappointed.
"This is training. I need a handicap to make the fight more dangerous for myself. I'll fight in the darkness. To fight them I'll listen the noise they make as they move."
Ino looked to the ground again. The beasts were getting restless, howling and roaring, circling the tree like a shark a bloody swimmer. And more of them were still coming.
"Any shinobi can move without making any noise!" She yelled.
"In that case I'll listen to the air moving around their body. If it doesn't work then I'll listen to the noise of the heartbeat."
"Nobody can do that!"
"He can." He said. Ino shuddered when he saw Sasuke's expression. He looked old and tired and there was revulsion, hate, even fear in his expression. It only lasted a few seconds. It was quickly replaced by his usual cold fury. "Hai, I am sure of that. He can do it, and that means I have to do it also if I want to kill him."
"You… you are still obsessing about your revenge…" Ino understood.
"I am still chasing the murderer of my family and Naruto, that's true." Sasuke confirmed. "I have never wanted to be anybody's teammates or to seek anybody's help. Everything is nothing but a tool to reach my goal; nothing but a stepping stone to kill the person I cherished and admired. That is the reason of my existence. I'm planning to die for my dream. The path is clear and it is my own."
"What about Sakura!"
Sasuke turned his face away, even if his eyes were covered by Ino's ribbon.
"I have always caused her pain… Please tell her, I am so sorry. I won't ever be back, but I'll always…"
"NO!" Ino screamed interrupting Sasuke and jumping into him. Before Sasuke could respond, Ino had violently kissed him. Her tongue entered his mouth while she slipped something in his pocket. Sasuke quickly pulled away.
"I…" Sasuke started to say.
"I don't expect you to understand." Ino interrupted, looking away. After some seconds she continued speaking. "Chouji is a really sweet and loving guy, and Sakura is my best friend."
Sasuke didn't move.
"I don't care about what you want. I don't care about your brother or about your revenge. I don't care about your family or Naruto. I am going to make sure you and Sakura are together again" Ino promised. Sasuke didn't react as she jumped away. The animals didn't follow her. They knew their challenger was still on the tree.
Sasuke caressed again the second-level curse pill Kabuto had given him. He
Sasuke caressed again the second-level curse pill Kabuto had given him. He coldly calculated how much time he had before the ANBU arrived. Ino, Chouji, Shikamaru, Hinata, Kiba, Shino, Neji and Lee were eight people. They had probably covered a large radius, considering the group size. Any ANBU team would need a lot of time to find the exact place but Ino had already led the search group to his location. It was only during his harsh and endless training that he had learnt the layout of the forest quite well. He could easily avoid up to four middle-quality ANBUs. If they waited for reinforcements directly from Leaf Village he would have at least a week.
The creatures below roared in rage. Instinctively, more creatures came until there were about thirty of them. More were probably hidden between the surrounding bushes, waiting for the perfect moment to pounce upon their prey, since they were smart creatures. He wasn't the type to back down from any challenge.
"You are a mistake." He told them with scorn, starting to walk down the tree. "The reason you are alive is because your creators were inefficient in killing you. You don't even have the right to exist. You should have been killed a long time ago. Maybe you could have lived as a shadow, always hiding and running away, but you are exactly like me; we can't go against our nature. We are nothing but monsters that should have disappeared a long time ago. However, since we are still alive, I guess we still should do our best."
He stopped. An impatient, collective roar was the welcoming committee.
"Happiness doesn't last.
It's bright, it blooms with colors.
Then it dies and fades."
After saying his death poem Sasuke extended both arms outward making a T shape. Each of his hands was holding a wakizashi with dried blood.
«Sakura, Naruto, I am sorry» He thought.
"Look at me now, brother. LOOK AT ME!" He yelled as he jumped blindfolded into a sea of jaws.
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OMAKE:
"NO!" Ino screamed interrupting Sasuke and jumping into him. Before Sasuke knew could respond, Ino had violently kissed him. Sasuke quickly pushed her away
There was not enough space in the branch and Ino fell into the beasts. Powerful jaws snapped and snatched, chopping on her. Finally a belch was heard
"Uh, Did I do that?." Sasuke mumbled
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I appreciate constructive criticism, so if there's something wrong with my story, please point it out to me or give me a few tips of advice. I am an amateur and it could really improve later chapters. Did you like the Omake part? Do you think it's a welcome comic relief, or maybe you think it breaks the dark mood? Please, tell me your opinions. Thanks for all the people that take their time to give me some feedback
Most fanfiction I have seen with Ino is the usual routine "Ino has gotten over Sasuke and she is in love with Naruto/Shikamaru/etc". I wanted to make things more complicated and show some character development. Specially with the lingering feelings.
As you can see the plot is quickly moving forward, even with all the time I take for character development . Very soon things will quickly explode.
I wanted to show the part where Sasuke remembers Sakura specially poignant. Some reviewers have pointed out that my story is too dark. I am sorry, but I have to use the quote from the great manga Monster
"I thought I was in the darkest place... but then I looked ahead... and I saw an even darker place" One of the best manga ever.
Thank you very much. Next chapter soon coming!