Fire Emblem 07, the Parody

Chapter 04: In Occupasion's Shadow

After kicking the bandits' sorry butts, Lyn and the gang continue westward. They stop for the night at a ruined fortress.

The Ganleon bandits are in a rage after their brothers fell to Lyn's sword. They race in pursuit of the companions. Their angry foot steps sound closer and closer...

{cue Jaws theme}
Wil and Sain pressed on in the forest, looking for a suitable piece of land to sit down and sleep in. Wil spotted a run down fortress. "This should do!" he grinned. "Tonight's bed!"

"This run down, mildewy piece of crap?" Sain complained. "Is this the best we can do? Come on, Wil, you've got to be yanking my chain!"

"The bandits keep everything run down, mildewy and pieces of crap" Wil informed. "Compared to the village we just came from, this is Castle Caelin. 'sides, no one worries about travelers. And there's a whole mess of us."

The other members of the Lyndis Legion(tm) approached. "This will be fine" Lyn nodded. "Who prefers the inside of an inn anyway?"

"Me" Sain interupted.

"Ditto" Cecil pointed out.

"You didn't let me finish..." Lyn muttered, growling. "I prefer places where I can feel the wind blow through my hair."

Florina smiled, and rested a head on Lyn's shoulder. "As long as I'm by Lyn's side, I'll be fine."

Sain suddenly turned on the charm. "And for your protection, your man-at-arms, Sain, will be at your side, ladies. Trust me, the only screaming you'll be doing tonight is after I..."

--GACK--

Kent grabbed Sain by the collar, and dragged him off. "Come on, Sain. You and I are taking watch duty."

"But...but...but..." Sain whimpered.

"I SAID you and I are taking watch duty!"

"You're no fun!"
"You put the soup in the pot, and you toss the can away" Cecil sang to himself, while doing this.

--Bonk--

"Ow!" yelped Wil.

"You put the peas in the stew, and you toss the can away."

--Bonk--

"OW!"

"You put the meat in the stew, and you toss the can away."

--Bonk--

"OW! Cecil, I'm right here!"

"You put the mushrooms in the stew, and you toss the can away."

--Bonk--

"Oh for god's sake!"

As Cecil was busy unknowingly(?) tossing cans at Wil, Sain and Kent were staring out into the open field before the fortress. Well, Kent was, anyway. Sain, however, was busy looking back INTO the fortress, right at Lyn and Florina, who were catching up on old times.

Kent grabbed Sain's arm, and turned him to face the open yonder. After a few seconds, Sain turned around again. And again, Kent turned him around. This continued until the two were going to be next called upon.

A shuffling of feet came from the back of the fortress. "Begging your pardon, m'lady" came a tired voice.

That caught Lyn's attention, as she looked at the back of the fortress. "Who's there?"

A young woman with long, brown hair, in a ponytail, stepped out of the shadows. She had a tourqouise shirt, and a white skirt. "I...forgive my intrusion...my name is Natalie. I live in a village not far from here."

She took a few more steps forward, before stopping. "Oh! Ow..."

Florina stood up, and caught the woman before she fell over. Lyn walked over to the both of them. "Are you okay?" she asked Natalie. "...your leg..."

The leg in question was covered with blotches, and a bit of bone was sticking out.

"Don't worry" she assured. "It's fine."

"The heck it is!" Florina said a little more louder than usual.

Both stared at her.

"S..sorry..."

"It's from a childhood sickness" Natalie explained. "I can't travel far on it, but it doesn't trouble me much."

"So...what are you doing here in the first place?" Lyn asked.

"I'm looking for my husband...I heard he was in this area. He said he was going to get some money to have my leg mended, get a good house, some furnature..." she shook her head. "Sorry. Kinda wound myself up in the moment...anyway, he left the village, and hasn't come back. He's a sweety deep down, but I'm worried that he may be caught up in something dangerous."

She dug into her pocket. "Here's a sketch of him. It's a poor likeness at best, but..."

Lyn took the picture, and stared at it, lower lip twitching. Her pupils shrank a bit, and she let out an "ehe". The picture looked like it was drawn by a five year old, at best.

"Kinda reminds me of the pictures I drew when I was a toddler" Florina commented, looking over Lyn's shoulder.

"Oh, and I have this photo of him too" Natalie pointed out, pulling another picture from her pocket. The man in the photo had a muscular build, and a stern face. As it was in black and white, they couldn't tell the colour of his hair, beard, or shirt, although it could be noted that his shirt looked ragged and worn.

"His name is Dorcas. Do you know of him?" Natalie asked.

Lyn and Florina shook their heads. "Sad to say, but I've never seen nor heard of him before" Lyn informed.

"I see..." Natalie said, looking more sad than before. "If you do meet him, please give him this message. Tell him that Natalie is looking for him."

"We'll tell him" Florina chirped. "I promise on behalf of the team."

"Soup's up!" Cecil declared. "Come and get it!"

Wil grumbled, rubbing his now bump cluttered head.
Meanwhile, outside the fortress, a group of bandits peaked out. "Here they are" said the leader of them. He was bigger than the others, with spikey, dark gray hair, a protrouding chin, and a purple shirt. "The group that defeated little brother Migal."

Another bandit, looking like a humanoid weasel, snickered. "So, they decided to hole up inside this ruined fortress" he tettered. "Perfect. We'll wait till it gets dark, and then--"

--SMACK--

"Yip yip yip yip yip!" the weasel man yelped, running around in circles, clenching his head.

"You're an idiot!" the leader barked at him. "There's only a few of them, and some of them are women! If we attacked them at night, we'd be a laughingstock! And we'd be kicked out of the club! And worse yet, we could hurt the women by mistake!"

The weasel man gave a nervous laugh. "You're right, Carjiga! You're so smart!"

"We'll avenge Migal, and get some pretty souviners to boot! Who knows? Maybe I'll be the club president after all! Ha ha ha! Spread out and encircle the place, you rogues! Let's finish this before it gets too dark to see! (Because really...I'm scared of the dark..)"

Swarming out of the forest was a whole squadren of bandits. Arriving last was a man with short, red hair, a very fine red beard under his chin, and a yellow, sleevless shirt.

"Hey you! Yer name's...Dorcas, isn't it?" Carjiga asked.

"..." replied Dorcas.

"Damnit! You're not Crono! You're not the dot dot dot king! sigh. Anyway, you haven't done much since you joined us. If those axes of your's aren't just for show, tonight's the night to let us see what you can do."

"..."

--twitch-- "I want you to attack from the back entrance to the east. There's supposed to be a woman inside. I want you to capture 'er. Do that, and I'll increase your share of the take. If you want gold, you'll get the job done." Carjiga then turned around and left.

"...A bunch of women, huh?" Dorcas said to himself. "It would break Natalie's sweet heart to see me sink so low..."

As Dorcas moved into position, Kent and Sain rode back inside the fortress. "Um, Lady Lyndis, we've got a problem!" Sain said urgently.

"Outside the fortress! Bandits!" Kent reported.

"Persistent bunch, aren't they?" Sain laughed. "So, what do you suggest we do? Shall we go out and face them?"

"I don't think so" Cecil shook his head, standing up from his rocky seat. "Natalie can't move very well, and if we attack, she'll be left unguarded and in danger. Seeing as it's more compact in here, we'll let them come to us."

Lyn grinned. "Stole the words right out of my mouth."

As everyone started taking their positions, Sain and Kent at the front entrance, Lyn at the back, and Wil and Florina protecting Natalie and Cecil, the tacticion gave another comment. "We only need to hold them off until they get tired!"

Everyone nodded, and got into defensive position. A duo of axewielders leapt at the two cavaliers, but with a swift dodge and a powerful counter, the two knights of Lycia had no problems.

Quite suddenly, a red headed bandit threw his axe at Lyn's general direction. She ducked, just in time to. She was about to stand up when...

"Return trip!" Florina screamed.

Lyn ducked again, as the axe flew back, and into the bandit's hand. She let out a sigh of relief. "Thanks Florina!" she grinned. She turned to face the bandit. "Wait...isn't he...he looks a lot like the picture of Natalie's husband..."

She took a few steps closer. "You! Aren't you Dorcas?" she asked.

"...How'd you know my name?" he asked simply.

"Natalie told me. What are you doing with these money grubbling jackasses?"

"I need the money they grub."

"I see, but...wouldn't joining up with mercenaries be a smarter idea? Heck, anything's a smarter idea than joining with bandits! Except maybe stealing..."

"It's the only way to earn gold in these parts, woman. I'll do anything...even this."

"For gold? Anything? Even hurt your wife? Natalie is here! We're protecting her from in this fortress!!"

"What!? Natalie...she's here?"

"She was worried sick about you, so she came looking for you. Think, Dorcas! Would your actions please your wife?"

"... ...You're right..."

"Well?"

"I can't do this. I'm done with these bandits. Here and now." He suddenly turned at the bandit who was coming to help him, and threw his axe with all his might. Slicing the body in half, the axe returned to the warrior's hand.

Lyn gave a nervous chuckle, before nodding. Dorcas nodded as well, and moved into the temple to help with the defense.

The axemen were flying left and right as Sain and Kent did their best to hold them off. Wil and Florina still kept watch on Natalie, when the opposite wall from where Lyn stood ground crumbled. An archer, a swordsman, and an axeman all charged in.

"Um, Lyn, we've got a problem!" Wil warned, readying his bow, and letting an arrow fly.

"I'm on it!" Lyn dashed forward, and body checked the enemy archer before he could ready his arrow.

"Yer mine, girlie!" said one of the swordsman, leaping at Florina.

"Eeek!" Florina yelped. The sword slashed against her chest, causing her to let out a scream. It also knocked her off her pegasus, and she rolled along the ground, dropping her lance. The axeman took this moment of weakness to make a grab for her.

"You shall not touch her!" shouted Dorcas, suddenly coming to the rescue, and grabbing the axeman by the arm, nearly crushing it. He then tossed him at the swordsman, sending the two into the side wall. Cecil picked up Florina's discarded spear, and threw it at the two, impaling them on the side wall.

"Damn it, they shouldn't be this hard to get rid of!" screamed Carjiga. "Get more of the troops!"

A few more bandits leapt out of hiding. The sun was starting to sink below the horizon.

"Dorcas!" Natalie cheered, seeing her husband. She leapt off her seat, and into the big axe wielder's arms. "Is it...really you?"

Dorcas actually smiled for once in this entire chapter, and hugged her gently. "What were you thinking, coming to a place like this?" he asked.

"What were you thinking, joining up with bloodthirsty bandits?" Natalie responded.

"Point taken..." Dorcas sighed, and stroked her back. "I'm so sorry for worrying you..."

"It's alright...I'm just so glad you're okay..."

After fve more minutes, the sun had sunk. "Th...they're not human!" Carjiga squeaked. "Listen up, you rogues! Retreat! Run for it!"

With that, the whole swarm of bandits started running for their very lives. "They're running away..." Wil breathed out.

"We've won!" Sain cheered. "Drinks are on me!"

Dorcas carried Natalie outside, and Lyn followed to bid the two goodbye. "Our village is close" Dorcas said to Lyn. "I'll take Natalie home and return tomorrow."

"Hmm? Can't we just say our farewells today? ...erm, tonight?"

"Well I...spoke with Cecil, you see..."

"Dorcas is a little low on cash, so I've invited him to come with us!" Cecil grinned, coming up from behind Dorcas.

"CECIL!!" Lyn screamed. "You DO know we're going to Lycia!"

Both nodded. "I have to go somewhere for money" Dorcas explained.

"And it's a long way to Tipperary!" Cecil added in. "Or, in this case, Lycia. I'm sure we'll be picking up more cash along the way."

"We're all in agreement on this" Natalie explained. "Please...take care of my husband."

"Well....alright" Lyn nodded. "We could use an axeman, really."

"Excellent! Now, let's get inside. I think in the heat of the fight, you didn't quite notice the wound that Florina got."

"WHAT!?" With lightning speed, Lyn bolted inside, rushing over next to Florina. "What happened?"

"It's...it's nothing" Florina assured. "It was just a little cut I got from one of the swordsmen..."

"You can't just get a little cut from a SWORDSMAN!" Lyn shouted.

Florina flinched, and looked away. "I...I'm sorry..."

Lyn softened up. "I'm sorry I screamed at you, but I'm just worried about you."

Florina blushed, before continuing. "Wil already applied some first aid, so I'm recovering."

"I'm glad. If there's anything else you need, just let me know."

"Um, actually...there is something..." Florina twiddled her thumbs silently, blushing, before blurting out, "Would you mind staying by my side tonight? Back on the plains, I got the most relaxing sleep when I knew that you were close by, keeping me safe..."

Lyn grinned, and gave Florina a hug. "Of course, Florina. Just relax. I'm here for you..."

"Thank you..." Florina breathed out, before letting herself fall asleep. Lyn smiled, and fell asleep as well, still holding onto the pegasus knight.

Meanwhile, on watch duty...

"This place sucks!" Sain whined. "The floor is hard and cold, and there are holes in the roof!"

"Could be worse" Wil said, looking on the bright side.

"How?"

"Could be raining."

CRACK-BOOM

It started to rain. Hard.

Sain gave Wil a glare.

"...ehe..."