Hi! First of all a huge thanks to 'Warrior of the Pen' for the wonderful
review. It motivated me to write the next chapter. Thank you!!!! In case
you are interested, there's another story that I wrote here. It's a Harry
Potter fanfic and is called 'A Fugitive's Life'. It has 5 chapters so far,
but I'm updating as often as I can.
Now, on with the story and PLEASE REVIEW!!!
Chapter 2
"Obi-Wan wasn't in class today. Do you think Master Calan let him do extra work for not doing well?" Xanatos again sat opposite his Master in their quarters.
Qui-Gon raised an eyebrow at him. "Do you recall ever not having to go to classes when you were being punished?"
Xanatos chuckled despite his worry for the boy. Why the hell am I worried about him? "No, I clearly don't recall that."
Qui-Gon smiled slightly. "He's probably just not feeling well."
Xanatos nodded, still deep in thought. And again there was that nagging feeling in his mind, that it wasn't that easy.
****************************
Master Rin Calan was seething. How the hell had the boy managed to draw Xanatos' attention to himself? Maybe he had done it to harm him. Yes, that must be it. His Padawan wanted to damage his reputation. The child was just completely incompetent. Just like Nall. Only that he had loved Nall. But the fact remained that his first Padawan had been so incapable that he had killed himself. On an easy mission. A Jedi had to be alert to danger at all times. He would teach Kenobi that lesson once and for all.
****************************
The buzzer of the door to Master Jinn's residence gave a very short ring. Qui-Gon looked up from the data-pad he was reading and raised an eyebrow. Whoever was at the door was obviously afraid of pushing it too long. Upon opening the door he saw the reason why. Outside stood an extremely nervous looking young Padawan with dark curly hair. When the boy didn't speak, Qui- Gon asked him in a friendly voice, "May I help you, Padawan?"
The child blushed and then began to speak rather uncertainly. "Ah... well... may I speak to Padawan Xanatos please?"
Qui-Gon smiled. "Yes, of course. Please come in." The boy looked so nervous now that Qui-Gon was afraid he might faint any moment from the stress. "Xanatos, you have a visitor!" Not wanting to make him feel even more insecure, the Jedi Master went to his room and closed the door.
When Xanatos came out of his room he was surprised to see Padawan Garen Muln standing in the middle of the living room looking as lost as a 5-year- old initiate. "Garen, what's the matter? Here, sit down."
The boy sat down rather stiffly but then succeeded in looking Xanatos straight in the eyes. "Padawan Xanatos, I have a problem."
The young man nodded encouragingly and Garen continued. "Well, actually Bant wanted me to talk to you, but...uh...this is about Obi-Wan."
At this Xanatos sat up. "What about Obi-Wan?"
"Well, you see, he somehow behaves oddly. Actually he has behaved oddly since the time Master Calan took him as his Padawan and we...that is Bant, Reeft and me...well, we wondered whether you could maybe talk to him about it. Because he doesn't tell us anything, although we're his best friends. He just always tells us that he's fine and that we shouldn't worry. And well, there's something else."
Xanatos nodded for him to continue. Garen took a deep breath. He seemed to become calmer now that he had this off his chest. "You have probably realised that he sometimes misses class. Well, quite often actually. But when we ask him about it he just tells us that he wasn't well, that he had a fever or something like that. But Bant told us..she's training to be a healer, you know, she told us that he is never in the healers´ ward. And Reeft's and my Master always drag us to the healer if we so much as cough a bit."
Xanatos stared at the boy. He had obviously observed this for some time now and was seriously worried. Then an idea occured to him. "Garen, was Obi-Wan ever hurt in sparring practice?"
"Yes, of course, everyone gets hurt there sometimes."
"And did Master Calan take him to the Healers then?"
Garen was obviously a bit irritated by his questions. "If we get hurt in sabre practice, Master Linko takes us to the Healers."
Xanatos sighed. Now, that didn't answer any of his questions.
But then Garen's face lit up as if he had suddenly remembered something. "But once when Obi was defeated by Bruck and his tunic got a bit burned we could see that he had something that looked like an old sabre burn on his back. He told us that he got it when he had sparred with his Master. But he never went to the Healers for that either."
"Did you tell Master Linko about this?"
Garen looked a bit guilty at this. "No, Sir. We thought that if Obi-Wan didn't tell him, it wouldn't be so bad."
Seeing the guilty expression on the boy's face Xanatos immediately attempted to put his mind at ease. "I'm sure it wasn't too bad."
Garen gave him a small smile. "Well, will you talk to him then?"
"Of course I will, Garen. Don't worry. We will work this out."
Garen nodded looking a bit more satisfied now but not really happy. "I will see you on Tuesday then, Padawan Xanatos. Thank you for doing this."
The young man smiled at the boy. "You're welcome. Give my greetings to Bant and Reeft." With that Garen disappeared through the door and Xanatos was left with an even more uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach than he had had the last several weeks.
Qui-Gon came out of his room only moments after Garen had left. He could see from the expression on his Padawan's face that it had not been good news. "Was that about Kenobi?"
Sometimes Xanatos wondered seriously how his Master read him so easily. But he put that thought aside for the moment. There was enough to worry about already. "Yes, it was. That was Garen, a friend of his. He asked me to talk to him." After a brief pause he continued:"Master, did you know Obi-Wan when he was an initiate?"
Qui-Gon nodded. "Yes, I did. In fact I brought him to the Temple. He was seven months old then, but I also taught one of his saber-classes. I think he was 8 or 9 years old."
"And what was he like then? Did he have trouble executing the moves? Or did he behave strangely in any way?"
Qui-Gon sighed. "No, he was a completely normal child. Not at all the way you're describing him now. He was very good at sparring and I heard that he was a good student in most of his other subjects. I don't know what is wrong now, Xani."
The Padawan thought about this for a few minutes and finally decided to voice his suspicions. "Do you think that maybe Master Calan could have anything to do with it? He has been Obi-Wan's Master for eight months now; I've looked it up. Do you think that he does anything to the boy?"
Qui-Gon raised an eyebrow at his apprentice. "Be careful with your accusations, Padawan. We're talking about a well-respected Master. Calan has served the Order for many years. He's loyal and highly regarded for his wisdom."
"I didn't want to make any rash guesses. I was just thinking..."
But his Master cut him off. "Then don't, Xanatos. Maybe you should meditate on this and take into consideration that Kenobi might be the one at fault here. I do remember that he often fought with a boy named Bruck Chun. Maybe he simply can't control his fear."
Xanatos wanted to object but he saw that his Master was angry with him for accusing Calan and knew that it wouldn't do any good. So he just said, "Yes, Master." through clenched teeth and left for the meditation gardens.
******************************
On the way to the gardens Xanatos let the conversations he'd just had with his Master replay in his head. Why was Qui-Gon so dismissive of his idea? There were certainly enough indications for it. The way Obi-Wan reacted whenever someone spoke harshly to him. That he never stood up against Bruck Chun. That he didn't come to class the day after Xanatos had spoken to Calan. The injuries he didn't get treated... The Padawan didn't understand his Master. Why could he not once accept that someone had a real reason to be afraid. That negative feelings were justified in some cases. That it was sometimes even necessary to experience them, just for the sake of learning to deal with them. But Qui-Gon had always been like this. And Xanatos had always hated this attitude. No, a Jedi didn't hate. But he had, despite Jedi rules. Hadn't hated his Master of course, just a certain aspect of his personality. And he was convinced that having real emotions couldn't be a bad thing, no matter what Qui-Gon said.
Without really realising it he had reached the fountains. He sat down on the soft grass and breathed deeply. He loved the gardens. The air around him was filled with the life forces of hundreds of small animals. The artificial sun bathed the area in a warm light that made you forget you were inside. The air was clean, free of all the exhaust fumes the planet was always covered in. Xanatos liked Coruscant. He liked it for the many different races that inhabited it. He liked it for the many lights that seemed to give the planet a pulse at night. He liked all the things it represented: Unity, Power, Peace.
But he simply couldn't imagine living anywhere else but at the Temple. All the people out there had to put up with this planet that never slept every day without the possibility of a retreat where there were still things formed not by civilization but by nature.
Xanatos sighed and leaned his head back against the tree he was sitting under when he registered a movement out of the corner of his eye. He peered around a few branches and there it was again. A figure was swimming in the lake, clad in light brown trousers and tunics. It was a small figure and upon further inspection Xanatos could make out the form of Obi-Wan Kenobi. He sat back again not wanting the boy to see him and observed him quietly through the leaves.
Obi-Wan's movements were strong and yet graceful. He moved with a lightness that he had never seen in the boy. He dived long distances, sometimes swimming fast and sometimes just floating in the water. The clumsiness Master Linko had described was gone, as if washed away by the clear liquid. The fear and nervousness Xanatos had always sensed in him were extinguished. The older Padawan watched in wonder as the small boy crossed the lake again and again, seemingly without getting tired.
After watching him for about half an hour, he decided to draw the boy's attention. Just then Obi-Wan swam to the shore, seated himself on the grass and stared out over the lake.
Xanatos started to walk over to him, making as much noise as possible so as not to startle the young Padawan. However, Obi-Wan still gave a little jump when his teacher sat beside him.
"Hello, Obi-Wan. I saw you swimming in the lake. You're a very good swimmer."
The boy blushed slightly. "Thank you, Sir." He didn't look at Xanatos when he said this but down at the grass where he was pulling out a few blades out of nervousness.
Not wanting to pressure him Xanatos asked, "Would you rather be alone?"
Obi-Wan hesitated for a moment and the older Padawan prepared to leave when he heard the soft reply. "No, Sir. It's okay."
Xanatos had to admit that he was a bit surprised. Always before Obi-Wan had practically run from the classroom at the end of the lesson. Now, however, he looked up at him for the first time without being ordered to do so. Xanatos gave him a friendly smile and the child smiled back tentatively but then averted his eyes once again. "Do you come here often?" Obi-Wan nodded. "Me too. I like the peaceful atmosphere here. It lets you forget everything else." The boy looked up at him again. It was clear from his expression that this was exactly the reason why he was here. "What do you like best about swimming?"
Obi-Wan hesitated again. "That I'm not clumsy. I'm always clumsy in sparring lessons." Xanatos almost couldn't believe that Padawan Kenobi, the one who never spoke to anyone but his close friends without a direct order, was speaking to him so freely about his feelings. He decided to not directly approach the matter that was on his mind. "My Master told me that you were fairly good with the 'sabre in his class."
Obi-Wan looked at him with wide eyes. "Master Jinn told you that?"
Xanatos thought it a bit odd that this was such a big deal but then he recalled how he had always worshipped the Masters and if someone as respected as Qui-Gon remembered you as a good student then it was probably almost unbelievable for a junior Padawan. "Yes, he did. He told me that you had quite the talent."
If possible Obi-Wan's eyes got even bigger. But then his expression faltered and he looked down again. "But I'm not good anymore."
"Who said that?"
"Everyone." There was a trace of defiance in the boy's voice.
Xanatos waited a moment and then asked, "Bruck Chun?"
Obi-Wan looked at him briefly before staring at the ground again. "Yes." It came out as a whisper.
"Did Bant or Garen or Reeft ever say it?"
The young Padawan looked at him sharply, the defiance back in his voice. "Of course not. They're my friends. They're not supposed to say things like that. But they all think it."
Xanatos kept his voice on a low level. "Did you ask them about it?"
At this Obi-Wan moved a bit away from him, his expression angry. "No, I didn't. What do you want to hear? That I think I'm a great student? Well, give up! You won't hear it!"
For a moment Xanatos just stared at the boy and Obi-Wan stared back. Then the look of anger changed to one of horror and he stood up his head bowed. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell at you. I'm sorry. I will submit to any punishment you see fit."
Xanatos finally snapped out of his shock and took the boys arm. "It's okay, Obi-Wan. I'm sorry. It's really none of my business."
Now it was Obi-Wan's turn to be shocked. "You won't punish me? But I got angry. A Jedi isn't supposed to be angry."
There it was again. A Jedi isn't supposed to feel this, to react that way. How Xanatos despised it. Look what it did. He sighed. "Obi-Wan, please sit down." When the boy had complied he continued. "Sometimes we just get angry or afraid. It is not a sin. You can learn to not let yourself be overwhelmed by your emotions but you can never avoid feeling them. That's what makes us human. That's what distinguishes us from the machines we build."
"My Master said that there are good and bad emotions and that I had to learn to only feel the good ones."
Xanatos wanted to search for the man right then and yell at him for telling the boy this nonsense but instead he focused his thoughts on Obi-Wan and tried again to explain. "But that's not possible. You have to know emotions like anger, fear and sorrow in order to be able to experience joy. Otherwise you will never know true happiness."
Obi-Wan looked at him thoughtfully and then shifted his gaze to his chrono. "I have to go. I have to meet my Master in twenty minutes for training."
"Okay Obi-Wan. It was nice talking to you."
The boy blushed again and said in a small voice: "I liked it, too." With that he made his way to the door of the hall the gardens were located in. But before he reached it he turned around once more. "Thank you, Padawan Xanatos." And without waiting for an answer he left.
Xanatos turned his gaze back to the still water. He wasn't completely sure that Obi-Wan believed the things he had said. After all, he was only a Padawan and Calan was a Master. But he was sure that the young apprentice knew deep down that those words were true. It would take time for Obi-Wan to trust him, but they had made a start. With a small smile on his face Xanatos finally settled into a comfortable position and began to meditate.
Now, on with the story and PLEASE REVIEW!!!
Chapter 2
"Obi-Wan wasn't in class today. Do you think Master Calan let him do extra work for not doing well?" Xanatos again sat opposite his Master in their quarters.
Qui-Gon raised an eyebrow at him. "Do you recall ever not having to go to classes when you were being punished?"
Xanatos chuckled despite his worry for the boy. Why the hell am I worried about him? "No, I clearly don't recall that."
Qui-Gon smiled slightly. "He's probably just not feeling well."
Xanatos nodded, still deep in thought. And again there was that nagging feeling in his mind, that it wasn't that easy.
****************************
Master Rin Calan was seething. How the hell had the boy managed to draw Xanatos' attention to himself? Maybe he had done it to harm him. Yes, that must be it. His Padawan wanted to damage his reputation. The child was just completely incompetent. Just like Nall. Only that he had loved Nall. But the fact remained that his first Padawan had been so incapable that he had killed himself. On an easy mission. A Jedi had to be alert to danger at all times. He would teach Kenobi that lesson once and for all.
****************************
The buzzer of the door to Master Jinn's residence gave a very short ring. Qui-Gon looked up from the data-pad he was reading and raised an eyebrow. Whoever was at the door was obviously afraid of pushing it too long. Upon opening the door he saw the reason why. Outside stood an extremely nervous looking young Padawan with dark curly hair. When the boy didn't speak, Qui- Gon asked him in a friendly voice, "May I help you, Padawan?"
The child blushed and then began to speak rather uncertainly. "Ah... well... may I speak to Padawan Xanatos please?"
Qui-Gon smiled. "Yes, of course. Please come in." The boy looked so nervous now that Qui-Gon was afraid he might faint any moment from the stress. "Xanatos, you have a visitor!" Not wanting to make him feel even more insecure, the Jedi Master went to his room and closed the door.
When Xanatos came out of his room he was surprised to see Padawan Garen Muln standing in the middle of the living room looking as lost as a 5-year- old initiate. "Garen, what's the matter? Here, sit down."
The boy sat down rather stiffly but then succeeded in looking Xanatos straight in the eyes. "Padawan Xanatos, I have a problem."
The young man nodded encouragingly and Garen continued. "Well, actually Bant wanted me to talk to you, but...uh...this is about Obi-Wan."
At this Xanatos sat up. "What about Obi-Wan?"
"Well, you see, he somehow behaves oddly. Actually he has behaved oddly since the time Master Calan took him as his Padawan and we...that is Bant, Reeft and me...well, we wondered whether you could maybe talk to him about it. Because he doesn't tell us anything, although we're his best friends. He just always tells us that he's fine and that we shouldn't worry. And well, there's something else."
Xanatos nodded for him to continue. Garen took a deep breath. He seemed to become calmer now that he had this off his chest. "You have probably realised that he sometimes misses class. Well, quite often actually. But when we ask him about it he just tells us that he wasn't well, that he had a fever or something like that. But Bant told us..she's training to be a healer, you know, she told us that he is never in the healers´ ward. And Reeft's and my Master always drag us to the healer if we so much as cough a bit."
Xanatos stared at the boy. He had obviously observed this for some time now and was seriously worried. Then an idea occured to him. "Garen, was Obi-Wan ever hurt in sparring practice?"
"Yes, of course, everyone gets hurt there sometimes."
"And did Master Calan take him to the Healers then?"
Garen was obviously a bit irritated by his questions. "If we get hurt in sabre practice, Master Linko takes us to the Healers."
Xanatos sighed. Now, that didn't answer any of his questions.
But then Garen's face lit up as if he had suddenly remembered something. "But once when Obi was defeated by Bruck and his tunic got a bit burned we could see that he had something that looked like an old sabre burn on his back. He told us that he got it when he had sparred with his Master. But he never went to the Healers for that either."
"Did you tell Master Linko about this?"
Garen looked a bit guilty at this. "No, Sir. We thought that if Obi-Wan didn't tell him, it wouldn't be so bad."
Seeing the guilty expression on the boy's face Xanatos immediately attempted to put his mind at ease. "I'm sure it wasn't too bad."
Garen gave him a small smile. "Well, will you talk to him then?"
"Of course I will, Garen. Don't worry. We will work this out."
Garen nodded looking a bit more satisfied now but not really happy. "I will see you on Tuesday then, Padawan Xanatos. Thank you for doing this."
The young man smiled at the boy. "You're welcome. Give my greetings to Bant and Reeft." With that Garen disappeared through the door and Xanatos was left with an even more uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach than he had had the last several weeks.
Qui-Gon came out of his room only moments after Garen had left. He could see from the expression on his Padawan's face that it had not been good news. "Was that about Kenobi?"
Sometimes Xanatos wondered seriously how his Master read him so easily. But he put that thought aside for the moment. There was enough to worry about already. "Yes, it was. That was Garen, a friend of his. He asked me to talk to him." After a brief pause he continued:"Master, did you know Obi-Wan when he was an initiate?"
Qui-Gon nodded. "Yes, I did. In fact I brought him to the Temple. He was seven months old then, but I also taught one of his saber-classes. I think he was 8 or 9 years old."
"And what was he like then? Did he have trouble executing the moves? Or did he behave strangely in any way?"
Qui-Gon sighed. "No, he was a completely normal child. Not at all the way you're describing him now. He was very good at sparring and I heard that he was a good student in most of his other subjects. I don't know what is wrong now, Xani."
The Padawan thought about this for a few minutes and finally decided to voice his suspicions. "Do you think that maybe Master Calan could have anything to do with it? He has been Obi-Wan's Master for eight months now; I've looked it up. Do you think that he does anything to the boy?"
Qui-Gon raised an eyebrow at his apprentice. "Be careful with your accusations, Padawan. We're talking about a well-respected Master. Calan has served the Order for many years. He's loyal and highly regarded for his wisdom."
"I didn't want to make any rash guesses. I was just thinking..."
But his Master cut him off. "Then don't, Xanatos. Maybe you should meditate on this and take into consideration that Kenobi might be the one at fault here. I do remember that he often fought with a boy named Bruck Chun. Maybe he simply can't control his fear."
Xanatos wanted to object but he saw that his Master was angry with him for accusing Calan and knew that it wouldn't do any good. So he just said, "Yes, Master." through clenched teeth and left for the meditation gardens.
******************************
On the way to the gardens Xanatos let the conversations he'd just had with his Master replay in his head. Why was Qui-Gon so dismissive of his idea? There were certainly enough indications for it. The way Obi-Wan reacted whenever someone spoke harshly to him. That he never stood up against Bruck Chun. That he didn't come to class the day after Xanatos had spoken to Calan. The injuries he didn't get treated... The Padawan didn't understand his Master. Why could he not once accept that someone had a real reason to be afraid. That negative feelings were justified in some cases. That it was sometimes even necessary to experience them, just for the sake of learning to deal with them. But Qui-Gon had always been like this. And Xanatos had always hated this attitude. No, a Jedi didn't hate. But he had, despite Jedi rules. Hadn't hated his Master of course, just a certain aspect of his personality. And he was convinced that having real emotions couldn't be a bad thing, no matter what Qui-Gon said.
Without really realising it he had reached the fountains. He sat down on the soft grass and breathed deeply. He loved the gardens. The air around him was filled with the life forces of hundreds of small animals. The artificial sun bathed the area in a warm light that made you forget you were inside. The air was clean, free of all the exhaust fumes the planet was always covered in. Xanatos liked Coruscant. He liked it for the many different races that inhabited it. He liked it for the many lights that seemed to give the planet a pulse at night. He liked all the things it represented: Unity, Power, Peace.
But he simply couldn't imagine living anywhere else but at the Temple. All the people out there had to put up with this planet that never slept every day without the possibility of a retreat where there were still things formed not by civilization but by nature.
Xanatos sighed and leaned his head back against the tree he was sitting under when he registered a movement out of the corner of his eye. He peered around a few branches and there it was again. A figure was swimming in the lake, clad in light brown trousers and tunics. It was a small figure and upon further inspection Xanatos could make out the form of Obi-Wan Kenobi. He sat back again not wanting the boy to see him and observed him quietly through the leaves.
Obi-Wan's movements were strong and yet graceful. He moved with a lightness that he had never seen in the boy. He dived long distances, sometimes swimming fast and sometimes just floating in the water. The clumsiness Master Linko had described was gone, as if washed away by the clear liquid. The fear and nervousness Xanatos had always sensed in him were extinguished. The older Padawan watched in wonder as the small boy crossed the lake again and again, seemingly without getting tired.
After watching him for about half an hour, he decided to draw the boy's attention. Just then Obi-Wan swam to the shore, seated himself on the grass and stared out over the lake.
Xanatos started to walk over to him, making as much noise as possible so as not to startle the young Padawan. However, Obi-Wan still gave a little jump when his teacher sat beside him.
"Hello, Obi-Wan. I saw you swimming in the lake. You're a very good swimmer."
The boy blushed slightly. "Thank you, Sir." He didn't look at Xanatos when he said this but down at the grass where he was pulling out a few blades out of nervousness.
Not wanting to pressure him Xanatos asked, "Would you rather be alone?"
Obi-Wan hesitated for a moment and the older Padawan prepared to leave when he heard the soft reply. "No, Sir. It's okay."
Xanatos had to admit that he was a bit surprised. Always before Obi-Wan had practically run from the classroom at the end of the lesson. Now, however, he looked up at him for the first time without being ordered to do so. Xanatos gave him a friendly smile and the child smiled back tentatively but then averted his eyes once again. "Do you come here often?" Obi-Wan nodded. "Me too. I like the peaceful atmosphere here. It lets you forget everything else." The boy looked up at him again. It was clear from his expression that this was exactly the reason why he was here. "What do you like best about swimming?"
Obi-Wan hesitated again. "That I'm not clumsy. I'm always clumsy in sparring lessons." Xanatos almost couldn't believe that Padawan Kenobi, the one who never spoke to anyone but his close friends without a direct order, was speaking to him so freely about his feelings. He decided to not directly approach the matter that was on his mind. "My Master told me that you were fairly good with the 'sabre in his class."
Obi-Wan looked at him with wide eyes. "Master Jinn told you that?"
Xanatos thought it a bit odd that this was such a big deal but then he recalled how he had always worshipped the Masters and if someone as respected as Qui-Gon remembered you as a good student then it was probably almost unbelievable for a junior Padawan. "Yes, he did. He told me that you had quite the talent."
If possible Obi-Wan's eyes got even bigger. But then his expression faltered and he looked down again. "But I'm not good anymore."
"Who said that?"
"Everyone." There was a trace of defiance in the boy's voice.
Xanatos waited a moment and then asked, "Bruck Chun?"
Obi-Wan looked at him briefly before staring at the ground again. "Yes." It came out as a whisper.
"Did Bant or Garen or Reeft ever say it?"
The young Padawan looked at him sharply, the defiance back in his voice. "Of course not. They're my friends. They're not supposed to say things like that. But they all think it."
Xanatos kept his voice on a low level. "Did you ask them about it?"
At this Obi-Wan moved a bit away from him, his expression angry. "No, I didn't. What do you want to hear? That I think I'm a great student? Well, give up! You won't hear it!"
For a moment Xanatos just stared at the boy and Obi-Wan stared back. Then the look of anger changed to one of horror and he stood up his head bowed. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell at you. I'm sorry. I will submit to any punishment you see fit."
Xanatos finally snapped out of his shock and took the boys arm. "It's okay, Obi-Wan. I'm sorry. It's really none of my business."
Now it was Obi-Wan's turn to be shocked. "You won't punish me? But I got angry. A Jedi isn't supposed to be angry."
There it was again. A Jedi isn't supposed to feel this, to react that way. How Xanatos despised it. Look what it did. He sighed. "Obi-Wan, please sit down." When the boy had complied he continued. "Sometimes we just get angry or afraid. It is not a sin. You can learn to not let yourself be overwhelmed by your emotions but you can never avoid feeling them. That's what makes us human. That's what distinguishes us from the machines we build."
"My Master said that there are good and bad emotions and that I had to learn to only feel the good ones."
Xanatos wanted to search for the man right then and yell at him for telling the boy this nonsense but instead he focused his thoughts on Obi-Wan and tried again to explain. "But that's not possible. You have to know emotions like anger, fear and sorrow in order to be able to experience joy. Otherwise you will never know true happiness."
Obi-Wan looked at him thoughtfully and then shifted his gaze to his chrono. "I have to go. I have to meet my Master in twenty minutes for training."
"Okay Obi-Wan. It was nice talking to you."
The boy blushed again and said in a small voice: "I liked it, too." With that he made his way to the door of the hall the gardens were located in. But before he reached it he turned around once more. "Thank you, Padawan Xanatos." And without waiting for an answer he left.
Xanatos turned his gaze back to the still water. He wasn't completely sure that Obi-Wan believed the things he had said. After all, he was only a Padawan and Calan was a Master. But he was sure that the young apprentice knew deep down that those words were true. It would take time for Obi-Wan to trust him, but they had made a start. With a small smile on his face Xanatos finally settled into a comfortable position and began to meditate.