Fire Emblem 7, the Parody
Chapter 07: Siblings Abroad
"Damnit, where the hell is he? Kozo!" Yoshimo was busy rushing around Yoshimo Studios. "Where the hell are you? You're on in five minutes!"
"He's over there" Guy pointed towards where they had held their meeting earlier.
"Thanks" Yoshimo smiled, rushing over, to catch Kozo and Acentine busy making out. "Kozo, why aren't you in costume! You idiot, you're on in five!"
The two broke off. "Ah, fine, whatever..." Kozo sighed.
"Alright. And for God's sakes, put a shirt on and get off my damn table already!"
Lyn takes her leave from Araphen, finding no aid from its spiteful marquess. Now, she and her companions resume their march towards Caelin in earnest, racing against time, with her grandfather's life the prize. Harried and impatient, Lyn presses onward. Suddenly, a young boy appears and pleads for their assistance...
But before we can show you that, we must give you the obligatory foresight into the danger they are about to face.
Somewhere in a totally different part of the land was a small flooded temple, where a young woman with golden eyes, black hair and a beautiful outfit was standing alongside her lord, a rugged-looking man with scars all across his face.
"Aww... comeon, Brendan!" the woman reached over and caressed his chin. "You have to do this for me! Can't you send somebody to find those kids!"
Brendan flushed a bit. "A...anything for you, darling Sonia...But who to send? ...Ah...Kozo! Kozo!"
A young man with purple hair and blood red robes stepped towards the two. "Yes, Brendan?"
"I need you to go and find two young children. Get them and return them to me..." Brendan instructed.
"Two children? Brendan...are...are you sure?" Kozo hesitated, staring the man in the eye.
"I ask you this as a friend. Of course, you will not be alone, I will send some of my men along with you..."
"But why would you need two children?"
Brendan looked about to answer, but then Sonia cut in, acting terribly sad. , won't you do it for us? No questions?"
Kozo hesitated again, glaring at the woman. "Fine...Fine, I'll do it, whatever."
Sonia cheered. "Yay! Thank you!"
"But I'm not doing it for you, I'm doing it for Brendan..." Kozo snapped at her, whispering something under his breath.
"Aww... Did you hear what he just called me?" Sonia asked.
"No, what?"
She leaned over and whispered something in Brendan's ear.
"Kozo! How dare you, you...hey! Where'd you go?" Brendan looked around, finding no sign of the purple-haired young man. "Damnit...Oh well..."
"You sure he can do it?"
"I put the utmost faith in him."
"Whaaaa!"
A green haired child was tossed out of the inn. He had a brown tunic, brown boots, and a long, yellow scraff. In his hand he carried a small, silver flute.
A man with a dark blue shirt, baggy pants, and short, brown hair glared at the kid. "And stay out!" He slammed the door shut.
The kid got to his feet, and started pounding against the door. "Let me in let me in let me in! he begged. "You were so kind yesterday!"
"I thought you two were just kids" the man explained, not evening opening the door. "Traveling performers. Not fugitives from a group of shamans! Now get! You bards are a plague on us decent folk!"
"That's classical sterotype, right there, buddy!"
There was no answer.
"Aww man..."
All the while, a certain monk was listening to all this. He had long, blonde hair, a blue robe, and a white cloak. "Hmm..."
Now, it was at this time that the Lyndis Legion(tm) came into this area. "So, what's this place, Kent?" Lyn asked.
"Kathelet" Kent explained. "If we keep going south, we should hit Caelin."
"From here, should be a ten day's ride" Sain added in.
"Hang on for just ten more days then...please..." Lyn gave a silent prayer.
And wouldn't you know it? That same, green haired kid ran over to them. "Ex...excuse me..." he stuttered.
"Can I help you?" Lyn asked, leaning down next to the child.
"You and your friends...are you mercenaries?"
"So we've been called" Dorcas explained.
"My name is Nils. You've got to help me!"
"Lady Lyndis, we can't let our guard down, even for a child..." Kent muttered.
"Kid, we don't have much time. Can't you get anyone else?"
"No time! No time! Ninian...my sister! She's been taken away by some bad men!"
"Your sister?" Sain gasped. "Did you say your sister's been accosted?"
"Don't start, Sain..." Cecil grumbled.
Nils nodded. "I don't know what I'd do without Ninian..."
"We have to help this kid!" Sain insisted.
"We haven't the time!" Kent said firmly. "We must get to Castle Caelin!"
"Kent, I want to help this kid. Alright?" Lyn stated clearly.
"M'lady?"
"I'm worried about my grandfather, for sure. But this...I just can not stand for this, and let a child be taken from her home!"
"I see.."
"Sorry Kent."
"No need to apologize, my lady. I am your retainer. You give the order, and I shall carry them."
"Thank you."
"Heh. What a noble speech" Sain laughed. "A true knight, that one! Ah well." He looked down at the boy. "You're in luck, kid! We're going to save your sister!"
"As they say, wootage!" Nils cheered.
"..."
"..."
"Woot..age?" Cecil asked.
"Sorry..."
"So, are you going to take us to the men who've done this?" Lyn asked.
Nils nodded. "They're real tough, so be careful."
"Don't worry. We're pretty tough ourselves, right guys?"
"Aye!" Dorcas bellowed.
"A..aye..." Florina squeaked.
"What'd she say?" Matthew asked. "I was busy...checking on the...supplies..."
"We're on your side" Rath sighed. "You don't need to steal from us."
"Old habits die hard."
Rushing in from no where was a figure clad in dark robes, a showel covering his face. "Hee hee hee...found him!"
"Oh no...it's one of THEM!" Nils yelped.
"By order of the Black Fang, I'm here to take you in. Now come along quietly..."
"No!" Nils shouted, before backing up. "Stay back!" He backed up some more. "...Please?"
"No can do, kid" the dark robed figure sighed. "Now..."
"I don't think so!" Lyn shouted, getting in front of the boy. "Back off!"
"Wha...who the hell are you!?"
"Lyn!" Nils cheered.
"Let the boy's sister go."
"Oh, this is a on out, fellas! Let's give 'em hell!"
As the dark robed man vanished, a band of others came into view. "Careful..." Nils warned. "They're shamans."
"We'll just have to be extra..."
"Excuse me, my lady..." said a soft voice.
Lyn leapt on the spot. "Who are you!?" she shouted.
"Forgive me" said the monk we met several paragraphs earlier. "I never meant to startle you."
"Your robes..." Lyn muttered. "Are you an Elimine bishop?"
"But a mere monk, my lady. My name is Lucius."
"And what business do you have with us?"
"I was in the inn when this boy pleaded for help. The innkeeper shooed him away, not wanting to get involved. He was most...unpleasent."
"I wasn't afraid of him!" the boy beamed. "I'm used to being treated that way."
"Like total crap?"
"Yep."
"Huh..." Lucius shook his head. "May I assist you? I would like to help this boy, if only a little."
"Of course" Lyn smiled.
"Thank you. May the blessing of Saint Elmine be on you."
Sain rushed over, and took Lucius' hand. "T'would be an honor to travel with a fair maiden like you."
"I'm a guy!" Lucius screamed.
"Could've fooled me..."
Lucius growled. "I'm getting mad....so mad, I could hit something!" He looked over at a shaman that approached. "He'll do. Lightning!"
A flash of light, and a ball of energy. The shaman took the attack, and fell over backwards.
"Go Lucy! Go Lucy!" Nils cheered.
"...Let's keep moving..." Lucius insisted.
Everyone went on the attack. "Release the child!" Erk demanded, before throwing twin balls of flame at an enemy archer.
"Aie!" the archer screamed, falling over.
"Or else we'll wipe you all out!" Wil continued, pulling back an arrow, and then letting it fly, through the head of a swordsman.
A duo of shamans teleported in, and readied a spell to wipe out the both of them.
"Not so fast!" Lucius shouted. "Lightning!"
As the spell conected, the shaman let out a scream of "Ah Flux!" before vanishing, his robes falling to the ground.
Quite coincidently, the Flux spell, a shaman's best friend, went off, smacking into Lucius. Who brushed it aside. "Was that supposed to hurt?" he asked no one.
The other shaman started to sweat, when Florina came flying in. She scooped him up with her spear via the back of his robes. "Let me down!" he screamed, as she carried him high. "I demand it!"
"If you insist" Florina shrugged, and pulled her spear out.
"But not up heeeeeeeeereee--"
--KA-THUD--
After a few minutes, the only one left to challenge them was the man who had confronted them from the start. "You all want to save this girl?" he asked. "It is like you are playing knights in a foolish romance novel."
"Ever read any of those foolish romance novels?" Lucius asked.
"Yes" both Sain and Florina answered.
"What was that?" Sain asked.
"N..nothing..." Florina squeaked.
"The knight always wins" Lucius finished, as another Lightning gathered in his hand. The spell fired off against the shaman, who was sent flying into a tree.
Rath readied his bow, and fired several shots, pinning the shaman to said tree. Using this to their advantage, Lyn and Matthew both slashed with their swords.
"You're...slashing at air..." the shamn wheezed. "The girl is...already....ooooh" his head drooped, dead.
"Damn it!" Kozo cursed from his hiding spot. "Of course Brendan wouldn't supply me with some good troops...I'm outta here. I need a drink..."
Now, over a few hills was a temple that these shamans used for an outpost. Lyn and the others entered, Nils shouting out Ninan's name over and over, hoping to find her.
"Are you sure she's here?" Lyn asked.
"If not, where could she be?" Nils asked, on the verge of tears.
"Lady Lyndis!" Kent rode over to the two. "A group of villagers spotted several men riding south!"
"They must have the boy's dear sister!" Sain put together. "Shall we give chase?"
"We'd never catch them" Lyn said sadly.
"No...Ninian..."
"Is THIS the girl you are looking for?" asked a heroic voice.
{cue cheesy, heroic, Indiana Jones like music}
Stepping towards the group was a tall man, with short, red hair, blue eyes, a royal, blue suit of armor, and a long, blue and red cape. In his sheath was a thin rapier, and in his arms was the unconscious form of a girl with long, blue hair, and a white dress, decorations all over.
"Ninian!" Nils cheered, rushing over to the man and the girl.
"She'll be fine. She's just lost consciousness" the man explained. He grinned. His teeth tinged.
--Ting--
"And who are you?" Lyn asked.
"I am Eliwood of Pherae. My father is the marquess."
"The marquess' son..."
"That's what I just said, didn't I?" Eliwood laughed. He looked down on the girl. "She was with a band of ruffians. She looked upset. She looked like she needed rescuing. Was I wrong in involving myself?"
Nils beamed. "As long as Ninian is okay!" he said happily.
"My name is Lyn" Lyn introduced. "I'm from Sacae. And quite weirdly, I'm also the Marquess' Caelin's granddaughter. It's a long story..."
"I've got no where to go."
"And that's my story. It's not an easy tale to believe, I know..."
Eliwood had waited patiently as Lyn told him her backstory. " Nah, I believe you."
"Come again?"
"At first sight, all I saw was a daughter of the plainsfolk. Now I can see it though. You have your grandfather's eyes, and your mother's..." his eyes trailed downwards.
"Ahem."
"Hair."
"I take pride in it. Anyway, do you know my grandfather?"
"The marquess of Caelin is my father's drinking buddy...erm...good friend...I also know that the people of Sacae tell no lies. It's true, isn't it?"
"The drinking buddy or the no lies?"
"The lies."
"Yes, they're true."
"Okay, now you're confusing me..." Sain muttered, who was also listening.
Lyn glared at Sain.
"I'll be quiet."
"I never expected a Lycia lord to be so courteous to a Sacaen nomad."
"You seemed to be in trouble" Eliwood shrugged. "And you're still in the shit creek without a paddle. May I offer assistence?"
"Thanks, but it's my problem, and I'll handle it myself."
"I see. I'll be in the area a few days longer. If you need help with anything, please let me know. Combat, tactics, tense shoulders..."
"I knew it..."
"Ninian? Are you awake?" Nils asked.
Ninian slowly opened her eyes, and just stared at Nils, before trapping him in a big hug. "I'm so glad you're safe, little brother..."
Nils grinned, as Lyn, Kent, Sain and Cecil walked over. "These people helped me."
"Who are they?"
"Erm..I didn't quite get a full introduction..."
"I'm Lyn. And I'm glad you're feeling better."
"Lady Lyn..thank you. My brother and I are traveling performers."
"The both of you? Your brother's a bard, and you are...?"
"A dancer."
"A dancer, eh?" Sain asked, coming a little closer. "If you need to practice, my lap's always available."
"Sain....1, 2, 3..."
"I'm gone."
"You're dress doesn't look like that of a dancer."
"Ninian's dances are those honoring life. It's special....sacred."
"A sacred dance? What does that mean?"
"It means it's sacred. D'uh."
Lyn gave Nils a glare.
"The....the dance we do during performances are normal" Ninian explained. "My other dance though..."
"You only do it in private?" Sain grinned.
"Sain..."
The green knight rushed off
"When they caught me, I twisted my ankle..."
"Of course..."
"I cannot dance to help you. Sorry."
"Don't worry about it. We're just glad you're out of harm's way."
"Thank you."
"But that leg though....you can't travel on it..."
"Well, would it be alright if we were to travel with you?" Nils requested. "We could just use a little more protection, and we can provide some entertainment when things cool down a bit."
"I'm all for it!" Sain beamed.
"...excuse me." Lyn pulled out the Mani Katti. "Cecil, take over."
"Okay (I'd run if I were you.)"
"WHAAA!" Sain ran as fast as he could, as Lyn gave chase.
"Look, kids" Cecil explained, "it's far too dangerous. We're being hunted, you see, and you never know when we're going to be attacked."
"Oh, that's not a problem" Nils grinned. "In fact, we can help you on that factor."
"Oh?"
"See, Ninian and I have a sixth sense about danger. We can sense when it's coming. On a similar note, look out."
"What?"
"Heeeeeelp!" Sain screamed, rushing past Cecil.
--WHAM--
Lyn ran right through Cecil, knocking him into the air. "STAND STILL SO I CAN KILL YOU!!" Lyn screamed.
--Thud--
"Okay...you got a deal..." Cecil said into the ground.
Ninian grinned, before suddenly gasping. "Oh no..."
"What is it, sis?" Nils asked.
"My ring! It's gone!"
"Your ring?" Cecil asked.
"Not Ninis's Grace!"
"The very one."
"They stole it! Those bulleys!"
"I take it that it was very valuable?"
"Yes. It was a keepsake of our departed mother" Ninian explained.
"It was blessed by the spirit of Ninis...there's no other like it in all the world" Nils added in. "And now those creeps have it."
"Hmm..." Cecil pulled out a silver whistle, and blew into it. "Group meeting!" he shouted.
Everyone came forward. Although it could be noted that Sain stood further away from Lyn than usual. And Serra was busy patching Sain up.
"Okay guys, we've got a little problem here. Nils and Ninian say that their ring has been stolen from them. We have a choice. Do we go after those black robed wackos and get it back, or do we continue to Caelin?"
"First kidnapping an innocent girl, and now this?" Sain gasped. "Those curs! I shall hunt them down myself if I have to!"
"Not more distractions..." Erk moaned. "I want to get this mission over with as soon as possible so I don't have to put up with HER anymore..."
"And just out of spite for you saying that, I say we get their ring back." Serra stuck out her tongue.
"groan"
"We can't waste any more time" Kent said firmly. "The marquess Caelin is slowly dying away. We must get to Caelin post haste."
"Think of the GOLD, man!" Matthew said, shaking Kent. "Those weirdos must have some valuables in their hide out, and I want it!"
"These...these people need to be taught a lesson!" Florina said, still stuttering. "I'm willing to face them, and get back their ring!"
"What she said" Lucius said, pointing to Florina.
"Well, by a unanimous vote, we're off to get Ninian's ring back." Cecil grinned at the girl. "Don't worry, we can handle these nut-jobs."
"Th...thank you" Ninian bowed.
After finishing a glass of cold hard... soda (You thought it was gonna be beer, didn't you?), Kozo thought hard about what he was going to do. "No way I can return to Brendan like this...Likely that bitch, Sonia, will have me executed...unless..."
Then he got an idea. He reached into his pocket and looked at the ring he had taken off of the girl's finger, secretly. "Yeah...She'll get them to come looking for it...I probably should return it...or..."
A grin crossed his face, before he ran from the tavern to catch up with the other soldiers..."Dammit, guys! Wait up!"