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Chapter 10

There was a grunt from under the covers when they hit the floor, after which they lay immobile for some time. Then the something under them started to sit up. Xanatos blinked into the bright light that streamed through his bedroom window and wondered for a moment why he was lying on the floor, then why it was so late and his Master hadn't woken him. Oh yes, it was a free day. That was it. And he must somehow have tumbled out of bed. Force, how he hated the fact that his brain was always so sluggish in the morning.

Xanatos got up, threw his covers back onto the bed and walked into the common room. Qui-Gon wasn't there. Probably off meditating. How could anyone be so active in the morning? Xanatos showered and ate some cereal for breakfast and when he was done, his Master still hadn't come back. The gardens sounded pretty good. Maybe he could go for a run. Nodding to himself, Xanatos changed into his exercise clothes and headed out of the quarters.

He greeted several Jedi along the way until someone called his name behind him.

"Hey, Xan, wait up."

He turned around and grinned. "Hey, Kiail." The Padawan waited until his friend had caught up to him. "Haven't seen you in quite some time. What have you been up to?"

The other grinned back at him, flipping his blond Padawan braid over his shoulder and falling into step with Xanatos. "Oh, you know, the usual. One mission after the other, nothing really exciting. What about you?"

"Nothing much at the moment. I'm teaching a class." As soon as he had mentioned it, a young face popped into his head and he remembered his promise to Obi-Wan to meet him again today. He snapped back to the present, noting that Kiail had said something, but as the other Padawan was still talking, he obviously hadn't noticed Xanatos's lack of attention.

"So, where are you headed?"

"To the gardens for a run." He didn't ask his friend to join him. He liked to be alone when exercising. But Kiail didn't seem to be interested, anyway.

"Well, I'll go home for breakfast then. Just returned from that mission...oomph..." Kiail was interrupted as he collided with a smaller form.

Xanatos recognised the child immediately and almost laughed until he saw the look on Obi-Wan's face. Before he could do anything the junior Padawan shot to his feet and bowed. "I'm deeply sorry for my inattention, sir. I will submit to....

But Xanatos couldn't hear it anymore. He crouched down beside Obi-Wan and interrupted him. "No need to apologise, Obi-Wan. No harm done. See, Padawan Litho can still stand on his own. "

It was intended as a joke, but the small Padawan obviously didn't understand it, because he once again bowed deeply, blushed and said in a small voice, "I'm sorry, Padawan Litho. It will not happen again."

Kiail grinned down at him. "That's okay, kid. As Xan said, no harm done."

Xanatos once again gave the boy an encouraging smile. "See? Not so bad. Now, what do you think, I will go for my run now and then I'll get you in about two hours? Is that okay with you?"

Looking up briefly, Obi-Wan nodded. "Yes, thank you, Xanatos."

"You're most welcome. I'll see you then, Obi-Wan."

When the boy had turned a corner, Xanatos stood again. Kiail was grinning at him. "What's this? Don't tell me you've already picked out a Padawan. Isn't that just a bit early?"

Xanatos gave him a dirty look. "Very funny. He's in my class."

The other laughed. "And do you always spend your free time with pupils from your class? I tell you Xan, be careful. Those kids are clingy. If you talk to him too much, he'll never let you go."

Xanatos didn't say anything.

"Oh, I see, it's already too late. Well, I'll see you around, Xan."

"Yeah, see you, Kiail." With that they both went their separate ways.

It was later when he was on his way back to his quarters, tired and sweaty from his run, that Kiail's words came to his mind again. Would he really mind if Obi-Wan didn't let him go? Just before he pushed open the door, he had his answer. No, he wouldn't mind at all.

An hour later Obi-Wan and Xanatos were in the gardens again, sitting beneath the tree where Xanatos had sat when he had first seen the young Padawan swim in the lake. They hadn't said much since leaving Master Windu's quarters and Xanatos was content with it. He was sure the boy would say something when he wanted to.

At last, Obi-Wan spoke. "Is Padawan Litho your friend?"

Xanatos looked down at the boy. "Yes, he is."

"Just like Garen for me?"

Xanatos thought for a moment. No, Kiail was nothing like Garen. Kiail would never have noticed if something had been wrong with Xanatos when they were smaller. And even if he would have noticed, he wouldn't have gone to one of the Masters asking for help. Kiail was too wrapped up in his own life. Xanatos had never experienced the sort of friendship Obi-Wan and Garen shared, but he could hardly tell the other Padawan that.

"Yes, I suppose it's a bit like your friendship with Garen."

Obi-Wan nodded thoughtfully, staring out over the water, seeming to think very hard on this. "He didn't seem to mind that I ran into him."

Xanatos blinked. Talking to Obi-Wan was a bit like a roller-coaster ride. You never knew which direction it would take the next moment. "Of course he didn't. It was no more your fault than it was his. He didn't watch were he was going, either."

Obi-Wan looked at him, frowning. "But he's a Senior Padawan."

Again, Xanatos was speechless. What did it have to do with his rank? But obviously it was a good reason in the boy's eyes, so he would just have to go along with it. "That's true. But that doesn't mean he doesn't have to watch where he is going. It doesn't mean that he is more right than you."

It was clear from Obi-Wan's expression that he had never heard of this before.

Obi-Wan sat in his room doing homework, trying to concentrate and not doing a very good job of it. He thought about everything Xanatos had said. The hours with the older Padawan were fast becoming his favourite time of the day. All in all, life was pretty good at the moment. Master Windu still hadn't gotten angry at him and while he knew that it was only a matter of time, Obi-Wan had learned to appreciate every moment of peace he could get.

It was in that moment that there was a rap on the door. He waited expectantly until he remembered that Master Windu always waited for him to say something before he entered the room. Why he did it was beyond him. "Yes?"

The Master walked in, a smile on his face. Master Windu smiled a lot, at least when he was inside his quarters. Outside he seemed much sterner. Master Calan had never smiled in Obi-Wan's presence, well, not a nice smile at least.

"Is everything all right, Obi-Wan?"

That was another thing he was wondering about constantly. Why should Master Windu care whether he was all right?

"Yes, Master."

The smile again and then the tall Jedi sat on the bed beside him. Without thinking about it, Obi-Wan shrank back. The Master would look over the homework and find out that Obi-Wan hadn't been concentrating properly. But instead he spoke softly.

"I would like to take you to see someone, Obi-Wan. Master Migaja just wants to talk to you, okay?"

Another Master wanted to talk to him? Why? What had he done wrong? But he knew that it wasn't a good idea to ask questions when he was already in trouble. So he just nodded.

"Good. We will leave in 10 minutes." With that the Master walked out of the room.

Nervousness and fear gripped Obi-Wan. He didn't know a Master Migaja, so it couldn't be about one of his classes. Whatever it was, it couldn't be good if another Master wanted to see him. Pulling on a fresh tunic, in the hopes that he could make a good first impression, Obi-Wan prepared for the worst.

Master Migaja, as it turned out, was a soul healer by the small plate beside her door. Obi-Wan had heard stories about soul healers and he knew that they were very gifted in sensing emotions even from Jedi they didn't share a bond with. Maybe this was about Master Calan. Maybe they wanted to find out why he had left, and whether it was Obi-Wan's fault. He swallowed and concentrated hard on not fidgeting while Master Windu pushed the buzzer.

The first impression Obi-Wan got of Lenga Migaja was that she had very kind eyes. She was an elderly woman and she looked, Obi-Wan decided, like a grandmother should. But he had learned that looks could be deceiving and so he approached her with the same mistrust as he did everyone else.

Master Migaja smiled at him when she opened the door. "Good afternoon. You must be Obi-Wan."

He nodded.

"Please come in." He took two steps inside her office, but stopped when he realised that Master Windu wasn't following. When he looked at him, the Master smiled understandingly.

"I will return to our quarters and you can return when you are done here."

Obi-Wan wanted to ask him to stay, but he just looked at the floor and nodded. He heard the door close and he was alone with the soul healer.

"Please sit down, Obi-Wan."

He did as he was told, sitting down on a sofa, but didn't look up. He could feel her sitting down opposite him in an armchair.

"Look at me, please."

Reluctantly he lifted his eyes and looked into the pale blue ones of Master Migaja. Her face was wrinkled, but most of the wrinkles seemed to be laugh lines. Her hair was almost entirely white, except for a few dark blond strands that peeked through and were held back from her face by a ribbon. Obi-Wan found that he could easily hold her gaze, could maybe even smile back. But no, he would not let himself trust so easily.

"Don't be afraid, Obi-Wan. I just want to talk."

Obi-Wan took a deep breath and then looked down again. It was easier that way.

"How are you, Obi-Wan?"

Was this some kind of test? Surely she hadn't asked him to come here in order to know how he was. But at the moment he saw no other way than to answer. "Fine, Master."

"You may call me Lenga. Master Migaja always sounds so formal."

Too formal. It was exactly what Xanatos had said. He looked briefly at her before dropping his gaze again.

"Obi-Wan, I would like to talk to you about Master Calan."

He had known it. It was about Master Calan, after all. All the nice words and smiles had just been to get him to relax, to let his guard down.

"Do you know why Master Calan isn't here?"

Obi-Wan held his breath. He knew of course, but he had no idea what the healer expected of him. What should he say?

"Obi-Wan, do you know?"

He nodded, staring at a spot on her carpet, not daring to look up to see the expression on her face.

"Would you like to tell me?"

Obi-Wan's head shot up at this. She asked him whether he wanted to say? What would happen if he didn't? He didn't dare to say no, so he said nothing. He desperately wished Xanatos was here. The older Padawan would know what to do. He wouldn't condemn him for not knowing. Xanatos understood him, at least to a certain degree.

The Master suddenly got up and knelt before him. Obi-Wan flinched away. She would punish him. He hadn't answered her questions. He hadn't known what to say. He had failed again. But Master Migaja didn't hit him, instead laying a hand on his arm.

"There is no wrong answer, Obi-Wan. If you do not wish to tell me about it, then we will talk about something else. It's no problem."

"I...I..." Just say it, Kenobi. Don't be such a coward. "I do not wish to talk about it, Master." He looked up then and saw her smile at him.

"Then we won't. Why don't you tell me what you think of Master Windu instead?"

Another of those questions. 'There is no wrong answer,' she had said. Well, maybe he should just try. "He...he's very nice."

"What makes him so nice?"

Obi-Wan took a deep breath again. "He asks me how I am."

There was a moment of silence and the Padawan wondered whether he should say more, but then the healer spoke again. "And is he the only one who asks?"

Now that he thought about it, he realised that he had heard that particular question quite often during the last few days. "Well, Xanatos does and Master Jinn." As an afterthought he added. "And you just did."

"Why do you think we ask you?"

Obi-Wan blinked slowly. It certainly was a question he had wondered about before. "I don't know, Master. Maybe you want to be polite?"

"Maybe you should think about that, Obi-Wan, and we will talk about it again tomorrow."

Tomorrow? Did that mean that he had to come here every day now? He nodded.

"Very well." The healer stood up and showed him to the door. "Same time tomorrow, Obi-Wan. Have a good evening."

"And you, Master."

Obi-Wan could feel her eyes on him until he had rounded a corner. He didn't want to go back. Sure, she had been nice and hadn't ordered him to do anything, but he was sure that would come. She just tried to gain his trust first.

Deep in thought, he didn't hear the door open beside him until someone called his name. "Hello, Obi-Wan." It was Xanatos.

A smile appeared on Obi-Wan's face as he looked up at him. "Hello, Xanatos."

"Where are you headed?"

"To Master Windu's quarters."

"Then we're heading in the same direction. I'll accompany you for a bit, if you don't mind."

Obi-Wan was flustered once more. "Of course, I don't."

"Good. So, what did you do the whole afternoon? Any exciting adventures?"

The younger Padawan weighed in his mind whether he should tell Xanatos about his afternoon. Well, who else could he tell? "I talked to a soul healer."

"Doesn't sound too bad, if you ask me. It's much better than a normal healer. All they ever do is annoy you with their needles."

Obi-Wan grinned at him. They walked the rest of the way in silence until they had reached Master Windu's quarters. Then Xanatos spoke again.

"Well, I'll see you tomorrow then. When's the best time for you?"

Tomorrow. He had to go back to the soul healer tomorrow. She would ask more questions that he wouldn't know how to answer. "I have to go back to Master Migaja tomorrow."

"Doesn't matter. We can meet before that or after."

Yes they could, or...working up all the courage he could, Obi-Wan asked the one question he needed to ask most of all and which he dreaded at the same time. "Will you go with me?"