Rating: M
Summary: What happens after the coin toss.
Disclaimer: Still not mine…:)
Thanks: Huge thanks and hugs go to Reni-Maniac who helped me through all of this. For your faith in me and this story, for your encouragement and putting up with the possessed wink wink me. I also would like to thank all of the people who liked the previous chapter and let me know it.
A/N: Since I realized that the characters' motives might have been too unclear in the first chapter, I've reposted it now with some additions. The storyline remains the same. I hope you'll enjoy both chapters. As usual, the feedback is very welcome.
A/N: I'm really sorry for not posting in ages. Real life and writer's block got in the way. But it is my new year's resolution to update quickly this time.;)
CHAPTER TWO
0442 ZULU
MCMURPHY'S TAVERN
WASHINGTON, DC
Harm was literally speechless. He couldn't understand what had just happened. He had only wanted to do the best thing for them, for her. He had no idea why she had reacted the way she did. He just knew that he had screwed up. Again. And this time royally. 'Just great, Rabb. Congratulations. So much for not hurting her anymore…' he scolded himself.
"What are you waiting for, Harm? Go after her!" AJ's voice interrupted his thoughts and the silence that had fallen in the room after Mac's outburst. That was all the encouragement Harm needed. He just briefly looked at his CO, determination evident in his eyes, nodded and now it was his turn to storm out of the bar.
0446 ZULU
OUTSIDE MCMURPHY'S TAVERN
WASHINGTON, DC
Once outside, Harm looked around searching for a slim figure in a dark red dress. It didn't take him long to find her, as Mac was sitting on the sidewalk only several yards away from McMurphy's entrance, her back leaning against the wall and her knees drawn to her chest. Her head was bent down and she was sobbing violently.
"Mac…" he called her softly as he approached.
"Leave me the hell alone!" She got up and started walking away, as quickly as her high heels would allow her. She was still crying.
"Sarah… wait…" He still didn't raise his voice, but something in the way he had said her name made her stop and look at him.
"I'm not calling anything off." His voice was quiet and steady, but also strong and decided at the same time.
"You're… not?" She couldn't believe what she was hearing.
"I'm not," he confirmed. "I need you too much to give up now. I'm sorry if you got the impression I didn't care about you."
Mac was still shocked. She had thought that he got cold feet, realized they weren't meant to be, whatever. That he didn't want to be with her. She was relieved to have been wrong, but still insecure and suspicious. "So why did you suggest we cancel the coin toss?" she asked in a small voice.
"I still think we should do it…" Harm wasn't entirely sure that it was the wisest thing to say right now; especially that Mac immediately shot him a very angry glare. He didn't want to upset her anymore, but he had to be honest. And he had to make her understand.
"Why, Harm?" she was confused now. "I thought you wanted us as much as I do. You said you did. And this whole 'fate-can-keep-us-together-forever' scheme was your idea. I accepted it, because I decided that being with you was more important for me than my career. I've just lost my professional position, but didn't say a word, because I know that you don't get anything for free. And I thought that I got you. I was wrong, I guess." This time her voice wasn't angry. It was just bitter and disappointed.
"You weren't wrong, Sarah." Her given name again. She was sure that if he were going to continue using it, she would turn into a warm puddle at his feet. So much for any resistance… "I am yours. Forever. But I don't want you to have to give anything up. I want you to be totally happy. I know that being a Marine is an integral part of who you are. That's why I thought we could go to San Diego, regardless of the coin toss' result. I watched you since Bud announced it was heads. You looked sad, disappointed. I hated myself for being the reason that you felt that way. I wanted to do everything I could to take that look off your face and replace it with happiness. I'll resign my commission and go to San Diego with you if it'll make you happy."
When he was talking, it finally hit her how much Harm loved her. With that realization all her previous concerns went out of the window. Her expression gradually changed from resignation, to hope, happiness, shock, and, finally, amusement. "Oh, you doofus! Simply being with you makes me the happiest woman on Earth. And it doesn't matter if we're in London, San Diego or Timbuktu, as long as we're together. And it's me who should apologize. I shouldn't have snapped at you like I did. By the way, we're still going to England, in case you're wondering. Fate has decided that and we're gonna comply," she added with a playful smile.
"You really want to give up your career?" asked Harm, completely astonished.
"Well, not exactly want to, but one of us has to, and I can see no reason why it shouldn't be me. I know I seemed sad after I learnt the news, but it was just because I needed some time to adjust to the idea. You remember what the General said: 'old habits die hard'. But I will be okay eventually, because I love you and I want nothing more than to be with you."
"Care to repeat that last part?" Harm tried hard to remain calm, but he couldn't help the huge grin that spread across his face.
"The one about wanting nothing more than to be with you?" she was also grinning and in fact having a grand time teasing him. To tell the truth, she hadn't intended to tell him that way, but it just happened and after all it was true, so she didn't regret it.
"No… the other one", he was squirming.
"The one about loving you?" she asked innocently.
"You do?"
"I thought you'd know by now."
"I'm no mind reader, Mac", he unconsciously repeated her words from a few hours prior.
"Now you know what I meant earlier at your apartment", she said, satisfied that she taught her sailor a lesson.
"You're evil, MacKenzie", he laughed and pulled her close.
"But you love me anyway", she wrapped her hands around his neck.
"More than you'll ever know", he said sincerely, just before his lips descended on hers for a long, loving kiss.
After they pulled away, Harm gently rested his forehead against hers. His eyes were fixed on Mac who was still slightly dazed and incapable of uttering anything but a "wow…"
"I second that", he replied with a quiet chuckle. "I just hope I will not have to get punched in the face each time I want a kiss like that."
"I did not punch you!" she protested.
"Okay, but it still hurt."
"I'm sorry…" she looked down, ashamed of her previous action.
"Sarah, you don't have to apologize to me. But know that I'm there for you always and you don't have to run away from me with your problems. We can resolve them together." He told her gently while holding her hands in his.
She flashed him a radiant, but slightly shy smile. "Thank you. I know that now. But I do need to apologize. I thought I was being strong and independent when in fact I was selfish, plain and simple. I should've included you… I didn't want to trouble you with my insecurities… especially since I didn't feel entitled to have them at all…" she started talking faster and faster, wanting to make sure Harm wouldn't be angry at her earlier outburst.
"Mac, shut up." He silenced her, putting his finger on her lips. "I understand, really. You had every right to have second thoughts about giving up the Corps. The very one that helped you become the woman I love, I might add." Then he enveloped her in a tight hug.
Mac drew strength from his embrace. Although she already knew he loved her, her heart still skipped a bit every time she heard the words. It made her all warm inside to know that she was his and nothing would change that. No misunderstanding and no mistake of hers would alter their feelings for each other.
After a few moments he pulled away, grinned and said: "I think we'd better head back to the bar now. The guys might get worried, you know."
"Yeah, 'bout a certain squid getting his ass chewed by this big, bad Marine", Mac chuckled.
"That too." Harm smiled, wrapped his arm around her waist, and led them back inside.