Partying is such sweet soiree (dun dun dun…)
Author's Note- Okay, I don't own Anchor Man, Fairly Odd Parents, Foster's script,Juniper Lee, or "Extra" Gum. Just a quick disclaimer.
"Now remember, Mr. Herriman," Madame Foster instructed, "no wild parties while I'm gone."
"You have my word," Mr. Herriman vowed. As, he turned to leave, he came face-to-face with the creature he hated more than anything…
"Hiya, Mr. Herriman!" Bloo squeaked.
"Augh! Master Blooregard! What do you think you're doing? What did you hear?"
"Ah, nothing important," Bloo scoffed. Mr. Herriman stared at him suspiciously.
"You know not to throw any wild parties don't you?" he asked cautiously.
"WILD PARTIES! I mean, of course I won't," Bloo said excitedly. Mr. Herriman just gave him an evil eye. "'You have my word,'" Bloo quoted. Mr. Herriman stroked his mustache and hopped off. But once he was out of earshot, Bloo finished… "…That this will be the wildest housiest house party this house has ever partied!" So he ran off to tell the rest of Foster's.
After he had told everybody else he ran to find Honey.
"Hey, Honey!" Bloo called excitedly.
"Yeah?" said a voice behind him.
"Aah! Don't do that! You nearly gave me a heart-attack!" Bloo panted to Honey.
"Well I'd best save that for Herriman then," Honey smirked evilly, "so whatcha want?"
"We're gonna have a little house party while Madame Foster and Frankie are out."
"Um, that sounds like the best idea I've heard all day and everything, but what are we going to do about Mr. Herriman?" Honey asked.
"We're gonna…" Bloo started and then stopped, "good point. Hmm…" Then suddenly Honey got an idea…
Knock knock…"Yes?" Mr. Herriman called from his office. Honey entered the large room.
"Hello, Mr. Herriman," she said sweetly and bubbly, "I was wondering if you'd do something for a cute little bunny-bird-fox girl like me?"
"Uh, yes?" Herriman asked nervously. Honey used her cute little animal skills to charm him.
"I like animals," Honey chirped, "they're so cute! When I lived with Tessa, her parents wouldn't let her have any pets. I want a cute little bunny from…" Honey stopped to think of some outrageous lie, "Antarctica!"
"Antarctica? I had no idea rabbits came from there," Mr. Herriman said.
"Um… yeah! They're a… really rare breed," Honey fibbed.
"I'll retrieve one for you!" Herriman volunteered.
"No, no," Honey said dramatically, "don't waste your time on little me."
"No, really," Herriman said enhanced in love, "I won't disappoint you!" and he left.
"Wow, what'd you do?" Bloo asked amazed.
"Oh, just a little 'girl-charm.' But let's cut the conversation and…"
Later…"GET THIS PARTY STARTED!" Hairy (don't ask) screamed. This was the wildest party ever! Wilt was having a dance off with Dancey Pantalones, Coco was having a girl talk with another friend called Duckie, Eduardo was rooting for Wilt, Hairy was wreaking havoc, everybody else was doing whatever, and last Bloo and Honey were just dancing with each other.
"So, was this an awesome idea or what?" Bloo asked.
"Yeah! I just wish Mac and Tessa were…" but before Honey finished, the door creaked. Was it Herriman? No! It was Mac and Tessa!
"Whoa what the! Bloo what's going on here?" Mac asked.
"Dude, wicked house party," Tessa commented.
"Mackalacka! So glad you could make it! We're just havin' a little party, that's all," Bloo assured Mac.
"Mr. Herriman's letting you?" Tessa asked.
"Yeah, right, his idea, not mine," Bloo said sarcastically. With that a huge banner that read "Bloo's House Party (by no means Herriman's idea,") flew down. Bloo looked over at Honey who was holding a rope attached to the banner.
"Uh, heh heh, did you want this up?" she giggled.
"Couldn't have picked a better time, Hon…" Bloo mumbled. Mac just stared angrily at his imaginary friend. "Oh, stop with the face." Just then Wheelie zoomed up to Bloo with a tray of candy. Bloo suddenly remembered something that gave him an evil idea. "Here, have some candy," he said teasing Mac with it. Mac jumped back and stammered,
"Bloo no! You know what happens when I eat sugar!" Bloo realized Mac was trying not to give in which made him push harder.
"You alright, Mac?" Tessa asked.
"Uh, fine, dandy."
"Then why not have… a piece of candy?" Bloo said suddenly. Mac ran off screaming,
"BLOO! YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS WHEN I EAT SUGAR!" he shouted frantically.
"CAN'T RESIST THE SOUR JELLY BOOGER!" Bloo called chasing after Mac. The girls just stared helplessly… or were they both?
"Bloo! You'd better stop!" Tessa shouted.
"Just wanted to offer you some soda pop!" Honey grinned waving a cola in front of Tessa's eyes. "Or should I say a CAFFINATED soda pop…" Tessa twitched.
"Honey… tell me you aren't gonna…" Tessa stammered. With that Honey let out some absurd battle cry and Tessa knew that she had to do the thing a genius would do… RUN FOR PITY'S SAKE! RUN!
"NO! NOT YOU TOO!" the eight-year-olds screamed.
"MWAHAHAHA!" Bloo and Honey laughed maniacally. Little did Mac know, he and Tessa were just about to bump into… A PUNCH BOWL! (Dun dun DUN.)
Crash. Bang. Smash. Wee. Yay. (Don't ask, I like saying things like that unenthusiastically.)
"Ow, ptooie! Blech! Way too much sugar! Don't you think so, Mac? Mac?" Tessa asked. She looked at Mac and saw that his eyes were really wide and he was shaking a lot.
"Sugar…" he whispered.
"Uh-oh," Tessa said.
"SUGAR! POUR SOME SUGAR ON MAC!" and he ran off so fast that he ran out of his clothes.
Honey just held her hands over her mouth, Bloo held his hands to his ears, and Tessa shielded her eyes.
"Is the nightmare over, Honey?" she asked.
"Your nightmare just literally ran out the door." Honey replied. Bloo started shaking up a soda can. Honey smiled evilly as she realized what Bloo was doing.
"I don't even know my own crush anymore…" Tessa muttered.
"Well, Tess, you know what they say, if you can't beat 'em… JOIN 'EM!" and Bloo smashed the full can on the ground. Soda splashed everywhere… including a drop that landed on Tessa's tongue.
"Caffeine…" she said starting to shake and twitch violently. Then she shot up in the air like a rocket and bounced off the walls faster than a cheetah.
"Oh yeah…" Honey mumbled, "I forgot about this."
"Um, how'd you catch her?" Bloo asked ducking just in time.
"Like this," then Honey shot out a furry hand and clenched her fist in the air and Tessa suddenly appeared being held by the collar of her shirt. Bloo was amazed.
"Wow, that was easy."
After the two friends got Tessa put in a cage with five different locks… (Wait… where'd they get all those locks? Hmm…)
"OK, we got Tessa taken care of now we just need Mac," Bloo said.
"Right!" Honey said pulling out a butterfly net.
"Oh, is it father's day already?" Bloo asked.
"I guess so." (copyright from Fairly Odd Parents) Suddenly the music stopped and everyone looked at the front door.
"What?" Bloo asked.
"Oh, crud it's Herriman." Honey whispered. Sure enough, there he was and he was staring angrily at Bloo.
"Uh, surprise? We've been robbed?" Bloo said nervously coming up with lame excuses.
"Looks like a wild party…" Herriman steamed.
"Wild Party? There was no wild party! Now excuse me but I gotta catch old nudie."
"Master Bloo, you aren't going anywhere! You have violated over fifty house rules…"
"Sheesh, who knew there were so many rules…" Honey commented rudely.
"Oh, that reminds me, here Miss Honeywell," Mr. Herriman said sweetly handing her a small white rabbit and it felt really cold.
"Whoa. A bunny from Antarctica? Who knew those existed?" Honey awed.
"You mean to say you lied?" Herriman asked.
"About that yes, but always did love bunnies!" she squealed hugging the frozen rabbit. Herriman smiled pleased with himself. Bloo sadly lowered his head a little.
"Oh, wait, I wasn't finished with you Blooregard. You have violated your word!"
"Oh yeah? Well… you gave Madame Foster your word! Your word everything would be fine, your word there would be no wild house parties, Mr. Herriman! YOUR WORD and me keeping my word is clearly dependent on you keeping your word, which you clearly couldn't keep," Bloo said and then panted.
"Your point?" Herriman remarked.
"The house is in shambles, everyone's favorite eight-year-old boy is tearing through the town in his birthday suit, everyone's favorite eight-year-old girl is locked in a diamond safe with five different diamond locks, and you're gonna have to explain to sweet old Madame Foster how it all happened, on YOUR watch," Bloo said. Mr. Heriman gasped.
"You're right! What am I going to do?"
"I suggest we round up Mac-the-sugar-demon," Honey sighed.
"Exactly," Bloo exclaimed, "But it's gonna take some serious speed."
"What exactly are you driving at?" Heriman asked worriedly. Bloo just smiled evilly.
Latah…
A really awesome car with hotrod flames sped down the road. Bloo was at the wheel, Hairy was at the brake, Herriman was in the passenger seat, and Honey was pressing her face against the window.
"Reer reer reer!" Bloo imitated.
"Master Bloo? Is that quite necessary?" Mr. Herriman quivered.
"Yes. Reere reer reer!"
"How you received a license I will never know!"
"License?"
"Hey there he goes!" Honey exclaimed. Mac, thank goodness he was so fast that he was only a blur, zoomed down they road saying something that sounded like,
"Ygehfghfgkygkhgfjusfuyfglegflifugfyfhefkegfkueygfksu SUGAR!"
"Whoa, bit of an over-share there…" Honey groaned disgustedly. (Thank you BiggestJuniperLeeFanEver.) Bloo turned the car into an alley where he cornered Mac.
"We've got him cornered in an alley!" Bloo shrieked maniacally.
"I DON'T KNOW WHAT WE'RE YELLING ABOUT!" Honey yelled.
"Full speed ahead!"
"LOUD NOISES!" (Thanks Anchor Man.)
"You know that's really annoying."
"YES!"
"Stop yelling."
"OK! I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM!"
"WOULDYOU JUST SHUT UP ALREADY!"
"Dude, all you had to do was ask."
"Say," Bloo remarked, "Where's Mr. Herriman?"
"Finding a container for his joy, Mr. Hot-shot speeder," Honey said rolling her big eyes.
"Bloo! Lookie lookie!" Mac squealed.
"Aah! No you don't!" Bloo screeched revving up the car. Mac ducked in protection. Bloo, realizing his threat worked, hopped out of the car and threw a towel over Mac so that Honey would stop shielding her eyes and bumping into the dumpster.
"Hey, Mac," Bloo said calmly, "You ok buddy?"
"S-sugar…" Mac muttered.
"Oh, you mean like this piece of gum?" Bloo said pulling out a stick of Polar Ice "Extra" gum. (Which I'm interestingly chewing on as I write this.)
"SUGAR!" Mac exclaimed. He took the gum and chewed it. But he suddenly realized something about the gum…
"AUGH! SUGAR-FREE! IT BURNS US! IT FREEZES US!"
"Quick! Grab him!" Bloo demanded.
"What! Ew! No! You do it!" Honey squealed disgutedly.
"Fine," Bloo groaned. They all jumped in the car and drove off. (Without Mr. Herriman…)
The minute they burst the doors open, they saw Madame Foster and Frankie.
"Oh, f…" Honey started before Bloo interrupted her with an incredulous look, and then she finished, "Fiddlesticks… what? You seriously thought I was gonna swear? C'mon, I'm four!"
"Bloo, where is Mr. Herriman?" Madame Foster asked.
"Uh… about that…" Bloo giggled. Just then, Mr. Herriman hopped in the house. But the second he caught a glimpse of Madame Foster, he turned around and started to hop away.
"YOU GET OVER HERE MR. HERRIMAN!" Madame Foster screeched. She ran out the door after Mr. Herriman. All that Bloo and Honey heard was some ouching noises and a few intelligible shrieks. Then Madame Foster came back in, dragging Herriman by the ear. "I mean really, whoever heard of a wild party without me?" Madame Foster chirped sweetly. Bloo grinned. Honey laughed her head off at the idea of an old lady beating the tar out of Herriman. Mac and Tessa on the other hand, well…
"S-sugar…"
"C-c-caffeine…"
TO BE CONTINUED…
Next is "Bloo's inner thoughts." Well… not so inner…