Fire Emblem 7, the Parody
Chapter 16 Gaiden: Port City of Bandon
The next morning saw the group up early. They packed their things, and readied themselves for adventure. As they started to head out from Castle Caelin, Dorcas noticed something on the shore of a nearby river. He gasped, and squealed in joy, causing everyone to turn.
Dorcas rushed down, and picked up a small, nickel pendant. Dorcas pressed it against his cheek, nuziling it gently. "Did you miss daddy? Daddy missed you..."
That earned him some stares. "... ...What?" he asked as innocently as a guy like him could sound.
Needless to say, everyone kept their distence from Dorcas today.
After speaking with the Ostian spy Leila, Eliwood realizes he must travel to Valor, the Dread Isle. The small island, located south of Lycia, is said to be home to the Dragon's Gate. Heading for the southern coast of Caelin, they seek passage in the port of Badon.
"Now look here, mate" Hector said, waving his finger at an old sea captain. "We need passage to the Dread Isle!"
"And I'm telling you" the old man shook his head. "You're mad! Going to the island where none have returned? A fool's errand!"
"Look, we've a mission that involves getting to the Dread Isle" Lyn pointed out.
"Please, if you cannot help us, isn't there anyone in this village who can?" Eliwood asked.
"Well, if you're heart set on going to that cursed island...there might be a way...."
"And that would be...?"
"Pirates."
Lyn twitched. "Pirates?"
"Well, if we have no other choice..." Hector said, rubbing his chin and tapping his foot.
"Wait, you're not serious, are you Hector?" Lyn asked, eye brows raised. "I mean, working with pirates? Unbelievable!"
"You're considering it, aren't you Eliwood?" Hector asked.
"If there's no other way, what else can we do?" Eliwood shrugged.
"Gah, you too, Eliwood?" Lyn huffed. "I misjudged you. It's foolishness to trust the goodwill of pirates! I'm finding another way!" With that, Lyn turned around, and stormed off.
"Geez, who put a spike in her slippers?" Hector asked.
"Her parents were killed by bandits. Brigands by land, pirates by sea...they're all the same to Lyndis. Lawbreakers and murderers."
"Huh...my parents died of illness...but I can understand her feelings. Do we abandon the pirate plan?"
"But..."
"Shame 'bout the girl, but there's no other way" the sailor shook his head.
"We'll just have to meet with them" Eliwood suggested. "We won't be able to decide until then."
"True, true" Hector nodded.
"I'd suggest Fargus" the sailor pointed out. "Boldest pirate captain around here, if not in the world."
"Right, and where can we find him on a Tuesday?" Eliwood asked.
"Hmm...I'd say at the Old Sea Dog."
"Right, and where's the Old Sea Dog?"
"Hmm. On Tuesdays, he's usually in bed with the captain."
Eliwood sighed an exasperated sigh.
"Ar, what do ye welps want?" growled a tall man with a gray, scraggily beard, and a pale white bandana. He had a purple vest, heavily muscled chest and big hands. His lower body was hidden by the table. "You want to see me I assume?"
"Are you Fargus, commander of the pirate armada?" Eliwood asked politely.
Which was met with Fargus bursting his gut. "Arr-har-har! Commander of the pirate armada! Are you naturally an idiot, or just naive?"
"You rotting bastard..." Hector growled, readying his axe.
"Down, Hector" Eliwood commanded. He turned to face Fargus. "I am sorry. How shall I adress you?"
"You don't scare easy" Fargus observed, grinning. "Proves you're not an idiot. Captain is fine. I am Fargus, captain of the Darvos."
"Fargus...Master Fargus? Or shall I call you captain?"
"You're not one of me mates. Fargus is fine."
"Right, now, Fargus, I wish to hire you and your ship. My friends and I need to get to Valor" He offered his hand. "Can we shake on it?"
Fargus took Eliwood's hand, and gave a gasp. "You've got a woman's hand, milord! I'll wager these dainty pinkies never laid anchor in a storm."
Eliwood raised his eyebrows in a disturbed manner, and pulled his hand away. "Well, you're right there..."
Fargus laughed, and pinched Eliwood's cheek, before gasping again. "You've got woman's skin milord!" He let go, and folded his arms over his chest. "I'll wager it never felt the lash of a cat 'o nine tails, been rubbed with salt, and flayed off by a pirate chief to make stockings for his best cabin boy."
Eliwood gave a forced chuckle, rolling his eyes. "How uncanny. I don't know how you do it, but you're right again."
Fargus snorted. "Why should I let a prissy-boy noble and his brutish friend on my ship?"
"Perhaps for all the money in my purse?" Eliwood asked, pulling out a sack of money.
Fargus gasped yet again. "You've got a woman's purse, milord!" He took the sack, and looked it over. "I'll wager that purse never served as a rowing boat. I'll wager it never had sixteen marineers tossing in it."
"I see that when it comes to tales of courage and valor, I'll have to keep my mouth shut" Eliwood said sarcastically.
Fargus gasped. Eliwood groaned. "You've got a woman's mouth, milord!" Fargus gasped, pointing. "I'll wager that mouth never had to chew through the side of a ship to escape the dreaded spindly killer fish."
"See, when I came in here, I didn't know I'd have to eat your ship along with hiring it."
Fargus peaked inside the sack of money, and snorted. "Not enough" he growled, shoving the bag back.
"How much will you need?" Eliwood asked.
"100,000 gold."
"One hundread thousand!?" Hector screamed. "You're mad!"
"Same to you, buddy" Fargus said with a sneer. "A trip to Valor, big risk in it. Compensation, boys."
Eliwood and Hector looked at each other, before nodding. Eliwood turned back to face Fargus, and got out of his seat. "Well, Fargus, we shall collect your amount, and return here as fast as our legs will carry us."
Fargus gasped. "You've got a woman's legs, milord!"
"Oh for the love of..." Eliwood grumbled.
"I'll wager those legs had never been sliced clean off by a falling mast, and sweapt into the sea before your very eyes."
"Well neither have your's" Hector growled.
"THAT'S where you're wrong!" Fargus shoved the table away, revealing tattered grey shorts, and two, count 'em, TWO peg legs.
"Oh...my...God..." Eliwood gaped.
"Be off with ye! I'll be waiting!" Fargus laughed.
"How are we going to get 100,000 gold?" Eliwood asked.
"Well, there is the arena" Cecil pointed out. "I'm sure people like Lyn and Marcus could fight and raise enough gold."
"Or you could sell out your body" Kozo pointed out. "I'm sure you'd be a fresh catch. Not to mention you don't mind getting it either way."
Eliwood glared daggers at Kozo. "I'm sure you're more in the market" he said with a sneer.
"Hey, if I were to shell out, it wouldn't be to pirates who never heard of oral hygene."
"Ahoy there!" said a gruff voice. The four turned to face the owner of this voice. A man with a white bandana, a tattered, sleeveles blue shirt, and tattered white pants. "Hold your ground."
"What now?" Hector groaned. "We don't have the money yet."
"Well, duh" the pirate rolled his eyes. "I'm Dart, the captain's first mate. I'm here to tell you Fargus wishes to make a deal."
"Being...?" Cecil asked.
"Captain would prefer to toy with you than take your money."
"What!? The pervert" Kozo snarled.
"All you have to do is get to the docks and speak with him. Then he'll take you to Valor, free of charge" the pirate explained.
Cecil looked over at Kozo. "What were you thinking?"
"Never mind. Your opinion of me would change."
"Kozo, my opinion of you is a freaky, pychopathic shaman."
"I'd prefer misunderstood genius."
"Sure...So, how does his offer sound?"
"...What's the catch" Kozo asked the pirate who approached them.
"Come on out, fellas!" the pirate shouted.
Swarming from the docks, making a barricade, was a collection of sea dogs, shamans and magi.
"Oh..." Cecil started.
"censored" Kozo finished.
"I'll be sure to watch this. Should be fun." Dart got to the walls of the city, and took perch on the top.
"How are we going to get past all those pirates?" Cecil wondered aloud.
Kozo smirked. "It's my turn to be the tactician, so we'll just wait until Lyn returns, and then I'll form a plan of attack."
As if on cue, Lyn stepped in only a few seconds later. "Damnit, there's no other way to Valor than those pirates..." she muttered to herself.
"Perfect timing, Lyn" Hector grinned. "We're about to take these pirates on in order to gain free passage. As soon as our little urch--"
"WHAT did I tell you about calling me that!?" Kozo snapped.
"Not the face" Hector covered his face with his hands.
Kozo coughed, before holding his hands forward. His pendant started to glow, before dying down. Kozo opened his eyes. "Alright, here's the plan: The majority of us will face the pirates head on."
Cecil looked behind him, examining the weaponry as best he could. "Kozo, this sets the fact that you are, without a doubt, insane! Don't you know what they're weilding?"
"Of course. But you see, I didn't quite mean attacking them. I just meant staying in their line of sight, taunting them to approach. Meanwhile, two of our faster members will move outside of the city, sneaking their way to the dock."
"We can't sneak outside the city" Cecil huffed. "That's like cheating."
"It's part of the map, bubbo."
Cecil blinked, before pulling out one of his maps. "Damnit, he's right. Alright, shaman boy, who're we deploying?"
"We'll need some intimidiating people to keep the pirates at bay. So that'll be...Hector, Bartre, Dorcas, Sain, Raven, Kent and...I'm going to hate myself for this, but...Marcus. He is at least a paladin. Perhaps an upgraded class will knock some sense into these pirates."
Marcus grinned. "Now you're making sense."
"Even if he is a subpar paladin."
"Watch it..." Marcus frowned, and shook his fist.
"Right, now, for units we'll send the other way, I nominate Matthew and Guy."
"Hey, whoa, hold on" Matthew shook his hands. "My contract says nothing about going solo against ravenous brigands."
"You're not going solo" Kozo pointed out. "You got Guy with you."
"Still, I refuse to do this unless we have someone strong with us."
Kozo sighed. "Alright, but only because I can't bare the thought of either of you two getting a scratch on that perfect skin."
Guy and Matthew looked at each other, nervous. They gulped.
"Lyn, you go with them."
"I thought you said you'd give us someone strong!" Matthew pouted.
Lyn glared at Matthew, and drew her sword.
"I mean, she'll do fine!"
"Hey, what about me?" Eliwood asked.
"What about you, pansy boy?"
"I'm the hero, and I kinda need to be in the chapter, so what should I do?"
"Well...I dunno. Just stand around and attract fangirls/fanboys, I guess."
"Would it be alright if I was with the others intimidating the pirates?"
Kozo stared blankly at Eliwood, looking him up and down. "You call that intimidating?"
"And how about me?" Cecil asked. "As the other tactician, I deserve a bit of spotlight per chapter. I mean, you were featured more than me in the last battle."
"Alright, fine, you can go to the Old Sea Dog and get drunk off your ass."
"YES!" Cecil rushed off.
"Somehow, I knew that would work." Kozo turned his attention back to the others. "Alright, anyone who can use a lance, get them ready. Some more baddies will show up, and while they support neither side, they have a little thing against us."
"How do you KNOW all this stuff!?" Hector asked.
"It's like you're reading ahead" Eliwood pointed out.
"Someone has to know what's going on. Alright, everyone ready?"
"Let me just..." Marcus started, sorting through his things, looking for his sword and his lance.
"Go!"
As everyone got into position, Marcus had just got his things. "Hey! Hold it! Give some respect to the elderly!"
Like that's gonna happen Kozo thought, rolling his eyes.
As Marcus was about to catch up with the others, a young man with short, purple hair, and soft, purple eyes came out. Although his similarity to Kozo ended there. He had a monacle over his left eye, long, gray robes, and a purple cloak. He carried a few books in his arms.
"Excuse me, sir knight" the man asked in a sterotypical scholar-gentleman voice. "But are you at all connected to that group having a staring contest with the scalliwags?"
"Among their number is my charge" Marcus explained.
"Well, I couldn't help but over hear them talking about passage to Valor. You're actually planning on going there?"
"Our mission involves going there."
"And that's why you're playing tag with the pirates?"
"Tag!? I....wait...you know, it could be considered that..."
The man laughed. "My name is Canas. I am a scholar and pursuer of knowledge. I was originally trying to arrange passage to Valor to continue my pursuit. Oh, now that I tell it to another, it seems sort of selfish, doesn't it?"
"Of course not, good scholar. The pursuit of knowledge is a highly noble cause."
Canas grinned. "I say, good paladin, would it be alright if I were to join you and your companions to Valor? I'd be most greateful."
"Well, I naturally have no objections, but our tacticians might need to know what you can offer to the team" Marcus shrugged.
"Well, I do practice the anicent magics. Which most of come to consider dark magic, which is a rather biased term, if I may be blunt."
Oh great, ANOTHER shaman... Marcus thought to himself. Well, at least he seems to be more polite than that street urchin Kozo.
Marcus nodded. "Welcome aboard, good sir Canas. A word of advice: Stay on your toes. Many of our party are...interesting folk."
Canas beamed. "Excellent. I'll just go say farewell to my wife and pack my things." With that, Canas left.
Matthew hopped from tree branch to tree branch. "I always got A's in gym" he said with a grin.
Lyn snuck in the shadows provided by the walls, and Guy was shifting from tree to tree, always from the back to hide himself. What they thought was a deserted part of the area was actually inhabited by three pirates.
"Choose your partners" Lyn said with a sadistic grin.
Guy rubbed his hands together, and Matthew sighed. "Must we be so quick to resort to violence? Why can we not just talk over our differences peacefully? That being said, dibs on the fat one. Should be easy enough to hit and avoid."
With that, the three leapt out of hiding, swords all drawn. The pirates raised their axes, and rushed in to counter attack.
The pirates shifted their stance, but made no movement ahead. Hector and Bartre were quivering in anticipation, waiting for the first move to be made. Eliwood stood, rapier drawn, but couldn't help from yawning occasionally.
"Aren't they going to do anything?" Sain whined. "This is getting boring."
"They must be waiting for the order to attack, as are we..." Kent muttered.
Dorcas seemed as silent and sullen as the pirates. Marcus's horse snorted, and shook it's head, while the paladin continued to stare down his foes. Raven sat down, crossed legged, his sword resting on his legs, as he stared daggers at...Hector. Soon, in the confusion...it'll be one of the pirates, that's what'll be assumed. Ya....
Suddenly, there was movement. Not by the pirates, not by the good guys, but by a small force of horsemen. A troubadour, three cavaliers and a paladin. The paladin had short, yet wavey purple hair, with a short, purple beard, and purple armor. He carried a long, curved sword.
The paladin chuckled. "Hmm...this should prove an interesting distraction." He blinked, notcing Eliwood among the party. He sneered. "Eliwood of Pherae! You do not know yet the true fear that is the Black Fang! Allow me to teach it to you!"
"B...Black Fang?" Kozo breathed, freezing up.
"Damnit, he froze up again!" Hector informed.
"Let's see, how do Matthew snap him out of it? ...Okay, but who can we get to willingly kiss him?" Eliwood wondered out loud.
"Are you sure he needs a kiss?" Marcus asked,taking out anaxe. "I'll be sure to snap him back to reality."
"No Marcus. No killing the tactician."
"Oh..."
Rushing in suddenly was Canas, carrying a load of books. "I'm back! I'm here!" he informed. "Don't start without me-eeee!" The scholar tripped, as his books were sent flying.
One of the heavier books landed on Kozo's head, seeming to knock him back to his senses. "Ow! What the hell hit...Oh, would you look at that?" Kozo picked up the book, and looked at the cover. "The Karma Sutra. Always wanted to see this, but...what would this be doing here?"
Canas gulped, and turned Kozo to face him. "You can keep it if you promise not to tell anyone the identity of it's original owner, alright?"
"Sold! 'sides, everyone here saw and heard it."
Canas freaked.
Kozo stuffed the book into his robes, before returning attention to the battle field. "Alright, that's it. Ignore the pirates, the horsemen are going down"
Matthew kicked off the corpse of the fat pirate, flipping a few feet away, and landing perfectly. Guy pinned his foe to the ground with his foot, and plunged the sword through the neck. Lyn nimbly dodged the axe swung at her, and kicked it back, nailing the pirate in the face. Unfortuneately for him, it was a double edged axe.
"That was too easy" Matthew laughed. "I wonder how the others are fairing?"
"We can only hope well" Guy pointed out. "If only for a little while longer."
Lyn sheathed her sword, and looked around, before her eyes fell upon a tall, gruff man with gray hair. "That's him!" she beamed. "That must be Fargus!"
The three still kept to the side, and made as much distence between themselves and the pirates as possible, while still keeping Fargus in their line of sight.
However, by keeping him in their line of sight, they entered his. The pirate captain noticed their approach. "Moon calves off the bow. Mates, up and at 'em!"
The pirates raised their weapons, and charged towards the three.
Kozo looked up from strangling the purple armored paladin with a bow, hearing that Fargus finally went on the offensive. But not at their team, but at the three he tried to have sneak towards him. "Guy! Matthew!" he cried, afraid of what might happen to the two.
He glared at the team. "Alright, guys! I can handle this loser. You guys saveMatthew and Guy!"
"What about Lyndis?" Eliwood asked.
"Yeah, I suppose her too..."
As the team started to spread out and attack, Kozo removed the bow from the paladin's neck, leaving a sore, curved indent on his neck. "Alright, bub, you crawl back to Brendan Reed, and tell him to get his act together, before I seriously have to hurt him and his little minions."
"Wait, you weren't being serious just now?" the paladin asked, whimpering.
"No. If I were being serious, you wouldn't even be able to ask me that question. Now beat it."
The paladin crawled out from under Kozo, got to his horse, and rode off, his companions following suit. Kozo returned his attention to the field.
The three horsemen were taking care of the two mages and the shaman, whilst everyone else had taken a single pirate each. Holding one of the pirates in a Full Nelson, Hector strained to look over the scalliwag's head. "Run, you three!" he barked.
Matthew, Lyn and Guy sprung into action, all three of them making a mad dash towards Fargus. The pirate chief smirked. "Might as well offer some resistence" he muttered. He swung his axe foward at Matthew.
The young thief flipped backwards, avoiding it. "Damn, can't get too close..." he muttered.
Guy rushed in from another angle: Fargus's left, and not head on. Fargus wasn't that big a doop, and swung his axe at the myrmidon. The green haired nomad side hopped out of the way.
While all that went on, Lyn was able to sneak in from behind. She leapt onto Fargus's back. "Got'cha!"
Fargus grinned. "Ya got me" he muttered under his breath. "Alright, lads!" he bellowed to his fellow sea dogs. "Stop!"
The pirates stopped struggling, while Eliwood and Co let go. The other two nobles approached.
"Well, that wasn't TOO hard..." Hector muttered.
"We won. So you'll be giving us passage?" Eliwood asked.
Fargus nodded, as Lyn got off his back, and stood next to Eliwood. Fargus beamed widely. "And might I know the young lady who was able to tag me?"
"Her name is Lyndis" Eliwood pointed out.
Lyn sighed. "I'm none too keen on pirates, but as you are giving us passage...I thank you from the bottom of my heart."
Fargus gasped. "You have a woman's bottom, milady!"
Hector held his head in his hand, exasperated. Eliwood groaned, rolling his eyes.
"I'll wager those round peaches never been fixed 'tween two planks to plug a leak, and save a sinking ship" Fargus assumed.
"...Certainly not, and I'm bloodyglad about it" Lyn said, eye brow raised. "What's wrong with women's bottoms anyway?"
"Not big enough, ma'am. Although..." Fargus's vision trailed downwards. "There are other means of compensation."
Lyn glared, before slapping Fargus. "Pervert!" she huffed, and turned away.
"Well, I suppose we should get ready" Eliwood shrugged. "We leave tomorrow."
Eliwood, Hector and Fargus left, to get their things ready for the trip. Lyn turned back to face the sea, and gulped, some sweat on her brow.
"I'm not going" Lyn said, arms folded, shaking her head. She and Florina were busy packing for the trip, Florina putting her clothesitemsin a large suitcase. "I'm just not going. I mean, I'd love to go, but someone has to stay and watch over grandfather. And I feel it's my duty as his granddaughter to..."
"Lyndis, are you hiding something from me?" Florina asked.
"What do you mean?"
"Well, it's like you're....I don't know...scared about going."
Lyn blushed a bit, then laughed. "That's funny Florina. You of all people should know that I'm not one of those namby pambys that cringes at the sight of water."
Florina took a cup of water, and offered it to Lyn, who yelped and jumped onto the chair. She closed her eyes and screamed. "Yes, yes, alright, I'm TERRIFIED!" Lyn slumped down onto the chair, looking downcast. "You see, Florina...when I was a wee baby, long before I met you, I fell into the river, and was attacked by an enraged school of halibut. Oh, you just gotta help me!"
"Y...you could h...hide..." Florina offered, timidly.
Lyn muttered the word to herself, before beaming. "Brillient! Where?"
Florina looked around, before beaming. "In the box!"
Lyn nodded, and crawled in. "Okay. Now, let's practice. Let's say Eliwood were to come in, and says Hello, Florina. You haven't seen Lyndis, have you? And you say..."
"N..no my lord, I haven't s...seen her all day."
"Good." There was a knock on the door. "Here he comes!" Lyn closed the cover of the box.
Kozo entered, looking as cold as ever. "Hello Little Miss Nervous Wreck." He looked around. "Where the hell's Little Miss Temper Tantrum?"
"I...I w...wouldn't know. I h...haven't seen her all day..." Florina answered, meekly.
Kozo gave her an unamused glare. "Florina, you're her best friend. And more than likely much more than that."
"H...hey!"
"So she'd obviously come to you first to talk about today's events. Now you tell me, truthfully this time, where she is, or I will bring up bad memories of our LAST encounter..."
"She's hiding in the box!" Florina squeaked, scared.
Kozo walked over to the crate, and started kicking it's side. "Come on, Lady Hair Trigger. We'll miss the tide."
Lyn burst the opening of the box wide, and thrust a finger at Kozo. "I DO NOT HAVE A HAIR TRIGGER, YOU PHYCHOTIC...." Lyn stopped, and just glared. "Shut up. Just...shut up."
Kozo sneered, before noticing something around Lyn's finger. "Say, why's that on your finger?"
Lyn looked at her finger, and, seeing as it was one of Florina's short shirts, blushed, and shook it away. Kozo laughed a bit, and left.
Florina looked over at her blushing friend, a bit red herself. "Um, Lady Lyndis? Why was my shirt..."
"No reason! No reason!" Lyn answered quickly, before getting out. "I should probably go pack my stuff now so I'll see you on the ship Bye!" the noble nomad said in one sentence, as she raced out of the room.
"But...all of her stuff is in here"
Fargus, Hector, Eliwood, Kozo and Lyn sat around a table in the ship's cabin. Cecil was in a corner, groaning, clenching his head, and rocking back and forth. "Harr-harr!" Fargus laughed in a classical pirate manner, clenching a freash cup of ale.
"Arr-har-har-har!" Hector laughed, sounding almost like a real pirate.
"Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha!" Eliwood laughed somewhat menicingly.
"Har-de-har-har" Kozo said non-chalantly, rolling his eyes.
All four of them looked at Lyn, who, arms folded over her chest, was looking away from them.
"Not joining us in the har-hars, Lyndis?" Eliwood asked.
"No" Lyn said coldly.
"Is something wrong?"
"Yes, something is wrong!" Lyn shouted, bolting from her seat. "What's wrong is that we're all dead! We're doomed to a watery grave with a captain who's legless!"
"Rubbish!" Fargus snapped, interupting the nomad noble. "I haven't touched a drop!"
Lyn looked at Fargus, holding her hands up in a hold on manner. "No, no. I mean, you haven't got any legs."
"Oh." Fargus looked down, and back up at Lyn. "Yes, you're right there. Carry on, sorry."
"Be at ease, Lyndis" Hector said cooly. "Fargus here's supposed to be one of the greatest pirates around. He's never lost his ship once."
"This being the same Fargus who kept comparing parts of your bodies to that of women, and the same Fargus who turned up 100,000 gold for a simple game of tag to earn us passage?"
"...Well, when you put it that way..."
"not so loud..." Cecil moaned to himself in the corner.
"It's that time again" Chibi-Zell said, beaming.
"The Wheel of Morality?" Bartre asked.
"No, that's when Yoshimo's grinning. Today, we're featuring the Wheel of Randomosity!"
"Oh, this should be fun" Yoshimo said, rolling his eyes, as Chibi-Zell gave it a spin. The wheel whirled away.
"Wheel of Randomosity, whirl whirl whirl. Give usa pairing and don't make us hurl!" Yoshimo and Chibi-Zell sang together, Yoshimo without any emotion at all, and Chibi-Zell with and excited tone.
It landed on Kozo. Yoshimo took hold of the next wheel, and spun it, landing on...
"Yay!" Kozo cheered. "Finally! I get to kiss Mattie!"
Matthew gulped. "Ah no..." He looked around frantically, in hopes to find a way out. "There's gotta be..." he spotted Guy. His eyes glimmered.
"W-What!? Why are you looking at me like that, Matthew? ...No way in hell!" Guy protested quickly.
"Aww, comeon. It's a favor. Besides, you can't refuse if I tell you that..." Matthew grinned.
"But... but..." Guy stuttered, then sighed. "Okay, fine, but I won't like it..."
"Yay! I get to kiss Guy!" Kozo cheered.
Guy groaned, stepping towards the stage. "Not again..." he griped, before Kozo grabbed him by both cheeks, and pulled him in. Here it comes... Guy thought, eyes clenched shut, before...
Kozo gave Guy a short, quick peck on the lips. Guy kept his eyes shut, before opening one of them. "Is...is that it?"
"Oh, you wanted more?" Kozo teased.
"NO! ...I mean, no, but...knowing you..."
"Well, it's kinda bad for your conscience to kiss another guy when your boyfriend's watching..." Kozo pointed out, while pointing over his shoulder, to Acentine, who was glaring, arms crossed.
"Ooooh..." Guy nodded, before walking over to Acentine. "Thank you SO much for being here right now. How can I ever repay..." he stopped short, seeing Acentine breaking into a wide grin. "NO! Wait! Forget what I said!"
The nomad looked over at Kozo, who also had the same girn. Then back to Acentine. Then to Matthew, who mirrored the other's grins. Guy took off, screaming.
Kozo looked over at Matthew. "Is there something I should know?"
"No. I just love scaring him silly."
"I'm sure you do..."
"Well, that's all for today. I'm Yoshimo..."
"I'm Chibi-Zell..."
"And I'll get you next time, cutie..." Kozo grinned in Matthew's direction.
"meep."