" I woke up the next night, about 8:00 pm no later in a soft mattress, I was not used to a mattress this soft since we could not afford one when I live with Mother. I felt a hand caressing my hand, a pale cold hand that made a shiver crawl down my spine when I saw it there. It belonged to no other than…Yuan! His skin was paler than I remember, the last I saw him his face was pumped full of life."

" 'Are you awake, Kratos?' he asked smoothly, almost lifelessly. I let my large brown eyes wander over to his figure. ' I guess that means yes for you, eh Kratos,' he laughed weakly, ' you must still be weak from the transformation.' I tried to nod yes but my whole body felt stiff, I tried to raise my arm but it was as solid as stone. My lips tried to mouth out the words I wanted so desperately to say to him but I couldn't do it. After an hour or so I finally was able to get up but whenever I was finally on my feet I could not say a word. I tried and tried, I was screaming inside of my head. Yuan chuckled a little, breaking out of that trance that plagued him a minute ago. ' Kratos, don't worry you're not mute,' Yuan explained carefully, flipping the azure silk over his shoulder, ' you won't be able to talk for while but it's natural, we all have to endure it.' Natural! There's nothing "natural" about this at all He began to chuckle a little again at my fidgeting, but now he was coughing up a vast amount of blood onto his hands."

" Truth be told I was worried about him, about his health, about what was to become of him. He could tell that I was worried by my facial expressions and he tried to say things like; ' Don't worry I'm perfectly fine.' or ' This happens on a normal basis; nothing to concern yourself about.' I didn't hear a word that he said but merely studied him, his nervous gestures followed by a few fake laughs that even an infant wouldn't believe. The truth was that I did absolutely hate him with every fiber of my living being but with every fiber of my being I also loved him."

" I was attracted to his angelic appearance, the human but at all the same time inhuman sound of his voice ringing in my ears, and his snobbish attitude towards me. The precise movements that his lips formed to when he talked, his precise articulation in his words. I loved him as much as I hated him and I was now aware of that. A crimson red stream of blood trickled down his heavenly white skin and I knew then that I was certainly not one to resist temptation."

Lloyd's brow creased, he was shivering not knowing what to say or what to do, finally as Kratos still continued to eye him, he chocked, " Fath...Kratos…yo…u…are you…are you…"

" Am I homosexual?" Kratos finished for him. Lloyd nodded not getting the words to say in that moment even if the answer was merely "yes".

" No," Kratos said bluntly, " I am not."

" Than…why?" Lloyd asked completely stunned.

" He was my first love," Kratos said in that mechanical voice again, " I had known no one else that I was really attracted to until I met him, he was the first one I felt romantic feelings towards, he had taught me to love again after my Mother had perished."

" Kratos…please continue." Lloyd beckoned to him.

" Yes as I was saying earlier," Kratos continued in emotionless tone, " as the blood trickled from his red lips I had felt an unquestionable reasoning in my head, I needed him and at that moment I desired him more than ever. You could say that my body moved entirely on instinct. He was about to wipe the blood onto his dry hand, I wanted shout for him not to but at that time I couldn't speak. I couldn't speak so I used physical notions to show how I felt. I roughly snatched his wrist from his angelic complexion and I softly licked the blood from his mouth, lapping up all the fresh blood so that it would no longer stain his beautiful face."

" Afterwards, I stared directly into his eyes and mouthed I love you. His face was completely awe stricken, his eyes were shot open in surprise studying my face but he couldn't read me, no one could and at that moment I didn't even understand myself. His mouth was half opened and his lips were stuttering steadily. He looked so innocent in that moment even though I was sure he was defiantly not. He had appeared to me like he had in my vision. His eye brows were knitted together and he was just so…delicious right then."

" I was so blindly in love with him in that moment I don't think that anything would have kept me from him. It didn't matter know that we were members of the same sex and that he probably didn't harbor the same feelings for me the feelings I felt so passionately for him. My head that was already curved to the side was now advancing forward towards his curved red lips that I loved so dearly. My lips met his and I felt a pleasure that I had never felt in my life when I lived with my mother. My tongue arched in between his sealed lips and he fought to resist me but luckily even though I was still dazed from my transformation I had a stronger build than he had. My first kiss, was it love or lust? I still to this day do not know.

" My hand restrained his fidgeting arm and I thrust him down to the slick beige tile where I released his lips, giving him a chance to breath. My pink lips were now a bright red as I just was dying to see Yuan's reaction. I could feel his heart pumping against my chest, his frantic breathing aroused me. Yuan face was flustered and he was just staring at me as if I was a criminal, he was telling me without saying anything, " Kratos, you fiend." It just provoked me to see him like that, I wanted to hopelessly make-out with him, to force myself onto him before he could say anything to ruin it. My lips ventured downwards towards his again. I wanted to feel that satisfaction, that lust that I felt towards him again. I was defiantly new at this, seeing as before I became an angel I was a twenty-eight year old mortal who had never kissed a female acquaintance, or a male in that fact."

" My lips were almost to his, perhaps one inch from the tenderness of his wet lips. Right before I could have my way with him though a loud chocked cry echoed from Yuan's throat, ' Stop, Kratos!' I hesitated at first but than drew back, still on top of his firm muscular build. I tried to tell him how much I wanted him but I was still completely and thoroughly mute. ' I can't do this Kratos,' Yuan shouted, his throat clearing from the choke I heard a few seconds ago, ' I'm engaged to a woman that I am very much in love with.' These words pelted me like stone but what shattered my heart completely was that lifted up his frail hand to prove that he was indeed engaged to a woman, a ring that hand the two letters YM engraved upon it."

" My heart was completely shattered by this point, hate and resentment clouded my heart. I was inflamed with a rage that was equal to the undying passion I felt towards him. Oh how beautiful he still was even when anger consumed my soul I could not hate him and I doubt that I ever could. After all it wasn't his fault he didn't return my passionate feelings that consumed me like a raged fire. I slowly slid my weight off of his light fragile body and let him leave. He stormed out of the room angrily, his face pumping with emotion, his cape swirling behind him gracefully. I just stayed where I was, on the floor next to my exquisite draped bed set, leaning on the wooden paneled side and lolling my head back steadily as I resented what I had just done."

A/N: 00