Ann looked up at Baxter with big, almost glittering eyes. The slightly taller man grabbed her by the arm.
"Lucy" He said "I... I love you"
"Thanks!" Carl yelled "That was great Ann! You too Bruce, but you have to put more feeling into it"
"Feeling!" Baxter said "I'm supposed to be a tough sailor!"
"Yes, and you're playing that part of the character well" Carl said "But the whole point of the story is that he goes soft when he meets Lucy"
"Yes, but how soft?"
Jimmy usually watched with great interest when the actors acted out their roles on the ship's deck, while he tried to remember what scenes they had already shot so he could put the story together in his head. But not today. He tried to get himself interested, but his eyes kept drifting back to Denham, who was standing with his back to him most of the time. He somehow seemed different, or maybe Jimmy just saw him in a new light. The memory of the filmmaker and his assistant in the cabin was incredibly distracting, and just kept creeping back into his thoughts. He looked down at Preston who was standing on the other side of the camera, holding some papers. Something had happened to him too. It just didn't make sense to Jimmy. If it was so dangerous doing what they did, then why were they doing it? He could understand why people would steal, even commit murder, but why have sex with a man when you could do that with a woman?
He needed answers, but for the first time he couldn't go to Hayes for them. The first mate simply refused to talk about it, and, according to the dark-skinned man, so would the rest of the crew. But Lumpy, Choy, Denham and Preston were doing it, so they had to talk to each other about it, and maybe they would talk to Jimmy too?
He had first considered going to Lumpy, but if the cook didn't like talking about it either he could get very angry and yell and shout, and then Mr. Hayes would find out.
Then there was Choy. He was always so friendly and smiling, and Jimmy had never heard him yell. He didn't, however, always know when to shut up and could easily let something slip by accident when talking to Lumpy.
Mr. Denham was out of the question, and that left his assistant. Preston was a nice, quiet man. Jimmy didn't know much about him but he was always so polite to everyone. If he wouldn't talk about it he would probably just tell Jimmy so, and that would be it. No shouting or telling anyone. At least that was what Jimmy hoped because he felt he had no other choices.
So now he was just waiting impatiently for Carl to call it a day so Jimmy could talk to Preston alone, which had proven harder then it sounded. The young man had been following Denham around all day like some kind of dog, taking notes and helping him prepare the scene they had decided to shoot.
Preston, however, stayed by Denham's side long after the movie crew had left, so Jimmy didn't get a chance to be alone with him before it got dark. When Denman started talking to Engelhorn and Mr. Hayes about the map Preston decided he might as well find something else to do, and a few minutes later Jimmy was standing in front of the door leading into Preston's small cabin, trying to build up the courage to talk to him.
"Mr. Preston?" Jimmy asked as he knocked on the door, not sure of the man's last name.
"Come in"
Preston looked up from a book he was reading and smiled politely when he recognized the young sailor. "What can I do for you?" he asked.
"I found this and wondered if it was yours" Jimmy said, holding up a small scratch pad that he had lifted off of Preston a few hours before.
"My scratch pad!" Preston smiled "Thank you so much! I have been looking for it! Where did you find it?"
"In the galley" Jimmy lied.
"Thank you" Preston repeated. He quickly flipped through it to check if it really was his before putting it in a drawer. He then noticed that Jimmy was still standing in the doorway looking at him. "You wanted something?" he asked.
"Em..." Jimmy said while scratching his neck "I wanted to know if I could ask you something"
"What?" Preston asked, putting a bookmark in between the pages of his book and closing it. Jimmy took this as an invitation so he stepped into the cabin and carefully closed the door behind him.
"I wanted to know about you and Mr. Denham" He whispered.
For a split second Preston looked nervous before saying, "Well, what would you like to know? There's a lot to be told"
Jimmy didn't like that Preston was talking so loud, so he moved in closer, hoping it would quiet him down. "You and Mr. Denham and..." He paused. Preston was one of the nicest non-sailors Jimmy had met, but suddenly he just wasn't sure. He didn't know anything about him. What if he told someone that Jimmy had asked?
The silence seemed to make Presto nervous, and suddenly he looked like someone had kicked him. "Oh God" He said, moving a little backwards and obviously mistaking Jimmy's silence "You know"
"About what?" Jimmy asked.
"You heard us, didn't you?" Preston said, now keeping his voice down. Jimmy understood what he was talking about and nodded. Preston closed his eyes as if in pain. "I have told Carl so many times that he makes too much noise" He said. He then looked up at Jimmy. "Promise you won't tell anyone"
Jimmy nodded "I promise" He said "I just want to know why you do it" Suddenly Preston's face changed from desperation to confusion.
"Why we do it?" Again Jimmy nodded. "Well... It...It feels good" Preston said, obviously feeling awkward talking about it.
"Is that all?" Jimmy asked a little disappointed.
"No, not all, but-"
"Why then? Why not just do it with a woman?"
Preston moved further away and folded his hands in his lap. "Well..." He said "I've tried that, and it just didn't do anything for me"
Jimmy came closer. "But I saw you do the same thing to Carl as other men do to women" In the moment he said it Jimmy realised what had just come out of his mouth, and this time it was his turn to step away from Preston.
"You saw us?"
"Sorry!" Jimmy said "I didn't mean to spy! I just heard noises and thought that maybe-"
Preston had moved further back. He didn't seem angry, but he kept looking away from Jimmy.
"Listen..." Jimmy said, wanting to make it better "I don't think it's disgusting. I just want to know why you do it"
Preston looked at him. "Why?"
"Because Mr. Hayes say it's dangerous"
"It is" Preston said looking almost sad "It's the most dangerous thing I have ever done"
"Then why?"
"Because I love him" Preston said, sounding like a huge weight was lifted off his chest "And that's what you do when you are in love"
"A man can love another man?"
"Yes" Preston said "Actually some men can only lover other men, and I'm one of them"
"Mr. Denham too?"
"Yes. You should never do what we do if you can get the same thing with a woman" Preston said.
"But you treated Mr. Denham like a woman" Jimmy said, now very close to the tall man.
"In a way, but it's not the same" Preston said "Sometimes he is on top. He just prefers to be the bottom"
Jimmy was trying to make it all make sense, when the door suddenly swung open and Denham walked in.
"Excuse me?" He said, having obviously heard their conversation. Or at least part of it.
Preston looked shocked, but that was nothing compared to Jimmy. The boy was almost shaking and already trying to figure out how to get past the chubby man who was taking up most of the space in the doorway.
"He just wanted to know about us" Preston said. When he heard that, Jimmy started preparing himself to get yelled at or maybe even slapped. But nothing happened. He looked up at Carl, and the filmmaker was...smiling.
"Is that so?" He said, walking past the boy and sitting on the bed which was the only other furniture in the room meant to be sit on. "What would you like to know?"
Jimmy didn't know what to say. This was very unexpected, and he had defiantly not prepared himself for it.
"Why..." Jimmy gulped "Why do you like being the bottom?"
Denham had an almost amused look on his face when he answered "Because it feels good, and Preston is very good at it"
"But doesn't it hurt?"
"Not if you're doing it right" Denham said "You sound like you've tried it" Jimmy blushed, which made Denham smile even more "What did you try it with?"
"Carl..." Preston said already feeling sorry for the boy.
"He came in here to ask you out about our sex-life, so it's only fair if we get something in return" Denham said calmly and still smiling.
"Why do you wanna' know" Jimmy asked.
"Why do you wanna' know why I like being the bottom?" Denham asked, his eyes still smiling with amusement.
Jimmy bit his lip and looked over a Preston who's eyes said "Just go now", but Denham was obviously willing to tell Jimmy more, so he decided to stay.
"A carrot" He finally said.
"That brings back memories" Denham smiled "What about you Preston? What did you use?" Preston didn't seem too happy to get that question.
"Nothing" He said "I didn't try it before I was with another man" Denham raised an eyebrow, and turned back to Jimmy.
"Bet you didn't use lubrication, am I right?"
"Lubrication?"
"Yes, you have to use lubrication or it will hurt like hell" Denham smiled "Believe me I know"
Jimmy blinked at him. He had never imagined that it was so...complicated.
"How can it feel good?" He asked, getting a little closer to Denham.
"Well, like I said: lubrication. And if you were to try it, a LOT of it" the filmmaker said "And you have to relax"
"Carl, if you're trying to talk him into-" Preston said, but was interrupted by Denham.
"No, don't worry" Denham smiled "You've already told him I prefer being the bottom, haven't you?" He looked at Jimmy "Besides I'm not into little boys"
"I'm not a little boy!" Jimmy said, suddenly feeling offended. Denham raised an eyebrow.
"Is that so?"
"Carl!"
"Calm down, Preston. You have an incredibly dirty mind"
Jimmy looked at both of them. Something was going on, and he was slowly starting to realise what.
"Are you trying to hint something, Mr. Denham" He asked. Carl turned his attention back to the young sailor.
"What about yourself?" He asked "Are you trying to hint something?"
Jimmy squinted his eyes, not understanding what Denham was trying to say.
"Why is this so interesting?" the filmmaker asked "I hear Mr. Hayes told you it is dangerous, so why are you here?"
Jimmy looked down. He didn't know what to say.
"Is it because you want to try it?"
Suddenly Jimmy understood. He looked over at Preston who had look on his face Jimmy couldn't interpret and then back a Denham. He was still sitting on the bed, smiling surprisingly innocent at him. Jimmy started to sweat and without saying a word he ran out of the cabin, and kept running till he was standing on the deck.
He looked out over the dark sea, still shaking. Denham had offered to show him. SHOW him. Teach him everything he could possible want to know. And Jimmy had actually been tempted. Very tempted. But then he had remembered what Hayes had said.
"Don't ever try it. It'd dangerous"
And who could it be more dangerous with then Denham?
"Did they tell you what you wanted to know?" It was Hayes who came walking out of the shadows. Jimmy looked terrified at him "Yes, I saw you Jimmy, but I didn't come after you because this was one of those cases where you had to find out yourself" Jimmy didn't dare to look him in the eyes and was beginning to shake again. Hayes paused "Did they hurt you?"
"No, Mr. Hayes" Jimmy said "We just talked"
Hayes breathed a sigh of relief "Good" He said "I hope your curiosity have been satisfied" Then he walked off, leaving Jimmy to think things through.
Jimmy looked up at the moon which was peaking through the clouds, bathing the boy in it's cold light. He still had one question left.
Nobody had told him why it was so incredibly dangerous...