Um, HI! =) (cheesy grins) (dopey grins) Um, I realize I haven't said this in a long long time, but, I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh. I also don't own any songs I use. I don't own the poem in this chapter. I also don't own Resident Evil. And I DO realize that I said the only game Malik had was Silent Hill, but, uh, he has the RE:Make too. =)
Yu-Gi-Oh is property of Kazuki Takahashi, Resident Evil belongs to Capcom. The poem in this chapter belongs to Chetra-Card, whom I went back and edited this entire chapter for just for her. =) SO GO CHETRA!!!
ALSO! WARNING! There is a teensy bit of um, what you COULD call lemon if you want to, but not really. This is the only chapter that's like this... it was written for a friend. The rest of the chapters are clean. I promise. (does scouts honor sign)
Sephiroth or Anime-Crazy2: You're exactly right. I couldn't find any way to add in much humor... or any at all, at fact. . Hopefully this will be the last overly sappy chapter.
Random Person number 3: I just got back from vacation. That's why I could update.
Chetra-card: Thanks! I will definately try to add your poem into one of my stories, 'kay? I'll try! Promise! AND I WILL FREE YOU! And direct you to the nearest spellcheck. Lol.
bakuralover-2008: =) I'm really glad that everyone is enjoying this fic. It makes me feel accomplished. ;) Of course, I'd feel better if everyone reviewed!
Akio the Dragon Master- shrugs I dunno. Your ears broken? Lol, after reading this chap, I can't WAIT to see how weird you think I am. - Remember, tho, it was written especially for Shippo.
Chetra-card- TONS of insinuations in that... well, not insinuations, but do know how many times you referred to Marik's "rod"? (No not that one... YES that one... Lol.) I'll try to add it. It would make a good ending to the fic, which I've already written out. (I haven't written the next chapter tho... lol.) Hnm, yes, thanks for your support. -
Thursday Adams- HI!!!! Thanks for going to read this! Tell your gaylord computer to [not a very nice suggestion]. # of imaginary plushies you've given me: a myriad. o.o; Too many to count. But EVERYBODY needs plushies, even if they're not real.
It's Kat meow- Lol, I love putting down exactly what the annonymous reviewers sign. - Hi Kat!!! Yes, who DOESN'T love Yugi? Besides Pega--- No, no, no, better not to even think of that. sweat drops Anyway... About Hiei... KURAMA'S BETTER! starts World War III with those words only
Also thanks to my reviewers of "Kept":
Silvershadowfire
and "Fly's Eyes"
GlassRose2000
Um so thanks y'all for the happy birthday. - I haven't had my party yet, but I already got an Inuyasha DVD. I was watching it earlier today with my little sister in Japanese w/ English subtitles, because I'm learning Japanese. I couldn't hear it very well though, because of a) the dog b) my mom c) I couldn't raise the volume 'cuz my dad would kill me d) my sister's questions. "Does that guy and her become friends?" "Is he evil?" "Why is that guy killing them?" --;; Watch and find out, grasshopper! WATCH AND FIND OUT!
So, thanks to every single person who has reviewed, I mean EVERY ONE of you, and even if you haven't reviewed, you should, because I want to thank you, too! - And thanks to all who wished me a happy birthday!!!
I would also like to point out my Evanescence-inspired song called "Kept". Please read and review it. -;;;;;;
MY NEWEST BELIEF IS THAT EVANESCENCE MUSIC SHOULD BE USED IN RESIDENT EVIL GAMES. LISTEN TO ME, CAPCOM!! LISTEN!!!! Dang it.... Listen!!
This chapter is devoted to Lacee, who desperately believes that lemon themes should inherit the whole world.
Warning: More Malik-OCCness, slight slight lemony content, but not really... I'm just saying that. o.o;;
On with the fic.
Prologue
-
It was a bit later in the day. Malik was sprawled happily over his quilted bed, watching Yugi play REmake on his platinum-colored Gamecube. His pencil flowed smoothly over the fancy piece of stationary, Arabic symbols flowing like water from its lead tip. Outside, the sprinkler was on, and Malik cherished the SWICK sound of its pressurized, rhythmic blast against the window. Yugi, however, jumped everytime he heard it. He looked around the room, startled, his violet eyes wide, giving Malik the impression that he was scared.
Malik had found out Yugi's secret. The possesor of the Millennium Puzzle, and therefore one of the best puzzlers in the world, could not aim a gun worth crap. Even on auto-aim! He was, however, very good at the finishing the puzzles that the sick, twisted company of Umbrella had set before them. Yugi and Malik had worked as a team earlier, switching off places wherever it was easiest for the other person and munching on cheese puffs, until Odion had entered, reminding Malik that the mailman was coming today, and wouldn't be coming back for another week. Although Yugi was intensely curious as to why the mailman only visited their house once a week, Malik wasn't really keen on explaining to him that his yami and Bakura had threatened the man with what the said was an atomic bomb. (It had really been a piece of incredibly moldy cheese.) However, Yugi persisted, and Malik had told him, and Yugi had taken it... extremely well. Actually, he didn't seem to be bothered at all. Malik thought this was great. That just meant that Yugi wouldn't be TOO disturbed by all the terrible and horrible things Malik engaged in which involved nerfarious activities and some disturbing images. And, if your mind is set on JUST the right track, you can make that sentence perverted.
--;; Yes, sadly, love had pierced our main character's flesh like a really painful bee sting. Ouch. That's why, all the way in Niger, Yami Marik (who was rapidly progressing towards France along with his co-stars Matt Lower and Fredrick Chiluba) had labeled his partner's thoughts descriptively as "stupid" and "overly sentimental". He had then stopped to ask the former president of the African Country what "sentimental" meant.
SO!! Time for the fluff! Chop chop! HURRY UP WITH THAT LETTER, MORON!!!
Malik hurriedly finished his letter, suddenly feeling compelled to complte it. He shivered, thinking that somehow he had just been threatened by some otherwordly force. He quickly shoved the letter in the envelope, put on the stamp, licked the envelope shut (imagining some nasty/wonderful, lustful make-out scenes with Yugi, depending on your point of view) and slammed it down on his nightstand with such force that the birds in the trees outside flew away startled.
"Actually, we just thought that he stunk," one bird reported.
"Yeah!!" came the chorus from all 4 of his children, who looked almost exactly like him and all had the same high-pitched, gay-sounding male voice.
Malik laid his head down on a pillow. Writing really took a lot out of him. His hand hurt. [A/N: ;; Poor baaaaaby! Awww.] With a groan, he recalled what the letter said.
Dear Ishizu,
I like pie. Do you like pie? Well, I like pie. I think that your boyfriend Shadi should get hit in the face with a truck. A big one. One you store cargo in.
Love always,
Kisama no ototo,
Malik-chan the Great
P.S. To put this bluntly, I like little Yugi. Would you hate me if I told you that? Too bad, 'cause I just did. Sucks to be you!
P.P.S. Pie is always better with ice cream. Remember that now.
Malik's hand really really really ached from all of that EXTREME writing (Inside Joke). With a small sigh of weariness, Malik rolled over and tried to nap. A loud sigh from Yugi reminded him that... Yugi was there! Lifting his head up weakly, Malik saw Yugi, staring unblinkingly at the screen and probably doing all kinds of horrible things to his eyes, and was rejuvenated inside.
"Malik," Yugi suddenly said softly, without tearing his entranced amethyst eyes from the screen, "I think it's your turn." Malik shook his head.
"No way, Little Yugi, you can handle it. Trust me."
"Alright." Yugi aimed at a bloodied, disturbing monster called a Crimson Head. Yugi aimed for its head and fired. The shot blew the CH's legs off. -- ;;
"--;;" Malik sat up. "Here Yugi, let me help you with that." Malik stood up and walked over to Yugi. Yugi followed him with his eyes, ignoring the fact that there was a dead body lying in from of Chris Redfield on the game with its legs, (and probably wang,) completely amputated. The CH let out a small moan of agony. Yugi thought that Malik was going to sit next to him, but then Malik hopped up on the bed and sat behind him. Yugi blushed as bad images ran through his head. We'll spare you those.
Shaky knees, beating heart fast, what can this is.
Butterflies, Dizziness deep in side, Can this be love?
All is true it adds up to all I can say is...
I Love You.
'O.O I never realized I was so poetic...' Malik shook his head.
"??" Yugi asked/expressed/conveyed using facial expression. [A/N: :P)
Yugi, if you must know, was wearing his school uniform. They had had half a day of school that day, which Malik had of course skipped. Anyway, that's why he was wearing the uniform.
Malik leaned over Yugi's tiny form, and placed his arms on top of his. Placing his hands over Yugi's, he began to operate the red controller.
"See Yugi," Malik started, "you just use the joystick to aim like this..." Yugi blushed bashfully but nodded, dumb for words.
"And you... have to... do this..." Malik operated Chris Redfield across the hallway in hopes of finding a zombie or something so that he could blow its head off, insane pyschobitch that he was. Yugi, however, was one for conserving his bullets. He would have to remedy that somehow. Being trigger- happy was very therapeutic. It certainly made him feel better. He leaned forward some more, breathing into Yugi's ear.
"Hey, Yugi," Malik said breathily, "did you ever, hear back from the person you liked?" Malik realized he was panting; being so near to Yugi was getting him excited. I mean, THINK of all the perverted POSSIBILITIES!! [A.N. Lacee, now you know why this is dedicated to you. So let your imagination GO!] Meanwhile, Yugi licked his dry lips and looked embarrassedly at his lap.
"No," he said sadly. "But I think he... hates me. Or wants to get rid of me. I think he's trying to scare me off."
Malik finally found a zombie. Yugi didn't look up, however, so Malik forcefully grabbed his chin and jerked it up. Yugi's eyes widened as he saw the zombie. "Oh. Ehehe... Right. I'm supposed to shoot it's head off in a fetis display of pixellated guts and gore."
Malik sweat dropped, then once again gently guided Yugi's hands. Once Yugi had shot the zombie with Richard's assault shotgun about five times in the torso, Malik feigned falling over and nearly fell on Yugi's lap, creating a very cute scene. Yugi was beet red as Malik sat back up and placed his head in the crook of Yugi's shoulder.
"Now why would you think that?" he asked so softly, that if he weren't right next to Yugi's ear, he might not of heard.
"Uhh..." Yugi was frantically trying to mimick what Malik had just showed him. "Well, you see, he..."
Malik placed both his hands on Yugi's shoulders. "I don't think he thinks that about you, Yugi."
Yugi went to his inventory for a moment. "You don't?!" he blurted.
"Nope," Malik replied simply, caressing Yugi's shoulders. A strange thought struck a chord in his mind.
Malik.
Was.
Fondling.
Yugi.
Malik was fondling Yugi!! Leik omg wat was rong w/ him!?! w0a-
And somehow, Malik didn't seem to mind either, being the normal, horny teenage boy that he was. --;; So he just stayed like that, contentedly watching Yugi shoot zombies' heads off in an eerie courtyard, gore flying all over the screen.
--;;; How romantic.
-
Epilogue
-
Odion smiled broadly at his younger brother. 'Awww, they're so cute when they're in love!' Malik, sensing his gaze, turned to him nonchalantly – and then glared.
'Rar. I am glaring at you,' Malik's eyes said.
"Wow! My eyes talk!" Malik exclaimed idiotically. --; Blubbering buffoon bake! /random, nonsensical joke that isn't very funny
"What?" Yugi asked, pressing the A button and not paying very much attention.
"Nothing Yugi. No, no, you it like this. Thaaaat's right. Hey do you want me to beat Yawn for you?" Malik offered gernerously with a grin. Yugi shook his head.
"I want to do it on my own," Yugi told him. Malik grinned/jeered, whichever it was. It looked like jeer – it was pretty eerie. o OU Then again, this IS Malik ISHTAR we're talking about folks.
"Okay, but if you need any help..." Malik snuggled closer against the back of Little Yugi. The midgetized saiyan continued pretending not to notice. Odion's eyebrows shot up amusedly.
'Well.'
This was certain a change in tune, now wasn't it? It was like going from Mozart to IBM Giants on the same CD, or from changing the channel from Nickolodean to CNN. Odion turned 90°, only to see a CONVENIENTLY placed wall phone RIGHT in front of him.
Odion sweat dropped. "Well then." He pressed the MESSAGE button. "Gotta continue with the fanfic."
"You have 2, new, messages," a woman's painfully slow voice said nonchalantly. "First, message."
-beeeeep-
"Hello, Mrs. Ishizu Ishtar! We would like to confirm your resubscription to Playgirl Magazine--"
"O.O!!!" Odion practically jammed the delete button with his large pointer finger. -.-; He has large hands.
-beeeeep-
"Hi Malik, this is Bakura. I was just wondering if you happened to have an already plucked, live chicken splattered with lubricant? Ryou needs it for a science project. Um... pretty please? I tried calling you the other day to see if you wanted to come over – secretly, I was pretending to ignore Ryou to make myself feel bigger – but you weren't there. You were probably at some gayassed picnic with gayassed little Yugi and his gayassed friends – well, no, actually, I think that Gardner girl's bi. She's so desperate she'll take anyone she can get. Anyway, do you have a chicken? If not... do you at least have some lube? o.O Bye now."
-beeeeep-
Odion sweat dropped. "Ooooooooooooookay." He pressed the delete button, and then went on the computer, deciding to e-mail Ryou instead of calling back and risking having to talk to Bakura.
-
Love it? Hate it? Don't get it? Then review! ;; This is about how perverted it's gonna get... to the huge disappointment of one girl called Shippo. This is the ONLY perverse chapter, so if you didn't like it, DON'T WORRY!
THE POEM IN THIS STORY IS UNDER THE SOLE POSSESSION OF CHETRA-CARD, WHO GAVE ME EXPRESS PERMISSION TO USE IT MY FAN FICTION. IF YOU WANT TO USE IT, YOU'D HAVE TO TALK TO HER. And... Way to go Chetra. I hope you're happy!
REVIEW!!!! ....It's my birthday. Please review!