Chapter 14

Starfire put the kettle on the burner, and went to the couch to take a spot by Robin. Beast Boy had offered to set the kettle, but Starfire wanted to hear what he had to say. The Main room was quiet, and the tension was thick. It was silent enough to hear a pin drop as everyone waited for Beast Boy to explain. He inhaled deeply, and began with when he first came snooping in her room.

By the time he had concluded, the tea was made, and Starfire was sympathetically handing Beast Boy and Raven a cup. Silence ensued, making Beast Boy terribly uncomfortable. He HATED silences; especially awkward ones. So, he requested in a quiet, beseeching voice, "Would somebody please say SOMETHING?"

Starfire looked unwilling to speak, Robin and Cyborg looked to be in great pain with their tightening lips, and Raven looked a little…nothing. The last time they had seen that face on her, was when they all first met. The practiced face of bleak emotionless. She didn't say or do anything that might give away her feelings or expressions. Through her empty expression, she chose to remain silent.

Starfire was the first to oblige Beast Boy's request. "Something?"

That was it for Cyborg and Robin. They burst out laughing, the obnoxious peals echoing throughout the Tower. It appalled both Starfire and Beast Boy. Wiping a tear from his eye, Cyborg said between laughter, "Are you…haha…tryin' to tell ME…hahaha…that you KISSED that Raven?!"

Beast Boy blushed. He hadn't bothered to tell the others that he had already kissed the real Raven; for multiple reasons. The most substantial of which being that it wasn't their business. However, he acknowledged the question. "Against my will, I assure you."

Robin and Cyborg laughed a little harder. From Cyborg, not entirely unexpected. But from Robin…now Beast Boy didn't expect that. Usually Robin was the professional of the team. Willing to have fun and a good time, but when it came time to focus on other things that was the focus. "Please, what is the joke that has caused you such joy in this trying time?"

Robin, the self-appointed informer to Starfire said, "It's not even really that funny. It's just the thought that someone pertaining to Raven would let Beast Boy near her, let alone kiss her. No offense Beast Boy."

Beast Boy didn't deny that offended him a little. It would give him the greatest stroke of satisfaction to tell Robin that he was getting very near Raven lately, AND kissing her. But, because he wasn't the only involved party, and he wasn't sure of Raven's feelings on the subject, he didn't tell him. "Well, it's true."

Raven quietly set her tea cup on the coffee table in front of her, and thought still showing total indifference, she stood, and started walking away. "If we want to get rid of this problem, then it would be better to address it now than later."

Beast Boy looked on, confused. "Where are you going?"

Her voice was low and husky, but easily heard. "To my room. And maybe all of you should come. We don't really know what we're dealing with."

BB though his heart skipped a beat. Not only was Raven letting people in her ROOM but she was letting them in her MIND. Something must be wrong. He was concerned but he didn't want to ask her about it in front of the others.

As they followed her on the path to her room, Beast Boy considered what had happened. After he told Raven what had happened the first time, she was obviously shocked. But then the others came in, and her hood went up, along with her defenses. He felt terrible about the whole thing. There was probably a better way to break the situation to her, and he really didn't want to have to involve the other members of the team, but Raven was right: they didn't know what they were dealing with.

He watched Raven walk towards her room, the others falling behind him. She walked with grace, and even though her hood was up, her head was held high, and her pride was strong. If only there was an easier way to see her so dignified. After all the dips and curves in their relationship lately, this was the last thing either of them needed, and he really didn't want to, but it was no longer an option to deal with the situation. They HAD to get rid of that Feminine Side.

They all entered Raven's room in a single file. She opened up the book on the floor, and held out her hand. "We don't want to get lost on the way."

He figured it would be a bad idea to maintain any kind of physical contact he ignored her, and watched Starfire take Raven's hand. He took Starfire's hand, then Cyborg's…the cold, metal clunk that it was. Raven looked over the Titan's, and said to him, "Lead the way."

A deep sigh emerged from Beast Boy's lips. He looked down, and jumped into the book. The others yelled as they were sucked in. The only two that stayed silent were Beast Boy and Raven. Beast Boy because he was used to the process, Raven because she wasn't showing her feelings.

Once they all landed within Timid's territory, they found the entrance to the bedroom. Beast Boy, through repetition becoming mechanically operated, casually let go of Cyborg's hand, and opened the door. As the others followed him in, he noted that the closet door was opened. Usually, the Feminine Side only left the door opened when she was inside. He announced himself. "Uh…Raven? I'm here again. I wanted to introduce you to the other Titans and the uh…other Raven."

His quick cover was a relief to the other Titans. As they observed their surroundings Beast Boy heard a rustling in the closet. "Okay sweetheart, hold on and I'll be right out. I'm just changing."

Beast Boy visibly winced. He knew what kind of clothes she dressed in, but the others didn't. Sometimes she would even come to him in just her low-high cut leotard: the neckline low, the bikini line high.

He turned to his friends. "Um…she kind of has…a little bit of a different dressing style."

Raven put her hood down, and her brow visibly rose at this. "I'm here BB."

All eyes turned to the Feminine Raven. She was leaning against the door for a second before standing out proud and tall. Her clothes were verbatim to the outfit Beast Boy had just described in his mind. With a meek turn of his head, he glanced at his friends. All eyes were wide. Even the real Raven's, someone who had been very nonchalant until now. "Well, don't be shy everyone! Come on in! Make yourselves comfortable."

Suddenly, she made steps towards Beast Boy. Her voice was low and syrupy as she said with a bewitching smile, "Especially you, Beast Boy."

He knew what was coming, and he braced himself as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders, and kissed the daylights out of him. A little analogy ran through his head that he had to fight the urge to laugh at. 'Kissing her is like making out with a mop.'

Once she released him, and went to the bed to grab her cloak, Beast Boy shook his head and turned away. He had forgotten that his friends had watched the whole thing.

Cyborg's mechanical eye was twitching, Robin's eyes in his mask were completely round, Starfire had little pink hearts in her eyes with her chin on her hands, and all of their jaws were on the floor.

Raven, on the other hand, looked hurt. Hurt, saddened, and…was that…jealousy?

He quickly whipped around, and smiled fake-like at the Feminine Side, and said, "Well, I think you know Raven. This is Cyborg, Starfire, and Robin."

She waggled her fingers sweetly at them all, and extended her hand. But she held it palm down, expecting the boys to be gentlemanly and kiss it.

Good thing for her, Robin might have been taught by the best, but he was also raised by the most chivalrous. He reluctantly kissed her hand. Raven stepped to Cyborg, and he very gently tried to kiss her hand. She shook hands with Starfire and a lifeless Raven, then turned back to Beast Boy. "Was there something we all needed to talk about darling?"

A hand scratching the back of his head, Beast Boy said, "Not really. I just…finally told them about you, and they thought we all should meet."

Feminine Side smiled eagerly. "Well, isn't this wonderful! All of us here together! A pity little miss…Rude couldn't be here." Her voice sounded disgusted as she said the name, even though she tried to mean it in the polite context.

Raven's eyes widened at this. "Rude? As in one of my emotions?"

Feminine Side acknowledged Raven politely. "Why, yes, of course. You see, Rude is a VERY unfeminine quality."

Beast Boy's eyes suspiciously glanced Raven's way. She was a smart girl. And whenever Raven got to thinking the churning gears in her mind were practically visible through the hair on her scalp. And right now, her head was practically an X-ray. He hoped that she was reaching a breakthrough on how to get them out of this situation.

Before he could make an excuse as to why they had to leave, Cyborg announced, "Hold up! Raven is talking to a Raven inside her own head, but wouldn't that mean that she's not even in her mind, but the ones in her mind---"

"DUDE, KNOCK IT OFF! This is Mumbo Jumbo all over again you're giving me a headache!"

"YOU'RE GETTIN' A HEADACHE??????? I'm beyond confused, and I've GOT A COMPUTER CHIP IN MY HEAD! And I've been here before."

"Stop it!"

Raven's menacing voice ceased their argument. Her dark purple eyes shifted over to the Feminine Side. A phony have-a-good-day smile split her mouth, and she said, "It was so nice meeting you, but unfortunately I know that you have to do your nails."

Gasping, the Feminine Raven covered her mouth, then rushed back to the closet. From inside, she said, "Of course, I don't know what I was thinking! I truly apologize for meeting and running, but would you mind finding your ways to the Forbidden Doors?"

"Not at all, we'll show ourselves out!" Raven jerked her gaze outwards, and everyone followed her. But once they were out of the door, she was grabbing Starfire's hand, and leading the way. The Titan's quickly linked hands, trying to keep pace with Raven's rapid steps.

Once out of the book, Raven instantly let go of Starfire's hand, and began to scurry throughout her room; ravaging her bookshelves. She pulled a lot from her shelf, and once she had an armful, she would toss it on her bed. They all watched her with frightened eyes. "Uh…Raven?" robin ventured cautiously.

"What," Raven barked. Once she had all the books she wanted, she licked her thumb, and began to flip through the pages. The scripts she had on her bed were of varying sizes, but there was one common factor: They were all brown, and leather bound.

"Please Raven, we are all eager to absolve this problem. Perhaps we could assist you in your search for…for…what ARE you searching for please?"

Raven's eyes briefly scanned pages before she tossed the book aside.

Oh…this was serious.

Raven was tossing aside BOOKS.

"I don't know exactly Starfire, so you probably couldn't help me. In fact, I'd prefer to be left alone right now."

Some people didn't question Raven's request to be alone; the smart ones anyway. Cyborg and Robin zapped out of Raven's room quicker than the Flash.

Starfire stepped carefully to the bed. "But Raven, perhaps we could aid in your search."

Beast Boy, who had really wanted to leave Raven, but also wanted to be with her alone for a few moments, said, "Totally Raven. I mean, come on, we can help you look for whatever you need if you'll just tell us."

With a fiery look that no one had seen on her since she nuked breakfast that fateful morning, Raven shouted, "No!"

Armed with enough warning now, Beast Boy grabbed Starfire's elbow and led her out. Once they were reunited in the Main room, Beast Boy was automatically the first target. "Beast Boy what the hell?"

His brow rose to his robotic friend. "Huh?"

"What were you thinkin'? You were in her mind before! Once you accidentally got in, you shoulda gotten back out! And FAST DAWG!"

Beast Boy crossed his arms. "Oh come on! There were freaky doors all around the place and it's not real easy finding your way around in there!"

Cyborg held up his robotic hand, and put it to Beast Boy's face. "Don't EVEN exaggerate on that one man!"

Beast Boy confronted Cyborg, to the point where he was directly in his face. "I'm not exaggerating Cyborg! You saw it in there! It's hard to find your way anyplace!"

"Friends! Please stop! We should not fight when we are having such troubles otherwise."

Beast Boy leaned away as Starfire separated them with her soft hands. Forever the peacemaker, she said, "This is no longer about the mistakes once made. This is what we must do now to rectify the once-made mistakes."

Solemnly glancing down at his feet, Beast Boy realized that Star was right. It was time to focus on the issues at hand. And what better way than to confront them directly?

Without a word, he did an about-face and marched towards Raven's room.

(Raven's Room.)

Her breaths were deep and shuddering. Flipping through the appendixes in each of the books on her bed, one after the other, Raven was trying desperately to keep her mind on what she may, or may not be looking for. After hearing Beast Boy explain what he had been doing lately, added with the bizarre meeting with the Feminine Side, she could feel the threatening rise of powerful emotions. So she had no choice but to do an emotional shut-down. It had worked when she was in front of the others, but now that she was by herself, and had actual time to consider how she felt, it was much harder to contain everything.

The strings that held her control were pretty close to snapping. So she tried to keep everything out of her mind. A lot of good that did. It hurt her in more ways than one when Beast Boy told her about the events of the past week. It occurred to her that maybe during the past week that maybe the only reason she was falling in love with Beast Boy was because the Feminine Side was in love with him. It also occurred to her that since he hated kissing the Feminine Side, then he probably hated kissing her. But when she thought of that, she would ask herself why he had kissed her so often lately. And that opened a door to another range of confusing questions. Everything was so jumbled and peculiar she didn't know what to do.

There was a knock at her door, and every bone in her body knew who it was. "Go away Beast Boy."

His voice was muffled on the other side. "Raven, come on! Please let me help. I don't know what you're looking for, but maybe we can---"

"No!" She interrupted. "I don't know what I'm looking for either Beast Boy, just go away."

The little bastard was persistent. "Well, then maybe we should just talk. You're upset Raven. I don't know why, and maybe I should, but I don't. Just talk to me, please!"

She stopped flipping through the pages for the first time since she started. Her thumb was sore, her eyes were a little tired, and she was in desperate need of a back massage the way she had been hunched over. She slammed one of her books shut, faced forward, and after dropping her hood and arching her back to a straight posture, Raven said, "Come in," her voice ringing with pride.

Beast Boy cautiously entered, his face meek and questioning. Her first form: attack. "So kind of you to wait for an answer this time."

He flinched. "I deserved that."

A bogus, wide smile spread over her lips. "No you don't. I'm being kind."

Walking over to her bed, Beast Boy kept firm eye contact. "Okay, I understand that you're mad at me, but you don't have to worry! Just tell me what some of your questions are, and maybe I can answer."

Raven's false smile disappeared, and she looked down. "Hey." He put his thumb under her chin to raise her face. "I'd rather have a renewed friendship than an awkward fighting silence. I'd also rather have rejection than ignored chemistry."

A blush spread over Raven's cheeks that she couldn't stop. It was obvious what he meant. And perhaps he was right. Maybe if they spoke to each other about their problems for once, then the whole situation could be handled, and maybe they could put it behind them. She took his hand under her chin, and threaded their fingers together. Beast Boy was her dearest friend, and the last thing she wanted was to create something between them that would do damage to the team.

He waited patiently as she summoned her questions. She took a deep breath, and began. "First of all, why didn't you stop seeing her those first few times that you didn't know she was made of Anger?"

Beast Boy stroked the back of her hand with his thumb as he spoke. "Well, if you want the truth, I was kind of happy to have all the attention she was offering. I mean, she was nice, she laughed at my jokes. It was a refreshing turn, since you never laugh at them. Only at me."

That made Raven blush. She did make fun of him a lot. And most of those times simply because he was easy to pick on. Maybe it was mean and maybe it wasn't necessary but…it was something she had gotten used to.

"Okay…I guess that's fair. Now, um…" she tried to formulate the words, and with extreme difficulty, she said, "Why have you been kissing her?"

He gave an exaggerated shudder. "Because I'm trying to keep her from getting mad. Believe me, it's not something I enjoy."

Her brow rose. At his answer, it was easy to handle the next question. "Then why have you been kissing me?"

Beast Boy's brows furrowed. "Huh?"

She turned to she was facing him directly. "You've been kissing both of us haven't you? Well, if she kisses so terribly, then why have you been kissing me? And been telling me all this personal information lately?"

He looked a little hesitant, then his eyes shifted back and forth before he looked at her with a bright, confident smile. "Actually Raven, it might seem crazy, but even though she's a part of you, she kisses really different from you. Hers are wet and sloppy and forceful or pinching. You might as well call me Goldilocks, cuz I gotta tell ya, yours are just right!"

Raven's eyes widened to the size of dinner plates. "Wait…what?"

His lids dropped a little as he stared at her lips. She found it a little awkward as he continued to gaze at her mouth. "It's weird. While her kisses suck---literally---yours feel really good. Maybe that's why I've been kissing you so much lately."

Raven snorted. "Please. I was never even kissed before you."

He grinned. "That doesn't mean you can't be good at it." He waggled his eyebrows mischievously.

It was incredible. She, Raven, the girl who never ever thought much of herself in the female sense, was feeling proud. Yet, a little bashful. "You…really think I kiss well?"

A seductive smile changing from that naughty grin, he leaned closer, his intention obvious and welcome. "Oh yeah." As his warm lips caressed over hers, a sudden burst of comprehension smacked Raven in the head. Feminine Raven couldn't possibly be the reason why she loved Beast Boy.

It was because he was…Beast Boy.

She gently stroked his shoulders as she opened her mouth for him. 'Now all I've got to do is tell him.'

As she pulled away, her eyes smiled in a way that her lips couldn't, into his. He gently stroked her leg, an awkward feeling because she wasn't used to it, but also because it was tingling her insides. "So…what were you looking for?"

It just occurred to her that he was dropping the subject that they were both trying to face. But that was alright with her; she wanted to treasure this pleasant time. She twisted around so she could find a book. "What you said before, about the ceremony with the Monks? I think I have a book somewhere that has something about that. I came across it when Malchior was teaching me that black magic." A trace of black hate was thrown into her voice as she recalled the deceitful memory.

Beast Boy looked a little pleased that she hated thinking about Malchior so much. "You read the whole book?"

She shook her head. "No. There was nothing in it pertaining to the kind of magic he wanted me to learn, so I ignored it."

He nodded, and with a helpful smile, took the thick book from her hands. "So let's get to work."