From: WTF.( )
dude. you are such an asshole. your eyes don't change colour, that's impossible.
stop kidding yourself that you're OMG SPESHUL. secondly, woohoo, i'm english too
but you don't see me making a big fuss over it. grow up - no one cares what
nationality you are. the same goes for your religion. thirdly, the "jokes" on
your bio page? are so, so, so NOT funny. come on, 'Who was the first person to
say, "See that chicken over there ... I'm gonna eat the first thing that comes
out if its butt"?' how pathetic. it doesn't even make sense. our ancestors knew
birds laid eggs, they often went looking for nests so that they could take the
eggs and eat them. it was the next logical step to domesticate birds. also,
there is so much wrong with your story, but i'm not even going to go there.
when you've become a bit more humble, we'll talk.
YAY MY FIRST FLAME! WOOHOO! People I think I may have our hacker/virus sender. Now lets get down to business:
1)Eyes actually CAN change colour. Its very rare but it can happen due to such things as temperature, the same way your pupils dilate when you see sumone you hate or when you clench your fists in anger like many others would do at receiving a flame.
2)How am I flaunting the fact im English? Whats so great? OH MY GOD IM NOT FRENCH, GERMAN OR AMERICAN! IM ENGLISH! OMG LETS ALL DANCE AROUND THE HAPPY TREE!
3)Religion? WTF are you on about? I just put I am a Christian male so what?
4)Yeah but think about it. Lets take Mr Ug. Now Mr Ug one day was walking through the forest when he spots a strange creature. Now Mr Ug got hungry so decided to kill the strange thing. However when Mr Ug got close enough to throw his spear he watched in amazement as the creature dropped an oval shaped white thing out of its butt.
Now why would Mr Ug eat such a thing?
5)Well lets see your story? No you don't even have an account! DO YOU! See. Your to much of a pussy to even make an account! Come back and flame me again when YOU have a story and an account!
NEXT!
iza123
interesting start. However, your chapters are far too short. They need to be five or six times longer. As a result of your short chapters, you are taking far too long to get into your story. Please lengthen them
That last chapter was only 10 complete. Just had to post Something so you didn't all try and kill me.
Anyways onto the much awaited chapter 5(?) I can't actually believe how popular this fic is!. 30 reviews after 4 short chapters! Oh a note on pronunciation differences between the two races:
Vampire: Vamp - ire
Vampyre: Vam - pyre
Small but important difference. Oh by the way if you're a vampire lover get the demo of Bloodrayne! Its great and pretty cheap by now. Thanks to all my reviewers btw and im sorry again for such a long awaited update.
XOXOXOXOXOXThe pitch black midnight sky was cloudless, the moon shining a welcome slither of light own onto the overgrown forest path.
Even the crickets had finally laid down to rest, the owls fast asleep inside the shadowy castle owlery while black bats flew from tower to tower, their high shrieked cries inaudible to a normal humans hearing. However it was not a normal human that was currently listening. The lanky black shadow lay silent in the bushes, gleaming yellow eyes unblinking as they stared straight ahead at the sheer walls of the castle as their owner studied for a weak point while watching for movement. A small kink of light shone out from one of the many tower windows. The figures emotionless gaze watched as a shadow moved across the window and it reached out with its senses, narrowing his mind to focus on that one faint glimmer of light. However, even with the figures best efforts his mind could not pierce the intricate web of wards and defences and he was repulsed. Panting slightly from the effort he straightened himself.
'Old habits die hard.' The figure thought grimly to itself as the panting abruptly ceased 'Remembering mortal habits would be no good now.'
He sighed and rolled over onto his back before slowly sending in his hourly report. Looking back up at the sky he saw a wisp of cloud pass over the slowly descending bright shimmering ball of light. No mortal would be able to see its small gradual descent but his senses had long since been fine-tuned to the point of perfection. His shift was over and with a thought he silently disappeared.
However if he had stayed for only a few seconds longer he would have clearly seen the outline of a young girl staring sadly out at the night sky. Her soul and heart aching for the ones she had lost. A few minutes later the figure retreated however even the heavy veil of sleep could not keep back to kind of demons that plagued her and it was only a nervous shell of a once confident and proud young woman who left the tower the following morning, this time unwatched as the sanctuary of daylight settled around her, keeping away both those who wished to harm her and those who wished to help.
XOXOXOXOXOX
That night the mysterious figure had returned however along side him stood two more shadowy figures. Tonight was the night of the full moon, the time when their kind had the most control over their urges and were at the peak of their strength. Normally the wards around Hogwarts castle prevented any intrusion by a magical-creature not approved by the Headmaster but the calling each and every one of their kind had sensed the night before had filled them with a sense of urgency. No others had been able to arrive in time to help, this was a stealth mission not a simple slaughter raid or a kidnapping, leave such brutal acts of savage butchery to the likes of the Vampires. This was not the normal slash and burn approach used to secure a member of their kind, this single mission could determine the survival of their race and they could not mess it up. Success weighed upon stealth, and these three were the best suited to this kind of mission.
The figure from the night before turned to his companions.
"The castle is surrounded by a powerful net of repelling wards, even once we can get through all of our main advantages will be lost. We will be functioning as if we were in daylight so that means we must be as quick as possible and avoid all confrontations. The target is inside the northwest-most towers but from our preliminary scouting there is no way up from the exterior. My sight cannot penetrate past the walls so were going by smell here. Use non-lethal methods only to subdue any sentries or guards we come across. Once inside me and Melissa will split up and search the castle, Corwin you will need to make sure we have an escape route planned. As I said the wards are going to be as tough as hell to break through and once inside we loose our advantage of stealth, speed and especially flight, we'll have to do this the old fashioned way people."
The second male figure, Corwin, nodded
"How many inside sir?"
"From what I can see from the exterior not very many, 6 at the most." Seeing his companions relaxing expressions he continued "However once the wards are broken we will only have a few minutes before support arrives for them, probably only Aurors but when word gets out of who's doing the break in then they'll have hunters on our tails."
An involuntary shudder passed through the group as they each recalled memories that they had vowed to stay hidden away. The mere mention of hunters was the equivalent of a mortal parent telling their young children about how the bogeyman would get them if they didn't be good. No vampire, Vampyre or other magical creature escaped when a Hunter was on their trail. If this mission went awry then they knew they would be dead before sunrise.
Finally the female broke the silence
"Ok let's move out!"
XOXOXOXOXOX
Corwin wired the last of the converted muggle explosives, a look of glee on his face. Unlike other magical races the Vampyres respected other races technologies and used them to their advantage. These bombs, when detonated would release a giant pulse of magic overwhelming the wards and allowing them to quickly rush in. Hopefully without managing to alert the ward keeper, though he knew that it was almost impossible to hope not to. Connecting the last of the wires Corwin made his way over to where his companions waited.
"90 seconds to detonation sir!"
"Good. Get ready to make a run for it"
The next minute past in silence. The three Vampyres were tense, this was the most daring mission all three had ever attempted, taking the lead from that time Melissa had successfully fought off that nest of vampires only to be confronted by the Hunters who had…
"15 seconds"
"Get ready"
Conwin began the whispered countdown
"5"
"4"
"3"
"2"
"1..."
XOXOXOXOXOX
The resulting blast of magical energy tore through the wards, renting giant tears in the thin fabric of magic. However even as the strands began to re-knit themselves the trio had leapt through. Suddenly Conwin grunted as a searing pain flowed through his chest. Melissa doubled over but continued her run and, being the fastest of the trio, she reached the giant shadowed entrance way first. Conwin and Damien, Damien being the name of the third Vampyre had only just reached the cover of the shadows as the door flew open and two mortals burst through wands in hand. As the two humans stared out at the forest Conwin signalled and the trio made their way inside the castle.