Just so you don't get confused, everytime it goes somewhere else or something like that in this chapter, Praxis will somehow come back to life and get killed.

Praxis: I hate you.

Cir: (shoots him) I like Praxis, but it's just funny to watch him die!

Torn: Especially to me!

BAR WARS: ATTACK OF THE PHONES
Chapter Three: Praxis won't Stop Dying!

Daxter tried to shake the grenade off but only managed to also get it stuck to his forehead as well. "Help me Odi!" he said.

Torn took out an electric shaver and shaved off the fur it was glued onto and threw it.

Praxis, who was happy at being alive, walked near them. "Hi, I-" The grenade landed at his feet. "What the f-" The grenade exploded, killing him in a big mushroom cloud visible from space.

"Wow, that's a big explosion," an astronot said.

"Cool!" Errrol said.

"You're on fire," Jak said.

"So?"

"You're an ent-like thing."

"Oh."

Torn and Daxter jumped in the car before they could react and drove away toward the port, thinking it was another planet. They thought Veger was working for Jak, who they thought was Sidious. In fact, Jak had made it to the port first and was involved in a conversation with Veger.

"I'm telling you, we'll save more money if we buy socks from people at dry cleaners then if we get them at stores!" Jak said.

"Now why didn't I think of that?" Veger asked himself.

"Maybe-"

Veger cut Praxis off. "Rhetorical question."

"Oh," Praxis said.

Torn and Daxter saw the three talking. "Look, Dooku is scheming with his master, Sidious!" Torn said.

Daxter nodded in agreement. "Who knows what terribly sickplans they're plotting..."

"I feel like playing Donkey Kong," Jak said. "I haven't played Nintendo for a while."

"I wonder why they named an ape donkey?" Veger asked.

Praxis was about to answer when the car missed hitting Jak or Veger and hit him into the port where he drowned.

"Well that was unexpected," Veger said. "We better make a diversion-" Then he noticed Jak was already halfway down the street on a yakow.

"Faster!" he said to the yakow. "Crap, he saw me!"

Torn took out a crow bar and him and Daxter jumped off the car, and it once again hit the same innocent bystander, who went to the hospital once again screaming curses and threats.

Torn swung his crowbar at Veger who screamed and ducked. Torn tried to hit him and Veger moved, screaming like a little girl. Torn tried again and again, but Veger kept moving. "Stop moving and fight like the bad guy you are!" Torn said.

"Because I have a reason to live!" Veger said.

"That guy sounds and looks like the bounty hunter!" Daxter said.

"You're right Anakin, there's only one logical explaination," Torn said. "FAIRY GODPARENYS!"

While they spoke, Veger crawled into the port and swam for his life.

Meanwhile, Jak met up with Pecker and Et, who were looking for the rest of the hypnotized. Damas, Ashelin, Jinx and Samos ran passed them, being chased by Gol who was yelling at them for stealing his pants. Praxis was following Gol for no apparent reason.

"I'll handle this," Jak said before whipping out his Super Nova.

The other two jumped on him to make him stop, but Pecker was too light so wasn't really helping.

Et got the Nova. "Don't shoot it at such a close distance!" he said before accidently pulling the trigger causing the missile to shoot.

"Why always me?" Praxis said before he was killed by the missile.

"That was expected," Pecker said.

"Don't you mean unexpected?" Jak asked.

"No, he's always dying so it was expected."

"Shouldn't we be catching them?" Et pointed at the hypnotized who had chased Gol up a flag poll and were slashing at the base with their bars, thinking they were light sabers.

"Why won't these work?" Jinx asked.

"Because this is a light saber!" Darth Vader said before taking one out. Gol flew down, took it and started using it as a defense weapon. However, it was made only for Darth Vader, and it shocked him. "Mine!" Vader said before taking thelight saber.

Torn and Daxter drove down the road, and they saw Praxis walking around. So they nuced him for no reason. "There," Daxter said before they were hit by the shockwave.

Erol had been captured by Veger and some freedom guards. "Why do you keep cloning yourself?" Veger asked, seeing as Erol had just made a plastic Erol named Erroll.

"I feel like it."

"Count Vecher, why don't we use the clones to round up the hypnotized?" a guard asked.

"VEGER!"

"It's not my fault that two counts have a similar name," the guard mumbled.

"But I like your idea," Veger said. "How long until you can clone?"

Erol shrugged. "No one knows."

"Five hours," Errol said, making Erol look stupid.

"I don't think this is a good idea," Keira, who had come out of no where, said.

"Who cares, it's eighteen billion against one," Veger said.

"Actually, including you, the guards and the three Erols, there's only fourteen of us here," the same guard said.

I think I'll end it there for now.

Errol: How many of us will there be?

Cir: Quite a bit.

Errrol: Yipee, I'm still alive!

Jak: But you're still on fire.

Cir: The next chapter will be uploaded soon, but while you wait, why not send me a review?