Time for chapter five!

Jak: Don't you mean four?

Cir: Uh... yes. I was just testing you.

Jak: (rolls eyes)

Cir: But here we go! Time for the phones to come in!

BAR WARS: ATTACK OF THE PHONES
Chapter Four: Really Really Really Crazy Phones

Back at the metalhead nest, Praxis had once again arrived, to see the metalheads not playing packman. "What happened to the game?" he asked.

"We died, so I ate it," one said.

"You played for eight hours straight without dying?"

"Yep!"

"Anyway, we think that we should use some kind of electromagnetic disruption controller to rule the city," the other said. Praxis and the other metalhead gave him a confused look. "A controller that can take over electric stuff." Same confused look. "A video game hand thingy." Same confused look. He held out a playstation controller with an antenna on it.

"Oh!" the other two said.

"Well let's start." The metalhead turned it on.

(In Haven City)

Veger was on the phone when the wires shot out of the wall and grabbed his dinner. They pulled it into the wall. "Hey!" Veger took out a blaster. "Give me my dinner back!" The phone shook its head.

"Now!" The phone shook its head.

"I'm a master at kung fu!" The phone laughed. Veger karate chopped the phone's head in half. "I warned it."

(In Torn and Daxter's car)

Torn was on the walkie talkie. Then the walkie talkie cord wrapped around his neck. Torn cut it in half with his bar saber. "What was that?"

"Well, I'd say that the walkie talkie just tried to strangle you," Gol said. Torn glared at him.

Jak was walking through Haven City with Kor. They had vollintered to go after Damas, Jinx and Ashelin. While they were walking through the slums, they saw Seem shaking her cell phone.

"What's wrong?" Jak asked.

"My cell just went beserk," Seem said. Then it lunged at her throat, but since it had no arms, the phone just hit her and bounced off onto the ground. Jak shot it with a peacemaker.

"Hey! That cost a lot!" Seem said angrily before chasing Jak around the slums. Let's fast forward, shall we?

Seem chased Jak around the slums, both running really fast and Kor watched. When Jak escaped, he ran into Errrol, who was still on fire.

"How can something made of wood stay on fire for so long?" Jak asked. Errrol shrugged.

Then Jinx rode by on the same yakow Jak used to escape, except he had a machine gun with a bar saber in the barrel. Jak ran after him but was kicked by the yakow across town, where Praxis had just arrived and he crushed him, killing the baron.

"Well, Metal Kor killed him already, so it doesn't matter," Jak said before throwing the corpse in a ditch.

"He wouldn't give me the Precursor Stone," Kor defended.

Jak shrugged then got hit by Torn and Daxter's car.

Next thing the two knew, their car was shot out of the sky. "We're under attack!" Daxter said from under the car with broken arms and legs.

"Help me Anakin!" Torn said, since his head was jammed in a wall by Jak who had just walked up to him.

"Good one," Vader said to Jak and they high fived.

"I'll save you quickly!" Daxter said to Torn, but since his arms and legs were broken, he had to call 911 with his tongue, wait for the ambulance which broke down half way and the driver didn't know how to fix it so he called another ambulance which crashed into the other one since it was still in the driveway, which meant Daxter was right beside the hospital. The two drivers called a professional, which crashed into the ambulance since the brakes were broken. It took them about an hour to fix it, then the ambulance ran out of gas. The driver had to walk to the gas station and bring back a can, which it filled up the ambulance with, by which time the repair man had brought Daxter to the hospital, but since they didn't treat animals, they took him to the vet where his owner (Jak) had to fill out forms. The vet went to get green eco, but was out so he had to order more. After ten minutes, the eco came, but Jak dropped it and it splattered on the vet, by which time Daxter's bones were healed so he went to find where Torn was.

Daxter pulled Torn's head out. "Told you I'd do it quick, right Odi?" Daxter said. Torn rolled his eyes.

"Now, let's find those villians!"

(Somewhere else)

Et and Pecker had somehow captured Jinx, who had gone on a rampage with his bar machine gun. Pecker had overpowered him (huh?) and tied Jinx to a chair. "This is no way to treat Mace Windu!" he yelled over and over, so Et put and apple in his mouth.

"So what now?" Pecker asked.

"I de-hypnotize him," Et said before sitting in a chair that magically appeared and started reading a book.

"Well?" Pecker said.

"I have to read how to de-hypnotize," Et said.

"Why can't you just say 'you are back to normal'?" Pecker asked.

"Either I do the professional was, or, if I do what you said, I have to talk about every single thing that happened in his life," Et answered.

Pecker groaned. "Exactly how long will that take?" he asked.

"Well, the chapter's over in about 50 pages." Pecker groaned again before he was hit with the apple Jinx had spit out.

Jak was standing around, doing nothing in particular, when Veger jumped behind him. "What's wrong Vecher?"

"Can you stop getting my name CONFUSED WITH THAT OF ANOTHER COUNT?" Veger screamed. Jak shook his head. "Anyway, Torn and Daxter are trying to slice me in half, claiming I'm some Dooku, which I have no idea about."

"Count Dooku was a Jedi who left and decided to join the Dark Side. It was mostly because he thought it was the good guy's fault that Qui-Gon Jinn died, so he decided to go bad. He was a very good fighter, and was able to defeat Obi and Anakin, but in the third Star Wars he was killed by Anakin who cut his head off. That must mean that they're after you to kill you, so you need to be really good at fighting," Jak said.

"SO THEY WANT ME DEAD?" Veger screamed.

"Basically."

He somehow jumped up onto a roof and hid behind a lot of junk. "How'd he do that?" Jak wondered out loud.

Torn and Daxter ran up to Jak. "Palpatine, have you seen Dooku anywhere?" Daxter asked.

"Uh...He went that way," Jak said, pointing in the wrong direction. "I would of stopped him, but he...uh... had a bad sandwich."

Torn and Daxter ran in that direction. "They're gone," Jak said, to get no reply. "Veger?" No reply. Then Jak got an idea. "Where are you Count Vecher?"

"VEGER!" Veger screamed, poking his head over a chimney.

"Well now that I have your attention, they're gone!" Jak said.

"Jak, have you seen my pet?" Kor, who came out of no where, asked.

"I never knew you had a pet," Jak answered.

"I do."

"I don't want to marry you!"

Kor smacked his forehead. "I mean I do have a pet. It's a gigantic four legged monster with fangs the size of your ears (and remember that their ears are about a foot long) and blood red eyes, and it makes Metal me look like a sissy," Kor explained.

"Wow."

"And that thing's on the loose?" Veger yelled.

"I know you're upset-"

But Kor was cut off. "Upset? I'm delighted!" Veger said. "If I catch that, I could be promoted!" Veger laughed maniacally.

"The stress has gotten to him," Jak said to Kor. "Just back away slowly..." They ran for their lives.

There you go, another chapter!

Jak: So?

Cir: Good point. I'll just tell you to review. Review!