Title:ChipOff The Old Block
Author: Wicked R
Disclaimers: Ryan Murphy is the genius.
Genre: Drama/Angst

Rating: PG.
Summary/Set/Pairing: after the season 3 finale. I bet everybody will come up with their own version of how to get Kimber and Christian back together.

Kimber killed the engine, momentarily regarding the two women who strolled past Christian's apartment building. In local fashion, it wasn't the Miami sun that made them dress so scarcely, but the desire to impress with still young, but already carefully shaped bodies they must have acquired with daily hours long workouts at the gym. Kimber found that since she didn't have to care for her body, no lengthy times looking for the right make up and clothes at the shop, no checking in mirrors whether she looked perfect all the time, she had so much more time for herself, to work, to relax and to read, educating herself in matters that she had ignored previously. Contrary to the common belief of those who didn't really know her, she wasn't a brainless bimbo. Hell, she wasn't even a bimbo anymore, or more likely she didn't intend to be. All she had achieved and attained was by own effort, of course she had used her body as the means, it was ultimately her brain that had allowed her business to flourish.

She had been thinking for weeks about her experience, about what everybody said, the Carver, Christian, the counsellor she was offered to attend by the police after her ordeal. She didn't doubt she was suffering from post traumatic stress disorder. Mirrors were particularly difficult. Since the Carver made her look into mirrors a lot, as she has still called Quentin the Carver cause she didn't dare to think there could be another ordinary doctor out there who could do the same things to people, mirrors acted as triggers for her flashback episodes, nightmares, and frightening thoughts. Part of the same syndrome, but she thanked God for the emotional numbness that otherwise encompassed her, and her body for knowing what to do. That is what she could thank for being able to survive as well, the thing she and the Carver obsessed over for so long, her body. But she did want to put it all behind her, forget the terror if it was at all possible. So she continued to try to achieve that goal by the only means she could just now, by taking out tonnes of books from the library on the victims of abduction and torture to be able to understand more what exactly had happened to her and how she should deal with it.

Upon reading, she had repeatedly bumped into the notion that Christian had previously explained to her, telling her she was suffering from it, the Stockholm syndrome. In the books it was described as a survivor mechanism, based on the often unconscious idea that the captor will not hurt the captive if she is cooperative and even positively supportive. A former victim may seem unable to stop focusing on the same type of behaviour she had when she was held by the aggressor, unable to go on with their lives. They gradually found ways to justify their abusers' actions and belief systems. It was written down black and white that it was in some ways expected from her to behave this way, and logically she could see how that happened to her, yet still she was unable to snap out of it. She didn't want to snap out of it, because if she did, something...something dreadful will occur, something she didn't even want to think about. She also knew, was aware of and suffering from how she was lied to, betrayed, and selfishly harmed by the Carver. But all that didn't mean he was wrong.

Having gone round and round in circles about the same issue in her mind, enough to make her head spin, she concentrated on practical issues now. In a hurry of getting a job she wasn't, if she used her economies well, she didn't have to think about that for a while, but she did have to start with figuring out what to do with the rest of her life. She didn't need no prenuptial agreements no more to steer clear from her Kimber dolls or the porn business, but the revenues coming from her previous ventures still gave her some financial stability to have a good think about her next career move.

First of all, she had to find out who she was and then when she had some clues over that, she would find something that suited her personality. There were not many aspects of her old self she wanted to keep, apart from standing up for herself. Not even all the material assets she had piled up in her house suited her anymore, they were all about pampering her body and looking gorgeous in her sexy dresses. She hardly had anything to wear that went along with her current beliefs. Some of her jogging wear would still be good to use around the house, but she had left them at Christian's. No problem, she still had the keys and as long as she went during working hours and made sure his car wasn't parked outside, she didn't even need to meet him.

On entrance, female presence was evident. There was a definite smell of cooking still lingering in the background, now slightly overpowered by the pleasant fragrance of some flowery bath foam. Kimber wasn't at all surprised, in fact she was counting on it. She knew Christian has made more of a commitment with her than he ever had before and felt to a certain degree guilty about making him suffer. But first, she had to think about herself for a change and second, Christian would never stay single for very long. She aimed towards the bedroom wardrobe without much curiosity concerning the occupant of the bed, but stopped short finding herself staring at the scene.

The woman, wearing not much more than a bathrobe, was lying on the bed sheets leisurely, as if making herself home, reading some cult magazine, but looked more like Christian's maid than his anybody who he would accept as his lover at any point. Yet, her first assumptions about the identity of the person seemed to be proven by the fact that some larger size female clothes were intermingled on the floor with Christian's, "who are you?" She managed, fearing something sinister.

"You must be Kimber," sat up the other, "my name is Abby. I live here."

"As what?" asked the even more confused ex sex goddess.

"As...I don't know. Christian says I need so many surgeries it's not worth trying, and I certainly can't afford it. I'm trying to gather some more money at least with not having pay rent anywhere."

"Since when!"

"Last week."

"I don't know what you think it's going on here, but you can not seriously even contemplate the fact that Christian likes you in any way," Kimber said upset that Christian has went back to his old ways of doing pranks on poor women, cause what she saw couldn't be anything else than that. The only thing that surprised her was that her ex fiancée could actually stand to look at somebody as far from perfection in his eyes as Abby was. Even for the sake of some tasteless wind-up. What on earth was he up to this time? Whatever was going on, she needed to put at least some of the fire, so she sat down on the bed and started to explain carefully, "look, I don't wanna be nasty to you or anything, but you have to know that Christian is very likely to abuse relationships. I don't think it's his fault, there was nobody there to show him how it should be. Nevertheless, you could get caught..."

Abby gave a small laugh, "do you think I don't know that? Besides, there are always two parties involved in abusive relationships. I let him do that to me."

"Abusive...why?"

"Some people do that you know. Suffering could be an enhancement to sexual pleasure," Abby decided she had nothing to hide. The other one was seeing through them anyway, and hey, she had the tendency to set herself up to situations like this, "who decides what is characterized as pleasurable or unpleasurable?"

"But that certainly can not be healthy."

"What if it is a solution to a problem? Who's talking miss lost yourself? You to tell me what is healthy. Christian does all this for you!"

"And how would that be?"

"As much as it suits me, he told my why I am here. For you to see that he doesn't care as much about appearances as you think he does."

"So this is a show for me? Well, thanks for telling, but I would've never believed it anyway," Kimber stood up and started packing her stuff, "still, you shouldn't let him exploit you. He might have some more surprises for you that you might not like."

"He might. But not for you. Love involves respect, trust, and consideration for the other person. He has all that for you."

"How can you put him in a good light? Didn't you just say he makes you suffer?"

"I just know him, because we are very much alike. Masochism and sadism are the faces of the same coin. Did you know that abusers act out of deep seated shame and feelings of inadequacy? They seek to pull people down to make themselves feel better. Survivors who were sexually assaulted numerous times, especially as children, may have become addicted to sex and may do activities that are sexually inappropriate or even sexually abusive."

"What are you talking about? He has not been..."

"How do you know? Does he talk about his childhood to anyone?" Abby intercepted.

"And I suppose he told you, ha."

"He doesn't talk about it, but I know we are more similar than one could imagine."

"That is a mere assumption."

"Maybe. But how did he get the way he is? He needs to feel superior, especially sexually. What about the nightmares? The not sleeping if didn't have his needs fulfilled? The compulsive sexual activity and dysfunction, social alienation? Inability to sustain intimacy in relationships, overachievement and hyperconsciousness of body and appearance? Think about it Kimber."

"And what if? What does that change?"

"I'm pretty much an outsider. I can see what is going on. With you, he was on the way of becoming a normal person. Me, I reinforce his old behaviour."

"And why are you telling me this instead of stopping it yourself?"

"I can't stop. It's compulsive with me too."

"And I can't help just now," Kimber left with the items she came for, "certainly not now."

tbc