Disclaimer: All the characters in my fic, as well as their background belong to J. R. R. Tolkien and J. K. Rowling. I just own the plot and nothing else. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do. Have Fun!

"Oh, no! Not a bloody Ring again!"

By: cris.carla

Part one:

The Return of the ring of power

II

At Gandalf's Cabin

Gimli and Legolas are having a discussion right in front of Gandalf's cabin. The good-looking and very stylish elf is admiring his stunning image in a mirror while the bearded Dwarf is waving his axe around in a very manly way.

"The old wizard is not home. Let's find a nice married she-elf to harass Ok?" said Gimli enthusiastically.

"My bearded, ugly and unfashionable Dwarf friend" said Legolas patiently as he started to comb his hair "Gandalf told us to meet him here. I'm sure he'll be arriving soon."

"What if he doesn't?"

"Be patient, my friend. My elvish inner sight tells me that he won't take too lon…Oh! My God!"

"What is it? What did you're elvish inner eye showed you?"

"I just broke a nail!"

"You are a disgrace to all the Middle Earth males, did you know that."

"Actually…" said Legolas polishing his nails "I think I'm the cleverest of them all. The elf babes absolutely adore me. I bond with them in a way you can't possibly imagine."

"Kinky!" Gimli said with dreamy gaze.

"Yes, it is." Gimli shook his head to wake himself up from the weird fantasy he was having.

"I still think that a man that can call himself a Man has to be sloppy, dirty and smelly. Look at King Aragorn for an example, he became king and got married with that hot Elf babe."

"Using Aragorn as a male model role isn't very smart. Not only is he sloppy and smelly, he is also rude, violent and has no fashion sense whatsoever."

"So? He still married that dazzling beauty hasn't he?"

"He did, but not because of his so called male qualities that you have mentioned before." Gimly frowned.

"Really? Why did she marry him, then?

"The tiara, my dear friend. It's so obvious. She only did it so that she could wear a tiara. She doesn't care about him. Haven't you heard about her little escapades?" Gimli shook his head "Well, apparently she is having a little affair with our old friend Treebeard."

"No way!" said Gimli looking really astonished "What could she possibly see in him?"

"Word is that he has certain male attributes that make girls crazy."

"Attributes? You mean he is sloppy, dirty and smelly?"

"The small and bearded fellows are so obtuse."

"Who are you calling obtuse you little abnormal."

"And who are you calling pointy eared you filthy little peck?"

"Peck? Peck? Now you're gonna get it. You're gonna eat my axe.

"And you're gonna eat my bow."

Legolas grasped Gimli's axe and the other one grasped his bow.

"Wow! You're axe is really tasty. Yummy, strawberry and vanilla is it?

"Hey and you're bow is so delicious. I love chocolate and nuts. Oh! And this honey flavour, it's absolutely perfect."

"Are we interrupting something?" Gandalf asked.

Frodo and him had been standing there for the past ten minutes and were looking astonished at them.

"Oh, no!" said Legolas swallowing the last piece of Gimli's axe "We were just having a snack."

"Frodo! My dear lad it's been a while."

"Hey guys it's been a while since I last saw you."

"Indeed. But I'm glad to see you again."

"As am I."

"And how is you're uncle doing?"

"FOR THE LAST TIME, HE IS NOT MY UNCLE!"

"Hey! Watch you're tongue you little rascal or you will taste my axe." Frodo smiled.

"Legolas has already eaten it, remember." Gimli turned his gaze to the Elf.

"You have finished eating eat already?"

"I couldn't resist, it was so tasty."

"You are such a glutton."

"Am not."

"Are too."

"Am not."

"Are too."

"Am Not. Am Not. Am Not. Am Not. Am Not. Am Not."

"Are too. Are too. Are too. Are too. Are too. Are too."

"Stop it you too or I'll hex you to oblivion." Legolas and Gimli immediately stopped fighting, they knew Gandalf very well and they knew he was not joking.

The wizard took a little silver key out of his pocket and opened the door. He entered his cabin and the other ones followed him.

The tiny owl called Pig was locked in a cage right in the middle of the room looking harmlessly at them. But she didn't deceived anyone with that innocent look because they were aware of her bad-tempered behaviour when she was mad.

Gandalf explained to the Dwarf and the Elf his plan of turning Pig into a Portkey that would take them to Minas Tirith and they all thought he had gone mad but they said nothing. Gandalf could be even worse than Pig when he was angry.

All the eyes were fixed upon the Owl and Gandalf prepared to open the cage. It was not going to be easy but it had to be done. Aragorn had summoned them and it was their duty to serve him. After all they had sworn him allegiance.

A/N: Please read and review it will mean a lot to me :)

Till my next chapter,

cris.carla