oOo

The knock was quiet, so quiet he almost didn't hear it, groggy with interrupted sleep as he was. Just as he decided he'd imagined it, it came again, a tap on the door that nearly faded into the usual TARDIS background noises. "Coming," he called, struggling to his feet, slipping on a dressing-gown over his pyjamas. He staggered for the first few steps, his stride steadying as he came more fully awake.

He opened the door to find Tegan just turning away. She looked back at the sound of the door opening, her expression struggling between apologetic and embarrassed. "Tegan? Are you all right?"

She ducked her head, embarrassment winning out for the moment. "I'm sorry I woke you, I'm fine, really, it's just..." Her voice trailed off and she clutched her own dressing-gown tighter around her as she finally allowed herself to meet his gaze. "I've rethought my position on sleeping draughts."

"Come in, I've just the thing," the Doctor replied, stepping aside gallantly to allow her past him. She looked nervous for some reason, and he realized with a start that she'd never been in his personal rooms before. Certainly not in the middle of the night. "It's a bit of a mess, you'll have to excuse me," he said lightly, trying to ease the sudden tension. "I wasn't expecting company."

That was the wrong thing to stay; he saw her shoulders stiffen, and she turned back for the door, pushing blindly past him. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be a bother, I'll be fine," she mumbled, but he caught her by the shoulder and pulled her gently to a stop.

"Don't mind me, I'm not at my best at the moment," he said to the back of her head. She stood docile in his hold but refused to look at him. "Tegan, please, it's no bother. I want to help."

She looked up at him suddenly, and his breath caught in his throat, stopping whatever he had been about to say in its tracks. Her eyes were desperately sad, her mouth tight with restrained emotions, and suddenly it was too much for him to bear. He ducked his head down, kissing her, pulling her closer, knowing it might be a mistake but suddenly convinced it wasn't. She was terrified at the thought of losing her self again, and he had to show her that it wasn't going to happen. He wouldn't allow it.

She was rigid in his hold for the first few seconds, then he felt her relax against him as she kissed him back, her mouth as full of desperation as her eyes had been, desperation given form and expression as she parted her lips beneath his and gasped with the sudden flush of desire. Her hands moved up his back as she pulled him into her embrace, pressing her body against his in a way that he knew she could feel the physical manifestation of his own desire, the sudden flare of warmth that ignited them both in a way neither had planned for or expected.

He swept her up into his arms without another word, kicking the door shut behind them as he carried her to his bed, still warm from his earlier occupation. He laid her gently on the sheets, then joined her, shrugging out of his dressing-gown, pulling his shirt over his head as she divested herself of her own clothing, tossing them carelessly to the floor where they joined his in an untidy pile.

His last coherent thought was that he'd made the right choice.

oooOooo

"Oi! Doctor! Don't leave me hanging there!" Ace's protesting tones brought the Doctor back to the present with a start. "She came for a sleeping draught and then what?"

The Doctor smiled reminiscently; he'd stopped speaking well before what Ace would consider the "juicy bits". "I helped her get a good night's sleep."

Ace gave him a sly smile. "Right. A bit of vigorous physical exercise can do the trick sometimes, eh?" The smile morphed into false innocence. "Or so I've heard."

He "harumphed" indignantly. "If you're asking if that was the beginning of our physical relationship, that would fall under the heading of 'none of your business'."

"Fine, I have an imagination, and you were kind of dishy as a blonde," Ace said breezily, ignoring his red-faced expression. "So that was the beginning; it went on for a bit, didn't it? More than just that one night. What changed about her that she decided to leave you? She never got Damsel-in-Distressy on you, did she?"

The Doctor shook his head. "No, unlike Sarah Jane, Tegan managed to keep her independence the entire time we knew each other. I'd made that mistake once, and was determined not to make it again. No, there were a lot of other factors that led to her ultimate decision to leave, including the fact that I essentially abandoned her in Heathrow after a spat."

"A spat." Ace's voice was disbelieving.

He nodded. "Yes, a spat." A spat over his handling of Adric's death, another item he did not intend to share with Ace. "She'd been going on about wanting to go home, so when we made it to Earth, exactly where she was supposed to be before getting caught up in my latest adventure, I left her there. Nyssa was a bit put out with me, but she wasn't gone for long. Just long enough to run into another old enemy of mine, Omega." She had a knack for that, for being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

"I'm sure that sat well with her," Ace commented drily.

"Yes, she wasn't exactly happy about that, but she did make it clear that she intended to rejoin us. In fact, she rather acted as if nothing had happened, at least in front of Nyssa, but I knew was in for it once she had me in private."

He'd braced himself for that confrontation, knowing he bloody well deserved whatever she intended to dish out. He knew that he'd overreacted to her anger at Adric's death, obstinately taking her emotions at face value instead of recognizing the guilt and pain her anger really reflected. It wasn't just a spat, either; his own emotions had gotten in the way as well, his own guilt at how Adric had died and his inability to bear the thought of facing the same sort of situation with Tegan.

Pushing her away had seemed like the only way to keep her safe; if she'd stayed that way, safe on Earth, he would most likely have found some way to push Nyssa away as well, so it was just as well that Omega had popped up when and where he did. In light of these realizations, he was ready to face the music, but Tegan surprised them both by letting it go, at least as much as she ever let anything go. Instead of lashing out at him, she'd told him quite firmly that when it was time for her to leave the TARDIS it needed to be her decision, thank you very much, and then she'd hurtled herself into his arms for a most satisfactory kiss.

They'd never once spoken of the future, at least not in the personal sense. They both knew that their relationship could never last, but they were both determined to make the best of it for however long they did have. Especially after having been apart, no matter how short a time it had been.

Then the Mara struck again.