Wipe Away the Tears- Chpt 3
Author: Moon Gazer
Rating: R
Warnings and Comments: Warnings and Comments: This story is a bit darker than my normal works, and involves vampires, murder, death, ect. Also, I admit, I have taken some/most of the rules of vampire/werewolf lore and twisted them to my own needs. This story is in no way a good reference to use for your own stories. Thanks to all the people who read this over for me, including my friends, and a few of my teachers. Blessed be!
Severus paused at the doorway of the dim room. Narrowing his eyes slightly, he could make out the vague outline of a person in a chair near the fire, a book in their lap. As he watched, one hand came up to tug at their braid, readjusting it over their shoulder. The hand stilled on it's way back down to the arm of the chair, and the body shifted slightly, aware of his presence. Leaning forward, a face, Serenite's, came into view. She didn't look surprised at his presence, but merely leaned back into the chair, motioning him into the room.
"Hullo Severus."
" Good evening Serenite. Where were you at dinner?"
She shrugged as he sat down.
"Wasn't hungry. Didn't feel like being social."
"Hm." He rested his elbows on the arms of his chair, bringing his fingers together under his chin, "Or last night apparently. Or the night before that. What's bothering you?"
She shrugged once again. Her face wore a tired expression, though she kept pulling at her braid in an agitated manner. Severus frowned.
" That's not an answer."
She looked up at him, and his eyes narrowed slightly in concern. While her face tended to give the impression of fine bones, it looked downright gaunt. Her eyes, which had just a few weeks ago, danced with humor and no small amount of mischief, were looking tired and far away. Her whole air seemed to be one of someone with a weight upon his or her shoulders.
" Serenite?"
" I'm just...tired, Sev. It happens every now and then."
"Every now and then?"
She nodded.
"And how long does this last?"
She gave a small wave of her hand, dismissing any concern that he might try to express.
" A week at the most."
His head tilted slightly, causing his hair to obscure part of his face.
" Why?"
She closed the book that lay unread on her lap and stared at its cover for a few minutes before answering.
"I don't know. Maybe I push myself too hard, or expect too much of myself. Maybe it's got something to do with being part elf, or perhaps being bondless is having an effect on me. Maybe my inner karma is out of whack. Or maybe I'm just having an early case of cabin fever. Who knows?"
Her voice grew from a quiet seriousness at the beginning of her outburst, to annoyed sarcasm by the end of it. Severus raised an eyebrow at the bitterness in her tone. It wasn't like her to take such a negative view of things. That was his department, really. He felt almost affronted at having his attitudes borrowed without his permission.
"Snapping at me won't help."
She sighed and stood, dropping the book into her chair, before pacing to a nearby window.
" I don't know Sev. Something just feels off. Nothing is going the way it's supposed to, and for the first time in a long while, I have no idea what to do. I wish there was some way I could leave for a week or so and just forget all my thoughts, but that's not possible right now. I couldn't ask Albus to find a teacher on such short notice just because I decide to have a temper tantrum."
Severus watched her from his seat for a moment, before replying.
" Perhaps it is your bond, or lack thereof. You did say that the All Father told you that you would bond for a second time, correct?"
She nodded.
" You're probably suffering side effects from not having a bond when you should then."
She looked at him, a questioning and vaguely desperate expression on her face. Severus was reminded of an animal at bay for some reason, but quickly dismissed the thought, as it seemed incongruous with Serenite.
" But why should I be rebonding? No one ever rebonds. You know that! Why should I? What difference could it possibly make?"
It was now Sev's turn to shrug.
" I have no idea, really. I've learned through years of working for Albus that sometimes it's better to just not ask. Bitch about it ever step of the way, but just.... don't ask."
She laughed softly, before turning to look out the window.
"It's nearly a full moon." She commented.
Severus raised an eyebrow, silently commenting at her completely unrelated statement. She glanced back over her shoulder and smiled at his expression, before looking back out.
" I don't quite know what I meant."
Severus smirked.
" I do."
" Oh? What then?" She asked, not bothering to turn back to face him.
" Lupin."
She turned sharply at this, shock apparent on her face. His smirk only widened. She met his eyes for a moment, before turning away in defeat.
" Well?" he asked.
"Well what?"
"What's holding you back?"
" I don't really know."
Severus stood and walked over to where she was. Stopping behind her, he paused for a moment, before gingerly wrapping his arms about her waist and resting his head on her shoulder. Gently, he reached out to her mind with his own, probing around the edges to find the answer he was looking for.
" Jared was a wonderful person, Sere, but he wouldn't want you to pine away over his ghost."
She sighed in frustration, relaxing into his comforting hug.
" I know that Sev, and you know that, but that doesn't make it any easier."
Severus grinned.
"Easy? Who said anything about easy? When have I ever promised you that something would be easy? It'll be damn hard work, and mostly damned unpleasant at that, but it has to be done. If it's any consolation, I'm here to talk to."
She smiled softly herself.
" I just wish I didn't have to have been the one to do it, Sev. The nightmares stopped after a few months, but every time I had them, I could see his face when I...he looked so hurt at first, but at the last moment, he had this look in his eyes. He understood what I had done and why and he forgave me for it."
" If you're forgiven, then why are you letting it haunt you?"
"That's just it Sev, I don't feel like I should be forgiven for that. I was the one person he could trust, the one person who would never betray him, and suddenly, I was the person who killed him..." she stopped as her voice cracked. Severus couldn't see her face, but he was willing to bet she was on the verge of tears. Sighing, he straightened up and turned her around to face him. Placing one hand on her shoulder, he used the other to lift her chin until her eyes met his.
"Serenite, you listen to me, because I will only say this once. You are a wonderful person, and you have a lot to offer. You can't let self-hatred get the better of you. Look at Voldemorte and what it did to him. What it nearly did to me. You're one of the few real friends I have, and I can't stand by and watch you self destruct like that, do you understand?"
She nodded brusquely and he sighed, before pulling her head to his chest and cradling it there. He could feel her shaking slightly, and moved his other hand from her shoulder to her back, making small comforting circles to calm her. After standing there a while, they had both lost track of the time, she sniffled.
" Thanks Sev. You're my best friend, you know that right?"
" Of course I do, Sere."
She nodded, her head still against his chest.
" Of course Sere, you do realize, best friend or not, if anyone, and I mean anyone in this school finds out that I'm not always the snarky bastard that they think me to be, I'll have to kill you. Slowly. And then gut you with a spoon."
She half laughed, half sobbed.
"Of course, Sev, of course."
" Now, about finding a new vampire to bond with. Who have you contacted?"
She pulled back and he released his hold on her.
"No one. Is there some agency or other I should be looking up?" She replied, a glimmer of humor showing in her eyes.
" As a matter of fact, yes." He said, amusement also showing in his eyes.
" And they would be?"
" SSLBB" he promptly replied.
She blinked.
"SSLBB?"
" Short for Severus Snapes Little Black Book."
She laughed and shook her head.
"You are impossible. You know that, right?"
" Yes. I pride myself on it." He waved his hand and a small book appeared in it. Serenite peered at it for a moment, before snorting in amusement.
"Sev, that's green, not black."
Severus shrugged.
"Black book has a better ring to it. Now, let's get started."
" Now?"
" No Serenite, we're waiting for the Apocalypse.... yes now!"
She held up a hand as if to ward off his sarcasm before making her way back to her chair. Severus followed, taking his seat from earlier. Opening up the book, he cleared his throat.
"Aaron."
" Too far away."
"Andrew."
"Too perky."
Severus raised an eyebrow.
" Look Sev, optimism is one thing. Perkiness is simply refusing to admit that it's going to hurt when the train hits you."
"Anthony."
"Anthony? He's still alive? That arrogant puffball! Who changed him?"
"Felix did."
"Felix, Felix.... that old coot who speaks in all limericks?"
"That'd be him. Speaking of Felix..."
Serenite shot him a venomous glare.
"All right, scratch Felix... Balthezar?"
"Messy eater, if you catch my drift."
"Hm, didn't know that."
* * Two hours later * *
"Xavier."
"On a permanent ego trip, date of return unknown."
"Zechariah."
"Severus, he's scarcely a child!"
"Hm, yes, forgot you don't care for younger bonds. Why is that?"
She shrugged.
"They're just...annoying when they're that young."
Severus raised an eyebrow.
"I don't recall you saying anything like that about Jared or I."
"You and Jared were, and in your case are second generation vampires. You'll never be young to me. Both of you were well in control of yourselves by the time we met."
"So you're calling me old?"
"No, just decrepit. Shall we continue?"
Severus glared at her, as she smirked back at him. Breaking eye contact, he looked back down at the book.
"Well, there's only one name left... Zieket."
"Who?"
" Zieket...er... never mind. I would never forgive myself if I let you bond with him."
"Why's that?"
"He's just....crazy. The bad kind."
"Ah...so, that leaves us where we started then, doesn't it?"
"Hm."
"What?"
Severus ignored her question, deep in his own thoughts. Intrigued, Serenite leaned forward, resting her elbow on her knee and her head on her hand. The contemplating look in his eyes caught her attention, and she raised an eyebrow in unspoken question. After a moment, Severus looked up, meeting her gaze. They stared at each other for a moment, before he purposely mimicked her expression, causing her to smile. She sat back, waiting for him to speak.
"There is one more person whom we could consider." He began slowly. His slightly hesitant manner caused Serenite to frown. It wasn't like him to be so unsure.
"Well?"
"Me."
Serenite looked at him for a moment, before giggling and softly hitting her palm to her forehead.
"Of course! Why didn't we think of that in the first place?"
Severus shrugged.
"Because we're us."
She nodded before speaking.
"It does seem like a good match, doesn't it? We're close, we know each other, we can put up with each other.... most of the time" she added, noting his expression.
"Exactly my point."
She stared at the arm of her chair for a moment, biting gently on her lower lip, before looking up at him and holding out her wrist. He shook his head, and she pulled it back, confused.
"What?"
" We'll do it properly, with a bonding ceremony and witnesses. It will be safer for us both if our bond is common knowledge."
Serenite raised an eyebrow.
"Safer?"
" Yes. For you, because once the word is out, anyone who might want to hurt you will know they have me to deal with, and for me, because nothing can happen to me without someone else knowing."
She frowned.
"But wouldn't we already have that link with a regular bond?"
" Yes, but the ceremony would make it stronger. It's a cross between a wizard bonding and a vampire bonding," Severus explained, before laughing at her puzzled expression, "Jared certainly kept you isolated, didn't he?"
She sent a mock glare in his direction.
" No, I understand what you're saying. I just don't understand why I didn't have a bond like the one you're describing with Jared."
"Well, it makes sense, once you think about it. You and Jared had little need for caution when you bonded, whereas you and I do. It would work more to our advantage if we could be more aware of each other."
"Uh...huh."
" Don't give me that dumbfounded stare, you understand me perfectly. Playing dumb doesn't suit you. First things first, we'll have to get preparations underway as soon as possible."
"Sev.... what exactly do we need?"
He stared off into the air, a contemplating expression on his face.
"Well, robes for a start...protection rings..."
"Protection rings?"
"They get cold when one of the wearers is in danger, very handy....let's see, witness's, food, partridge in a pear tree..."
" A what?" Serenite exclaimed in a disbelieving tone. She stared at Sev for a moment, before noticing the slight twitch at the corner of his mouth.
"You are joking, aren't you?"
He chuckled and stood.
"Sev..."
Without a word, he turned and walked to the door.
"Severus, you're joking, right? A pear tree?"
With a final smirk over his shoulder, he closed the door behind him and walked down the hall. A few seconds later, he heard the sound of a door opening, followed by Serenite's voice.
"Severus Snape, you had better be joking!"
Author: Moon Gazer
Rating: R
Warnings and Comments: Warnings and Comments: This story is a bit darker than my normal works, and involves vampires, murder, death, ect. Also, I admit, I have taken some/most of the rules of vampire/werewolf lore and twisted them to my own needs. This story is in no way a good reference to use for your own stories. Thanks to all the people who read this over for me, including my friends, and a few of my teachers. Blessed be!
Severus paused at the doorway of the dim room. Narrowing his eyes slightly, he could make out the vague outline of a person in a chair near the fire, a book in their lap. As he watched, one hand came up to tug at their braid, readjusting it over their shoulder. The hand stilled on it's way back down to the arm of the chair, and the body shifted slightly, aware of his presence. Leaning forward, a face, Serenite's, came into view. She didn't look surprised at his presence, but merely leaned back into the chair, motioning him into the room.
"Hullo Severus."
" Good evening Serenite. Where were you at dinner?"
She shrugged as he sat down.
"Wasn't hungry. Didn't feel like being social."
"Hm." He rested his elbows on the arms of his chair, bringing his fingers together under his chin, "Or last night apparently. Or the night before that. What's bothering you?"
She shrugged once again. Her face wore a tired expression, though she kept pulling at her braid in an agitated manner. Severus frowned.
" That's not an answer."
She looked up at him, and his eyes narrowed slightly in concern. While her face tended to give the impression of fine bones, it looked downright gaunt. Her eyes, which had just a few weeks ago, danced with humor and no small amount of mischief, were looking tired and far away. Her whole air seemed to be one of someone with a weight upon his or her shoulders.
" Serenite?"
" I'm just...tired, Sev. It happens every now and then."
"Every now and then?"
She nodded.
"And how long does this last?"
She gave a small wave of her hand, dismissing any concern that he might try to express.
" A week at the most."
His head tilted slightly, causing his hair to obscure part of his face.
" Why?"
She closed the book that lay unread on her lap and stared at its cover for a few minutes before answering.
"I don't know. Maybe I push myself too hard, or expect too much of myself. Maybe it's got something to do with being part elf, or perhaps being bondless is having an effect on me. Maybe my inner karma is out of whack. Or maybe I'm just having an early case of cabin fever. Who knows?"
Her voice grew from a quiet seriousness at the beginning of her outburst, to annoyed sarcasm by the end of it. Severus raised an eyebrow at the bitterness in her tone. It wasn't like her to take such a negative view of things. That was his department, really. He felt almost affronted at having his attitudes borrowed without his permission.
"Snapping at me won't help."
She sighed and stood, dropping the book into her chair, before pacing to a nearby window.
" I don't know Sev. Something just feels off. Nothing is going the way it's supposed to, and for the first time in a long while, I have no idea what to do. I wish there was some way I could leave for a week or so and just forget all my thoughts, but that's not possible right now. I couldn't ask Albus to find a teacher on such short notice just because I decide to have a temper tantrum."
Severus watched her from his seat for a moment, before replying.
" Perhaps it is your bond, or lack thereof. You did say that the All Father told you that you would bond for a second time, correct?"
She nodded.
" You're probably suffering side effects from not having a bond when you should then."
She looked at him, a questioning and vaguely desperate expression on her face. Severus was reminded of an animal at bay for some reason, but quickly dismissed the thought, as it seemed incongruous with Serenite.
" But why should I be rebonding? No one ever rebonds. You know that! Why should I? What difference could it possibly make?"
It was now Sev's turn to shrug.
" I have no idea, really. I've learned through years of working for Albus that sometimes it's better to just not ask. Bitch about it ever step of the way, but just.... don't ask."
She laughed softly, before turning to look out the window.
"It's nearly a full moon." She commented.
Severus raised an eyebrow, silently commenting at her completely unrelated statement. She glanced back over her shoulder and smiled at his expression, before looking back out.
" I don't quite know what I meant."
Severus smirked.
" I do."
" Oh? What then?" She asked, not bothering to turn back to face him.
" Lupin."
She turned sharply at this, shock apparent on her face. His smirk only widened. She met his eyes for a moment, before turning away in defeat.
" Well?" he asked.
"Well what?"
"What's holding you back?"
" I don't really know."
Severus stood and walked over to where she was. Stopping behind her, he paused for a moment, before gingerly wrapping his arms about her waist and resting his head on her shoulder. Gently, he reached out to her mind with his own, probing around the edges to find the answer he was looking for.
" Jared was a wonderful person, Sere, but he wouldn't want you to pine away over his ghost."
She sighed in frustration, relaxing into his comforting hug.
" I know that Sev, and you know that, but that doesn't make it any easier."
Severus grinned.
"Easy? Who said anything about easy? When have I ever promised you that something would be easy? It'll be damn hard work, and mostly damned unpleasant at that, but it has to be done. If it's any consolation, I'm here to talk to."
She smiled softly herself.
" I just wish I didn't have to have been the one to do it, Sev. The nightmares stopped after a few months, but every time I had them, I could see his face when I...he looked so hurt at first, but at the last moment, he had this look in his eyes. He understood what I had done and why and he forgave me for it."
" If you're forgiven, then why are you letting it haunt you?"
"That's just it Sev, I don't feel like I should be forgiven for that. I was the one person he could trust, the one person who would never betray him, and suddenly, I was the person who killed him..." she stopped as her voice cracked. Severus couldn't see her face, but he was willing to bet she was on the verge of tears. Sighing, he straightened up and turned her around to face him. Placing one hand on her shoulder, he used the other to lift her chin until her eyes met his.
"Serenite, you listen to me, because I will only say this once. You are a wonderful person, and you have a lot to offer. You can't let self-hatred get the better of you. Look at Voldemorte and what it did to him. What it nearly did to me. You're one of the few real friends I have, and I can't stand by and watch you self destruct like that, do you understand?"
She nodded brusquely and he sighed, before pulling her head to his chest and cradling it there. He could feel her shaking slightly, and moved his other hand from her shoulder to her back, making small comforting circles to calm her. After standing there a while, they had both lost track of the time, she sniffled.
" Thanks Sev. You're my best friend, you know that right?"
" Of course I do, Sere."
She nodded, her head still against his chest.
" Of course Sere, you do realize, best friend or not, if anyone, and I mean anyone in this school finds out that I'm not always the snarky bastard that they think me to be, I'll have to kill you. Slowly. And then gut you with a spoon."
She half laughed, half sobbed.
"Of course, Sev, of course."
" Now, about finding a new vampire to bond with. Who have you contacted?"
She pulled back and he released his hold on her.
"No one. Is there some agency or other I should be looking up?" She replied, a glimmer of humor showing in her eyes.
" As a matter of fact, yes." He said, amusement also showing in his eyes.
" And they would be?"
" SSLBB" he promptly replied.
She blinked.
"SSLBB?"
" Short for Severus Snapes Little Black Book."
She laughed and shook her head.
"You are impossible. You know that, right?"
" Yes. I pride myself on it." He waved his hand and a small book appeared in it. Serenite peered at it for a moment, before snorting in amusement.
"Sev, that's green, not black."
Severus shrugged.
"Black book has a better ring to it. Now, let's get started."
" Now?"
" No Serenite, we're waiting for the Apocalypse.... yes now!"
She held up a hand as if to ward off his sarcasm before making her way back to her chair. Severus followed, taking his seat from earlier. Opening up the book, he cleared his throat.
"Aaron."
" Too far away."
"Andrew."
"Too perky."
Severus raised an eyebrow.
" Look Sev, optimism is one thing. Perkiness is simply refusing to admit that it's going to hurt when the train hits you."
"Anthony."
"Anthony? He's still alive? That arrogant puffball! Who changed him?"
"Felix did."
"Felix, Felix.... that old coot who speaks in all limericks?"
"That'd be him. Speaking of Felix..."
Serenite shot him a venomous glare.
"All right, scratch Felix... Balthezar?"
"Messy eater, if you catch my drift."
"Hm, didn't know that."
* * Two hours later * *
"Xavier."
"On a permanent ego trip, date of return unknown."
"Zechariah."
"Severus, he's scarcely a child!"
"Hm, yes, forgot you don't care for younger bonds. Why is that?"
She shrugged.
"They're just...annoying when they're that young."
Severus raised an eyebrow.
"I don't recall you saying anything like that about Jared or I."
"You and Jared were, and in your case are second generation vampires. You'll never be young to me. Both of you were well in control of yourselves by the time we met."
"So you're calling me old?"
"No, just decrepit. Shall we continue?"
Severus glared at her, as she smirked back at him. Breaking eye contact, he looked back down at the book.
"Well, there's only one name left... Zieket."
"Who?"
" Zieket...er... never mind. I would never forgive myself if I let you bond with him."
"Why's that?"
"He's just....crazy. The bad kind."
"Ah...so, that leaves us where we started then, doesn't it?"
"Hm."
"What?"
Severus ignored her question, deep in his own thoughts. Intrigued, Serenite leaned forward, resting her elbow on her knee and her head on her hand. The contemplating look in his eyes caught her attention, and she raised an eyebrow in unspoken question. After a moment, Severus looked up, meeting her gaze. They stared at each other for a moment, before he purposely mimicked her expression, causing her to smile. She sat back, waiting for him to speak.
"There is one more person whom we could consider." He began slowly. His slightly hesitant manner caused Serenite to frown. It wasn't like him to be so unsure.
"Well?"
"Me."
Serenite looked at him for a moment, before giggling and softly hitting her palm to her forehead.
"Of course! Why didn't we think of that in the first place?"
Severus shrugged.
"Because we're us."
She nodded before speaking.
"It does seem like a good match, doesn't it? We're close, we know each other, we can put up with each other.... most of the time" she added, noting his expression.
"Exactly my point."
She stared at the arm of her chair for a moment, biting gently on her lower lip, before looking up at him and holding out her wrist. He shook his head, and she pulled it back, confused.
"What?"
" We'll do it properly, with a bonding ceremony and witnesses. It will be safer for us both if our bond is common knowledge."
Serenite raised an eyebrow.
"Safer?"
" Yes. For you, because once the word is out, anyone who might want to hurt you will know they have me to deal with, and for me, because nothing can happen to me without someone else knowing."
She frowned.
"But wouldn't we already have that link with a regular bond?"
" Yes, but the ceremony would make it stronger. It's a cross between a wizard bonding and a vampire bonding," Severus explained, before laughing at her puzzled expression, "Jared certainly kept you isolated, didn't he?"
She sent a mock glare in his direction.
" No, I understand what you're saying. I just don't understand why I didn't have a bond like the one you're describing with Jared."
"Well, it makes sense, once you think about it. You and Jared had little need for caution when you bonded, whereas you and I do. It would work more to our advantage if we could be more aware of each other."
"Uh...huh."
" Don't give me that dumbfounded stare, you understand me perfectly. Playing dumb doesn't suit you. First things first, we'll have to get preparations underway as soon as possible."
"Sev.... what exactly do we need?"
He stared off into the air, a contemplating expression on his face.
"Well, robes for a start...protection rings..."
"Protection rings?"
"They get cold when one of the wearers is in danger, very handy....let's see, witness's, food, partridge in a pear tree..."
" A what?" Serenite exclaimed in a disbelieving tone. She stared at Sev for a moment, before noticing the slight twitch at the corner of his mouth.
"You are joking, aren't you?"
He chuckled and stood.
"Sev..."
Without a word, he turned and walked to the door.
"Severus, you're joking, right? A pear tree?"
With a final smirk over his shoulder, he closed the door behind him and walked down the hall. A few seconds later, he heard the sound of a door opening, followed by Serenite's voice.
"Severus Snape, you had better be joking!"