I hope everyone is enjoying the story so far. Blah blah blah, stuff like that. No need to waste time!

Later on in this chapter, I make a reference to the Minister of Magic. Currently I am too tired to look up who it might have been, so I'm pretending it was Fudge.

PS - no more scary slash. This chapter is safe.

James attended Transfiguration for the first time in two weeks, and the day he decided to go back, a messenger came to class with a letter for him.

The class filed in, and McGonagall started up with her usual half-hour lecture before she gave them all partners and let them all get to work. Lily was, of course, paired with James, because she was absolutely wretched at Transfiguration and James was, of course, the best. It was about as close of a completely opposite situation as their Charms situation as opposite could get.

Lily fought silently with herself. A part of her wanted to tell James that she liked him and she wanted to be there for him, and the other part of her watched Sirius watching her carefully and wanted to obey his orders. But the biggest part of her wanted to pass the class, so she complied with McGonagall's pairing system, trying all the while to obey Sirius' orders of "don't get too close to him, or I'll bite your fingers off" and attempting to obey her urge to try to help him out.

No one noticed when the messenger came into the room and handed McGonagall the note. She opened it and read it silently. As soon as she finished, her grey eyes flicked up to James Potter, who was trying half-heartedly to help Lily learn the spell. She knew he was already distracted enough by his parents' deaths, and she could tell that he wasn't getting by very well. Hell, everyone could tell that he wasn't getting by very well. At all. Her eyes flicked back down to the letter. She shouldn't have read it, because now she was going to feel incredibly guilty putting such an immense burden on him by giving it to him. But it wasn't her place to keep the letter from him.

"Black!" she shouted. Sirius looked up, confused. For once, he hadn't done anything. "Front of the room, now please." The rest of the class giggled, then went back to work.

Sirius trudged up to her desk. "I didn't do it," he said immediately, holding out his hands, palms up. "Honestly."

She sighed and looked at him gravely. Her expression was so fully of compassion that he was slightly in awe and slightly very disturbed. "I know you didn't. And I know I shouldn't do this. It's against regulation. Technically this doesn't belong to you but … you were just as close to them and … well, I don't think James will readily talk about it, so I think you should see it first."

Sirius blanched at the mention of James. He took the parchment she was holding out to him and read it once, then again, slowly. His face was so white that Minerva had felt grief letting even Sirius read it. It seemed to take forever for Sirius to look up and meet her eyes. When he did, he wasn't even sure what to say. His immediate reaction was that James was going to kill himself. He was almost entirely sure of it.

"Who's going to give it to him?" Sirius asked feebly. He had never felt weaker in his entire life.

"I don't know. You're like a brother to him, I thought you would have a suggestion."

Sirius folded up the paper and stuffed it in his back pocket. Minerva nodded resolutely and Sirius set his lips in a firm, determined line much like the one Professor McGonagall wore on most days.

Sirius waited until the class was over; waited for everyone to file out, nodded to Minerva and watched her disappear into her office, all while holding James back. He suggested they go up to the Head dorms, and James really had no reason to object. Once there, he made James sit down and conjured up a cup of tea. He then carefully slipped his hand into his back pocket and produced the letter. He sat down on the couch next to James, preparing for the worst.

Dear James Potter –

We at the Ministry of Magic are terribly sorry to inform you that early this morning, the Dark Mark was discovered over the houses of your remaining relatives. There were unfortunately no survivors.

Their belongings and savings are being sent to your vault at Gringotts today.

Please remain strong. We are doing everything we can here at the Ministry to stop the Dark Lord.

Sincerely,

Cornelius Fudge

Minister of Magic

Sirius thought James would faint. He was white. So white. Almost translucent. Sirius wondered if maybe he shouldn't have given him the letter.

James sat on the couch for a long time, staring into the fire, his face completely expressionless. Sirius moved over and pulled James into a tight embrace, and James buried his face in Sirius' neck, trying desperately not to cry. He couldn't – not now. He was still in shock, but Sirius was determined to be there for him.

It was easily half past eleven when the Gryffindor common room finally cleared out, save for Sirius and Remus, who had been occupying chairs opposite each other in front of the fire. When everyone had left, they joined on the couch and their hands found each other's, their fingers intertwined. Sirius looked lovingly at Remus, but Remus only returned the expression for a moment, and then it changed to his 'let's get down to business' look.

Sirius sighed. Because he really had no idea how to express his feelings. Remus was always the easiest person to talk to, next to James, but he didn't even know where to start. Luckily, Remus was there for the both of them, and he was a very intelligent and insightful person. Remus knew and understood that however close he might be to James, and however much they cared about each other and protected one another, he wasn't going to be the one who was able to fix James. That was going to be up to Sirius and Lily. Because he knew that, despite what he had told James earlier, eventually Lily needed to come back into the picture.

"Well, you know James … he's strong … but, well, we've never seen him take a fall like this before."

Sirius nodded. He had already told Remus about the letter.

"He needs someone to lean on, and he knows that he's got that in the both of us, especially you…" Sirius nodded again. Remus continued. "But you know … it can't always be you. You can't be the only one that cares."

"I know." Sirius was … what? Hurt? Exhausted? Worried? All of them? Yes.

"But I think for now, it needs to be you." Remus tried to keep the pain out of his voice.

"I know," Sirius replied, and this time he met Remus' eyes. Sirius knew that Remus didn't want to give him up, but for James he was willing to. Nevertheless, Remus' expression was full of anguish and hurt.

Sirius brought up his empty hand to cup Remus' face. Remus closed his eyes and leaned into the touch. He breathed in the scent of fresh air, mahogany, and Sirius' cologne – the smells of Quidditch always lingered on Sirius' skin, something that Remus delighted in. He pressed his lips eagerly against Sirius' and enjoyed the lingering kiss. When they pulled apart, he looked up at Sirius painfully through his lashes. Sirius kissed him on the nose sadly.

"We've been through so much together," he whispered. "He's helped me get through so much. It wouldn't be fair for me not to do the same. It wouldn't be right.…"

"I know," Remus replied, "I know. Just … don't leave me now?"

"No," he whispered, kissing the sandy-haired boy under the chin. "Not now. Not ever."

"Except …"

"Tomorrow. Just one night. I promise."

"Okay," Remus muttered hoarsely. A lump was forming in his throat, and it didn't help that Sirius was sucking lightly on his neck….

(la ... no more slash. etc.)

James spent the entire day in his room. Sirius, Remus, and the staff were the only ones that knew why, and none of them blamed him. The day dragged by slowly for the Marauder pups, each of them aware of what was going to happen, half dreading it and half anticipating it with quivering hope.

At eleven, when only a few people were left in the common room, Sirius and Remus left through the portrait hole. Remus walked with Sirius about halfway to the Head dorms, helping him find a path clear of teachers under the invisibility cloak. At long last, Sirius turned to Remus and gave him a completely helpless but hopeful smile. They exchanged a soft kiss, and then Sirius bid Remus good night and stealthily made his way to James' dorm.

He knocked on the door softly once, then entered without waiting to be told to go away. James sat in his windowsill looking out over the lake. It was a calm night and the moon was almost full. Sirius winced and erased Remus from his mind. Tonight was about James, and what James needed was something to take his mind away from the pain, if just for a little while.

Sirius examined his best friend; moonlight was spilling over his bare torso, and he had his legs pulled up close to his chest. He didn't shiver, even though it was mid November. Sirius thought that if this was a normal situation, anyone who didn't think that James was incredibly handsome was indeed insane. He quietly approached his friend and placed a hand on his shoulder. His hand was warm on James' frozen skin.

James looked up at his best friend; he knew that Sirius had come for, and secretly, he was glad for it.

Sirius slowly dropped his shirt to the ground and joined James in his cold suffering on the window. What James suffered, Sirius was determined to suffer with him. Even in the most terrible of situations, the two broad, bare torso's of toned and tanned muscles looked indescribably beautiful so close together, bathed in the winter moonlight and shivering slightly.

"Sirius?" James breathed desperately, a puff of air visible before them.

"James…"

A slight shimmer caught Sirius' eye. James was concealing something in his left hand; Sirius thought it suspiciously resembled a razorblade.

He gently laid his hand on James' leg, holding out the other hand expectantly. A best friend peered at Sirius through heavy lids and painful guilt.

"Prongs … James … my Jamesie … you don't want to do that … really."

James sat adamantly still.

"It's not a request, James, it's the truth … and you know it."

Silence. James averted his eyes; Sirius' stare was drilling into his soul.

It hurt.

"You know," Sirius started quietly, "when I came to school here, I never thought I'd make friends with anyone, least of all someone worth knowing …" James was fidgeting, but his ears were open. "It was a bit of a surprise, the way you treated me … I suppose you think it's all great that I live with you now … er, well, did …" James was definitely listening. "I mean, I really don't need to thank you again … and I know you know it means a lot to me but, well … you've helped me get through a lot in the past seven years and … I don't want to lose the chance of doing the same for you … and I rather like having a friend worth knowing …"

Somehow, Sirius thought that James looked oddly relieved. He carefully deposited the razor in Sirius' hand. Sirius chucked it as far as possible. James seemed satisfied.

A long silence settled upon them, like death, evident and hovering. James felt as if he should say something.

"It's not just about getting away from the pain, you know …" Sirius didn't understand how that worked. "Well, I mean, it is but … not always. Sometimes I want to think about them … I want to remember them … but, I just keep imagining them scared and helpless … I can see their faces. I just … I wish they could have died differently, if they had to. All of them were such amazing people …"

"They really were, James … you should be glad you're one of them."

James looked sorrowfully at Sirius. "Are you up for some Firewhiskey?" Sirius considered it. He really did.

"Do you have a secret stash or something?"

"Perhaps …"

"I don't know James … we have a Quidditch match coming up. I don't want to be the one responsible for our defeat, and as Captain, you shouldn't be either …"

"You're being insufferably attentive to the rules tonight."

Sirius was quiet for a moment. Then an entirely evil grin snaked across his face in the shadows. "How about if we pay a visit to a certain greasy prat?"

"Aha, Snivellus. Alright, done."

After a few hours, much plotting, evil cackling, tiptoeing to the Slytherin dorms, dousing the aforementioned Slytherin in long-lasting cooking oil and charming heart-shaped cutouts (James' doing) of Snape's mother (found under his pillow by Sirius) to follow him around for the following day, James and Sirius managed to make their way back to the Head's dorms quietly … and burst out laughing as soon as the door was closed.

They spent the rest of the evening over a bottle of Firewhiskey anyway and finally collapsed on to James' king size (thus a safe size for two un-interested teenage boys to share).

"Sirius," James muttered, sleep clinging to his words.

"Shhhhh." Sirius leaned over and kissed James's forehead softly,watching with a tired but satisfied smile as James fell asleep, completely exhausted but with a faint smile spread across his lips.

Sirius followed suit shortly afterward.