"Hey somebodies! Guess what? It's another Ed, Edd, 'n Eddy e-mail!"
The three Ed-boys sit down around Eddy's old Tandy computer. Eddy
quickly types up "run EEnEmails.exe" But, instead of the usual email
popping up, a large red exclaimation point pops up. "You've got flames."
It read.

"Flames?" Ed asked. "Double-D, why does it say that? That computer is
not on fire! Or is it! Should we get some water? Call the fire department?
Get some marshmallows?"

"No, Ed. Flames in emails are usually mindless insults meant to make
the reviewer feel better and more powerful. It is devoid of any useful
comments or even a decent criticism! I mean, can you even believe that
there are people out there in the world who feel the need to- ARE EITHER
OF YOU LISTENING TO ME!"

They weren't. Duh.

"Well monobrow, whadda you say? Want to fight a flame with flames?"
Eddy asked. 'My brother taught me everything there is to know when it
comes to mindless insults. Guy won't even know what hit 'em!' Eddy
thought. "I'm a good fireman, Captain Eddy!" Ed exclaimed. The
shortest Ed snickered and typed up "bringiton.exe"

The red exclaimation point faded and the screen popped up an e-mail.

Your story is just as good as BLOCKED PHRASE

have fun with it

oh ya

go to BLOCKED

Edd scowled. "Let me handle this one."

Well, educated critic, your review brings up several interesting
and thought-provoking topics to light. After much consideration,
I can see your position. You have changed the way I check emails
forever. My life will never be the same. Thank you.
Eddy pushed Edd aside.
Because I'm sure your anger has nothing to do with the fact that
Stan wrote you an unfavorable though constructive review, I will
answer your email with the same disrespect I treat everyone.


So, insult everyone in the Cul-De-Sac without reason or purpose,
eh, captain stupidface? Good plan! Onwards Eds!

The Eds nimbly pop over a fence, meaning Ed only destroys a portion of
the fence as he plows through it, instead of the whole thing. "Whose
backyard is this?" Edd asks. Surprisingly, Ed comes up with the answer
first. "Hiya Rolf!"

It seemed obvious at this point, with the farm animals and the blue-haired
preteen that were occupying it. Rolf wiped some sweat from his brow and
let the goat he was carrying off his back off his back. "AH, hello Ed-boys!
What sort of tomfoolery are you dicing today?" Rolf asked. Edd clears his
throat. "I am insulting you." "Yeah, and your cow smells funny!" Eddy
adds. "Uhh, I LOVE YOUR CHICKENS!" Ed exclaims

Rolf steams at their words. "YOU DARE PROCLAM YOUR AFFECTION
OF MY CHICKENS WITHOUT BEARING THE SAUSAGE-LINKS OF
UNION!" He shouts.

Rolf pulls his sleeves back and starts stomping toward them. "Sorry,
stretch! Save that for later, we're on a tight schedule!" Eddy shouts as he
runs off. As the trio runs off, Eddy pulls out a list of the kids from the
Cul-De-Sac and a pen. He crosses out "Rolf" from the list.

And so, the Ed-boys did wash upon the land a great plague of bad

puns, poor quips, and pathetic insults. Their tyranny went unopposed

for nearly an entire afternoon. But, as all tyrants do, they fell victim to

their own overconfidence. They dared to face the Three She-Devils of

the Aluminum Cavern. The hunters have becon the hunted. Even

now, they are on the run from those that seek them.

They do not have long.

"Pant! Pant! I told you we shouldn't have insulted the Kankers, Eddy!"
Edd gasped. His voice was punctuated with large breaths as he continued
to run from the large mob behind them. "Now the entire Cul-De-Sac is after
us!" "I don't like Tee-El-See, Eddy!" Ed shouted as he ran.

Eddy was running hard than the both of them, filled with equal parts anger
and fear. "We just gotta get to my house!" The three Eds run into Eddy's
house and start barricading the doors. But as Ed was about to set an
armoire in front of the door, the impossible happened.

"Boing..." He said slowly.

He ran towards Eddy's computer, knowing the perfect way to answer the
email and stop the mob. Ed pulled out the monitor and put himself into the
shot-putters stance.

"A digga..." He said, spinning once.

"A digga..." He said, spinning twice.

"A digga, digga..." He spun one last time.

"DELETED!" Ed then threw the monitor with all the force he could muster.

The tandy exploded, leaving several kids covered in black soot and
microchips. Much to the Ed's delight, the mob scattered. "Good job, lumpy!
You really- WAS THAT MY TANDY!" Eddy shouted. Ed smiled "Yup!
Boing, Eddy! Really!"

Too exhausted to throttle the tall idiot, Eddy simply sat down, muttering,
"My poor tandy..." Edd sat down beside him. "Look on the bright side,
Eddy, we made it out without much damage to our physical state. Sure,
you lost your computer, and there were no Easter Eggs in this, but,
hey, no Kankers!"

"Don't be so sure, little bunnies!"

"Crap..."

(A.N.Moral of the story: Put-downs will get you nowhere. Constructive criticisms are always appreciated, though. Anyway,I hope to crank these out a lot faster now that I've found motivation, but I need some help with formatting. Will anyone help me?)