II
The following morning something hit Gandalf in the face. "Wha- huh?" he groaned. "BACON!" screamed Frodo at Gandalf. "What do you mean? You have bacon ready to eat or you want me to make bacon or is it a good day to make bacon on?" "All of them at once." replied Frodo. Gandalf sat up in the chair he slept in.
"I hear that every time I come back here," he said to Frodo. "Bacon!" he screamed once more. Gandalf looked at him with disgust, stupid blue eyes, stupid fingernails, stupid face, and stupid.
"Tell 'im no, 'e'll leave you alone then." said Sam who had come into the room. "That doesn't answer the question though," whined Gandalf. "Bacon!" "NO!" boomed Gandalf. Frodo looked at him and pranced off. "Thank you." said Gandalf to Sam.
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Later in the day Sam and Frodo went around Hobbiton laughing raucously at the hobbit girls. "Oh! Look at that one! BIG!" said Sam. Only when the girl's fathers ran after them with axes and pitchforks did they understand the dangers involved in being vulgar.
"Crap!" an arrow whizzed by. One of the fathers had a bow! Frodo smashed the Ring onto his fat finger. He then ran a different direction than the way the mob was chasing Sam.
After a few minutes he ran back home. When he got inside he tried to pull the Ring off. He slammed his hand on the wall when he realized it was stuck, which didn't work… "Who the hell is there?" shouted a voice. Damn, that's Gandalf. Thought Frodo. Better have some fun…
Whap! Clatter! Heard Gandalf. "Who the hell is there?" he shouted. A rough pinch bit his arm "DAMN! What's goin' on?" A feminine giggle answered. Frodo! Thought Gandalf furiously. I'll kill him! A moment later Gandalf heard what sounded like a baby getting smacked by a spatula. Frodo musta ran into a door. Gandalf thought.
Whap! Gandalf punched his staff where he thought Frodo was. A groan confirmed this, plus a squirt of blood spurted out of the air. "Owowowow! That hurt Gandalf!" screamed a voice, Frodo's. "Tch… you pinched me." he replied.