V
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Notice: the end of the story has come! This is the last chapter!
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Frodo ran from the room. "Ahhh!" he screamed. "Catch me!" Gandalf picked up his staff. He watched the front yard carefully. He saw the bushes rustle and everything on the lawn fall over and break. Gandalf's eyes widened. "There!" BANG! A huge lightning bolt erupted from the tip of Gandalf's staff. Zzzzzzzt! "Aow!" came a voice from where Gandalf shot his staff.
Smoke was rising from an unknown place atop the grass. Gandalf smiled triumphantly. "Still the hottest staff in Middle Earth," he said to himself. "And the sexiest." Sam stared stupidly. "Wow!" he said. Gandalf raided an eyebrow. Sam jumped back. "Don't 'urt me!" Gandalf laughed evilly.
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'I command you' became a favorite command around Hobbiton for Gandalf. Soon Gandalf was Lord of the Hobbits. He commanded armies, homes, hobbit lives, everything! Gandalf, I am sorry to say, had become a… communist.
"Hah-hah!" laughed Gandalf. "Send in the wretch!" The guards threw a small old man to the marble floor. (Gandalf forced the hobbits to build a great kingdom for him.) " 'Ere… er… Lord, Fibble took one of my chickens… 'E… then shot my dog in the arse with an arrow." with that he brandished a really crappy arrow presumably shot by Fibble the Fat.
"He shot your dog in the ass…with an arrow?" asked Gandalf in an impatient manner. "I mean what the hell, just go kill him." "Really my Lord? Oh thank you, and I will bring 'is 'ead to you personally!" squeaked the little man happily. He scurried out of the palace. Sam leaned forward; he was one of Gandalf's advisors. "You just started a war, my Lord." "I know, but it's not my war is it? Which makes me really cool." Sam leaned back and rolled his eyes.
(O yea! Frodo is probably on you minds now. He was thrown in to a pit of prisoners. Gandalf had pried his Ring off and kept it for himself to look at and admire to no end. Hope that clears something up!)
Gandalf plucked an apple from a wondrous pile of fruit he took from the hobbit's trees every morning as half their tax. Bang-bang. "Holy shit," Gandalf looked at who entered his throne room. "What the hell are you doing here?" Gandalf looked at Aragorn.
"It's time to go."
"But I have a kingdom now!"
"NO! You signed up for this you're doing it!"
"No." said Gandalf turning away with a pouty expression on his face. "Come on, I'll help you release Frodo." It took a few moments for Gandalf to decide what to do. "Alright." he said finally. They went to a grimy pit and opened the cage door. "Get out bitches!" shouted Gandalf. "Move it!" Aragorn yelled.
Out came Frodo. He was dirty and he had soiled himself in the pit. "You look disgusting." pointed out Sam. Frodo said "Poop tastes good." he was only a mite delirious. (He knew this already).
So started the Fellowship of the Ring. After rounding up Frodo's drunken cousins they were off on the journey of a lifetime. Gandalf went to the library and harassed the women there and all returned to normal in Hobbiton.
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I don't want the story to end, but I can't think of anything else. And I want to do a new story. Loyal reviewers, you rock!