VII
………………………………………………………………………………………………
Hello. fanfiction is where I go to when I am happy and fictionpress is where I go to feel dark.
………………………………………………………………………………………………
The hobbits ran about doing chores for Gandalf the Communist. Who will up his system later and become Gandalf the Capitalist. In 5…4…3…2…1. "I am Gandalf the Capitalist! Your profits will go to the cooperation! Hahaha!" The stupid hobbits cheered and loved Gandalf.
"We will become the greatest country in Middle Earth! And definitely the sexiest!" The hobbits cheered and screamed in joy at their leader's words. "Yes, my people! However… we must find Frodo Baggins and Samwise Gamgee."
"GROAR!" the hobbits shouted, "We will find them! Lord Gandalf! Lord Gandalf!" all the hobbits screamed and ran for their pitchforks and hatchets. Gandalf laughed manically.
He yelled to his squad of special ops hobbits. "Find them and kill them, then bring back their heads." The hobbits nodded. They were trained to handle weapons of mass destruction: trolls, orcs, and magical items.
The team ran off. Gandalf plotted his next move. I already have the hobbits loyalty; I just need them to conquer the world now… huh… I am good… A stupid butterfly that landed on Gandalf's face interrupted his thoughts. "Die!" he smacked his face with his hand. Squish. "Ew! I HATE butterflies!" He stormed off with an evil thought: kill all butterflies, but not moths, moths rock! Another stupid object came up to him. Gaffer.
" 'ello! I 'eard you want to kill my kin."
"Yes."
"Well, I was wondering…"
"Yes?"
"Could I kill my kin and get a reward?"
Gandalf looked at Gaffer and said, "Sure." Gandalf thought I am even turning families against themselves! I am going to control Middle Earth.
"Well…er…how much will I get for killing him?"
"You will get 2,000 gold pieces and two tons of apricots."
"O wonderful!"
"Yes, if you have bowel problems."
"And I do!"
Gandalf cringed. "Just go find Sam, okay?" Gaffer ran off like a drunken elder, which is what he was. "Heh." Gandalf was amazed.