Hooray for progress! I actually wrote this because I was frustrated about not being able to write. Don't ask me how that works. Warning for possible OOC-ness, and hints of shonen-ai if you tilt your head and squint. Slight revisions uploaded on December 2, 2007.

Disclaimer: I own neither Yu-Gi-Oh! nor the game "Go Fish." However, I do own a really old book of card games with which flamers will be promptly beaten.

Go Fish

"Do you have any threes?"

"No."

" . . . Well?"

"Well what?"

"You're supposed to say, 'Go fish.' "

Marik suspiciously eyed the white-haired spirit across the table. "Why?"

"Because that's how you play."

"That's stupid." The tanned yami crossed his arms. "And I hate fish."

"For Ra's sake, just do it."

"Hmph. Fine. Go fish." Bakura drew a card as Marik slouched in his chair, studying his hand closely. "Do you have any . . . sevens?"

"Go fish. Got any Jacks?"

"Can't we play a different game?"

"You're the one who was bored."

"I know, but I thought we could do something more . . . interesting." The last word had a suggestive lilt. Bakura snorted, eyes focused squarely on his cards.

"You would. Now about those Jacks—"

"Come on Bakura, it wouldn't take long. Your hikari would never even know."

"Of course he would—it's his body too. And I will not have him complaining to me about injuries I didn't want to get."

"We'd just have to be gentle; that's all." Marik leaned forward beseechingly, his voice soft, and Bakura knew what was coming next. After pleading proved fruitless, Marik would begin to whine. Then his eyes would get uncharacteristically watery, and he would probably try to appeal to the thief's sympathy. When that didn't work, he would throw a fit. For a psychotic bastard, Marik could certainly be childish. "Please Bakura," he pleaded, as a stray might beg for food, "It's been such a long time."

"No."

"But—"

"I said NO!"

" . . . Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease?"

Bakura tried to keep the vein above his eye from twitching. Ra-damn it, this would get old quickly, but he hated giving in to Marik's games; it only proved to him that they worked. On the other hand, Malik's darker half knew how to throw an effective tantrum, and Bakura was NOT in the mood for that. Marik was staring pointedly at him, eyes already glistening with tears that would make a fangirl faint. The thief ignored him, picking instead at a loose thread on his own sleeve.

Actually, that gave him an idea.

"What would you say to a compromise?" Marik blinked, instantly composed.

"What kind of a compromise?"

Bakura leaned across the table to whisper in the Egyptian's ear. A smile spread across Marik's features as Bakura explained the new rules, and he nodded his head in agreement. At last, the ring spirit pulled away. "And remember, no further than the table. I will not sit through one of the Pharaoh's lectures just because you lack restraint."

"Fine." Marik grinned as Bakura returned to his seat. "Shall we begin now?"

"If you wish." The thief allowed himself to smirk back. "Do you have any Jacks?"

"No." Marik grinned wider. "Go fish." He let Bakura draw. "Got any fives?"

"Yes, damn it." Quietly ecstatic, Marik added Bakura's card to the ones in his hand, fanning the set face up on the table.

"Four of a kind. I…think we'll start with the other side this time."

"Hmm." Bakura watched with disinterest as his right arm vanished, leaving his hand floating eerily in mid-air. "Enjoying yourself now?"

"Immensely." By now, Marik strongly resembled a Cheshire cat. "Any eights?"

"Go fish. Jacks?"

"Go fish." This time, there was an unmistakable hint of relish in Marik's voice. Bakura remained nonchalant as he examined his newest card.

"Got what I wanted," he said calmly, holding up the Jack. Marik raised an eyebrow.

"What's the matter, Bakura?" he asked, leaning forward a bit. "I thought you liked Shadow Games too. Aren't you having fun?"

"I expect I will be in a minute. Now . . ." His eyes flashed as he looked up at Marik. "Do you have any sevens?" Marik's grin faded.

"Here," he muttered, relinquishing the three cards.

"Thank you." Bakura spread the cards out slowly, one by one, and settled back with a satisfied smile. "And now," he purred, waving his disembodied hand, "for your turn."

If the thief's mood swing was sudden, Marik barely had time to be puzzled before his tanktop disappeared, leaving a perfectly intact torso behind. Bakura couldn't suppress his own grin as the Egyptian squeaked and nearly fell from his chair. "I see you've been working out," the ring spirit mused, allowing his eyes to linger briefly on the toned chest. "Got someone you want to impress?" Marik looked at him incredulously.

"You didn't say anything about clothes!"

"You didn't say anything against them."

"That's not fair!"

"I think it's perfectly fair." Especially if it teaches you to shut up. Bakura stretched, catlike, and put his feet up on the table. "After all, even if you loose the game, you'll still have your body. And clothes"—the disembodied hand waved again, for emphasis—"areso much easier to replace." Marik crossed his arms as he glared at the thief.

"But I have fewer pieces to spare."

"Then you should avoid loosing."

Marik glowered. "Exactly what did I do to deserve this?"

"You whined, just like you're doing now. Unless you want to walk home nude, I would avoid that too," Bakura advised, smirking at Marik over his cards. "Don't annoy me if you can't accept the consequences, tombkeeper. Now, if you don't mind, I believe it's still my turn . . ."

Marik sank into his seat, still glaring. Resting his elbows on the table, he studied his own hand so intensely that the cards threatened to melt. This was no longer a mere Shadow Game; this was War, and there was no way on Geb's green earth he would let that thief win now.

"Do you have any eights, Marik dear?"

"Ra-fucking-damn it."

In the end, Bakura won anyway.

- fin -

Now that you've read it, please review! My writer's soul is thirsty, and without sustenance I resort to reading badly-written slash fics. (And as this gets me no closer to posting anything, please do us both a favor and click that little purple button.)

FYI, Geb was the husband/brother of the sky goddess Nut, and the ancient Egyptian god of the earth. Well, technically, I guess he was considered to be the earth, but let's not get nitpicky here. :P Ra was the god and embodiment of the sun, and in many cases one of the primary gods...but since this a Yu-Gi-Oh! fanfic I'm assuming ya'll knew that already.