Author: Cyhirae

Notes: Phew..nearly done. Muse is on caffiene today..
Not mine, not mine- Trinity Blood, Alessandro, Caterina, Francesco and dEste are not mine!

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Ascension

There is no further 'discussion' that day...Francesco said I would have no time to speak with Uncle and they plainly meant to make good on that. And their coaching was pure torture...they would tell me the question they knew would be asked at some point- and the other would tell me the answer. They made me repeat it several times per question- and I honestly thought it was never going to end.

The windows grew dark as the questions continued- coming rapid fire and out of order now..They were testing to see if I'd really memorized what questions triggered what answers- and apparently I was starting to not do such a great job of it...

"Alessandro! Haven't you been listening? If you do not get this right, then everything will be for nothing- do you intend to just fall and fail before the council!" Behind him, Caterina watches me cower on the chair without so much as a drop of pity to her gaze...then she picksup the paper before her, calmly reading off the question a second time.

"What is the purpose of the Pope?"

"T..to guide the people and p-protect them under th...the church's wing..."

"How does he guide the people?"

"B..by showing them the proper t-truth of the w..world so they will..will..."

Fracesco gives a snort of disgust, turning away from me in a swirl of fabric. And sitting on that hard, uncomfortable chair, I just want to cry. I know the answers- they've drilled them into me enough..but whenever they ask? I can't give them right. I always forget something, or mess up the wording and...I'm tired, hungry and cold under the chill of Caterina's glare.

Uncle's offer is truly looking tempting. And they can't keep me in this office all night. Maybe things weren't guarenteed peace now- but things were still quiet. What would be so bad about letting that continue? Nothing happened in the last pope's reign to undo his work...why would it happen in uncle's? I make up my mind then- I'm going to go to Uncle as soon as I get out of here- I'm going to say yes.

He's right- this isn't for me. I can't do this. I know I can't do this! But I have to get to uncle and soon...if it gets much later..I won't be able to leave before tomarrow...

"B..brother? S..sister? I..." Both turn their glares fully on me again and I sink down in the chair..saying the first thing that comes to mind. "..I...have to use the bathroom." With no further ado, I'm out of the chair and heading for the bathroom door...Caterina's office has one-all the major ones do. It also has a window. I lean my ear against the door once it's closed, listening to the conversation starting outside...

"...you really think this will work..."

"...has to. We have no one else..."

That gives me a pause. They're actually counting on me to do this? I lean against the door, staring at the window. I could sneak through there easily- from the inside, the security systems aren't Ithat/I hard to work around. They're designed to keep people out, not in after all...I close my eyes and take a deep breath..thinking. Going to Uncle would be easy...but was it right?

"...if he cannot..."

"...He can. We just need to support him..."

They are. They really are counting on me to do this. They're doing their best to make me a good candidate- at least seemingly so...did they really believe in what they were doing that much? I open my eyes and look to the window again- the temptation nearly overwhelming. I can run and be safe-and things will be like they always were...except not. If I run away...

How will it look for them? They picked me for this...and cast their lots on me all the way it seems. If I just run away- they'll be the ones who suffer the humiliation. I..don't really care either way how it may make me look. I've always been easily overlooked and forgotten about- I'm no one of consequence- or at least, I wasn't until yesterday. They were Cardinals. They had publically declared me their candidate.

If I ran away...I could be causing them more trouble than when I simply fail in front of the council. I wipe at my eyes with the sleeves of my robe as a small sob starts to claw it's way out...Uncle had a point too. I'm really..not cut out for this. But..that was a good thing, right? It meant he'd win- I'd fail before the council, Uncle would take the throne, and I wouldn't have humiliated brother and sister by just..running away.

With this grand new plan in mind- I emerge from the bathroom at last- turning my back on the window. This was right, not just abandoning them. They didn't deserve it, so...I would do my best. Then there would be no regrets...

The Following Day

The council chamber was unusually bright today- and crowded. The council sat at their massive table, the only empty seat that of the Pope..the mantle was draped acrossed it with the rod and hat of the office nestled firmly into place...At the end of this session, Uncle would surely be taking his seat there, with the two Cardinals that were his primary supporters placing the marks of office upon his head, about his shoulders and into his hands.

Behind us- an array of guards and those with small duties to perform that gave them a peek into the proceedings...

And in the middle of the chamber, myself and Uncle stood. We are both wearing identical plain white robes- nothing so fancy as the vestments of the Pope, but nothing that would force a clash no matter which of us ascended the position. And all around us- the questions are coming rapid fire. Both ones that my siblings had prepared me for- and others of..a more personal nature. Opinions asked, thoughts discussed...

I'm losing track of it all. My throat is dry, my feet are sore- and the deliberating goes on and on. Uncle stands passively beside me, giving his answers in a calm, even tone of voice...I must surely look like a rambling little child next to him, not even sure if the answers I'm giving are the proper ones to the questions asked. The only time I focuss on anything is when one of those tricky ones comes up...

And then I forge my way through as best I can. Every moment I speak...I'm surer of uncle's victory. That alone makes this tolerable. And still the game of round robin goes on. Thoughts on Albion, thoughts on the Empire, on Methuselah especially, on - well at this point, I don't think I'd be amazed if if someone asked why water was wet and how we felt about the fact it was so.

At last..the two Cardinals who served the deceased pope rise to their feet- nodding to one another.

"We have only one question more..then we shall allow you to rest as we make our desicion." It's over! It's finally over! I've been crying quite a bit these past few days- but this is the first time I want to do so out of pure joy. I was almost free! We only had to answer one last question- then we'd go sit while the council decided uncle was the better choice and then my life was back to normal. "The question we lay before you now is this: What future do you see for the Vatican in this world?"

Uncle clears his throat, leaping on the chance to answer first...and I'm more than happy to let him. He can show them how confident he is- he has an answer ready from the start, better than me. I hadn't expected this, though he clearly had...

"The Vatican will continue to hold against the onslaughts of the world that now exists, and build our people back to the heights they once knew- brick by brick if need be. It will remain strong, the pinnacle of humanity in a world fast forgetting itself under the sway of the Methuselah and the ravages of the Armageddon. We will hold humanity's head up high and stand firm against it all, until all signs of the past are washed away and we have reclaimed our ancestral right in this world."

Several pairs of hands begin applauding...and then all eyes turn to me. Uncle has given his answer..now I need to give mine. But..what to say? I ransack my memory for the things 'discussed' in the office- trying to piece together something...I can't leave until I answer...

"..the..future is not something..that is easy to predict. Right now..." Come on...think...I was doing this for my siblings..I had to make sure I didn't embarrass them too badly in my failure... "Things are not assured. The..vatican will never back down from protecting it's people ...but..that..means knowing when...to change. It's..easy to say...that things will just be the same...but..as things are..." come on, I'd remembered it back in Uncle's chambers.. "Nothing..is safe. The world is changing..and...we..we should be willing to, too. If...if you can't change..then..everything changes without you..and you get ..left behind..."

Silence holds the chamber. No applause, just several long looks as I fall silent...and I opt to quit while I'm already behind...I've said enough to give an answer.

"That's..all."

With a nod, we are dismissed from our places in the council room..and it takes all the effort I can muster not to just flee into the waiting room prepared for me. Uncle is taken to another- I will be alone while they deliberate on this, it seems. Good...it will give me time to prepare myself for Francesco's anger and Caterina's scorn at that miserable performance.

What was I thinking, saying that? I didn't even start to really say what they'd told me..I'd just babbled on. I hadn't meant to embarrass them but...Francesco wasn't going to let me live this down. If I had known I was going to make that big a fool of myself, I would have taken Uncle's offer after all... I want to simply start crying, but I can't yet and I know it. I was going to have to go into that chamber one more time for my dismissal- I could indulge then.

But if they take much longer, I'm going to start and I won't be able to stop...

Then, through the door, the din of hands clapping- and outside of the council's walls, a louder sound: People are cheering. White smoke must have be rising from the vatican- they have finally decided on Uncle. The sheer relief of the thought dries the tears- enough to help me stand and go to the door as it opens without a single catch to my breath or faltering to my step.

We take our places before the council again- this time, the Cardinals who had chosen each of us as their candidates standing between us and the table- the rainments of Pope set on a table between them. All of their faces are impassive as one of the Cardinals- the Camerlengo I believe, though I never paid much mind, speaks up again.

"We have had laid before us two choices on this day. A choice of security in the ways of the past and a choice of the risks of the future. We have weighed these two against one another and against the good as we see it for the Vatican and all those who look to it for their protection. And on this day, we have decided!" Those words ring out to the applause of the gathered Cardinals- while beside me, Uncle can't quite seem to keep a smile off his lips. "Now, let our choice be known!" The Camerlengo picks up the cross rod, walking towards us...

And behind? The mantle and hat are also lifted from their positions upon the small table...by Caterina and Francesco. In Francesco's hand rests the hat- while Caterina sweeps the mantle over her arm- both striding forward confidently...and the two other Cardinals, who had stood by Uncle? They remain in the back of it all, lifting the small, heavy wooden table that had held the vestments between them and carrying it away.

This can't be happening. There is simply no way! I want to look aside to my uncle- to ask him if this is real...but all I can see is the trio of Cardinals approaching me...my sister looks as impassive as ever, but my brother has a triumphant smile (smirk?) upon his face as they stop before me...the Camerlengo raising the rod above my head.

"Kneel, Alessandro." I lower myself to the floor numbly- mind still racing in circles as my siblings move forward...Caterina sweeping the mantle acrossed my shoulders and Francesco placing the hat upon my head..this just can't be happening. I must have passed out in the room and am having this nightmare- or maybe I'm still in the garden after crying myself to sleep-they say that can lead to nightmares too...crying yourself to sleep that is, not sleeping in gardens though that's not known to help one's health either...

Oh dear god. I've been so busy rambling to myself I haven't heard a word of what the Camerlengo's been saying! Only a subtle nudge from Francesco snaps me back into awareness to hear the final words...

"-and in the choosing of change, we are presented with one who will guide us through these years ahead- may he live to see the fruitation of his efforts and guide the Vatican onto a greater path than hiding behind it's own walls. Rise, Alessandro XVIII, and take on your rightful duties!"

I rise to my feet, shakily though the mantle surely hides that as I look up at the Camerlengo..who places the rod into my hands. All around me, the Cardinals are bowing...he bows as well...as do my siblings...even my Uncle bows. I want to toss the rod aside- to shrug off the mantle and knock away that heavy hat- this wasn't supposed to happen! I wasn't- they weren't- it was impossible!

And at the council table- the other Cardinal has risen from his chair..instead taking one further down, where Caterina used to sit. The Camerlengo..former camerlengo..? moves away from us as well as people right themselves and reclaim their seats, taking the place Francesco had once sat. On either side of me- my siblings start to move forward...I can either do so with them, or get run over. It's not much of a choice..and soon enough I find myself sitting numbly upon the chair, a less ornate replica of the Throne of Saint Peter that stood in the main hall of the Vatican.

And at some point during my walk..Uncle had disappeared into the crowd.

As my siblings settle themselves into their new chairs- their new positions and power- I cast my gaze up to the paintings and statues placed about the council room..the saints of the ages, great miracles of the past...

Dear God in Heaven...what are you doing to me...?