The Infirmary was not a happy place the next morning. The raging seventh year Slytherin had stormed into the room with sparks shooting out of his wand as he glared at anything that stepped into his path.
So of course Madam Pomfrey had treated him as any other crazed patient.
"May I help you Mr. Malfoy?"
Grey eyes widened, bloodshot and twitching. "Help me?" He repeated, as though he couldn't believe he had heard such words.
The witch nodded. "Yes Mr. Malfoy, why are you here? Is there something wrong?"
"Why do you think I'm here?" Lucius hissed angrily.
Madam Pompfrey stared at him for a silent moment. "I see nothing unusual."
The blonde, though it was hardly noticeable at the moment, clenched his fists. "I need a potion, whatever curse I am afflicted with does not have counter-curse or else I would not waste my time coming to you. I refuse to go to class this way."
"I don't think I will be able to help you." Madam Pomfrey bustled away and began to rearrange her stock of potions.
Lucius was not a happy camper.
"This is an outrage! The Minister will be hearing about this, mark my words!" Lucius roared. "You are required by law to supply the students of Hogwarts with medical attention during emergencies!"
"I'm sorry Mr. Malfoy, but I do not consider a "bad hair day" an emergency." Madam Pomfrey turned away from the fuming wizard.
Lucius gaped uncharacteristically in his rage. "Bad hair day?" He demanded shrilly. "This is not a bad hair day!" He viciously stabbed at himself. "This is a heinous attack against the Malfoy name!"
He did have a point though, his new look was very distracting to his peers. Not only was his normally luscious blonde hair dyed a clashing muddy brown, but his more… intimate attributes had changed as well.
He had woken up to find himself with a swollen chest and a lack of swelling in his pants.
Malfoy had been turned into a girl.
Though he was a very pretty girl if any were to give their opinion, what with his rosy cheeks and pouting lips. Not to mention his bust!
Very distracting. Though perhaps distracting wasn't the right word to use… because really, he was every male's wet dream come true.
The nurse scoffed at his behavior. "A simple potion will remedy your little problem." She informed drolly.
The blonde rearranged his robes and straightened, lifting his head primly in expectance. "Give it here then."
"Give you what?"
"The potion!" Lucius snapped. "Give me the damned potion so that I may leave your infernal presence!"
Madam Pomfrey sniffed. "You're lucky I don't tell your Head of House about that wagging tongue of yours. I'll excuse your tone because of your lineage; I know how much one's appearance means to you Malfoys."
"And the potion?" He hissed, clenching his fist.
She smiled.
"We're out."
His eyes widened. "Bloody – " He stopped and glared instead. "Wait until my father hears about this!"
"If that is all Mr. Malfoy, I bid you a good day." The woman nodded toward the door sternly.
"You'll regret ever – "
"Good day Mr. Malfoy." She turned a strict eye and pointedly looked toward the exit once more.
Lucius grumbled under his breath as he left the Infirmary, someone was going to pay for this humiliation. He had a fairly good idea who exactly had hexed him, seeing as Harry had been missing when he woke. He wasn't sure how the third year had done it, but he had escaped, and now Lucius couldn't find him.
He would though; he would find that brat and teach him a lesson. No one hexed a Malfoy without paying the repercussions.
No one.
--- --- ---
"Is he gone?"
Madam Pomfrey turned with a gentle smile. "Yes dear, the great brute has left."
Harry peeked around the divider to make sure her words rang true and then stepped into the open. "Thanks." He flushed. "I don't know what I would've done if he had seen me."
"Are you sure you'll be alright?" The woman asked with concern.
A quick grin reassured her. "I'll be fine, like I said; we got into a bit of a tussle, that's all." He shrugged. "My leg's okay now, so there's no need to tattle and lose points from my own House."
"If you are positive." She agreed reluctantly.
"I am." Harry nodded. "Thanks again Madam Pomfrey." He waved as he allowed the doors to swing shut behind him.
Now that that's been taken care of, it's time to begin the hexing spree.
Harry narrowed his gaze as he walked toward the Great Hall.
Time to be a Slytherin Severus would be proud of.
--- --- ---
The Great Hall's doors slammed open when Harry strode in, robes flying, and glaring at any who dare make eye contact with him. No one took much notice except for the few curious heads that were always pointed in that direction, ready for gossip.
Harry glanced toward the Slytherin table, nonchalant as he continued past and onward to the Gryffindors. Lily smiled as he stepped up beside her, mouth etched into a grim line.
"Are you alright?" She whispered under her breath as the Marauders took notice of him.
"Never better." He replied tensely, he could do this.
"Morning mini James, what brings you to our neck of the woods?" Sirius greeted him.
Remus nodded distractedly. "Are you alright?" He asked worriedly. "After last night …"
Harry waved him off. "I'm fine, all in one piece." He shrugged his shoulders.
"T-that's good." Peter spoke up. "We wouldn't want anything to happen to you."
The Slytherin glared at the boy. You weren't even there to witness it you fool, don't give me your pity.
James remained silent during all of this.
"Oi Potter, why don't you ever spend time with your girlfriend anymore?" Sirius waggled his eyebrows suggestively as he looked from Lily to the younger teen. "Someone might come along and steal her from under your nose, she's quite the catch."
Harry smiled humorlessly. "Very funny Black, and I choose not to because I feel like being away from you lot." He informed coolly.
"Excuse me?" James leaned forward on his elbows, finally speaking.
"Oh, sorry, I forgot that you Gryffindors talk in grunts and whistles." Harry inclined his head. "I said that I didn't want to taint myself by being in your presence."
Remus looked between the two worriedly, knowing with no doubt that the situation was going to escalate into a fight.
James remained oblivious.
"Do you want to get hexed?" He growled.
"When a worthy opponent presents themselves." Harry shrugged. "Oh! You meant yourself! Sorry James, but I wouldn't want you to get hurt."
"Outside. Now." James glowered.
"Boys." Lily warned.
Harry smiled, eyes flashing. "Sure."
"Harry!" The witch gasped. "What are you doing?"
He waved her off with a confident nod and their mismatched group filed into the corridor beyond the Great Hall, leaving Peter and Lily watching worriedly as the doors shut.
"Who shoved a stick up your arse Harry? What's with the sudden attitude?" James spoke as they found a silent corner.
The Slytherin's mood shifted quickly. "Yesterday." He raised a brow. "Do you remember what happened to me? What you allowed to happen to me?"
Sirius frowned from beside Remus. "I thought you said nothing happened."
Harry ignored him and fingered the wand that suddenly appeared in his hand. "I never said that, I said that I was still in one piece." He turned to his brother. "I've taken care of that little problem though, now I'm moving up the list."
"Are you threatening me?" James stared hard at the younger.
"I thought you had my back James, what happened yesterday?" Harry twirled his wand, bypassing the previous question.
The hazel eyed Gryffindor watched warily. "You must not have been at the same place I was, because if you were, you would know that I did try to save your hide."
Sirius nudged his Housemate. "It's not as though Malfoy could do anything too horrible to you anyway, or believe me we would have made sure you didn't get up on that damned stage in the first place."
"He didn't do anything did he?" James' eyes narrowed suspiciously.
Harry halted his movement with the wand and slowly crossed his arms. "So now you care about what happens to me?" He scoffed. "I can hold my own, and protect myself Gryffindor, so don't shed any tears on my behalf."
"Harry! Why are you acting this way?" James demanded.
A cool gaze bore into the taller wizard. "I've finally learned not to trust anyone, everyone's out for themselves, and they always want something in the end."
"I'm your brother, what could I possibly want from you?" He demanded.
"James – " Remus warned hesitantly.
Harry held out his hand to stop the werewolf. "No, let him have his say, Merlin knows when I'll be in such a good mood again." He smiled grimly. "Best to get it all out now."
James glared heatedly. "So now you two have something going on behind my back?" He growled. "You're a Gryffindor Remus, remember that."
Sirius scowled. "Lay off Prongs, he's just talking to the bloke."
The elder Potter whirled on his friend. "Don't tell me what to do Sirius, I'm tired of Harry acting like this and giving me shit." He turned back toward his sibling. "He needs to be taught a lesson in respect."
"Are you going to be the one to teach me Jamie boy?" Harry cocked an inquiring brow. "Are you going to put me in my place? Are you going to be like Snape and Malfoy?" His voice darkened.
"I knew they did something to you!" James snarled. "I swear when I get my – "
"What are you going to do? Hex them?" Harry sneered. "It seems that's the best you Gryffindors can do, hex and run."
"That's it!" James stomped. "Here and now Harry, we're going to settle this."
Harry smirked. "I'm game."
James growled angrily. "You'd better watch yourself Harry." He warned. "I'll end up hurting you since I know more curses then you do, it's as simple as that."
The Slytherin laughed. "Me?" He waved a finger in his brother's direction. "Thanks for the advice, but I'd watch my own back if I were you."
"I'm not scared of – " James began to step forward.
Harry flicked his wand up sharply and hissed.
The Marauders flinched in expectance as James froze with the spell. Everything seemed intact and he wasn't spouting curses….
Sirius watched curiously. "What did he do?"
"I'm…not sure." Remus whispered. "I didn't even hear the spell being cast."
James scowled unhappily and opened his mouth to continue.
"I love Severus Snape."
He blinked and snapped his mouth shut quickly, eyes widening in horror. Sirius and Remus stared in shock, too surprised to move.
Harry chuckled darkly. "A simple spell really, if you know where to look." He informed as though they had asked.
James grimaced and began to lash out.
"James Potter is a prat." He fumed and tried again. "I want Severus to have my love child."
Remus muffled his laughter as he stepped behind his boyfriend in case James got any ideas. "Things are beginning to make sense now." His lips tugged into a reluctant smile.
"Well I'm glad you can laugh at this." Sirius said worriedly. "What the hell happened?"
The Slytherin shrugged. "He speaks a few of my thoughts, the ones I want him to say."
Sirius' eyes widened. "That's – "
"I'll see you boys later." Harry chuckled as a large scroll of names suddenly appeared in front of him; he crossed off a name near the top. "As you can see, I have more people to take care of."
He turned, leaving the Gryffindors no chance to interrogate him for the counter-spell.
So far so good. He looked at the scroll still in his hands. Next up is Mia, this ought to be fun.
AN: Does anyone have good ideas for pranks? I'm drawing a blank at the moment, and I need revenge stuff. :laughs: I've gone as far as asking the little kids at work for ideas of revenge.
-Red